Hello, I hope you all enjoyed the last update. I would like to say well done to anyone who correctly guessed which film and character that I borrowed the quote from. Enjoy this chapter! And Review!

I woke screaming into the pillow and I could hear several other people screaming along with me. I opened my eyes and glanced up as Emmett flicked the lights back on before pausing their movie.

"Fuck me" I said aloud I had forgotten that I had stayed on the couch and was not in my bedroom. Everyone turned to stare at me, searching my face for an answer. I chose to ignore them and glanced at my phone hoping for a distraction. Everyone was still looking at me, waiting for an answer. It was late, I doubled checked the day and found out that I had slept solidly for 24 hours. It was the next night. Fucking hell I had been on the couch for 24 hours and no one had wondered what was wrong stupid drugs knocking me out for so long! Fucking messing my sleeping habits up. I looked at the tv screen to find out what they were watching, they had been watching Paranormal activity. No wonder they screamed, when I woke up screaming. I must have startled them. Oh well, who cares. They can get over it.

"What the hell was that for Bella?" Emmett asked as though I had deliberately woken up screaming. He had interrupted me from my thoughts. I ignored him and stood up from the couch, but I immediately fell back down wincing. Guess I wasn't ready to stand up then huh I swore under my breath. I looked round the room waiting for some snide comment to be thrown my way. I glanced at Edward and his bitch, Tanya; of course they were sitting on the love seat together. However I did notice that Edward looked slightly worried but as I continued to stare at him he put on a poker face, masking the concern held in his eyes. Was he worried about me? I questioned myself. It can't be. He wouldn't, would he? I think he was hoping that Tanya hadn't noticed his concern but it seemed that she had, because she looked between Edward and I, then turned and began to kiss him furiously. Like a "reminder" to me that he was hers now, and Edward would never be mine again. I stood up abruptly because I would rather be in pain, than stay in the same room and watch them make-out. I walked into the kitchen and threw the once frozen but now watery peas into the trash can. There was a knock at the front door, hopefully it would be Jake.

I was about to answer the door but Jasper beat me to it. I looked to see who was at the door and saw that it was the police officer Joe. Shit, the one and only, the exact same Joe that I had kicked in the balls. The same Joe that had tazered me.

"Is an Isabella Swan here?" the officer asked Jasper.

"Wait here. I'll go see if she's here" Jasper said to Joe. Fuck me can I get any worse luck. I mimed to Jasper to tell him that I was out and wouldn't be back for a while. "You're in luck she's here, she said to tell you she will be here in a minute she was just finishing up on the phone." Jasper said in as cheery a voice as he could manage. I groaned before leaving the kitchen and walking to the door. Jasper leant down and whispered in my ear. "That's what you get when you mess with me and my girl." How fucking childish could he be I wanted to stick my tongue out at him in retaliation but I would drop myself down to his childish level. So I guess commenting on how childish that was would make me a bit of a hypocrite.

"Hey Joe. What can I do for you?" I asked hoping he would get right to the point. I didn't want to hang around. "Sign here." Joe told me pointing to the dotted line on the paper. He handed me the paper attached to a clip board so that I could sign it. The paper was just a form that basically told me that they had taken the drugs out of my truck and were now returning the truck back to me. Blah blah blah blah blah.

"Here's your keys" Joe sneered as he handed me my keys to my truck. I saw my truck was sitting in the driveway like it should have been all along. I closed the door behind me. I was going to do the best thing that I could do at the time I was gonna go and get drunk.

12 hours later…

I awoke in a drunken haze. Fog filled the inside of my truck, urgh I was still in my truck, I was parked outside the house, and hopefully there wouldn't be any more confrontations. I checked in my journal to see if I had written anything about what had happened but when I looked the page was blank. Fuck I must have been really drunk if I hadn't written down anything in my journal. According to the clock on the dash board it was almost 9:30 in the morning. I climbed out of the truck and went into the house. I went upstairs to take a shower and just when I was getting ready to climb in the shower I found something shocking. I had a white bandage covering something that was positioned, just above the waist of my jeans, on my left side, just below the left side of my belly button.

After I had finished in the shower, I decided I would have a look at what was under the bandage. I took off the bandage, I was so curious to see what was hidden underneath it, I gasped when I noticed that I had a tattoo underneath the bandage, it was a medium size tattoo, in black cursive writing. That read Flying high is flying free with an image of two hands holding a butterfly with the words caging the butterfly in. Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck! How stupid am I?! How stupid could I be to get a tattoo? With those words none the less! It was almost like I was publicly announcing that I was dirty little drug user. I mean I know I am but no one else needs to know. I put on my last pair of clean dark blue skinny jeans with a black tee shirt. I then grabbed my comfiest hoodie which was a grey zip up hoodie. I grabbed up the E necklace and tucked it into my hoodie pocket. I had decided I was going to give it back to Edward and if he didn't want it then I would pawn it, to pay for the replacement drugs. I grabbed my phone and put a reminder to pick up some washing detergent as I had run out of most of my black coloured clothes as they were dirty.

