A/N: And here's another chapter!

Lost and Found

Chapter 9: Love

1718 Local

JAG Headquarters

Falls Church, VA

Mac hated days like this. She stood at her office window, watching the sleet fall and hearing the wind blow it against the glass. Every now and then a flash of lightening would light up the sky, illuminating the parking lot below. She did not relish driving home in this weather; it was likely to be icy and it seemed the city's denizens could never remember how to drive in it. She sighed.

Harm was behind in paperwork and had decided to stay here and work on it before leaving for the weekend. They had plans for tomorrow; there was a new paleontology exhibit at the Smithsonian that they were going to see to be followed by a relaxing evening of movies and dinner at her apartment. She had been hoping to have a nice dinner out with Harm tonight, but when she saw the pile of overdue reports on his desk, she understood why he might want to stay behind and finish it. Then they could spend the rest of the weekend together free and clear of "homework."

March thus far had been a bust weather-wise. It was still unseasonably cold and despite there being only a couple of weeks or so before the official start of spring, she wasn't optimistic that the weather would be improving anytime soon.

Mac gathered her things and stepped over to Harm's office. His head was bent over his keyboard and he was typing away furiously. He hadn't noticed her yet, so she took some time to admire him and think over the last couple of weeks.

They'd been on a few dates, more than enough to satisfy her old three-date rule. They'd spent most evenings together at one of their apartments, cuddling and talking about anything and everything. They laughed, cried once or twice, even argued. They talked about their history of hurting one another, mostly unwittingly, and they worked through some lingering issues regarding Mic and Renee, Webb and Paraguay. They were now more intimately connected than ever before, and Mac wondered if their timeline of a month before they were intimate was a bit of overkill. Maybe tomorrow she should broach that subject with Harm…

"Hey!" Mac was pulled from her reverie by Harm's voice.

"Hey, yourself." She stepped into his office and set her cover and briefcase on one of his visitor's chairs. "How's it going?"

He grimaced. "Slowly. But I'll get through it and then our weekend will be free and clear." He grinned at that and she responded with a grim of her own. He tapped a few more keys on his keyboard.

"Well, Harm, I'm going to take off. I am not looking forward to driving in this tonight." She waved an arm at Harm's window as another flash of lightening brightened the sky.

"Hmmmm…" Harm typed out a few more words, mind obviously on his reports. Mac was surprised when his head suddenly shot up. "What did you say, Mac?"

"I said I'm taking off."

"And after that?"

She looked at him blankly.

"You said something after that." She was a little confused. Harm was now completely focused on her and there was a tightness about his eyes and mouth that bewildered her.

"Oh, I said I was not looking forward to driving in this weather."

Harm stood up. "Well, you're not."

"Excuse me?" Now she was really confused.

"I said, you aren't driving in this. I'm taking you home." He started shutting down his computer and gathering papers into his briefcase.

"Harm, don't be silly. This is nothing I have driven in before. Stay. Finish your reports. I'll see you tomorrow." She picked up her cover and case and made to head out his door. She felt his hands grab her around the shoulders before she'd even taken a full step. He turned her back around. "Harm, what the—" But then she saw the look on his face.

He looked frantic, desperate almost as he gripped her arms. "Mac, please. Humor me. The Lexus has much better traction than your 'vette."

"Well, it's still going to be icy. Your Lexus will slide on that just as much." Even as she protested, she knew she was starting to relent.

"Yeah, but the Lexus is still safer. Please?" His pleading tone completely did her in.

"Okay, Harm. I'll let you take me home." Harm's whole body relaxed then, and he went about gathering his things and putting on his coat. Guiding her by the small of her back, they left the bullpen and headed for the elevators.

1746 Local

Harm's Lexus

Mac studied Harm from the passenger seat of his Lexus. His face held a look of absolute concentration as he navigated the icy streets, and he hadn't said a word since they had pulled out of the parking lot. The windshield wipers went back and forth hypnotically, swiping away the needles of icy rain that fell on it, and Mac shivered.

