So so so sorry this took me so long, this chapter kicked my butt! I restarted like 4000 times, but I'm happy with this one, very happy and it's building up to something BIG!

I hope you guys are still with me, all of the wonderful reviews have kept me going so THANK YOU! XX

And thank you Laruen and lovely Jess H, you two saved this chapter! Xx

"You're good," Olivia whispered as she stood at the entrance of the filing cupboard she had stumbled upon just moments before. Elliot had quickly pushed past her and told her to keep watch. He had looked up several times, just to ensure that she was still on the lookout, something which had bothered her the first time, by now she was furious. If she had to tell him one more time that he was "good" he soon wouldn't be.

She had asked him to leave no less than a minute after he'd encouraged her to go to sleep last night. She'd mumbled something about not being able to share beds, and needing sleep to be on alert. He hadn't said a word, he'd simply grabbed his pillow and left. This morning he had sat next to her in the kitchen but barely said a word. This was the very reason that she had thought about pulling out of working with him at the very last minute. They just couldn't help themselves; one of them would always do something to change what was supposed to be a professional operation into a nightmare. She couldn't stay with him if he was going to be like this. Why was it so hard for them to do their jobs and go home? Why did they always have to cross that line? Why did she let him get into the bed with her?

She knew the answer to at least one of the questions. She had let him climb into bed with her because she had missed him, more than she could ever describe. How could she turn down the chance to be that close to him? She tried to hide her sigh. Did he really need any more explanations as to why they couldn't just be friends did he? If they had been partners all the way up to this operation there was no way last night would have happened. Being in the station, surrounded by their colleagues, walking side by side every day, they were the only constants that were stopping them from blurring the lines of their relationship. There was no doubt in her mind that Elliot didn't feel the same way as she did, no doubt that he would ever cheat on his wife…maybe he wasn't even the real problem, maybe it was her? She couldn't just be friends with him, she didn't know how to be just friends with him, not when she knew that she had feeling for him. She still wasn't quite sure of the true extent of her feelings for him, she had spent so long trying to avoid labelling it that she was now too afraid to try. She just knew that she was miserable without him, but totally unsure of how to be with him.

She had always hated relying on people, it had never gotten her very far at all. She had allowed herself to trust and rely on Elliot in a way she had no one else and just look at where it had gotten her? Alone. Sure, it had taken her a lot longer than usual, but the end result was just the same. After twelve years of relying on Elliot Stabler she was yet again alone. It wasn't his fault, he had a family, a wife. The scales were never even with them, he didn't need her, he just enjoyed her company, they worked well together but at best she was a glorified babysitter. Now, he had his family. He had once told her that all that he had was her and the job, now the tables had well and truly turned. He and the job were all she had…and she didn't really have him anymore at all. She sighed again, unable to hide her disappointment.

"Liv?" Elliot called. She looked up only to find him staring at her with a concerned look on his face. She wanted to tell him, in that moment, she wanted to tell him that the only reason that she constantly pushed him away was because she needed him more than he needed her and she couldn't face the disappointment of him slowly pulling away from her as things with his wife became more and more perfect.

Jealousy wasn't something she often struggled with, but she hated knowing that the only reason that Elliot would ever turn to her when things were going badly in his marriage. He would start by completely blocking her out before eventually confiding in her. She had hated it but now she would have done anything just to know that he needed her too, not that she would ever admit that.

This was why they couldn't be friends, it worked when they were partners because they had to fight through it, they had no choice. Without being partners he could walk away forever. It was easier if she simply pulled the band aid off herself and if she was the one to make the decision. He would never understand.

"What are you doing up here?"

Olivia turned quickly to see a rather overweight man walking towards her. "Uh…" Before she had the chance to answer Elliot exited the room pulling up the zip on his trousers.

"Oh…" he feigned embarrassment. "Sorry. We were uh-"

"Yeah, I can guess what you were doing." His eyes roamed over Olivia's body as Elliot buckled his belt. She was relieved that Elliot had reacted so quickly, she had been so caught up in her thoughts that she didn't even hear him coming.

"We were finished anyway," Elliot placed a hand on Olivia's arm and gently pulled her away.

"What the hell was that?" he asked, not even trying to hide his anger. He had practically hauled her into his room and closed the door.

