Toad in the Whoa Zone
Part 3: The Dress
Created: 5/30/17 -6/6/17
Disclaimer: Mario and co. belong to Nintendo
Content warning: Mild references.
As Toad walked, something was irritating him slightly and it was coming from his back. After ignoring it forever, Toad finally resorted to dropping and rolling around in the sand to relive it. He was now dirty all over again, but he felt better, and laying in the sandy imprint of his body was a feather...
Toad picked it up and stared at the incongruous object in a mesmerizing fashion.
"Did this travel back with me? No, we used it. If that really happened. Did it? I'm crazy. It's confirmed, so much that I see a-"
In the distance was a crystal clear pool of water. Toad rushed to the oasis, proving its validity. He crouched down at the edge to peer at his reflection. His dirty, completely exhausted, and holding the impossible feather reflection. He noticed his cap looking nice and vibrant though.. In fact the normally bright red spots seemed to look pink in the water's reflection.
The longer he stared at the water, the more inviting the shallow pool seemed. Just a quick swim wouldn't hurt, he reasoned. What else was a wandering madman to do? Also he could see a round dark object of some sort about five feet down at the bottom of the pool. Toad dipped his hand in the water, observing the ripple. The water was cool, but not uncomfortably so. The force that drove his curiosity to the previous door to nowhere returned. He had to swim. Not only that, he had to see what was at the bottom.
Hypnotically, Toad sat the feather down, took off his shoes and jumped in. He blissfully swam circles in the small pool and built up speed quickly.
"Wow, I didn't know I was this good a swimmer!" Toad said to himself. "…...Wait, I can't stop!"
Toad realized that he was being spun around by a whirlpool. Water incidentally entered his mouth as Toad spun around and around, screaming and unable to fight the current. In a matter of seconds, he was sucked into the center funnel. Toad held his breath and closed his eyes as he was flushed down. The water suddenly seemed hot, but something else was strange. Water wasn't entering his nose or ears. It was almost like the hot water was just pouring on his head. In fact, he didn't feel water anywhere else except on his head.
"I hope that dress is dry-clean!" a young man teased.
Toad opened his eyes and clean white bathroom tiles filled his vision. He looked up to see the that source of the hot water was a shower pouring down on him. He jumped up in quick reflex and heard laughter from three people.
"What the-?!" Toad covered his mouth. What was wrong with his voice?
A woman burst into the bathroom. "Leave her alone!"
She fearlessly marched in the face of the guy that had teased Toad while the other two people stood back embarrassingly. The bully towered over the woman with a brown buzz cut, and a yellow and orange letterman jacket with a big white and yellow flower varsity emblem the back. His jeans were blue and he wore athletic shoes.
"Daisy, quit it! Toad is new here, and this the first thing you do?" Her voice was high pitched, but authoritative. The short and stout woman also had brown hair but long and pulled into a ponytail under her red hat with a 'M' emblem on it. She wore a red shirt and blue overalls and her shoes were plain brown boots.
"WAIT A MINUTE!?" Toad blurted out.
The woman cut off the shower. "Yeah, I know," she said sympathetically, "FungusUp can be hard to get out of a dress, but jumping in the shower isn't the best way to get it out. Come on. Daisy, Luigi, and Toadette won't do anything to you."
A dress. Toad was wearing a dress. A pink one.
"I'm a girl?!"
Mario laughed. "Uh, yeah?"
Daisy started to slowly back up. "I'll just be getting back to the party..."
Mario turned to him sharply. "No! Jeez, you think cause you're the prince of Sarasaland you can get away with frat antics? You all need to apologize with the way you've clearly traumatized Toad!"
Toad stepped out of the shower stall, soaking wet. "Where am I? Who am I? Who are you?"
Mario shook her head. "Trauma induced amnesia…"
Daisy held his hands up in distress. "Yo! I'm sorry...I didn't know we scared you that badly!"
