Thank you to everyone who had read and to everyone who has taken the time to review. I really appreciate each one!

Here we go…

"I know it's late, and I hope I'm not interrupting anything…I tried your cell but it just went straight to voicemail. I was just wondering if you'd seen Elliot or heard from him? I've been trying to call and he's not answering and I'm…I'm just a little bit worried. I know I'm probably being silly but if you hear from him could you get him to give me a call? Thanks."

And just like that it was over.

Olivia pushed herself up, ignoring the fact that Elliot was still on top of her. He rolled off of her and in seconds his back hit the mattress. She sat up, pulling the covers towards her chest. She closed her eyes, her teeth biting into her lower lip as the realisation of what she had just done slowly seeped into every inch of her body.

She couldn't help but flinch as she felt his palm against her bare back. He pulled away quickly, as though he'd been burned. "Liv…" he barely whispered.

"I uh, you need you to go," she mumbled, unable to even think about turning to look at him. She was going to be sick.

"Don't…" he whispered, unable to find his voice. He felt sick to his stomach. His wife's voice echoed in his head as Olivia sat in front of him, naked. The sheet that she had us to cover her chest did little to hide her tanned bare back or long legs. He waited in silence as she sat with her back to him, not responding, barely moving.

What the hell had he done?

"Olivia?" he reached out for her again, stopping short of actually touching her. "Uh, I…" he stopped as she grabbed the bed sheet, wrapping it around her entire body, leaving Elliot's uncovered, and without looking back, she got up and walked to the bathroom. The door closed and Elliot was left alone in his partner's bed.

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Olivia closed her eyes, struggling to calm her fiercely beating heart. Every inch of skin that her partner had touched felt as though it was on fire.

Her partner. Ex Partner. Married Ex partner.

What had she done? After years and years of avoiding any touching, any lingering glances, anything that would have given her away or put her in a position that she may not have been able to get out of, she had fallen at the very last hurdle.

Olivia had promised herself that no matter what, no matter what happened she would never allow what she felt for Elliot to be anything other than that. She'd assured herself that she would never actively pursue him, knowing that he would never pursue anything with her. How could she have been so stupid.

His wife. Jesus, his wife had called as he had been about to… They had been about to do the unthinkable, and if it hadn't been for the sound of her voice they would have had sex… She crumbled, her back sliding down the wall, her legs closed tightly as she remembered his fingers inside of her just moments ago. She had promised herself… Her fingers traced her lips, where his lips had been just a few moments before. She couldn't stop the sob that ripped through her body as the reality of what had happened slowly sank in.

Elliot.

She had allowed him to touch her, she had asked him to stay with her knowing what would happen. He had cheated on his wife… She had helped him to cheat. She had, by asking him to stay, turned she and Elliot into the sorts of people they had always feared they could be. They had fought for so long, resisted and done the right thing, until now…

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After a shower she exited the bathroom with red, raw skin. She wanted to climb into bed and pretend it had never happened. Elliot would've been long gone by now. She just needed to change the sheets… How was she ever going to sleep in that bed again? How could she lie in a place that she had been intimate with him? How could she ever forget the hard chest that had pressed against hers? The soft lips that had kissed hers…

"Liv."

She jumped as she heard his voice, her hands clinging to the towel that was wrapped around her wet body. He stood outside her door, a look on his face that she had never seen before. He should have left…

"What...Why are you still here?" Olivia asked, turning away, her voice devoid of any emotion. She couldn't face him. She was absolutely mortified. She couldn't face him now, not ever. At least he was now fully clothed, she thought.

"We need to talk-"

"Your wife is looking for you and I-" as she spoke she reached for clothes, anything to cover her bare skin as he stood there, watching her. She refused to look at him.

"Don't do that." The anger in Elliot's voice was unmistakeable and for a moment she stood still.

"I need to put some clothes on…" she mumbled, pushing the door until it slowly closed in his face. She wished he had just gone and as her heart began to race, yet again, she wondered what he could possibly want to say. Perhaps he wanted to be sure that she wouldn't say anything? Her heart sank, of course that was what it was. He had a lot to lose; he wouldn't just walk out on her without double checking that she would keep her mouth shut.

EOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOE

Moments later she exited the bedroom wearing a t-shirt and sweat pants, her hair was still wet. She hadn't even thought about drying it, she just wanted this over and done with. Elliot was stood with his back to her, Olivia couldn't help but wonder if he'd just been stood, waiting for her to exit the shower, and then bedroom the whole time. She wasn't sure what she should do, perhaps apologise?

