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Chapter Fifty-Two
When Esmerelda woke up the next morning, she turned over and saw her arm with small scars on from when she had scratched so much she made it bleed, the skin had started to heal over and the itching had gone down but the scars were still visuable.
Esmie sighed. She had a flashback of what had happened the day previously and was ashamed of herself for letting the scars happen in the first place, she honestly had not meant to make her arm bleed, it had just being itchy, but she would not deny she got a satisfaction from watching her arm bleed and she felt guilty.
Luckily it was easy to hide the scars. At Cackles, they were given the choice of long or short sleeve blouses and Esmie wore long sleeved ones, she had since her first day at the school, so her suddenly turning up that day in a long sleeve blouse would not appear out of place or like she was trying to hide something, she was grateful she had always wore them as no-one would notice the scars on her arm and she got dressed trying not to think about it. She had to act normal, she didn't want to alert anyone to something being wrong.
She left her room and went downstairs fore breakfast, glad most people left her alone, because she was not good at hiding things and she was worried she would end up blurting out what she had done if Lily was still here.
The burn still hurt but she tried not to think about it as she made her way to her lessons, she was still struggling to concentrate and she was feeling low, but she knew what she had done last night could not be repeated. It was to risky and she would end up getting caught if she was not careful and she did not want it to become a problem.
The only lesson the girl really had to worry about was PE, but thankfully she remembered that at the start of second year, after much demand, Miss Cackle had brought in long sleeved jumpers as part of the PE uniform, a lot of girls had said they were always freezing with the British weather and after Miss Drill complained she was fed up of the girls complaining about it the long sleeved jumpers had come in. At least no-one would see her arm, Esmie thought, because the students might not even notice but Miss Drill would.
Today they were doing cross country and Esmerelda was glad to be able to run by herself and clear her head, right now it felt very fogged up, she knew her mental state was getting worse and she had no idea how Ethel lived like this, it was draining and horrible.
"Esmerelda concentrate you are going the wrong way" Miss Drill shouted, sending the blonde out of her thoughts. She looked up and saw she was running of course and send a smile towards the woman slightly before running in the direction she was supposed to go.
After the lesson, Esmerelda and the rest of her classmates, entered the castle panting after they had just ran the cross country, it always left everyone very tired and the blonde was just glad that it was a free lesson next so she could have a break before History Of Magic.
Still not feeling great mentally, and the fresh air having of helped her in the past, she decided she wanted to go for a short walk, strictly speaking she was not supposed to leave the presence and she was not one to sneak out, but she was driving herself crazy and just needed to clear her head, therefore she left the castle and made sure Miss Drill was not outside before she left the school through the gate.
She walked through the woods, being careful not to go to far, not wanting to get lost. It was a breezy day but it was not that cold luckily, and the fresh air seemed to be doing her good because she felt less down, she knew if anyone knew she was here they would be angry, she was not supposed to be here.
She walked up a path and stopped as she suddenly realised she was in a tiny town. She had heard of it before, some of the girls in the school would sneak out and come here to get sweets, but Esmie had never come herself. It was so small the only places they had were a sweetshop and a pub so Esmie headed into the sweetshop, but not before magicking her uniform so that it disappared to black robes, she didn't want anyone to alert the school.
Never in all her life had she seen such a collection of sweets. She was never really allowed any when she was younger and now she was in a place that had sweets in every corner, it was no wonder that the girls liked to come here it was amazing. The girl was thankful she had a bit of money on her and she tried to decide what she should buy.
She decided on some chocolate cups. She was a much bigger chocolate fan than regular sweet fan so she scooped up a handful and put them in the container provided, wondering if she should get anything else.
She couldn't resist, gummy worms was one of her favourites, one of the few sweets she liked, and they had chocolate mice and love hearts. She was in heaven and in her element. She walked to the till, unable to stop smiling and gave the lady the sweets to scan, she asked for the money and the girl left, unable to wait to get back to school and eat them.
In fact, why should she wait? She asked herself as she started to head back to school. She could eat the sweets on the way home and with that she picked out a chocolate and put it in her mouth, sighing in enjoyment as the chocolaty taste entered her mouth.
Esmerelda ate more and more as she headed back to school, enjoying every sweet she put in her mouth, she was not one who was allowed much sugar, so now she had it she didn't want to stop eating. She sneaked back into the castle and to her bedroom, seeing she still had ten minutes until her next lesson started. She sat down, finishing the last of her sweets, wishing she had some more.
"That was amazing Morgana, I can't believe how many different options they have, I will need to go back again" Esmerelda said to her cat, stroking the animal when she suddenly felt a pain in her stomach.
"Uh-oh" Esmerelda said feeling very sick in that moment, she had heard it was bad to eat to many sweets as it could make you sick, but she had never experienced it. She sat on her bed, just needing to rest for a few minutes before she went to lesson.
Esmerelda woke up, and looked at the clock. She gasped as she realised she had slept through the rest of her lessons, and she looked at her bed, seeing the wrappers from the sweets she had scoffed down earlier and suddenly felt that pain in her stomach again.
"I shouldn't of ate them sweets" Esmerelda said, understanding now why some many people limited the amount they gave their children.
Morgana looked at her, wondering what was going on and Esmerelda sat down, wondering why she had being so stupid, she couldn't go to the nurse again, and she couldn't tell anyone as she would be in so much trouble for leaving the school.
"Miss Hardbroom is going to kill me for missing her lesson" Esmerelda said, knowing the woman was already not happy with her and she was going to be horrible now she slept through her lesson.
"Oww my stomach" Esmerelda said, feeling really sick, why did she think it was a good idea to eat so many sweets? She had always told her sisters not to eat to many or they would be sick, she hadn't listened to her own advise.
Suddenly the girl felt bile rise to her throat and she ran to the bathroom and threw up aggressively. She pinched her arm hard, telling herself she deserved it for her stupidity. She walked back to her room muttering to herself.
"You stupid" Esmerelda said as she scratched at her arm, wanting it to bleed again. She scratched and scratched until she finally pierced the ski, causing injury.