"I'm sorry too. And sorry sister.." Luigi muttered. The brunette looked like Mario, but taller and with a green shirt and hat, and a blue denim skirt instead of overalls. Her shoes were brown cowboy style boots.
"Uh, what Daisy said!" Toadette added. He looked like a typical red capped Toad, but with a two ponytails. His pink shirt said 'I'm man enough to wear pink'.
Mario pointed to the door. "Daisy and Toadette, get out! And I WILL report this."
"You're such a tattle tell!" Daisy huffed. Toadette nodded as the men exited, leaving Luigi to sulk guiltily.
Mario turned to her and sighed. "And I can't believe this from you, sis. Daisy and Toadette are such a bad influence..."
"Anyone gonna explain?" Toad asked, now shivering a bit.
"Oh, right! Sorry, I'm sure there's something for you change to." Mario motioned out of the door, letting Luigi leave first. Toad followed out feeling anything but completely normal.
Aside from the very obvious thing that was different about this world, Toad also didn't recognize where he, or she was. Luigi went to the right, while Mario led Toad left, down a tiled corridor with a high ceiling that was decorated with Victorian artwork. The white walls however were sparely decorated with a painting every ten or so feet. This was clearly a nice place, if not a little drab, Toad thought, but whose? Surely it wasn't-
"So, we're a motley crew. Just stay clear of the 'hotshots' and you'll enjoy it." Mario spoke leading the way. "And you're not from around here, right? You must have lots of experiences!"
Toad cleared 'his' throat a few times. "You can say that's true. Like, you have no idea, I'm really really NOT from around here."
The large room they soon entered had a reception of some sort going on. Up against the walls were small tables holding various foods, some with drinks, others silver pots with lids on them. In the center there was a single long table draped in a white lacy tablecloth. It stretched almost from one end of the room to the other. Only a couple of people still sat down, and a few more were standing around. Toad servants entered and exited the southern doors taking in dirty plates.
Recognition of the layout struck Toad. Five windows to each side? Three glass chandeliers? A stairway in the north corner?
This was Peach's Castle.
"There you are," a tall young man said to Mario and Toad. He wore a pink tailored jacket with darker pink pants. His shoes were shiny and black. Resting on his blonde medium length hair was a small golden crown with red and blue jewels. Lastly he had a thin trimmed mustache. "I was wondering where you disappeared."
Toad pointed to him. "No way! You're Princess Peach?"
Peach furrowed his eyebrows. "Prince Peach... I know I'm not a'jock' like Daisy, but you can at least show some respect- Especially if you're my newest servant from Neo Bowser City!"
"Oh, that's where you're from?" Mario asked eagerly. "You must be tough to have lived there as a Toad, and a dangerous-"
"Mushroom?"
Mario smiled sweetly. "I was gonna say 'street driver', because...oh that's stereotyping. Never mind." Toad was that too, so fair enough.
"Miss, what happened?" Peach asked, observing the drips that were falling off of Toad onto the carpet.
Mario's smile disappeared. "More practical joking from your cousin, and his sidekick Toadette."
Peach frowned. "We know how wild Daisy is, but Toadette doesn't present himself as castle material, does he? He's barely even in uniform, but hopefully things will change with our new hires." Peach clapped and an elderly brown spotted Toad wearing a purple flowing dress came near. She used a wooden cane designed with a mushroom at the top and wore a red ribbon around her neck, neatly tied.
"Yes, my prince?"
"Escort Toad to the servant quarters, please. She needs a change." Peach glanced at his gold watch. "Mario? It's go time.."
Mario rolled her eyes. "Fine, my prince." Her and Peach started to walk away towards the stairs. "It's not even a big deal, I mean gosh! I do heroing stuff all of the time..." Mario said as their voices faded from the distance.