There were two options. They had already gone too far but she could push it just that little bit further, make it that little bit worse. What if she was to tell him how she felt? What if she was to justify what they had just done with her feelings? They had gone this far, she was just a few words away from him really knowing everything. Maybe it would make what they had just done less…dirty? Maybe if he knew that she had feelings that he wouldn't be disappointed in her for giving in? She could have laughed. Elliot had been very much a part of the cheating, but she couldn't help but feel like she was responsible, that he would somehow blame her? Maybe the fact that it wasn't just a quick fix,that she actually cared for him would make him less likely to hate her?

Then again, perhaps it would simply push them into the realm of no going back. And what if he didn't feel the same way? Olivia hated feeling so confused and Elliot's feelings for her confused her more than anything. She couldn't figure out where she stood with him, if he…cared for her like she did him or if he was simply acting on impulse? If he had confused himself into thinking that he loved her?

She knew one thing. She couldn't stand to listen to him explain what a mistake their actions had been. Her heart would slowly break if he told her how much he loved his wife, even though she knew that he did. She couldn't hear that what they had done, or nearly done, had just been an act of…comfort? They had been through a great trauma together and it was only natural that they would seek comfort in each other. Perhaps this was the case? Maybe if she told him this, and told him that she understood, he would spare her heart?

"Elliot…" she started, not meaning to sound half as scared as she had done. Olivia closed her eyes and clenched her fists. Now was the only time she had to protect herself, to save herself and to save Elliot too from what they had done. This time was crucial. She could tell him how she felt, how she felt about him but that would only send them even deeper into an already awful situation. If she wanted to save herself, to save them she had to swallow a big girl pill, swallow her feelings.

"I don't know what to say," his voice was no louder than a whisper. He stayed perfectly still, with his back to her. There was no doubting the pain in his voice. Olivia took a deep breath, this was it. She thought she had lost him before, but she knew, after this… He was too noble; he would hate himself too much. Elliot Stabler was a good man, a flawed man but a man with the best intentions, Olivia knew this. She knew that after this, he would never allow himself to be alone with her again.

"Uh," Olivia cleared her throat, trying to sound less afraid than she really was. "You don't have to say anything." She could do this, she could give him a way out. She wasn't sure if she could stand for him to turn to her and tell her that this was it, that he would have to go, for good. So instead she would do it herself, give him an easy out. "We uh, we made a mistake…" Olivia watched as Elliot's shoulders tensed. "We made a mistake," she repeated, willing her voice to hold out. "We…We've been to hell and back, which isn't an excuse, it's just… We turned to each other or comfort, it doesn't mean-"

"Liv," Elliot finally turned to face her, but couldn't meet her stare.

"I know, you should go…" She would not cry. She would not cry.

"I don't…" he shook his head, finally looking up and meeting her gaze. "I'm sorry…for what happened in there," he couldn't stand to even look towards the bedroom, her bedroom, the one place he had promised himself he would never end up.

He knew that she was giving him an easy out and he knew that he was a bastard because he was going to take it. They made a mistake, that's what she said, it was a mistake.

"Me too," Olivia nodded, swallowing the lump in her throat.

"I've never-"

"I know." Did he really think that she would think that he had cheated on his wife? That before this minute he had been anything other than completely faithful to his wife?

"What…what do we do now?" he asked, barely able to think straight. He had touched her, kissed her. He had been less than seconds away from having sex with her and now he didn't know what the hell he was supposed to do to make it right.

"We forget it," she offered, her heart sinking slightly as she saw what she could only describe as a look of relief spread across his face. "It was…" she stopped, shaking her head. "We need to…talk to Huang, really talk to him because we obviously haven't resolved anything about…how we feel about what happened." That's right, she really was standing there and lying to his face. The hadn't talked to Huang so instead they had ended up in bed together? "This can…never happen again," as she spoke Elliot nodded. "We should, probably just…take some time,"

"Yeah. I love my wi-"

Olivia held up her hands, unable to let him finish his sentence. "I know." She did know, of course she did but she didn't want to hear it, not after they had just…

"Are we okay?" Elliot asked, a pained expression on his face. He couldn't forget how her hands how had felt all over his body. He had wanted her for so long but he had never ever even thought about touching her. The undercover op had messed with his mind, that was the only possible option.

