Frankie lay stretched out on the settee, the curtains drawn, a small table lamp the only source of light in the room. She had been sent home two hours ago to get some rest, something she was failing miserable at. She had taken a shower, changed in too pyjamas, and even had something to eat that constituted of more than a pre packed sandwich and a packet of crisps. She was tired, actually she was passed tired, but she couldn't sleep no matter how hard she tried.
She looked down at her abdomen as she felt the familiar flutter that was now becoming part of her everyday routine. She smiled as she felt it continue, moving her pyjama top up and pushing her shorts down just enough to uncover her now very obvious baby bump.
"Hey little one." Placing her hands either side of her bump as the tiny movements continued.
It had felt very strange when she realised what the odd sensation was. She had noticed the fluttering, butterfly sensations about a week before but hadn't attributed them to the baby moving. It wasn't until she was sitting with Grace talking and she felt them again that she worked it out, or Grace had. When they started she had went quite, her focus completely on the odd sensation. Grace noticed instantly, coming to sit beside her as she looked at her.
"Is the baby moving?" Grace seeming to instantly know what Frankie was feeling.
Frankie looked down at her bump, then up to Grace, the comprehension suddenly dawning on her.
"I never thought about the baby moving. I just, my god, that's weird." The fluttering continuing as she sat awestruck.
"It's a beautiful thing, feeling your unborn child moving inside you. The connection that only you alone have." Graces words making Frankie well up with tears.
"Christ, Grace, don't get all deep on me." Wiping at her eyes as a few tears slipped past her defences.
"I'm sorry, Frankie." Reaching on the table to pull a hankie from the box for Frankie to wipe her eyes.
"Bloody hormones. I've never cried as much in my whole life as I've cried these past few weeks. Anything and everything seems to set me off." Dabbing at her eyes to dry them.
"I remember that feeling. But them hormones are helping to do amazing things, create an amazing thing, create a life." Giving Frankie a hug as they both smiled.
"Grace, remember when we worked on the Mcteer case?" Looking at Grace as she asked the question.
"God, how could I not. What makes you bring that up now?" Turning more in her seat so she could look at Frankie properly.
"Remember when we went to Boyds house for the files, and Jen was in." Pausing as the memories of that day flooded her mind.
Grace didn't answer, just nodded her head, letting Frankie work through whatever she was thinking, whatever she was trying to say.
"Jen told us she was pregnant, that she hadn't told Boyd. I don't get it, I don't understand why." Again slipping into silence as she tried to order her thoughts. "When I realised I was pregnant, the first person I wanted to tell was Boyd. The first person I did tell was Boyd. He's the father, he had every right to know first. Anything to do with the baby I share with him first. I want him to be part of it all, be there for it all. How could she keep it from him? How could she tell complete strangers first?" Her hand instinctively resting on her bump as she talked.
"Frankie, you have to understand, back then, Jen was in a very different position to you. Her and Peter were going through a rough patch, then he just disappeared. After he left she found the letter meant for you, the one asking you to leave it all behind and move away to be with him." Stopping as she registered the shocked look on Frankie's face. "Peter told me about it when he got back, asked me question, about Jen, about you. I told him what I knew, what I felt comfortable sharing. I think for Jen it was a release, sharing it with someone, anyone. She knew we had to be close to Peter to be doing what we were doing. I think by telling us she was seeking sort of redemption for not telling him. I'm surprised they lasted so long after Matt was born, the cracks were there before he was even born. Frankie, whatever happened back then, it's ancient history. Peter loves you, both of you. He's made his peace with that part of his past, you need to as well." Hoping her words would help put Frankie's mind at rest.
When Frankie looked up she was crying, silent tears running down her cheeks. Graces mothering instinct kicked in as she wrapped Frankie up in her arms, just like that night during the Mcteer case in her spare room when Frankie woke sobbing for her nightmare.
"I wish your dad could feel this." Frankie whispered, her fingers stroking over her bump.
The baby continued to move around for several more minutes, the movements getting less and less until they stopped. She yawned, her eyes growing heavy as she tried to keep them fixed on her bump. In the end she stopped fighting, letting them stay closed as the past few days of now stop work caught up with her. When she woke she was covered in a throw, the room still cast in darkness with the only light coming from the lamp. She looked around, trying to find the person who had covered her over. Seeing she was alone she sat up and let the throw fall away, pulling her pyjama top down and her shorts back up. She looked at her watch and saw it was just after two in the morning, four hours after she had been sent home.
Standing up she made her way through the house, checking the kitchen, bathroom and study before heading to their bedroom. The bedside lamp was on, giving the room a soft yellow glow. There tucked up in bed was Boyd, his floppy grey hair partly covering his face. She yawned as she crawled in beside him, spooning up to him as he wrapped an arm over her waist, his hand slipping under her top seeking out the swell of her abdomen.
"Why didn't you wake me?" Trying to ask Boyd a question but not being able to stop herself yawning.
"You were sound asleep, and you need your rest." Nuzzling her neck as she got comfortable.
Frankie was just starting to fall asleep again when she felt the fluttering startup, a sure sign the baby was moving around. She smiled knowing she could tune in and out as the baby moved knowing what the sensation was now.
"Frankie, you awake?" She heard Boyd ask, his voice sounding a little concerned.
"Mhhhh, just." She mumbled into her pillow as she felt his hand move slightly across her bump.
"Can you feel that?" His hand seeming to move as the baby moved.
She froze, feeling his hand move again.
"You can feel that too?" Frankie whispered, placing her hand gently on top of his.
"Just, ever so faintly." His fingers spreading out so he covered move of her bump.
"I've been able to feel it for a few days now, it seems to get stronger every time." Her voice thick of emotion as she spoke.
"I can't believe I can feel that." The awe in his voice as he felt the baby moving.
"I wasn't sure you'd be able to, that's why I just waited." Turning her head so she could see him better.
"That's amazing." Kissing her nose as she looked at him.
"It is. Now go back to sleep, we both need it." Getting herself comfortable again as Boyd continued to stroke his fingers over her bump.
"Night, Frankie." He whispered against her neck, kissing her just below her ear.
"Night, Boyd." Yawning as she closed her eyes.
They were both asleep in minutes, the baby still shifting around in Frankie womb for a few more minutes before joining both its parents in slumber.