Oh, I'm so, so, so very sorry for the lack of update since September!
Let's say that I began to write this story at a point in my life where I swung between feeling well and being depress, then, life happens, the end of September and October were really hard to me, I could still write, huh! (look at the Tangledtober I did!) but I lacked the will for this story.
Now, I'm feeling better, still working on other fanfic at the same time, but I won't give up on this one, I promise! :D
So, now I've finished talking about my life, there's chapter five! A little shorter than the other one, sorry. I try to write more than 2,000 words for each chapter (so you have something worth to read) but I didn't quite reach my own expectation for this one, sorry! xD Still, I hope you'll like it! :)
This one is a little shorter than the ones before (I tried to write over than 2.000 words for each chapter and this one don't quite reach this « level » so…)
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« And now, one… Little… Tiny… Gram of… Potassium Sulfate… », Holding his breath, the twelve-and-seven-month-years-old alchemist poured the last ingredient in his mixture as a sweat drop rolled upon his temple.
Varian looked down at his experience before him and let out a relieved sigh when nothing exploded at his face after a few seconds.
Well, his compound was only made of powder but… He wasn't cent percent sure that it was safe tough. Looking back at his list of ingredients at his left, the alchemist knew he had just finished the purple one color. If he wanted, he could carry on with his preparations but one glance at the window told him it was pretty late and that his father would come soon to see if he was still down there.
But Varian didn't want for Quirin to see what he was doing down in his lab. He wanted it to be a surprise. After all, it was his first time preparing firework and he wanted to test them himself before showing them to anyone. And if everything went according to plan, Varian was sure that they'll be ready before Christmas, and maybe he could even do a launch for the New Year's Eve.
But all of this was based upon a big 'if'.
And so, carefully, he put a little of his mixture in a special tube he had prepared a little while ago and close dit, then tucked the surplus in a box, wrote an indication about the content on it before putting it with several other boxes in shelf, next to the Firework's book the Asian traveler had sold him some times ago, and covered them with a sheet.
He clasped his hand together and then brushed his apron to getting rid off of any suspicious dust and made his way to the ground floor of his house. Pushing open his lab's trap door, he slipped through the hole and closed it after him.
And his father wasn't here. Good. He wouldn't ask what he was doing down in the basement and so, he wouldn't disapprove his little experimentation.
At this thought, Varian felt a pang in his heart and tried to forget the memory of his father pained, disapproving, disappointed face as he began to prepare himself a ham sandwich.
« B-But, Dad! I was just trying to-
« That doesn't matter, Varian » his father deep voice cut him mid-sentence, « The fact is, you almost destroy the stables with your little experimentations! When will you learn when to stop? »
Swallowing hard, he tried to ignore the familiar guilt that settled itself in his chest and ate silently his meal.
When things had gone wrong? When did his father begin to have high expectation for him? When did he become a pale excuse for a son?
When things will return the way they were before… ?
There, Varian felt the sob at the back of his throat but he wouldn't give in. He clenched a fist and took a deep, steady breath.
Now, the urge to cry had disappeared.
Good.
As he swallowed the last piece of his sandwich, he wondered why his father had changed this much in the last few months. He tried to remember when the things had shifted so drastically but he couldn't point out an exact moment. It was like one day his father had simply decided… To change, and Varian wasn't prepared for this. And it was still the case.
But why… ? The alchemist knew that his father had high responsibilities – he was ruling an entire village, nonetheless! But still… Why did he have to constantly remind him how much a failure he was…?
Varian frowned. Wait, why am I thinking that? Dad never told me I was a failure…!
… Ye, snickered a vicious voice in the back of his mind, and Varian pushed the thought away. He shouldn't have these kinds of thoughts! He knew his Dad still love him, it was just…
Varian let out a frustrated sigh as he leaned against the back of his chair.
But what 'it was just'is? Good question. But the twelve years old boy hadn't had the beginning of a clue of what that could be. And it was upsetting him!
Tears began to gather at the rim of his eyelids.
He just felt so helpless… !
Instinctively, his left hand went to his chest and pulled out of his shirt the familiar stone that his father had given him years ago, and the young alchemist sought for the cold, grounding feeling it gave him.
For an odd reason, Varian had a feeling of familiarity each time he reached for the opal, and today was not an exception. Plus, it was the new moon and, as always, dark thoughts plagued his mind and he was a little more unstable...
The routine.
The alchemist took a few minutes to collect himself and rub his eyes, trying to get rid of his bitterness.
It was at this moment he heard the scratch.
He froze, then waited a few seconds before a second scratching sound was heard.
Puzzled, he got up and walked toward the window and stay silent a few moments longer.
There, something was hiding behind his window sill. Glad he hadn't thought to close it earlier, the young boy silently leaned over it to looked outside.
