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Chapter 50: Mother and Son

To my dear Severus,

I'm sorry. I've wanted to say that for twenty years, since the day I left you with Tobias, since the day I died, but no matter how much I wanted to say it, I never could. Since the day you were born, all I ever wanted was to be there for you, to protect you, but I couldn't even do that when it came to the likes of Tobias. After my parents died, I was so alone and then I met Tobias and I thought he loved me and we got married and had you and that's when I told him about my magic, our magic. You know the laws about Muggles being told. It was only then I saw Tobias' true self, the hatred he felt about our magic, about anything he couldn't understand, and I know now, I should have taken you and ran. I should have used the Prince family fortune to take care of you and maybe then, I wouldn't have died, and you wouldn't resent me.

I was watching over you, when you were told about my death and when you came home, I was watching over you and I saw you screaming at the world, saying that you hated me and that I abandoned you. I guess I did because I should have fought harder to survive, I was just so tired that I couldn't fight Tobias anymore. I saw you push everyone away and consume yourself with the dark magic I taught you to protect yourself with and I hate myself that my death did that.

Don't mistake my words with hate for who you have become, I am proud of who you are. The youngest potions master in history, I am so proud. You didn't let the mistreatment of Tobias hold you back and followed your passion and I'm glad you didn't tell him about the key to the Prince vault I hid in your potions book, that money is yours and yours alone and I'm glad he never discovered it. I wish you could have followed your dreams of travelling the world, but I know about the promise you have made. I will not go into it, in case this letter falls into the wrong hands, but I know your place is not teaching students and it doesn't make you happy and I know that she would agree with me. You've sacrificed so much, my little prince, taking orders, hiding secrets, showing the world one person while hiding your true self. It should not be this way. You should be able to make your own choices, live your own life and not feel trapped in a castle where you were tormented in as a child.

There is so much to say but it seems I'm coming to the end of my parchment. Please come see me. I'll be in the middle courtyard at midnight, so no one sees us, I just want to see you again but if you decide not to, it's okay. Just know, I love you, I've loved you since the moment I held you in my arms and whatever you decide, I will always love you.

All my love,

Mum

Snape had placed the letter on his desk, hidden between two books after Dahlia left as the thought of a letter from his mother was far beyond belief. He tried to make himself believe Dahlia was lying, that it was a prank on the grease-bat potions professor, but it was his mother's writing. He would recognise it anywhere as he still had a few of her letters, the last letters, she sent to him while he was at Hogwarts before she died. Throughout the day, he pondered on the unopened envelope in his office all day, as he taught those no good, no talent, waste of space children where less than a handful even had an appreciation or talent for the art of potions.

When it came to lunch and dinner, he tried to avoid speaking to anyone which didn't make much of a change, but Dumbledore noticed when Madame Pomfrey spoke to Snape about a potion in the making that could help cure Dragon Pox twice as fast, Snape said very little before brushing her off whereas before he would be speaking with the mediwitch. She was after all knowledgeable in the art of potion making because of her job. However, his brushing off seemed to attract the attention of Dumbledore, and Snape could tell his eyes kept on glancing at him until he left the Great Hall and returned to his office for the rest of the evening.

It was when he got back to his office that Snape sat at his desk and held the envelope in his hands, contemplating what was inside. It took him almost an hour before he opened it and when he did, he instantly sighed and brushed a hand over his forehead as there were words written there and not a prank that said 'gotcha, you greasy bat'. It was his mother's writing and even her own nickname for him which only he knew. She called Tobias by his name and not dad or father as she knew he hated him being his father and would often call him Tobias when the man wasn't around to anger him.

When he finally read the letter, it was like everything around him had disappeared and he held his breath as he didn't want to miss a word but he read so quickly that he had to go back and reread certain parts of the letter. As he finished reading, he dropped the letter on his desk and sighed heavily as tears began to flow out of his eyes and down his cheeks. He wasn't the scary potions professor in that moment, it seemed all his emotions of him as a teen returned; the emotions of losing his mother without saying goodbye, without even knowing how she died, returned. If anyone, student or professor, was to enter his office in that moment, he would more than likely hex them and wouldn't care about the consequences, even if it was Dumbledore.