Toadsworth gasped once she got close to Toad. "My goodness, you are soaked!" she exclaimed with a British accent. "You will have to excuse me, dear. I lost my spectacles the other day so I did not notice at first. I also have no idea why you were accepted on the day of Mario's appreciation ceremony! You will understand in the future, but things get very rambunctious around here when we have special events!"
Toad nodded.
"Indeed, dear. I heard from Prince Peach that the moment you arrived with your application, they dragged you to this very dining room to start handling food. The audacity! You could have been a spy or such, being from Neo Bowser city! But all is well, dear. Your background record checked out so we know you are not a scoundrel!" She laughed quietly at her non-joke. Toad didn't see much difference at all with this Toadsworth, so why was everyone else, sans maybe Mario and Peach, so unrecognizable in this world?
Toadsworth led Toad down to the lowest floor where staff traditionally slept and kelp their belongings. She was showing off different things on the way there, but all Toad could think about was how plain the castle looked. The only décor was often just paintings on the walls, contrasting the castle he knew where you could find anything from statues, to exotic plants, to indoor water fountains. Finally, they entered a room Toad already knew as the storeroom for extra clothes.
"Here we go!" Toadsworth opened a drawer and pulled out a pink folded clothing article. "One female Toad garment!"
Toad stared at it for a moment. "Excuse me, but what about the male Toad garments?"
Toadsworth wagged her finger. "I know down in Neo Bowser City they are...a bit adventurous, but we are very traditional here. Female servants wear the female uniform."
Toad slowly accepted the dress. "..So we're not allowed to wear pants?"
Toadsworth chucked. "You can express yourself however you desire, just when you are off duty! I have shown you the changing room, so I will see you again outside, dear. Mario will give her speech in a few minutes and you really should see her! Farewell!" Toadsworth left Toad to 'his' own devices.
Toad figured there was nothing to do but play along for now. In the brightly lit dressing room, Toad saw 'his' reflection for the first time. 'His' face was the same, but his spots were pink. The dress he wore currently reminded him of what Toadette, his Toadette, wore and the fresh one he held was the same. Toad changed into the dress and promptly headed back upstairs. Muscle memory lead Toad out of the castle in a minute.
Outside, in the open field area to the side of the castle was a stage set up. Ribbons and balloons were tied to the fencing and people were seated in the white plastic chairs that were set up in rows in front of the stage. Toad's mind immediately went to the fact that his Peach would never settle for such a cheap looking party. There would be a giant cake for one. Secondly, plastic lawn chairs? Was Prince Peach that bad at decorating?
"So, for the forty-secondth time, my kingdom and I declare Mario Mario hero of the year!" Peach announced through the mic.
"That many times?" Toad thought. No way...unless these are multi annual. Wow, 'rambunctious' indeed...
On cue, Mario stepped on stage. Toad was about to set near the stage since that's where the most space was, but hesitated when at the sight of the bullies from before. Daisy sat in the middle of the front row, slouching and Toadette was still beside him like a magnet. Luigi was on the other side of Daisy hugging up. Toad decided set in the edge chair, away from everyone.
"Thanks! I uh-" Mario paused as a gold ribbon was thrown around her neck by Peach, "I appreciate it a lot, guys. I appreciate it as much as I did the other forty-first times!" Mario added with a hint of mischief. She discreetly walked off stage as everyone cheered and sat next to Toad.
Peach stepped back up and as he did so, late arrivals started to show. Now most of the seats in the back rows were filled. "I hope you all enjoyed the meal and association. Before we close, would anyone like to express anything about how much we owe our gratitude to Mario?"
Daisy stood up."Yo! We don't always agree, but Mario is a real pal. I'll always respect a woman who single handedly take on a space alien army!"
Luigi timidly stood up as everyone clapped. "And uh...I know I disappoint my sister sometimes but, I just want to say that she is the bravest, nicest, heroine ever!" Mario waved to Luigi, who waved back.
"Ooh ooh! Me next! Me next! I have something to say!" A girlish voice from the back piped up.