"We haven't been okay for a long time…and we probably just made it worse," Olivia sighed, wiping a hand across her face. How could they have been so stupid. She could still feel his lips on her skin, how would she ever sleep again? She would dream about his hands on her body for the rest of her life…

"I…" He couldn't argue with her. Things changed as soon as he'd left SVU. "Do you want me to go… to go back to Queens? To stop working at SVU?"

"Is that what you want?" Olivia couldn't help but feel torn. She knew that Elliot leaving would be the best option for them both, would prevent them from having to face each other after what had just happened, and stop it from ever happening again… But when she thought of him leaving, of not seeing him every day, again, the heavy feeling in her chest became almost too much to bear.

Elliot couldn't help but feel as though his heart was about to burst out of his chest. He didn't want to go, he didn't want to leave her, not again. A sudden urge to touch her, to stay with her, cling to her overwhelmed him and he stepped towards her. Olivia stepped back, her eyes wide as she wondered what he was doing.

"Tell me to stay with SVU…" he whispered, if she only said the word he would. They could work it out. He couldn't give up on her, not again. "Olivia," he called, waiting for her answer. Please, he silently begged, don't give up on me…

She shook her head slowly, unable to speak because if she had she would have told him to stay. She knew that if she asked him to stay he would, that he would try to do the 'right' thing but that wasn't what was best for him. Olivia didn't want Elliot to stay out of duty or confusion or anything else. She kept her mouth shut, her teeth grinding almost painfully as she forced herself to stay silent.

Within seconds he was gone.

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Olivia was exhausted. Not surprisingly she hadn't slept at all. She had found new covers for the bed but had, rather than actually change them, stayed on the sofa, unsure if she was ready to strip him from her life just yet.

Now, at her desk she was unsure if she would see him at all. If he would just go, call Cragen and tell him that he wasn't coming back or if he would come in, work a few more days?

Every time she thought about facing him her heart began to beat erratically.

"Mornin'" Elliot mumbled as he walked in, not quite sure if he should look at her or not. Maybe she wanted him to avoid her at all costs? He would follow her lead, despite wanting to pull her into an empty room and promise her that they could get through this…

His wife had questioned him, asked him where he'd been and he'd lied. His stomach churned as he told her that he'd fallen asleep in the crib and woken up only when his phone rang for the millionth time. She'd kissed him, told him that she loved him and went back to sleep. He lay awake all night.

"Hey," Olivia didn't look up from the case file that she must have been trying to read for an hour.

"You two look like you didn't sleep a wink," Munch told them as he sat at his desk. Olivia met Elliot's stare for just a second as a look of guilt spread across both of their faces.

"It's just this case," Elliot lied. Maybe it had started with the case but it had led to so much more. Last night he had chastised himself for not remembering that just a week okay Olivia had been sexually assaulted. He would never have...done what he'd done if he'd remembered.

"It's been a tough few weeks," Olivia mumbled, if only Munch knew the half of it.

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"How are you feeling?" Sam asked, softly. Her patient had been nothing but polite from the very moment he'd woken from his operation. They had removed the bullet from his side and he was going to make a full recovery.

"Good, thank you. Any news on when I'm getting out of here?"

"Well Phil, hopefully in the next few days. Do you have someone who can help you out at home?" she asked the man. He had explained that he'd been mugged and shot. The police had been to visit but he'd insisted that he couldn't remember who had attacked him, he had been attacked from behind. Sam couldn't imagine what he'd been through.

"Yeah, I have a friend who… Speak of the devil," Phil smiled as another man appeared in the doorway.

"Hi, I'm Kieran," the younger man held his hand out. "I hear you've been looking after my friend?" he smiled, looking the petite nurse up and down.

"Yep, and he's getting better every day. Excuse me just a moment," Sam walked out, trying to find an exact date of release for Phil.

"Did you get it?" Rogers asked, his tone changing as soon as Sam was out of sight.

"Got it without a problem, the door to the filing cupboard wasn't even locked. Olivia Benson." Kieran produced a folder from his backpack. "Date of Birth, place of work…" he stopped and looked up with a sadistic smile on his face. "Address."

"As soon as I get out of here, we're getting even."

I couldn't let them do it… Not after that call from Kathy. Don't hate me!

More coming soon! Thanks to all who have taken the time to read and to all who are about to review.