His mother was there, at the castle, well at the death camp exactly but she was on castle grounds. She was there, he could talk to her, ask her what really happened all those years ago but as he wiped his tears away and truly began to think about seeing his mother, the nerves kicked in. It was easy to say she was proud of him in a letter but face to face, looking at the dark man he had become, knowing about the mark on his arm, maybe she would rethink her letter and be disappointed and hate him.

These same thoughts are the same ones that passed through his head for almost five hours. The pros and cons of seeing her but he hadn't even made a decision when he looked to the clock on the wall to see it was midnight. His body began to move towards the door instinctively, not even deciding to see her, but he had convinced himself he would know when he got to the courtyard whether or not he should see her.

It was when he got to the entrance of said courtyard, however, that he hid towards the side of the door as he heard two feminine voices, both so very familiar to him that took him back to his childhood.

"What if he hates me? What if he doesn't show? What if he still blames me for everything?" It was the voice of his mother.

"Calm down, he's three minutes late that's all," said the calming voice of Violet Evans, "you told me yourself how big and complicated this castle is".

His mother began to breathe heavy and he could hear her as she said, "maybe this was a bad idea, maybe I should just wait until he dies, yeah…why do I feel like I'm having a panic attack?"

"Okay, you need to calm down, now. I didn't get a chance to say goodbye to Lily the first or second time because I was stupid enough to believe that I could always see her but look…she went to Valhalla and I'm living on what if's. War is happening here, you know that, so you don't know what's going to happen, especially if Severus insists on being a part of this war. Don't go back to Niflheim living on what if's".

Eileen sighed, "but what if he hates me?"

"Then you know. You've spent the last twenty years watching over him, wanting to speak to him, to tell him the truth, and now you have a chance. He's an adult now, his opinion probably won't be the same as when he was sixteen".

Eileen took a few deep breaths then said, "okay…how do I look?"

Violet laughed and said, "fine…like a mother who's nervous about seeing her son".

Snape then came around the doorway, believing that was the best time for him to enter as he thought it wrong to be eavesdropping on the pair and just like that, he froze to the spot seeing two people he never thought he would see again.

"Seven minutes late, Severus. Do we need to tell you what punctuality means?" Violet joked with a smile and Eileen smacked her arm and glared at her friend. Violet held up her hands and said, "alright I'm leaving. Have fun". She smiled at Severus before she walked out of the courtyard and back to the camp.

"Hello, Severus," said Eileen as she stayed in her spot very much like Snape, waiting for him to take the first step.

Snape stood still for a few moments before talking slow steps towards his mother. It was clear that she hadn't aged a day. She was never the most attractive person, even when she was at Hogwarts, she was still tall and thin, but in a way looked healthier at the same time. She didn't have messy and knotted hair through the years of it being pulled at and ripped out but it was down and flowed to her sides. She didn't look cross or sullen or sour but had a hint of a smile on her face and for the first time, Snape saw her without bruises or cuts or hunched over because her back hurt. Even with her blue tinted dead skin, she stood straight and had a hint of a smile on her face and a gleam in her eyes. She was happy.

He stopped when he was about ten feet away from her and said, "Mother…"

She wanted him to make the first move, but she also wanted to hold him and couldn't contain herself anymore, so she closed the gap quickly between them and wrapped her arms around her son. She may be tall, but he was taller, so she had to stand on her tip toes in order to rest her chin on his shoulder. It took him a few moments before he wrapped his own arms around his mother. "I missed you," she said.

"I missed you too," he said as if all the barriers regarding the horrid potions master fell. She then pulled away but stayed close enough to cup his face between her hands as she tried to memorise his every feature. "Mother, what happened?" her movements froze, and her smile faded slightly. "Tobias told me you died of an infection or something, he wouldn't answer me, and I couldn't find out the truth. What happened?"

Her hands fell from his face and she looked to the ground before she looked back up and smiled, "how about we walk and talk? I don't want you to get cold stood out here".

He gave her a slight nod and she linked her arm around his as they made their way back inside. She knew she needed to tell him, so she didn't wait and couldn't stand the silence of his unanswered question.