He nearly cried in surprise when small, brown, intelligent eyes looked back at him.
«Rrrrrr? »
Varian felt his heart melt at the face that faced him. Clearly, it wasn't a baby raccoon but an adult one. Still, the alchemist could only see the animal as « cute ».
And even if it was a little unusual for a raccoon to come this close of human habitation, the twelve-year-old boy decided not to dwell too much upon it.
« Aw, hello there lil' buddy… » the raccoon gazed back at him and Varian had the feeling that the animal could understand what he was saying, « … You're lost ? » the raccoon shook his head in negation, « … Well,… I wondered why you're here and not somewhere else… I'm sure that you have a lovely lady raccoon waiting for you back home… » and for the second time, the wild animal denied his assumption.
Varian frowned at the cleverness of the raccoon before asking, « So… You're all alone… ? »
The raccoon nodded. Varian sighed and leaned on the window sill, his chin planted upon his crossed arm.
« … You're not the only one… » the young boy murmured, his gaze lost in the nowhere in front of him. Suddenly, he felt a soft nuzzle against his arm and the alchemist locked his eyes with the raccoon.
Without any hesitations, the kind that one could only expect from a wild animal, the raccoon began to chirp and nuzzle against him, as if he tried to give Varian some form of comfort.
A little puzzled, the young boy reached an unsure hand toward the animal and began to pet the silver-grey fur. As the animal didn't seem to recoil from the touch, Varian didn't stop and scratch the raccoon behind one ear too, a small smile dancing on his face.
At one point, Varian was sitting against the wall inside his house, the raccoon tucked upon his laps, his hand running along the animal's fur. The young alchemist felt at peace, the raccoon presence soothing him as the oddly familiar comfort that the animal had brought with him was all that he needed at this moment.
Sometimes later, Varian heard the clicking sound of keys in the door's lock and the raccoon swiftly made his way upon his shoulders, then to the window as his father frame walked through the door. Quirin's dark eyes first spotted Varian siting form on the ground then traveled to the open window.
Everything was still for a few seconds as his father's gaze looked upon the wild animal. Something seemed to shift in his eyes as a strange emotion filled his dark orbs, and then he let out a breath, looking down,
« Varian…
« Yes, Dad…?
« Just… » he saw him sigh, « Just… Be careful. » With that, he moved away from the door, closing it behind him, and made his way toward his office. Varian, extremely puzzled by what just happened, was, in one instant, on his feet and followed his father further in the house.
If he had taken the time to look behind him, the alchemist would have seen the raccoon knowing gaze as well as the approval nod he made toward Quirin. Then, he was off in the open space outside and disappear inside the wood that bordered the village in a matter of seconds.
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The fireworks weren't a failure after all.
Even if Varian had to admit that he had some difficulties to sneak out of his house in the middle of the night to do his little experimentations, he was quite pleased with the result.
Sure, he had to avoid several times to not get burn too severely but, in the end, the show worth the risk.
His father was the first person he showed his fireworks. Quirin was so afraid that his son might get hurt (not knowing that he almost had been several times before) that Varian had to yell at him to stop him in his tracks because it was him who would get hurt if he had come to close of the little flammable objects.
So Quirin had to sit down on a broken log ('Because Dad, you know, it's my Christmas gift to you, and I want it to be special !') and watched as his son worked around his fireworks, and could only admire in awe strings made of light shot from the ground straight to the sky and burst in a million a shining sparkles.
He had to admit that Varian was truly gifted with science, his little display for Christmas Eve was enough proof. And so, when Varian finished with the fireworks, Quirin crossed the distance between them and crushed him in a powerful embrace.
He tried to convey in it all the unsaid that existed between them: his pride, his love, his sadness, his guilt too.
Because Quirin knew that his son's skills were what will be his own demise, that Varian will hurt him sooner or later, and that experience might break him. Quirin only hoped that he still had time and tried to ignore the « tick-tock » sound that the fate's clock kept running in the back of his mind.
But the future is still clouded… Things might happen the way they will as they might not…
Those wise words rang in his ears once more and Quirin sigh as he broke his hug with Varian and put one gloved hand on his son's cheek.
« Thank you, Varian… », he said, eyes shining, « Now, shall we go back home? So we can share our Christmas dinner and I could give you your present…
« Sure Dad ! » he said while taking his father's hand in his own, « You have no idea how glad I am that the fireworks, well, worked and that you liked them! »
And with that, they were on their way home, Varian bouncing on his feet as Quirin looked at him with a smile upon his features.
Yes… he thought, Maybe Varian will hurt me one day but… I already forgive him… I have faith in the future, but more than ever in my little Varian…
In my oh so, so precious child….
Your thoughts ? :3 thank you for reading and, once more, forgive me for being late in my update ! xD