Hey guys just so you know your reviews are what motivate me to write the new chapters ASAP! Ha ha ha ha. Enjoy this chapter! And once again thank you for your kind support! Have fun.
I woke screaming into my pillow yet again. It seems like I was trying to muffle the sounds of my screams subconsciously now. I moaned as I got out of bed, I pulled on a pair of black sweatpants and my paramore t-shirt (A.N – I love paramore, they're just awesome),grabbed some clean underwear, my toiletries and a towel and headed down the hall to the bathroom for a shower. Half an hour later I had finished in the shower and already back in my bedroom. I picked up my black My Chemical Romance zip up hoodie (A.N – I also love My Chemical Romance, fav album ever is the Black Parade album)and put it on along with my E necklace. Urgh, I have such a massive hang over my head is pounding and my mouth feels like cotton wool. I don't remember how I got home. How drunk did I get last night?! I decided to check my journal to see what I wrote. Normally I wouldn't check my journal unless I had gotten so drunk or high that I couldn't remember anything that had happened. This is due to the fact that I never want to relieve any of my memories, well if I don't have to anyway. The last thing I remember is having a few drinks in this shady bar with Jake. I may not remember much but I have this feeling that we had a good time. That I had enjoyed myself for once.
De Dary,
SWET HME ALBMA! Lol! Ematt called me Bellsy! I miss hen he used to call me tat all the time. He's weally tall now when did that happen?! Anyways… YAY I met a new end, it's a gay named Jacob Black. I call him Jake. His my new dg dler. I found out that I'm such a good friend because he was drunk and all. So I sid in my supieory voice that friends don't let friends drive drunk. I drove us all the way home. I flet so alive for the frist time in a while.
Sgined from, the not durnk Blla.
OMG was I really that drunk last night. What happened to make Emmett call me Bellsy again? Fuck me I must've done the saying the alphabet backwards thing to try to prove that I wasn't drunk. Why on earth did I write Sweet home Alabama? What could it mean? Oh no Emmett's probably gonna try and do some crappy intervention thing like they do on Dr. Phil. I hope he doesn't attempt to it will just end in embarrassment and humiliation. I grabbed Jake's business card and called the number on it. He picked up not long after I dialled.
"Who's this?" He asked sleepily.
"It's Bella" I said feeling just as tired as he sounded.
"Bells!" Jacob screamed sounding excited on the phone.
"Jakey" I said with mock enthusiasm.
"I have a really bad hang over" Jacob groaned.
"Same here. It sucks." I said grumpily.
"I know this is gonna sound random and stuff. But do you remember anything about Sweet Home Alabama?" I asked. Jacob burst out laughing down the phone.
"What is it?" I asked, wondering whether he had lost it.
"I do remember us singing that loudly. We were really drunk and did you know that you can say the alphabet backwards whilst pissed as fuck. You have got to teach me that sometime." Jacob said. I could hear the smile in his voice. I felt mortified, why do I always do embarrassing shit like that while I'm drunk? Am I ever gonna learn to not be an embarrassment?
"Where are you?" I asked.
"I'm in my car, which is outside this huge house. I'm parked right next to this shitty old red truck." Jacob answered.
"No bloody way, you're parked outside the house I'm living in! Don't hate on the truck." I exclaimed. Jacob laughed at me.
"Sweet, I'm coming to the door." He replied still laughing. I felt so pumped knowing that my baby, my gorgeous red truck was outside. Yes that meant no more subway. Woop Woop! I ran out of the room and bumped into someone who had obviously just come out of the shower. Just before I hit the ground the person grabbed me. I opened my eyes to find that it was a shirtless Edward, wrapped in only a towel around his waist that I had bumped into. Why is it that when ever I see him, he is always shirtless?
"Watch where you're going, jerk!" I said. It took every once of my control to push myself away from him. But I did even though I wish I could stay there in his arms. I ran downstairs and swung open the front door.
"Jake!" I screamed. I was so happy to see him, at first it looked like he was going to hug me, but I turned away before he could. I don't feel ready yet for anyone to touch me whether it was just a friendly hug.
"Wait here for a minute. I'll be back in a sec just got to get something and by something I mean I need to get high." I whispered the last part and Jacob nodded. So I went upstairs, crushed a few of the oxycontin pills and swallowed them. I cut myself to release all of the emotional pain I had built up over the past day or so. I wrapped it in a bandage and walked downstairs. As I reached the bottom step I was surprised to see Rosalie was talking to Jake.
"You know she's a walking STD so I would advise you to stay away from her." I overheard Rosalie telling Jake. Oh fuck no bitch. I won't let you disrespect me to my friends.
"Shut the fuck up. What the hell blondie?" I yelled at Rosalie. That good for nothing bleached blonde whore thought I was gonna let her walk all over me. Disrespecting me to everyone, not gonna fucking happen. "You wanna fight? Bring it!" I challenged her.
"I was explaining to this nice little friend of yours here. All about your backstabbing sluttish past. How you didn't care who you slept with. Even if it was your best friends boyfriend and that you cheated on your boyfriend at the time. I didn't want him to be surprised if you slept with him tonight and in the morning him waking up with an STD. Because we all know you are just that a walking, talking STD." She said in a bitchy tone, she smirked like I couldn't do anything. All I wanted to do at that moment was wipe it off her face with my fist. Just as I went to punch her in the face, I had already extended my arm back, Jake grabbed my hand. Stopping me. I gave him a look that read what the fuck but then he smiled at me. I looked back at Rosalie she looked scared. Good! She should be.