Peach tilted his head to try to see who was speaking. "Yes? Why don't you come up?"
After a moment of waiting, a little koopa girl with a spiked shell, red tank top, and red hair in two pigtails hopped on stage and got before the microphone before anyone could react.
"Bowser Junior?!" Mario gasped.
"Too late, Mario!" She pulled off the handkerchief she wore to reveal a toothy grin. "Now I got something to say!"
The audience gasped as Mario hopped on stage, getting between Junior and Peach.
"Back off from the prince!" Mario warned. Peach silently stood behind Mario, trying to hide his obvious fear of the little koopa girl. Toad couldn't help but smile at how comical this very familiar scenario now seemed with the role reversal going on.
Junior stomped her feet. "Hey, no fair! I was supposed to grab him and run!"
Mario pointed to the hills. "The only place you need to run is there! Call your mother off, I know that wicked koopa woman is around somewhere!"
"Nuh-uh!" Junior threw a temper tantrum, making Mario sigh.
"This is ridiculous. Weegee, help us out."
"Right, sis!" Luigi hopped on stage and easily restrained Junior. When she did so, the audience started booing for some reason.
Mario looked to Peach slyly. "Well that was easy..."
"Oh, of course. Thank you yet again, Mario." Prince Peach had a poker face, but he couldn't hide his blush at the look Mario game him.
"Don't mention it, Prince! This days events have been crazy enough. We don't need Bowser minions driving us dizzy as well."
"Yo! I'm Daisy!" Daisy shouted. "Someone called me, right?"
Mario face palmed. "...Daisy can be so annoying."
"Yo. I heard that!"
"Don't say that!" Luigi huffed.
Mario put her hands on her hips. "You just like how he's tall, dark and handsome!"
"Girls. Please," Peach muttered.
"Booooooo!" the audience roared louder. Toad looked back to see that those booing were koopas! The Toads that previously occupied chairs were running around aimlessly in the background or absent completely.
"Let the Koopa speak!" they cheered.
Mario gasped, just now paying attention to the audience. "Oh no! A flash koopa's rights activist protest!"
Peach's fists balled up. "Of all of the times... Get rid of them."
Mario shook her head. "We have to reason with them. After all, they do have a point with the koopas rights, you'd have to admit."
"But how can we reason with koopas when we stomp on them for a living?" Luigi asked frankly.
"Yo. Good point!" Daisy came up behind Luigi and hugged her.
Toadette jumped on stage next to Daisy, confirming his magnetism. "...I don't have anything to say. I just wanted to come up here…"
Junior jerked away from Luigi. "I don't know what you smelly adults are talking about but I'm just doing what I was told! Incite a riot based on injustice or whatever that means!"
Toad jumped on stage, sensing how things were about to go.
Mario turned to Toad. "Hey, smart idea! You're from Koopa City, so you can appeal to them without culture appropriating."
"Me?!" Toad gasped. "But I'm-"
"The new chick. I get that, but I trust you. I don't know why, but I do. It's like we're best buds in another world or something..."
One Hammer Bro stood up. "And you'd better have a good explanation or we WILL revolt against the Mushroom Kingdom!"
"So they can get violent, but we can't?!" Toadette complained.
Mario slapped Toadette. "Hurry Toad!"
Daisy gave Toad two thumbs up. "Yo. No pressure, except it all kind of rests on you, so don't fail us all!" Mario was right. Daisy was annoying.
"Can I give a speech about something I know nothing about?" Toad thought. "Eh, actually yeah. What do I have to lose talking to a group of strangers? Time to be a dangerous mushroom again -Or a peaceful one rather…"
Toad approached the mic with Mario, Luigi, Peach, Daisy, Toadette, and Junior standing back a bit. Toad took a deep breath. "So like-"
"Everyone!" Toadsworth ran down from the castle. She bypassed the audience and stopped in front of the stage, breathing heavily.
"Toadsworth?" Peach asked.