"It was an infection," she said, and Snape looked to her as they walked, "but it wasn't what Tobias told you. He was out late one night, I was cleaning the house before he got home but I got a phone call from Joshua, the bartender at the pub. Well Tobias had taken the truck, he would never listen when I told him not to drive that thing, especially drinking, but I'm sure you remember how he was. Anyway, he refused to leave the truck and said he wanted to drive it home, but he was so far out of it, Joshua took his keys off of him and called me. I came and got the keys and when we got into the truck, I thought Tobias would just pass out until we got home but…he didn't".

Snape placed his other hand over his mother's that was linked to his and gave her a comforting squeeze which she smiled at.

"Anyway, while I was driving back home, he got angry that I was driving the truck and said that he could do it. He began to fight me at the wheel and we were driving past the park and I couldn't stop him. We hit the curb and the wheel flew off and we crashed into a fallen tree and," her left hand went to her stomach and she paused a second as Severus looked down and she continued, "a piece of a branch went into my stomach and I passed out. I woke up in a Muggle hospital a few days later, Tobias by my side acting like the devoted and worried husband. I spent a week in hospital and they sent me home stitched up and on antibiotics for any infection but-"

"Muggle medicine doesn't always work," Snape interrupted, already knowing where it was going.

"Exactly," Eileen said, "I got an infection and my stitches broke more than once and Tobias wouldn't let me go to St. Mungo's or call for help. All the letters I sent to you, he would read them beforehand in case I asked you for help. He may have been an abusive bastard, but even he knew how talented you were at potions. Still are. He snapped my wand and I was too weak to fight him and I guess the infection just got the better of me and I died…I don't know really what happened after that. I just remember the afterlife, meeting Death and then going to Niflheim. I can't remember how long it was, but I had to go through induction before I could get a looking glass to look in on you. After that, I think I watched you for weeks to make sure you were okay".

She smiled at him and leaned against him for a moment before he said, "meeting Death? Niflheim? Induction? Even with that god being here, its…"

"Confusing," Eileen said and let off a small laugh, "I know. It's hard to understand but it becomes your normal when you die. Seeing people from other realms, them being your neighbours is the normal. It's hard to explain when you haven't been there, but I guess it relieved some weight. Gave me a new start, but I could never let you go. Most people only check their looking glass every once in a while, when they've been gone as long as I have, but I couldn't let you go. I checked in on you every day".

They stopped walking and Eileen unhooked her arm from Snape's and turned to her side, as did he so they stood in front of one another.

"I'm so proud of you," she said smiling brightly.

Snape looked down in regret and said, "you clearly don't know everything I've done".

She raised her hand and tilted his chin up and said, "I know more than you think-"

"I had him killed," Snape interrupted, "Tobias. I was so angry then when they were recruiting me for…" he couldn't say it, "they heard I was good at potions, the Dark Lord heard it and they wanted me to join them. I was so angry at him that when they asked if there was anything they could do for me, I told them his name".

"You don't have to say anymore," Eileen said as she reached for his hand and held it in hers and kissed it, "I know, I watched it all. After everything he did to us, I'm not surprised. No one blames you for it. He's on Niflheim suffering for what he did".

"He's there with you," Snape snapped, not meaning to but not wanting his mother near his childhood monster.

"No, no," she said quickly as he tried to move his hand out of hers, "he's in a different place to me. He's in Mareritt, it's in the south and boarded off from the rest of us. It's a place where those who have done wrong suffer. I live in Lykke, where everyone is happy. The Queen has a thing about children so after what he did to you, Tobias got a long sentence there. It'll be another three years before he can even apply for freedom from there but even then, everything is decided by the Queen and the Council, so he may remain there…the laws are different, I am no longer his wife, I no longer go by the name Snape, I'm Eileen Prince again. Even if he becomes free, he wouldn't dare come near me".

"Hell…"

"Yes, that's what some people call Mareritt. It translates to nightmare in English and everyone's experience there is different".

They then heard the sounds of footsteps and giggling so Snape took a step away from his mother and looked down the hall to see a group of sixth years sneaking around. Snape put a finger to his lips to tell his mother to be quiet and they approached quickly but quietly. The six students jumped when they saw Snape and he barked, "One hundred points from Gryffindor and Ravenclaw and detention with Filch tomorrow. BACK TO YOUR TOWERS!".