"Elliot-" she started, not quite sure what she was going to say. She had no excuse. Jesus, she'd been so busy thinking about him that she'd nearly got them both killed.

"What?" he asked, unable to hide his frustration. She'd been so annoyed that he'd kept asking her if he was "good" she'd never let him down before and then, right in that moment, she did.

"This isn't working…" she mumbled, not bothering to meet his stare. The silence was deafening.

"So what?" he started after a few moments. "You wanna quit? You wanna just out yourself now? Jesus Liv, if you couldn't handle this then you should never have even-"

"I can handle this." She shot back, anger pulsing through her veins. Who the hell did he think he was? She forced herself to breathe. She couldn't scream, she had no way out, she had to stay calm.

"Then what is it? Huh?" he watched as she took a deep breath and spoke.

"I can't handle you." She turned away from him, unable to face the look on his face. She couldn't handle being in such close proximity with him after forcing herself to forget about him. It was like losing him all over again, knowing that as soon as the op was over he would be gone and she'd have to get over him all over again when she'd barely survived the first time.

He watched as she turned her back to him. How could he have been so stupid. He'd climbed into bed with her last night, just wanting to be close to her after being away from her for so long. He'd known it was wrong, his wife would never have forgiven him but the urge to be close to her was just too great. He had promised himself that it wouldn't go any further, he knew that she wouldn't let it. She didn't care about him the way that he cared about her, she didn't long to be close to him, dream about being with him… He should have realised last night when she tensed in his arms and almost immediately asked him to leave. He should have realised that he had pushed her too far. He should have just accepted there and then that she was his friend only when she had to be. Maybe the damage done during their partnership, the angry words, the insults, he secrets, the lies were just too much, maybe she had been counting down the days until he left. His heart sank, maybe she hadn't missed him at all.

"Hey! You two in here?"

Olivia turned as she heard Phil outside. "Elliot-" she wanted to explain it to him, she wanted to be able to find the words.

"Let's just get this over with, the sooner its over the soon I can go back to my family." The words cut like a knife. He looked right through her as he walked towards the door and pulled it open.

"Heard you two nearly got caught in the filing room." Phil walked in as soon as the door was open.

"Uh, yeah, sorry. We couldn't find you but you said-"

"You can't do that Elliot, I'm serious, if you're caught snooping around they will kill you. What would have happened if you'd been two guys? You're lucky you can get away with pretending that you were just having a quick screw-"

"Won't happen again." Elliot didn't even look at her. He didn't need to he'd received the message loudly and clearly.

"Okay meet me out front in five," Phil left almost as quickly as he'd arrived.

"Elliot-" Olivia started, she needed to swallow her pride. Elliot was her friend, she'd been letting the fear of losing him allow her to push him away. She'd never once given him a chance and there he was fighting to be close to her only to have a door slammed in his face at every turn. She was terrified, but she had to be honest. "Look-"

"I didn't wanna take this either you know. Our partnership was strained at best and it kept me away from the people I love. Don't think this was all your burden to bear Olivia, it was no picnic for me either." He couldn't help but seethe with anger. He was angry that he could have been so stupid, that he could have ever even thought that she would feel the way he so desperately wanted her to feel. So he did what he usually did when he was angry, there in that moment he lashed out, desperate to prove that he hadn't been pining after her for months, years even. "I'm happier now than I have ever been." Lie. "Leaving you behind was the best decision I've ever made." He walked past her and in a few moments he was gone, leaving her alone in the room.

Just a few second earlier she had been ready to confess how frightened she was that he didn't want or need her in his life. In the space of those few seconds he had confirmed her worst fears. Thank God she hadn't told him. She quickly wiped the stray tear as it slipped along her cheek, took a deep breath and followed him. Just a few more days. Just a few more days until he was gone and she could finally get over him.

"This is where the new bedrooms are going to go," Phil brought them into a large empty space that was just past the bedrooms they had come from.

"They're growing?" Elliot asked, noting that Olivia hadn't said a word since she'd joined them on the tour, she hadn't even looked at him. He wasn't quite sure why he'd been so harsh, why he'd reacted so badly to her rejection. Of course he'd hated leaving her, being away from her, she had to know that? He was like a petulant child, wanting to hurt her more than she had hurt him. He'd done that, he could tell and his heart ached for her.