"Lets go Bells before she says something that pisses me off to punch her for you." Jacob said grinning he then practically dragged me out of the room into the kitchen. "Besides no point doing her a favour by making her look prettier" he stated.
"Sorry about that. I should have brought you with me so you didn't have to listen to that. I've made some huge mistakes but they were all in the past." I said whilst looking down at the floor.
"If you hadn't gone to punch her. I would've I was seriously close to punching that bitch in the face myself. It was your attempt to do that, that stopped me. I almost didn't stop you but I thought she would have your ass thrown in jail." Jacob told me, he was so fucking understanding.
"Holy fucking Sherlock." Jacob yelled and I laughed at him then asked him what he was yelling about.
"You have an indoor heated pool and a Jacuzzi" Jacob exclaimed in excitement.
"I do?" I asked, puzzled I then turned around to look at what Jacob was staring at. Through the glass door there was a pool, an indoor pool. An actual indoor pool. Fucking Ace! We scrambled through the door where a blast of warmth hit us.
"This is so fucking awesome" I said, looking at the pool, surprisingly Jacob picked me up bridal style. I began to panic at his touch, but I tried not to show it. He won't hurt me, I chanted to myself, attempting to calm myself down.
"Into the pool you go." Jake said wearing an evil smile on his face. He threw me in! As I emerged from the water I laughed.
"Revenge time, Jake your turn" I said before tackling him into the pool.
"You should be in the NFL. You're so strong" Jake joked. I laughed, "well 7 months worth of self defence classes helps". After about an hour in the pool, we clambered out and dried off with a pair of towels. I waved Jake bye as he left. As I turned around to enter the living room, I saw everyone on the couch waiting for me.
"Hello?" I said questioning. Everyone carried on staring at me. Rosalie looked directly at me, her eyes a bloodshot red like she'd been crying.
"What's your problem Bella? I get off the phone with Renee and she barely talks to me because she was crying so hard about you running away. But she did mention something about not knowing where you were and that you're apparently on suicide watch I think is what she mentioned it was hard to work it out through all the sobbing. And then Rosalie tells us that you went to hit her." Emmett said.
"Yeah I don't have a problem well , no, I am actually depressed that I didn't get to punch her in the face." I said laughing.
"This isn't a joke" Emmett said.
"Neither was what I said about being upset I didn't get to hit her. Em she deserved it, after she called me a walking STD" I shouted at him. Alice started laughing.
"What? It's true, you've obviously slept around with a bunch of people." Alice said in Rosalie's defence. Rosalie gave her a high-five and everyone started half laughing about the comment. It felt like someone had winded me. I stood there speechless.
"Fuck you all. Fuck this life." I said to them before running out of the house to my truck. I noticed that there was a note on the dashboard. I gasped when I read it. I would recognise the hand writing anywhere. It said "I'm coming for you Bella, not now but I will eventually." I began hyperventilating after reading it. I couldn't stop the tears that started flowing, even if I tried. I turned the key in the engine and drove off. I kept on driving whilst crying. I turned on the radio to see if that would help. A minute or two later they began to play the song Welcome to my life by simple plan as I started to listen to the lyrics. I came to the realization that the lyrics basically told my life story. I related to them so much.
(A.N: The lyrics in bold are Bella's thoughts)
Do you ever feel like breaking down? Yes all of the time
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you who could understand what I've been through
Do you ever wanna run away? I have 3 times
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming Good idea no more screaming into pillows
No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me
To be hurt I hurt emotionally all of the time
To feel lost I don't know what to do
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down Kicked when I'm down yea after the worst thing that happened in my life 'the incident' all of my friends and brother abandoned me at my time of need
To feel like you've been pushed around Pushed around more like punched around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you No one cares about me enough to save me from Phil
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
Do you wanna be somebody else? I want to be the old Bella
Are you sick of feeling so left out? Left out more like shunned
Are you desperate to find something more?
Before your life is over
Are you stuck inside a world you hate? I hate being called a slut
Are you sick of everyone around? Yes
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding This line relates to my life so much
No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
No one ever lied straight to your face Phil lied to me when he said that we were just getting a gift for Rosalie
No one ever stabbed you in the back All of my friends left me alone talk about stabbing someone in the back
You might think I'm happy but I'm not gonna be okay Happy?! I'm nothing near happy
Everybody always gave you what you wanted
Never had to work it was always there
You don't know what it's like, what it's like
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like (what it's like)
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life it sucks.
I had to pull my car over because I was crying that hard. I reached for my journal and wrote
Dear Diary,
Rosalie and Alice called me a walking STD. I want to punch Rose but was stopped by Jake. He also gave me a compliment, well sort of. He told me I should be in the NFL for my mad tackling skills. I relate so much to the song Welcome To My Life by Simple Plan. 'No one knows what its like to be me. To be kicked when I'm down. 'But I'm just going to let fate take its course. I can't be bothered anymore.
Signed from the NFL and walking STD Bella.
I had decided to let fate take its course. So as I drove back on to the road. I shut my eyes as tight as I could and stomped my foot on the gas hard.
DA DA DAAA I thought this chapter needed a little dramatic music so anyways Review!