Toad in the Whoa Zone
Part 4: 'Strung along'
Toad woke up in his own bed at eight in the morning. His throat was scratchy and he felt like he'd been hit by a car but he was undeniably where he belonged… in a closet down in the basement. Toad never had a proper bedroom since he jumped on board at Peach's Castle before those pesky laws forced dedicated servant rooming, but he was a-okay with that. No room meant nothing to clean, plus no room mates to annoy when sneaking Peach's PlayStation 3 and TV in there at night.
Toad leaned up and stretched his arms, knocking one hand into an object framed on his wall. It was a long white and brown feather in glass frame with a gold medal beside it marked 'Made in Chai Kingdom' in small letters. A rush memories from these objects struck him, making his heart beat rapidly.
"Attention staff," spoke Toadsworth through an intercom. "Breakfast will NOT be at eight-fifteen. Thank you!"
Toad slipped out of his room, stepping over the really tall empty picture frame he hung outside his door, and rush to the first person he saw, Toadette.
"What's happened? A Bowser attack?"
Toadette giggled at his disheveled appearance. "Yes. Everyone is completely abnormal right now and not going according to plan. Life is terrible. You're looking great though!"
Toad stopped panting. "Thanks I think? You look great too.."
Toadette huffed and pushed him back, making him fall backwards downstairs. "I was just trying to be nice, gosh!"
Toad rolled to a stop on his now bruised back. "… You have a weird way of showing it babe.."
When Toad reach the kitchen anyway the castle's breakfast session was going on as normal. Peach's long table had all of the toads at it, Toadette, Toadsworth, yellow and blue toad, plus some others with the princess herself at the farthest end. Clearly someone had lied to him and Toad marched right up to the culprit chowing down on pancakes.
"Miss Toadette," he said sternly. "Bowser ain't around is he?"
She spun around in annoyance. "Umm. He totally is."
Toad's chest tightened up again with anxiety. Was he now in an opposite day universe? What if time wasn't progressing anymore? Was his life was doomed to this forever?
Peach's hands covered his mouth. "Someone help him!"
"Me! Me!" Blue toad, or Buckenberry grab Toad into a choke hold. "Okay now breathe!" he said, beating Toad in the back every time. It was.. not helping at all!
Toad pulled away from him. "Don't touch me! None of you are real!"
"You know, that's what Shy Guy was saying," muttered the yellow toad, Alagold. He was saying this to the other side of the long table where the toads were eating breakfast and ignoring Toad's panic attack.
Toadsworth smacked Alagold's hand with a spoon. "Do not compare Toad to that delinquent whose dissociation was caused by bootleg mushroom usage."
"Who made you an expert?" reply the front door guard toad, Thomas.
"Yeah, you can't believe everything that fake KitsuneNews says," Toadette added.
"Miss Toadette, do not start your ramblings either. After all, you are an infant hater, nary a position to take superiority. Now get over here for your punishment." Toadsworth held the silver spoon ready while Toadette dragged her feet walking around the table to his side, however Toad sprung up and stopped her.
"Homegirl. You slipped up," he said innocently. "Don't you mean 'you CAN believe that news station'?"
Toad sighed. "Crap! Guys I screwed up!"
Collectively the entire table groaned at Toadette as the door bell rung.
"With that performance dear, you had better be glad our guest has arrived already," Peach said unimpressively. "Someone get that door and do not 'slip up' again."
"So this was all a prank?" Toad eyed everyone suspiciously. "Right… Umm, I knew that but I must have forgotten with everything being perfectly not normal with me."
"Yeah, like that" Buckenberry whispered dumbly. "You're great at this opposite game- I mean terrible at it."
Thomas came back into the dining room with their guest rolling in a second later. "Where is the Bowser attack?" Mario their hero ask right away.
"Right here, plumber!" growled someone in the kitchen. Stomping out the doors was Bowser. He'd gotten in the castle already, somehow causing everyone at the table to scramble.
"Mario, help!" cry Peach, who was stuck in a corner opposite of the menace.
Mario charged forward fists balled but Bowser turn just in time for Mario to collide with his spiked shell and get flung backwards. It was a solid impact but Mario was somehow uninjured. Toad could have also sworn Bowser's horns were shifted crooked from the jolt but what did he know? He was currently clinging to the high chandelier and about to wet himself.
Mario got up and ran around Bowser quicker than he could rotate to block the punch to his face. Mario's fist sunk in the soft material and when he pulled back, pieces of Bowser's 'face' were stuck to his glove. It took a second to register but when it did, Mario fell backwards from the shock.
"Momma mia!"
"Taste it, Mario," Bowser said without moving his mouth.
