Cas' POV

Gabe helped me out of my wheelchair, and with getting dressed, my tux was a a little loose, because I had lost weight since my accident, I bit my lip a little. Gabe looked at me, "It's not to bad Cas, you could have lost more weight"

I sigh a little, and looked down at my hands, "Will they be able to fix it… I mean… I know it doesn't matter I can't move so it won't fall down but…"

Gabe kneeled next to me, "Hey Castiel look at me, just because you are paralyzed doesn't mean it is any less important for your tux to fit right okay. They just gotta take new measurments is all, You are going to look fricking hot in your tux. I bet Dean is going to clean up real nice, I mean seriously Dean in a tuxedo?"

I smiled a little, at Gabe who smiled at me. I took a deep breath, but then I frowned, "How are they going to take measurements if I can't stand."

Gabe nodded, "I'll hold you up. No big deal baby brother."

I looked down again, the lady who does the measurments came in, "Hello, I am Amelia, Mr. Sacks says your tuxedo is a little to big so I need to take new measurments. I will need you standing in order to take proper measurments Mr. Novak"

Gabe helped me so I was standing up, the girl gave me a sympathetic look, a look of pity. I bit my lip, then looked away. Not wanting to see her look of pity, I was tired of seeing those types of looks honestly. Gabe kept holding me, with my help of using my upper body strength but it was starting to give. Gabe looked at the woman, "Can I sit him down for a minute?"

She nods, "Yeah I can do the rest of these measurements with him sitting?"

I bit my lip, "Can we please not talk about me like I am not here?"

Gabe looks at me and frowns, "Sorry Cassie, c'mon let's sit you down."

I nodded and he helped me sit down, I groaned a little, my muscles very sore. "So, you are getting married? Who is the lucky girl?" The young girl asked as she took measurments and made notes.

I laughed a little, "Guy actually. His name is Dean"

She looked up and smiled, "Really? That's awesome congratulations."

I smiled and nodded, "Yeah."

After twenty minutes I was dressed back in my jeans and t-shirt, Gabe helped me into my wheelchair. Once we were finished and made and appointment for one more fitting to make sure the new measurements were right. Gabe texted Dean to let him know we were finished, and we went outside. It was a nice day out so Gabe walked alongside me while I pushed myself. "You are scared Cas"

I sighed a little and ran my hand through my hair stopping and looked at my hands, "I know Dean loves me… I mean I do sort of. It is just… I mean I used to be a fucking angel Gabriel… maybe not as powerful as you but I was still a damn angel. Now I am just a damn human in a damn chair."

Gabe sat down next to me and looked at me, "Cas you are so much more than just a human in a chair, you have a history that no other human could ever imagine except Dean and Sam, and they don't even completely understand. I can only imagine how scary this is for you Cas okay but despite me hatred of Dean, I know how much he loves you Castiel. He doesn't care that you are just a human stuck in a wheelchair, he didn't care if you were an angel, or a human. Or even a paralyzed human, he still wants to marry you. I know you are terrified that one day he is going to decide you aren't worth the trouble but I know how much he loves you. He adores you Cas, I do not believe he could ever stop loving you Cas no matter what. Yeah you two will get in arguments and sometimes you may both say things that you will regret but I know you two are going to be together til you die, I know Dad told you that. Listen Cas I hate that this happened to you and he won't let me fricking heal you. It drives me crazy and frankly it makes me so fricking mad."

I wiped the tears from my eyes and closed my eyes tightly, The sound of the Impala's engine approaching interrupted our conversation. I shakily ran my hands through my hair and was crying a little, I heard the door of the impala opening but I was breathing hard and I realized quickly I was having a panic attack. I felt hands cupping my face and I could faintly hear Dean's voice trying to calm me down. I felt him hugging me tightly whispering in my ear. "Hey, hey c'mon Cas I've got you, you are safe Cas. Breathe slowly, cmon love breath with me. Cas, Cas listen to me… please just listen to me…c'mon babe. You are safe now Cas"

I could feel myself starting to calm down, I still felt like my heart was trying to force it's way out of my chest. Dean pulled my hands to his chest, making me feel him breathing and making me breathe with him. It was the best way to calm me down from my panic attacks, The fuzziness cleared and I looked into Dean's eyes, he smiled a little at me and cupped my cheek before kissing my head, "Welcome back Cas. C'mon let's get you home."

I shakily nodded, then he helped me out of my wheelchair and into the front seat, Sam and Gabe were already in the backseat, once I was in the seat Gabe rested his hand on my shoulder, "You okay"

I nodded a little, but didn't feel up to talking. I sat silently as Dean put my wheelchair in the trunk then got back in the car. The entire time I was quite while Sam and Gabe chatted in the background and Dean played his music. My brain was still calming down and I just wanted to work through my emotions. I hardly recognized we had got back to the bunker when I felt Dean picking me up and putting me in my chair. I blushed a little and looked down at my hands, "Sorry:

He kissed my head gently , "It's alright Cas, you want to go to bed?" I nodded a little, again not feeling much like talking. We made our way from the garage to his bedroom, and once we were in his room he helped me again out of my chair and into our bed. Once I was settled and out of my jeans Dean laid down next to me. He softly stroked my hair, "What happened to cause that panic attack Cas?"

I bit my lip and looked at my hands, "I was talking to Gabe…about how scared I was of losing you and he was making me feel better but then he mentioned Dad and I don't know… I just got scared again. And then I feared losing you and so many other things" I could feel my breathing getting shallow.

Dean took my hands again placing them on his chest, "Hey hey hey. Feel me breathing Cas, that's it breathe with me"

My breathing calmed down and Dean hugged me softly, I bit the tears back, "I hate being so scared sometimes Dean?"

Dean hugs me tightly and kisses my head lightly, "I know babe, I wish I could just fix it… Your panic attacks scare the hell out of me but I promise Cas, I promise I will always be there."

I closed my eyes and let the tears fall as I cried myself to sleep. Dreaming of Dean and I married, of kids, of my going to heaven and being an angel again. I dreamt of things I had never imagined I would get the chance to live, I may despise being a human stuck in a wheelchair but I love being a human because it has given me a chance to be with Dean, and get to grow old with him

((Alright so hopefully this chapter is a little bit better. Thank you all for reading so far please if you want to read more, follow and favorite. IF you have any comments on the story you would like to share please leave me a review, that would be marvelous!))