The students quickly turned and ran back in the direction of the stairs leading to the towers but not before they saw Eileen and they all froze for a moment before one of them, a Ravenclaw boy, tapped them on their shoulders and nudged them in the direction of the stairs. Snape could hear them questioning who the woman was and why she was with him and Snape knew that with big mouths like the Gryffindors and Ravenclaws who loved to gossip, it wouldn't be long before both houses knew about his mother. Not long after that, so would the other two houses and if his Slytherins knew better and feared him, they'd know better than to add to the gossip.

He felt a hand on his right arm and looked to see his mother smiling at him as she said, "they're just children. You can't tell me you and Lily never sneaked out of your dorms at night to work on some potion you created and don't lie to me, you used to sneak out of the house and get the Knight Bus to Diagon Alley".

While his mother smiled at the memories of her young son and his best friend, Snape showed no emotion, even in front of his mother, as the memories of Lily and the times they had together were clouded in his betrayal.

Eileen sensed this and moved her hand down his arm to link her fingers with his and said, "how about we go to your office? You can show me what you're working on".

He gave her a nod and they both began to walk towards the dungeons. They woke a few portraits along the way by accident and it seemed that the closer they got to the dungeon, more portraits were awake. Snape knew instantly that the portraits were gossiping and waking the others to actually see someone of the dead as many portraits hadn't yet and only heard what the students and professors had said around them.

When they got to the dungeon stairs, Eileen smiled as she looked around as she remembered when she was a Slytherin student and all the fun she had at Hogwarts. It was when they got to the bottom of the stairs and rounded the corner did they see someone they very much wished they didn't walking towards them. With his long white beard, twinkling blue eyes, half-moon spectacles and colourful crimson red robes, it seemed that Dumbledore had been waiting outside of Snape's office to speak to him, clearly believing that would be where Snape would be at that time of night.

"Ah, Severus," Dumbledore said, his eyes twinkling under the candlelight hallway. The three of them stopped when they were ten feet from one another, Dumbledore clearly surprised with the guest while Snape wanted to keep her a secret until he could find out more answers to his questions. "Mrs Snape, I was not expecting you," Dumbledore said as he looked between mother and son.

"It's Prince," Eileen pointed out and she almost glared at the headmaster.

"Forgive an old man," Dumbledore said with a small smile, "if memory serves me, you were especially adept at potions and charms when you were a student here, and who can forget Gobstones. You were captain, I don't believe we've had a good game in many years".

"That was a long time ago," Eileen said simply as she knew that behind the blue-eyed twinkling man was a manipulative man who would kill a child. "If you'd excuse us-"

Dumbledore interrupted, "I must say, Severus, you seemed awfully distracted at dinner. I feared something was wrong-"

Eileen couldn't help but scoff and said, "like him being under the Cruciatus Curse spying for you". Both men looked at her, one in surprise and one in shame. "Yes, I know. We have a way of seeing our loved ones on Niflheim".

"Ms Prince-" Dumbledore started but she wouldn't let him finish.

"Don't," she snapped, "when you die, you find out a lot more than what most living people won't want you to. You are just a man who once craved power so much that he lost someone he loved because of it," he looked shocked and horrified, "yes, she and your parents are on Niflheim. Most people move on and learn from their mistakes, but it seems like you keep making them and you seem to attract dark wizards and help in their creation, even if it was unintentional. But even now, you have a dark wizard you helped into the making which you can't control, and you send others to suffer…my son," she gestured to Severus, "does not deserve to be trapped by you using his best friend's death against him or the fate of Azkaban if he doesn't follow your orders. In the end, it's you that's using men, women and children, for crying out loud, to get what you want. If I was you, I would strongly consider changing your ways because at the end of the day, if you don't go to Valhalla it will be your soul that's judged on not just the actions you do, but what you force others to do. You're already in a bad place for your plan on killing Dahlia…now, excuse us".

Eileen grabbed Severus' hand and pulled him away from the headmaster and towards his office. It was when she opened the door and all but pushed her son in, did she look back to Dumbledore to see that he hadn't moved and was looking at her. She entered the room and almost slammed the door behind her, as if that would stop him from entering.

