Season 1, Episode 10: The Moment of Truth

"I'm going back to Ealdor," Merlin said, and it wasn't that Arthur was surprised, it was just that he was… disappointed. It was a pain to break in new servants. He'd gotten used to Merlin. That was all.

"Of course," Arthur answered.

"It's been an honor serving you," Merlin said, and this did draw Arthur up short. What did the idiot mean? Was he not expecting to come back or some such nonsense?

"You'll be coming back?" Arthur asked, and Merlin just smiled sadly as if expecting this question.

"She's my mother," he said. "I have to look after her before everyone else." And Arthur ignored the way that send a hollow cord through his chest. He was being ridiculous, thinking of how he didn't want Merlin to leave him. "You understand?" And Arthur did, which somehow made it worse, because this time, he couldn't call Merlin an idiot.

"I'd do exactly the same," he said, and then he smiled, lightening his voice to tease Merlin, because that was the way they'd always dealt with each other. "Well, you've been terrible. I mean it, the worse servant I've ever had." And Merlin laughed.

"Thank you, sire," Merlin said, and Arthur couldn't stop himself from hoping this wouldn't be the last time he'd see that grin.

"He must care for you a great deal," Hunith said, after Gwen, Morgana and Arthur had left the house. Merlin was throwing on his jacket as he got ready to follow them.

"Arthur would do the same for any village," Merlin answered. "That's just the way he is."

"It's more than that," Hunith insisted. "He's here for you."

"I'm just his servant," Merlin said, and she frowned at his back. Perhaps there had been a time, however, brief that had been true for Merlin and Arthur, but Hunith knew it wasn't now. She saw the way Arthur looked at Merlin, the way Merlin followed Arthur, the way they moved together as if they were in sync.

"Give him more credit than that. He likes you."

"That's because he doesn't know me," Merlin said, and Hunith truly wondered if her son believed that. "And if he did, I'd probably be dead." He was obviously talking about his gifts, and perhaps it was true, or perhaps Arthur would understand, accept him as no one else had. Hunith liked to believe that was true of their future king.

"You don't really believe that, do you?" she asked, and Merlin's smile dropped. He looked at her for a long moment before he turned and left the house.

Merlin looked strange in chainmail. That was the thought that kept circling through Arthur's mind as Merlin fiddled with his straps, taking longer than necessary, and Arthur had spent probably an unacceptable amount of time watching him struggle before deciding enough was enough. He stepped forward, taking the buckle out of Merlin's finger and doing up the strap.

Merlin looked up, his dark blue eyes meeting Arthur's for just a second before they flicked away again. He was obviously nervous, and though Arthur knew Merlin wasn't a coward, he wasn't surprised. It was different to stand in the back of a battle and watch a fight than to be expected to fight yourself.

Arthur reached out, putting his hand on Merlin's should, offering, giving support in a way he didn't often do. But it felt strangely right with Merlin. The same way chasing him down to fight for his village or saving his life had just felt right.

"You ready?" he asked.

"My throat's dry," Merlin answered.

"Me too," Arthur said, and then he stepped back, holding his arm out for Merlin to take. It was what he would have done with one of his knights, and though he knew Merlin wasn't a knight, this too felt strangely right. He couldn't find it in himself to tell Merlin how much he meant to him, to say the words Arthur should have been able to say, but he could show him. "It's been an honor."

Merlin nodded, their eyes connecting, and Arthur could swear he could see straight into Merlin's thoughts. He felt he understood Merlin better than himself. Better than was possible with how long they'd known each other.