"Help help! The Koopas have invited themselves here! We can't let the dirty scoundrels in the presence of our dear-"
"Toadsworth!" Mario did a 'zip it' gesture.
"...You do not say that those ravenous koopas are seated right behind me, do you?"
"RIOT!" came from the crowd. Daisy immediately sprung into action doing karate on the koopas. Shells knocked about everywhere, as koopas, paratroopas, and hammer bros flailed around. Toadette did the same keeping up with his taller more muscular friend. Plastic chairs were turned, ribbons went flying, and balloons were set free.
"WE WILL SOLVE THIS PEACEFULLY OR ELSE!" Toad screamed into the mic, making everyone stop and look. Toad cleared his throat. "Okay, so everyone knows I'm new by now. My world is completely different. I'm completely different. Still, I know that where ever you are from, friendship can..prevail? No, that's not it...There's no 'I' in team...No, if we work together we can solve world hunger, or something, so what do you say?"
The hammer brother stood up again. "What is that Toad girl talking about?! Fight some more!"
Toad stage dived off stage into the fray and went Smash Brothers melee, maybe even brawl but probably not four on the koopas. Well, that joke made sense in Toad's head for the first two seconds at least. Soon the not so peaceful Koopas had fled and Junior tagged along with them. The party area was ruined, but there would be no revolt. Toad stood on a pile of broken and upturned chairs triumphantly as the sun started to set. The end of the day was drawing near, and he felt the cool wind blowing his...dress.
Oh yeah, the dress.
"The last one running off, sis," Luigi announced after scanning the horizon. She turned to Toad. "That was cool back there. It was almost like Smash Brothers Melee!"
"Uh huh!" Mario pulled Toad close. "If we were in a multiplayer game, and we needed a fourth player, I would choose you in a heart beat. Too bad we haven't had one of those in forever!"
"...What year is it?" Toad asked.
"2001."
A gender-swapped world that was almost two decades in the past? Clearly the alternate universe lottery had been won, Toad thought sarcastically.
Later Peach, Mario and Toad stood on the bridge leading to the castle. "Are you ready to live in my castle, fight our battles, and most likely get kidnapped with me?" Peach asked. He and Mario looked to Toad patiently.
Toad gave it serious deliberation. If he had a way out, it would have surely made itself known by now. And this world, while slightly uncomfortable for obvious reasons, wasn't that bad. But still, as he understood it, he was absent from his own world.
"I guess can live with you guys for now, but you'd better let me wear pants! I can't stay here forever though. It's not that I don't enjoy the privilege of royal castle service or anything, in fact, that's what I already do-"
"You've worked in a castle before? It didn't say that on your resume!" Peach said with sudden suspicion.
"Let me explain. I don't know exactly how it all happened, but I've been trapped in this dimensional void called the Whoa Zone for who knows how long. First I got warped to some evil empire world, and now I'm here."
"Really? How did you get out?" Mario asked credulously.
"I only escaped the last one because I was driving in this fast car and-"
"Yo! Someone say, fast car?" Daisy had just exited the castle with Luigi nearby.
Mario crossed her arms."Oh there he goes again! Always talking about his loud fast cars and-"
Toad jumped. "Wait, that's it! Daisy, take me for a ride!"
Luigi put her hands on her hips. "Excuse me?"
"I just want his fast car! It IS fast, right?"
"Course it is!" Daisy pointed to an old muscle car with giant wheels and lots of shiny chrome parked on the opposite side castle lawn. In the darkness, it's bright yellow paint job made it almost glow.
"Great. I need you to drive with me in the car and we need to hit like, 88 mph so I can warp to another dimension. How does that sound?"
"What?!" said Mario, Peach, and Luigi.
"Sounds EXTREME! I'm in!" Daisy high-fived Toad.
Luigi stepped up with sudden assertiveness. "Only if I go with you two!"