"Yeah, they want to get people here full time, shifts of about a week at a time. They're vetting as we speak." Phil watched as Olivia simply looked around, he had noted the atmosphere in the room as soon as he'd walked in, maybe they really had been getting to know each other in the filing cupboard, he wouldn't blame Elliot at all, wife or no wife.

There was something about Olivia Benson that was so intense, he couldn't help but want to get to know her. Her quiet confidence mixed with what could only be described as vulnerability made Phil curious. If it wasn't for Stabler maybe he would have thought about getting to know her himself.

"Who funds it?" Elliot asked, shaking Phil out of his daydream. Olivia slowly walked further and further away from the two men, looking for any clues as to who could possibly be funding this ring.

"That's what I'm here to find out and I'm close." The older man's eyes lit up.

"Maybe if we can get back into that cupboard-"

"Man, do you know how hard it is even for me?" Phil asked, noting how long it had taken before he was allowed into the cupboard with details of past and future parents.
"But we can get in there, maybe we can track the potential parents? Find out who they've spoken to about the adoptions?"

"Not now, they're already on alert after your earlier stunt. You've been told you're not supposed to be in there, you won't get away with it twice."

"Liv what do you think?" Elliot turned around to where Olivia had been standing just moments before. She was gone. "Olivia?" he asked, his heart rate increasing by the millisecond.

"Where is she?" Phil asked, the panic in his voice equal to Elliots. "Olivia!" he called. Walking towards the second exit. They both stopped as they heard a loud call.

"Elliot!" It was Olivia. Both men raced towards the second exit, Elliot pushed the door without even thinking about what could be behind it. What if she was in trouble? Phil followed close behind. After running down a narrow corridor they came to a second door. Phil quickly placed a hand on Elliot's chest to stall him, he placed his free hand on the door and slowly pushed it.

"Jesus…" Elliot walked in slowly as the smell overwhelmed him it smelt of human faeces and urine. In the corner of the room he saw Olivia, she was on her knees with her hand covering her face. She was leaning over something, he couldn't quite make it out.

"We need an ambulance," Olivia called, struggling not to gag as the smell threatened to overwhelm her. She'd heard something, followed the sound and ended up in the tiny room. The man man in front of her was no older than thirty five, he had bruises all over his face and neck.

"We can't call an ambulance," Phil answered, stepping closer to Olivia and the man on the floor.

"He's in pain, we need to get him help or something…" she trailed off as the man reached for her hand, he was struggling to keep his eyes open. Had he been drugged? "What the hell happened to him?"

"Pulse?" Elliot asked, stunned by the appearance of the younger man. How long had he been there for?

"We can't get him help." Phil answered, unsure of what else to say.

"We have to…he's…he's been beaten? God knows what drugs are in his system," Olivia placed a gentle hand on top of his hand. "You're okay." She turned to Phil. "Do you have any idea who did this?"

"I did."

"What?" Elliot asked taking a step towards Olivia. She was still leaning over the other man.

"You have to understand okay?" Phil asked, panic rising in his voice. "He made me, he knew that I was a cop and he was going to tell everyone."

"So you beat him? Drugged him?"

"No, we fought okay? He got a few good punches in as well – I…I couldn't kill him so I sedated him, just until this is over. I'm not a bad person but if they find out about me they'll kill me, he was laughing about it, said he couldn't wait to watch them skin me alive."

"This isn't right," Olivia looked from Phil to the other man.

"Would you have preferred it if I'd killed him?" Phil shot back, sweat dripping down his face.

"How long has he been here?" Elliot asked, looking at the man as he struggled to open his eyes.

"It was the day before you guys came-"

"Jesus Phil, you should have told us."

"What was I supposed to do? I know you guys, you'd take one look at him and want to help him. But helping him gets us killed."

"We can't just leave him to rot in here." Olivia looked directly at Elliot.

"What do you suggest? Everyone thinks he left to hook up with a girl, if we suddenly bring him out what the hell is that going to look like?"

"You should never have let it get this far," Olivia told him almost angrily. No one deserved to be treated like this. Lying in his own urine and only God knew what else.