Note to self: go shopping, do the laundry, pick up more drugs and get the tattoo removed. Hopefully it won't hurt too much. Wait a minute, doesn't it hurt like a 1000 times more than it does just getting the tattoo. So how do I get it removed with as little a pain as possible, oh I know I could get drunk again, and then get the tattoo removed, genius! On the plus side my side no longer hurt from the taser, yay! I went downstairs and began to pour some cereal into a bowl. I saw Tanya, Rosalie, and Alice, they were laughing way too loud. It was the kind of laugh that people use when they try to make someone see what they're missing. As though they were trying to show me how much I was missing out on. All of a sudden they became quiet and then glared at me, they whispered and laughed at whatever their mean joke was about before looking over their shoulders at me, and of course me being me I turned and flipped them off. They all looked away until Rosalie said loud enough for me to hear her. "I knew she was a slut, but still I can't believe that she got knocked up at 18!" They laughed, I stopped pouring the cereal, my heart shattered again as my whole body tensed up. How?! How did they find out? The only people that knew were; Renee, Phil, Charlie, and Emmett. Emmett! Realization slapped me hard in the face. That – that – that jackass. I am pissed off! No I'm beyond pissed off. I stormed upstairs and started looking in all the rooms for Emmett. When I find him, he will wish he had never been born, I am that furious with him. I opened the door next to mine. It was Edward's room! Sitting there on the bed were Jasper, Edward, and Emmett playing video games. I rushed in furious, I looked around the room and saw sitting on Edwards dresser were XL condoms, ugh he has such a huge ego. Pretending he needs that size condom when he probably only needs small. (A.N: hahahahahahhahahahahahhahaha)

"Emmett" I yelled but he ignored me acting like I wasn't even there. "Emmett" I yelled with more force but he still wouldn't budge. So I grabbed the remote and turned off the TV and threw it at Emmett full pelt. It hit him right in the forehead, serves him right. Edward, Jasper, and Emmett glared at me.

"What is your problem?" Emmett asked me. "Why did you throw that at me?" He brandished the remote like it was some dangerous weapon. "Wh-How-ugh-I" I said I was so angry that I couldn't even talk to him.

"Are you drunk?" Emmett asked, I closed my eyes, took a deep breath in then opened them.

"No Emmett I'm not drunk" I said trying to keep my voice steady. "How could you do that to me?" I continued. They all wore a questioning look on their faces. Puzzled they didn't have a clue what I was talking about. Clearly I was going to have to spell it out to them. "Emmett ,can I talk to you in private?" I asked as I didn't want to say it in front of company in case they didn't know. Jasper and Edward left shutting the door behind them, although they were probably standing outside the door eavesdropping.

"I don't know how I could've trusted you but I must have been dosed up to my eyeballs on so many hospital meds I must've have been out of my head because I trusted you." I said the anger filling my voice, was high, after a couple minutes he must have finally worked out what I was talking about as comprehension flickered across his face.

"How could you do that to Edward and Rosalie?" Emmett asked.

"Fuck you Emmett, why do you always bring that up in every conversation we have?" I yelled at him. He stayed silent however I decided to interrupt the silence to ask him why he told Rosalie about the pregnancy and miscarriage he responded by telling me "she asked what you meant, when you said, whilst you were drunk, that I was just like Charlie when I didn't visit you."

"Oh so that gives you the right, to tell someone about my personal life, without my permission. You told Rosalie about the hardest time of my life, one of the most difficult and damn right depressing event just because she asked. You had no fucking right Emmett. No fucking right to tell her. And then I had to find out you TOLD her because SHE was LAUGHING about my misfortune with ALICE and fucking TANYA. FUCK YOU EMMETT! Fuck you!" I screamed at Emmett furiously.

"Rose wouldn't do that." Emmett snapped defending Rosalie. "I know you two don't get on but Rosalie wouldn't do something so cruel? Unlike you who would sleep with your best friends boyfriend"

"Ok Emmett, fuck you. I'm so fucking tired of you treating me like crap. Telling people my personal business. You know what I'm over this. I'm out" I said. I held my hands up in surrender, opened the door, pushed past Edward and Jasper, and ran as fast as I could out the front door.