Toad frowned. "Again, I'm gonna-"
"No, I'm not jealous. I just think that sounds fun!" Luigi jumped up and down.
"That's right, babe," Daisy and Luigi kissed and ran down to the car, hand in hand.
Toad then knew what this Luigi saw in this Daisy. Luigi was quiet, safe, content. Daisy was...actually still kind of annoying. He didn't know where his mind was going with that.
"Guess this is a good-bye already," Toad said to Mario and Peach.
Mario gave Toad a hug. "Guess so. You know us, but we hardly knew you. I know you're a good person with good friends where ever you're from, and we'll miss you."
Peach gave Toad a handshake and threw ribbon around 'his' neck. "I agree with Mario. Please keep that medal, miss, or sir. Continue being 'dangerous' where ever your journey takes you...I buy these in bulk, but don't mention it to anyone," he whispered at the end.
Toad gave them one last look and ran off.
Soon Mario and Peach watched the vehicle disappear down the road somberly.
Mario shook her head. "You realize that we just sent away the best mushroom retainer we've seen in years, right?"
Peach put his arm around her. "I know. Now all we have is...ugh. Toadette again…Where is he anyway?"
Daisy speed down the road with loud rock music playing and smoke pouring out of the back of the car. Luigi was in the passenger seat and she had her hat off and the window down so the wind could blow her hair. The road they were on was curvy, so Toad was being swung around a lot in the back seat. By glancing through the windows they seemed to be on a bumpy mountain road.
"Your car okay?!" Toad shouted. When neither Daisy nor Luigi answered, Toad leaned back. While the outside of the car looked well preserved for its age, the interior was ratty at best. The front bucket seats Daisy and Luigi sat in looked new, but the backseat was in total disrepair. On both sides of Toad was a gaping opening to the trunk, as the backseats for those spots were missing completely.
"They make me sick, like that.." Toadette muttered.
"Yeah, it's annoying, but I can't bite the hand that's getting me out of this wor- Hey!"
Toadette emerged from the darkness of the trunk on the right side of Toad. "Shh!"
"What are you-?!"
"I'm Daisy's biggest fan. I need to be here, right now..." Toadette groaned.
"And I thought I was crazy! What are trying to do here?"
"Daisy will have to see that- Ooof!" A corner they turned sent Toadette flying back into the trunk. Toad reached up and tapped Daisy's shoulder.
"Yo! What up? We're at...actually my speedometer is broke, but we're high tailing it with the way I can barely make these corners!"
"Noooo! Toadette is in here and is trying to-"
"What? I can't hear you!"
Toadette appeared again holding a Starman. Toad slapped it out of his hands.
"What are you thinking?! Stop!" Toad hit Toadette and soon the two were in a scuffle in the back seat. Luigi looked back.
"Hey!" she gasped. "What's going on?"
Daisy looked back. "Yo! Toadette, what are you doing hitchhiking like this?"
"Daisy!" Toad shouted, "Forget me, look at the road!"
"What?" Daisy asked, still looking back.
"The road! Look at the-"
Boom! The car shot off the road and tumbled down hill. Toad was knocked back into the trunk and could see nothing. Then he heard screaming as water started to fill the car. Toad held his breath again but the carpet of the back seat now seemed gritty, sandy even, but still damp. All was silent, was he now underwater?
Toad waddled around face down in the mud before jolting up. The medal was around his neck still, but the area he was in was a marsh, about the size of the oasis before. Toad stood up and screamed.
Author note: I was originally going to use gender-bent names for everyone, but half way though, I realized that for maximum Twilight Zone effect, I'd stick to the originals. Remember that this is from Toad's perspective, so obviously he's going to see everyone as the way he knows them. (That and I couldn't come up with satisfactory names for everyone.)
2. Not every alternate universe will be 'dark' in some way.
3. Rating change because the topic of mental health will be brought up, and being in different realities will start to mess with Toad a bit, especially in upcoming chapters.