Thank you to those of you who have taken the time to read or to leave a comment. I'm really glad that you are enjoying these.

He's been looking for her for three hours, Hammond had called and alerted him to the fact that he hadn't been able to contact her for a couple of days and had given him the mission of checking that on her. She hadn't been at her house, or the gym, or the park or anywhere that he knew that she would usually go so here he was, at his last option before he started to panic.

He trudges through the small apartment stepping over piles of books, it never ceases to amaze him how much crap a person could fit into one tiny place. He hasn't been here for a while and if he's completely honest it's the last place that he wants to be, he isn't ready. Still, he takes a deep breath and moves towards the rest of the apartment.

He's relieved when he finds her but he instantly feels a jolt of something that he isn't ready to face yet. He steps into the bedroom, which is much neater than the rest of the place and there she is, lying on the bed, still.

"Carter," he starts, unsure of what he should say. He hopes that she'll spot him and snap into action, that she'll apologise for making him worry and assure him that she's fine. It's selfish but that's what he needs from her right now.

She doesn't respond.

"Uh, Hammond was worried about you. He says you always check in when you're on downtime… It's been a few days." Again, no response. He takes a step towards her but stops, unsure of what he should do. Daniel would know. He sighs, Daniel would know.

It's been two weeks since he died or ascended or whatever the hell he did. Two weeks since he's heard the voice of his friend, since he'd been irritated beyond belief by the younger man. It's been two weeks. Jack had been amazed by how his team had kept it together in that time. They'd fought and won against Osiris, they'd managed an entire mission without one of them breaking down.

After the mission Carter quietly admitted that she missed Daniel and he's ashamed to admit that he'd shut her down, reminding her that Daniel had made a choice and that they had to respect that. He isn't ready to face this yet, he's not sure he ever will be. Their team mate, their friend is gone.

Everything in the apartment screams Daniel, this is, after all, the place where he lived. There are items that look like they could be from Abydos all over the room and just a few photos. There is one of Daniel's parents just next to his bed on a small set of drawers, there is a photo of Sha're and right next to it is a photo of SG1. It's a one he's never seen before, one of the four of them off world on one of their first missions, when Daniel was insistent on taking photos of everything. They look so young, Daniel stands in the centre, Jack is leaning on his shoulder while Carter has an arm around the younger man's waist, Teal'c stands on the end, it's before the days when he would allow himself to show emotion so there's no smile, but there's a warmth in his eyes. Jack's heart begins to sink. He needs to focus, he needs to get Carter up and out of here.

"Carter-"

"Sir…" she starts, her voice thick with emotion, she sounds like she's been crying. "It's fine, I just need a few minutes." She's so tired. She doesn't know when she last slept for more than a few hours. She hadn't intended to end up in Daniel's apartment, or on his bed but she needed to feel close to him. Their last mission had happened so quickly she'd barely had the chance to accept his passing let alone mourn.

The last two weeks have been a blur and it seems as though everyone has moved on, like they have simply accepted his passing because it was his choice to ascend and ascension doesn't mean death, but it feels like he'd dead, he's still gone.

She'd just needed something to remind her of his life and his loss, so here she was. She'd made her way into the apartment and stopped almost instantly, it smelt like him. The grief hit her almost instantly and for the first time since his death she allowed herself to cry, to really cry.

She remembers lying in this bed with Daniel shortly after Share's death. She had visited him for several days and found the same thing each time, Daniel, unable to leave the bed, unable to face the world. She had tried to encourage him to get out of the bed, on the fourth day, after he had begged her to leave him there, to allow him to grieve, she had simply climbed into bed with him. She'd listened as he spoke about his wife, about her life and about how empty his life would be now that she was gone. She had said barely a word, just allowing him to speak until he fell asleep, she had let herself out just a little while later.

The following day, when she had arrived to see how she was she'd been surprised to see him answer the door, fully dressed, ready to face the world again.

Now she wonders if she will ever feel ready to face the world again.

Daniel's loss is huge. He was their moral compass, the glue that held them together. She can't imagine a world without him, she doesn't want to. Daniel had been like a brother to her, a constant source of light and companionship. She had spoken to Daniel about every single part of her life and had had done the same. He knew her better than she knew herself. How was she supposed to carry on without him?

She doesn't believe that SG1 will ever recover from this, she isn't sure how they will function without him, he was the heart of their team, the conscience. They'll never be the same again.

She had foolishly allowed herself to believe that SG1 could get through anything, that they would survive almost anything that the universe threw at them, because up until this moment they had. Daniel's death had been a very painful reminder that any one of them could be gone in an instant.

She wants to talk, she wants to tell someone that her heart physically hurts, that she misses Daniel so much she can barely stand it, but she can't. She had tried, once, but Colonel O'Neill had dismissed her and Teal'c hadn't said a word. She knows that they are dealing with his loss in their own way but that doesn't help her. She misses Daniel so much.

"I'll wait outside," Colonel O'Neill's voice shakes her from her thoughts. Sam closes her eyes for a moment, not sure that she can get up, not sure that she can plaster a smile on her face and assure him that everything is fine. She just wants to stay here, where she feels close to Daniel, where she is free to mourn, alone.

She hears him head for the door and speaks slowly. "Sir, I… I just need some time. You go, I'll be fine." She hasn't moved since he's entered the room, she continues to stare at the ceiling.

Jack looks at her, really looks at her for the first time since Daniel left them. He feels like a coward, he's avoided her and any conversation about Daniel because he's scared about just how much it will tear him up if he thinks about it for too long. He's pushed her away, and barely spoken to Teal'c in order to protect himself.

He surprises himself and moves towards the bed, he plants himself next to her, on top of the covers. She doesn't move.

"It's been a rough few weeks," he admits, watching as she releases a shaky breath and nods, a single tear slips along her cheek and lands on the pillow. "It hasn't quite sunk in yet that he's gone," he swallows the lump in his throat. He is gone. He feels a deep twist in his chest, Daniel is gone. "I uh…" he exhales, "I uh…I'm not quite sure how we're gonna get through this one Carter…" His voice breaks and he takes a deep breath, he hears her swallow a sob and reaches for her blindly as he speaks, "but we are gonna get through this."

His hand finds hers and in seconds their fingers are entwined. He thinks about moving, about pulling her into his arms but he knows that this is enough, that anything more could be too much.

They lie on their backs, eyes on the ceiling, hand in hand for what seems like hours as she silently cries and he finally allows himself to accept the pain of Daniel's loss. Occasionally one of them will tighten their fingers against the other, a soft squeeze as a sign of support or comfort.

"We should call Teal'c," he tells her once her tears have dried, knowing that their teammate needs to grieve too, she nods, pulling her hand from his and pushes until she's sat up.

"We could get some food?" She likes the idea of staying in Daniel's apartment with the Colonel and Teal'c, just for the evening.

"Pizza?"

~SJ~

Teal'c is there in less than an hour. The remaining members of SG1 spend the evening talking about Daniel and all of the things that they are going to miss. They talk through tears and laughter, remembering some of Daniel's greatest and most ridiculous moments and for the first time in weeks Sam begins to feel like she might be able to face the world again.

I'd love to know what you think and how you would like them to end up in bed together next chapter?