"Please do!" Peach encouraged with an entirely different and placid demeanor.
Mario shrugged and took a lick from his finger. "Mmm… buttercream. Is this a new facial mask for you or something, Bowser?"
"Nope. It's your cake, hehe." Bowser took off his own head and held it, revealing Boo on top of the neck. "Happy Spaghetti Day!" The toads came out of hiding and crowded around, echoing the announcement.
Mario did a double take. "What?"
Peach gently lay a fake string pasta necklace over his head. "For you, dear!"
Mario blushed. "You shouldn't of have, princess."
At that moment Toad slipped and fell from the ceiling onto his butt. "Ouch! What the heck is going on again?" He then nearly got trampled by a number of chefs marching out of the kitchen with sliver platters and plates. The smell of Italian food was in the air and a banner had even materialized on the wall, 'Happy Spaghetti Day – Jan 4'. At least to Toad that confirmed that time was still moving. He hadn't missed a day in his life in reality.
"I spent all day on that wearable Bowser cake," Peach spoke as the new dishes were being placed down.
Mario pulled her in for a hug. "I never knew this was a holiday. I also never new I'd be tasting my rival. Too bad Luigi is still away."
"We'll save him some." Toadette held utensils in both hands, hungry again even right after breakfast. Toadsworth gave her a look and she quickly tied a white napkin around her neck. That finally gained the elder's approval.
As the food was brought out, Boo bashfully approached Peach. "P-princess? Before I leave I was just wondering if maybe there was a large gold picture frame left here? I got it from King Boo at a grave yard sale but he wants it back. Badly. H-he's tearing about the entire Boo Mansion over it and he's actually waiting outside the castle right now."
Peach's smile faded. "I haven't a clue and he's just outside?! Everyone panic for real this time!"
Everyone ran around screaming once more, except for Mario who sat now at the table alone eating. The lights in the castle went out as Boos began to phase through the walls. Cackling they swarm around scaring the living daylights out of nearly everyone… except a 'Dangerous Mushroom!'
Boo was petrified in once place until Toad approached. "Follow me."
He lead Boo downstairs to his room, otherwise known as the broom closet. As an ill advised attempt to decorate, Toad had the empty frame posted over the door and to enter the room, one had to walk through it. In Toad's defense he was trying to be avant garde.
Boo's eyes lit up and they bounced up and down. "Y-you found it! Thank you! King Boo would have killed me because it's a portal like.."
"What Bowser did to this place in the nineties," Toad continued. His palm hit his face yet at the same time the pressure in his chest finally faded away knowing this nightmare was truly over.
…
Peach shook Mario who lay face first on the table. His girth was that of five Marios and all the silver platters laid out were wiped clean. It really was a good thing no one skipped breakfast.
"I got this." Buckenberry step forward and tried to push Mario out the chair. Instead Mario's body ended up rolling on top of him, squishing him except for his head. "Ahhhg! I mean.. I still got this guys!"
Peach sighed as she called a professional moving company on the phone. "I do wonder where Toad is."
"Or Master Boo," Toadsworth added. "I do hope the chap did not run off with those other boos. Hey!" He smack Toadette on the hand again as she was reaching for a single spaghetti left on a plate. Toadette would whine the rest of the day and wouldn't even be able to blame Toad somehow because they wouldn't see him again for a week!
...
Toad was at the beach of Isle Delfino sipping on fruit drinks, soaking up the sun's rays, being half dressed, and not stepping through empty portraits. Glancing to the side he saw a familiar face.
Luigi waved. "A vacation here is a good idea after dealing with those parallel universes."
Toad slid down his sunglasses. "How'd you know?"
Luigi spread out his blanket on the sand. "That post traumatic look first of all, second I'm the reason it got 'accidentally' given away during King Boo's yard sale. My mansion is next door after all." He sat down on the blanket and pulled out sunscreen from his bag. "Oh well, it's been destroyed now, right?"
Toad slowly slid the shades back up and just tried to take in the tranquility of the tropical resort. Maybe life wasn't entirely perfect still, but nothing said he couldn't ignore it until returning home.
THE END
Author notes: This conclusion isn't nearly as grand as I probably imagined two years ago but this idea of mine didn't deserve to be abandoned forever so I had to do something. Thanks for reading! You might notice, I've done so many more stories since 2017 that I put a few references in. They are below:
-The setting is the same as in Mario and Bowser: Frenemies Forever. So is that Shy Guy part.
-Boo Mansion is from The Spooky Speedster's Quest for 'It'.
-Peach owning a PS3 is from Mario and Luigi enter the Wiivolution. So is bootleg mushrooms.
-Toadette hating babies is from my Chemistry series.
Created: 2/21/19