I practically leaped into my truck and slammed down on the gas and drove away in my truck to somewhere I never had gone before. Somewhere I probably should have gone earlier. Carter's grave…

(A.N: I almost ended it here but I didn't want to leave all you guys hanging. LOL XD)

I had gone to the grave yard that Carter was buried in. After a while of searching I found his grave. Carter Edward Swan. I sat next to his grave and well, I just sat there.

"Carter, Carter Edward Swan" I said aloud stifling the tears. I took a deep breath before continuing "I'm sorry that I haven't visited you before, b-b-but I want you to know that-that" My voice was thick with the tears that were currently streaming down my face, but I continued. "That I loved you from the first time I saw you on the ultra sound monitor. I wish every day since the day, you were born that you were here with me. Honestly I'd rather you be here alive than me. I wish I could swap places with you. I miss you. I would have been a great mom, at least I hope I would have been. I would have always put you first and and-" I said, but I couldn't finish what I wanted to say because I burst into tears. I laid down next to the grave and stayed there, a few hours passed and it started to rain, but I couldn't care less. It felt like I was home for the first time.

2 days later…

I hadn't been back to the house, since that argument with Emmett. I'm currently still at the graveyard lying beside Carter's grave. I haven't left well other than going to the toilet but still I haven't eaten or drunk anything and I don't really feel the need to. I stood up, it was time to go back, and so I left and went back to the house. When I arrived Emmett and Edward were standing in the kitchen looking panicked about something.

"Where the hell have you Bella?" Emmett asked he seemed worried. Strange he could have cared less about me, when he told Rosalie about Carter. He noticed that I was dripping wet, covered in mud from head to foot and was still in the same clothes, that I was wearing the last time I saw him. "Bella tell me where you have been this second you have no idea how worried we've been" Emmett said forcefully

"Emmett, are we really going to start this again?" I asked and went upstairs to take a much needed shower. I got changed and grabbed my razor. It had been a while since I had last cut so I cut my arm a little too deeply, but I needed it. After everything. I was in too much pain. I bandaged the cuts up and wrote into my journal. Recording the events of the past 2 days or so.

Dear Diary,

Rosalie was a bitch. Emmett an arsehole. So basically the usual. I still can't believe he would betray me like that. What sort of brother does that. But then again what else should I expect. Emmett told Rosalie about the pregnancy and miscarriage. I never thought I could be so pissed off right now. But I guess I was wrong. As per usual. I visited Carter's grave for the first time. I guess it was something that I needed to do. Did I mention Edward has a huge ego? Well if I didn't then he has.

Signed from, A pissed off Bella.

I went back downstairs and stepped back out the door. I went back to my truck and drove over to Jacob's house. He opened the door, seconds after I arrived on is property. He gave me a huge hug and chucked me over his shoulder, carrying me into his house. "Jake" I giggled as he put me down on his white leather couch, we joked around for a little bit before he took me outside to his garage. He showed me the Ducati motorcycle he had been working on. "Nice ride" I whistled and Jacob laughed.

"Wanna ride it?" Jacob asked.

"Do I!?" I said in excitement.

"The only problem is I don't know how to ride a motorcycle." I said. Jacob laughed at me. "Don't worry Bells, I'll drive, all you gotta do is hold onto my waist and not let go." Jake said seriously. He climbed on and beckoned me to get on behind him. I placed my arms around his waist the engine roared, it startled me. "Ready?" Jake asked before pushing off. He didn't wait for an answer. The motorcycle ride was smooth. We came to a stop at this beach which Jake informed me was called La Push Beach. I glanced around and saw a pack of shirtless guys jumping off of a cliff; Jake noticed that I was staring at them. He nodded in their direction "That's Sam and his 'wolf pack', at least that's what they call themselves. 'The Quileute Wolves', they're bad news".

"What are they doing?" I asked in wonder. It looked like a thrill. Maybe Jake could teach me that sometime I thought to myself silently.

"Their cliff diving, it's a total adrenaline rush." Jacob said. "I've never jumped off that cliff, its dangerous, someone I once knew died jumping from that height. I usually jump off the smaller ones that are lower down the cliff. You should stay away from Sam and his gang." Jacob said seriously.

"Why?" I asked him.

"They're bad news Bella, everyone round here is afraid of them; even I'm scared of them." Jacob said. I nodded knowing that he wanted to drop the conversation. Jake gave me a ride back on the motorbike, to my house and promised that he would drop off my truck off back at the house tomorrow. He hugged me goodbye, before I left him and went back inside. As I reached the front door Edward was leaving with Tanya. I swore I saw a hint of jealously in his eyes, but I must have been mistaken Edward hates me. I put my hand in my pocket and found the chain.

How'd you guys like this chapter? What did you think about Bella's tattoo? Review! Review! Review! I want to know what you guys think. So tell me leave a review or two.