"Please…" the man spoke for the first time, still battling to open his eyes. "Cop…" he mumbled.

"Jesus, he's going to tell everyone." Phil wiped the sweat from his forehead. "It's the first word out of his mouth Olivia, you think you'll be able to keep him quiet?"

"We have to leave him," Elliot spoke slowly, hating the fact that Phil had given them no choice. "One of us has to come and check on him every few hours and as soon as this is over we get him to a hospital."

"Elliot-" Olivia started.

"There's no other way."

Just an hour after leaving the man in the small dark room Olivia could think of nothing but getting out of the god damned place. She had been waiting for Elliot to finish finding out more from Phil while she went to her room to try to calm down. She was furious. Not quite sure if it was with Phil or Elliot.

"Well hello gorgeous." Kieran walked into the room slowly. She'd forgotten to lock the door. Shit.

"Not now-" the last thing she wanted was to have that creep anywhere near her, he made her skin crawl.

"I heard you were caught having a quick fumble with your married friend," he whispered, getting closer than she would ever want him to be. She closed her eyes to hide the revulsion. "If you want to fumble with me-"

"Not gonna happen," she took a step away from him. "I'm not afraid of you, so you can leave now before-"
"Before what? Before Phil and Elliot get back? You think they'll protect you? You're just as much a pawn in this as those kids," he laughed. "There's no place for a woman here. The sooner you learn that," his finger raced a line from her cheek bone to her jaw. "The better."

"I know I was wrong," Phil admitted, sitting across from Elliot in the kitchen. The industrial estate had been turned into a modern day housing facility, with a kitchen, bedrooms, bathrooms but there was no way of hiding the grimey walls and broken windows, they had yet to fix those.

"You're telling me, what the hell were you thinking?" Elliot asked.

"I just…I got scared okay…I shouldn't admit that to you but I did. The second he blew my cover I'd have a bullet in my head and I…I was scared."

After a few moments of silence Phil asked the question that he'd been desperate to ask. "You and Benson?" he started.

"What about us?"

"There's something there."

"No, no you're mistaken there."

"I may not always make the best decisions Stabler but I know chemistry when I see it."

"It's complicated," Elliot answered, tired of fighting his feelings.

"The wife?" Phil asked, watching as Elliot nodded. "You two ever-"
"Never."

"But you wanted to? You want to?"

"I don't know…" Elliot sighed, it was amazing how honest he could be with Phil who he'd known for just a few days. He could never have admitted this to Olivia. Never. "We've been partners for twelve years, there were times when…"

"Go on," Phil encouraged.

"There were times when I thought maybe something may have happened but uh, shes not interested."

"I see the way she looks at you Stabler, that's not the look of someone who's not interested. Do you love her?" he asked.

Elliot looked up at the other man. How could he answer this question? When he had a wife and children who adored him at home? How could he even think about loving anyone else? She wasn't just anyone else. She was Olivia.

"Let me put it another way, would you die for her?"

"In a hearbeat," Elliot answered honestly. He would die for Olivia Benson without even thinking about it. "I'd do anything to keep her safe, not that she needs me to, but if there was ever a time…ever a time that she needed me to, I'd do anything."

"Sounds like love to me."

"She doesn't love me," his heart sank as he finally found the route of his anger. "She doesn't love me."

24 hours later

Olivia took deep breaths as she struggled to control her laboured breathing. Elliot held her tightly against him, blood tricking down the side of his face. They were both battered and bruised, sweating and shaking.

"Elliot…" she gasped, barely able to speak. She had never been so terrified in her life, nothing could compare to the fear that was quickly building in her stomach every time she heard a single sound in the distance.

"Shhh," he whispered, pressing them even further into the tiny crevasse they were hiding in. No one had walked past for minutes but it didn't mean they weren't there. He could barely control his heart rate, struggling to breathe after having run for what seemed like forever. He'd simply grabbed her hand and dragged her behind him, not stopping to think about her injuries, there was no time.

"Phil-"

"I know, I know." He rested his chin on the top on her head, utterly exhausted. There was nothing that they could have done. They couldn't have seen it coming.

They both froze as they heard a voice, Elliot's grip on Olivia tightened as she tensed against him. It was too close.

"Detectives! Come out, come out wherever you are."

End Notes:

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