Eileen kept her hand on the door for a moment as she took a deep breath before she turned around and smiled, "so, what're you working on?"

Snape stood in front of the table in the centre of the room that he used for potion making but he stood frozen and looked at his mother as if uncovering some element of truth. He finally said, "what do you mean his plan to kill Dahlia?"

Eileen shrugged and said, "it doesn't mat-"

"It does," he interrupted, "almost fifteen years I've worked here, to make sure she is safe. Now you're telling me the man whose orders I've been following has been working against that".

Eileen sighed as she knew her son wasn't going to drop the subject, so she gestured to a stool, but he refused to sit and stayed stood where he was. She smiled slightly and said, "I don't know everything, just what Violet has told me. That all this time, it was a manipulation game that he has been playing. Leaving Dahlia outside of the magical world growing up so she would know very little when she entered it, so she would seek guidance, specifically his with his grandfather routine he does on students. The tasks in first year very easily overcome by a group of eleven-year olds. Her friends are an odd mix. A pureblood Weasley whose family is light and would follow Dumbledore in war, even if he isn't Dahlia's friend anymore, she has still been influenced by Ron and still has the twins. Their influence would make Dahlia trust him. A smart Muggle-born to help her in her challenges who would also influence her in Muggle-borns being allowed in the magical community. Rowena and Godric haven't stopped arguing when it comes to that girl as Rowena is adamant the girl should be a Ravenclaw but they created the hat to see beyond what they see and that's Godric's argument. Of course, Dahlia's own sorting is involved too…she was originally meant to be a Slytherin".

Snape's mouth dropped open slightly in disbelief.

Eileen laughed, "yes. But of course, meeting Ron earlier that day, he had already filled her head with rubbish about Slytherins being evil. From what Violet said, Dahlia told her that she had to almost beg the hat to put her somewhere else and in her second year, the hat continued and said she would have done well in Slytherin…Dumbledore is a Legilimens, it wouldn't be hard to influence the hat to put all three of them in the same house".

He was surprised but said, "what does that have to do with her being killed?"

Eileen shook her head slightly as she walked towards him and stood within reach, "I don't know. Perhaps it has something to do with the prophecy, but Violet was distraught when she told me. She said that Dahlia believed she has to die for Voldemort to die and that it was Dumbledore's plan to make her feel isolated all these years, so she would one day become a sacrificial lamb…she was quite angry and almost stormed up to this castle to make sure Dumbledore knew what Dahlia's family thought of that".

Snape almost laughed at the thought of an angry Mrs Evans doing that and he knew if it happened, it would be really amusing.

"She's your goddaughter, did she tell you?" Eileen asked.

He looked away from his mother and said, "she's not".

"She is. You know you would have said yes if Lily had come to you. I saw her, on Niflheim, she was so happy whenever she was there, she didn't have to pretend she was in a relationship with that Potter boy. She could be herself. She missed you though, she told me what happened, and she regretted never having spoken to you, to tell you that she forgave you. Not just for calling her that word but for Voldemort about the prophecy".

He flinched slightly at the name, "don't say that name".

"It's just a name. She wrote you letters, complaining about being married, finally having seen that the boy she dated for a short time was exactly the man you thought he was. Letters about the plan using James as a cover and how she wished she could tell you about Loki. She always had faith that you didn't go dark and even after she found out about the prophecy, she kept that faith. Lily would have died, even if you didn't tell him the prophecy, Peter would have told him…don't blame yourself. A piece of Lily is still here, she lives on in Dahlia". Eileen then glanced behind him to see the two vials that Dahlia had given him earlier that day and said, "that was her idea, the potions for the mark and Crucio, she's a good girl".

Eileen reached for his left arm and Snape tried to move it away quickly but failed. She held on tight as she began to roll up his sleeve, even with his plea of "mother, don't".

When the dark mark was revealed to her, she brushed the tips of her fingers over it and said, "he gives this mark to his followers to taint them and their magic in the most twisted way. So even if he isn't there, he still has control over them". She leaned up to kiss his cheek and said, "you've risen above his control, you're a better man than you give yourself credit for. You have a way out, please my little prince, take it".

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