"Warm enough?" She jumped at the unexpected sound of his voice.

"Yeah, it's fine. I just hate days like this."

"Me too," he said tightly.

The remainder of the drive was spent in silence.

1817 Local

Mac's Apartment

Georgetown

Harm pulled up to her door. "Are you coming up?" she asked. "It's gotten worse…maybe you should wait it out here." She didn't miss the white-knuckle grip he had on the steering wheel. He, at the very least, needed a break. "Harm?"

"Yeah, I will. You go on up and I'll go park, okay?"

"Okay." She exited the vehicle and as soon as she was through the main doors of her apartment, he drove away.

1820 Local

Mac's Apartment

Georgetown

Mac left the door open for Harm as she removed her coat and tossed it over a chair. She changed out of her uniform, then started gathering things for dinner. She was surprised Harm was taking so long to get parked, but she wasn't worried yet. She decided some warm tea was in order and as she set the pot on the stove, Harm finally arrived.

"Hey, I'm putting on some tea—did you want-" She turned around but stopped mid-sentence when she saw him. He was shivering, his hair wet and his coat likely soaked through. She wondered inanely why he didn't own anything warmer. Harm was also limping.

"Harm, what happened?"

"Oh, um, I slipped…twisted that knee a bit." She remembered he'd injured his knee the night he ended up in the Atlantic during her rehearsal dinner.

"You want some ice?"

He shook his head but didn't make any move to take off his coat.

"Harm? Are you going to take off your coat? It looks soaked through." He didn't acknowledge her, and Mac covered her worry for him by getting his coat off herself. He at least cooperated. She took his hand and gasped at the sheer iciness of it.

"Damn, Harm. What happened out there?" She was more worried about what was going on with him mentally than physically. She rubbed his hand between hers, then worked on the other one. That finally seemed to bring him out of his stupor.

"Um, nothing Mac. I just had to park a ways away then slipped a bit on the ice. I forgot my gloves at work…"

"Harm…that's not what I meant." She led him over to her sofa and sat down next to him. "Spill."

"It's nothing, Mac. I just…hate weather like this."

Mac's brow furrowed. "So do I."

"No, Mac. I hate weather like this."

"Why?" She rubbed circles on his back.

"Because it feels like…it feels like…"

It suddenly hit her. "When you crashed the night of my—"

"Yeah." He shook his head. "I know, it's stupid. I mean, my god, I'm not afraid to fly, hell, I've even flown in stormy weather…but a little sleet…and I…"

Mac took his hand in both of hers. "Go on, Harm."

He sighed. "It's the way it feels when it hits you in the face. Like a thousand little needles. And it's so cold…

Mac felt her eyes fill with tears. They had discussed the events around his crash—her aborted wedding, Mic leaving, going to Harm's place afterwards only to find Renee there, but they had never discussed what it was like for him, or her for that matter, when he ejected into the ocean.

"I'm sorry, Harm."

"No, it isn't your fault. And I feel like an idiot…usually I don't get this bad, but sometimes it just hits me. I was going to wait until it eased up before leaving tonight, but I couldn't let you go out there alone."

"Harm, I've driven in weather worse than this."

"Yeah, but now you're…we're…and honestly, even before I would worry about you."

"Oh, Harm…" She wrapped her arms around him. "Did you ever see someone after…after that, I mean, professionally?"

He shook his head. "Not really. I had to meet a couple of times with a psychologist before I went before the board, but that was in the summer, so it hadn't come up yet. I didn't expect to react like that…when it first happened, I had just stepped outside planning to get groceries. As soon as the ice hit my face, I had a flashback. I remembered the spray of the ocean and the rain still falling on me. I really thought I was going to die that day…"

Mac could only pull him closer to her. She had been terrified that night; the weather had been awful in DC too and all she could think of was that he was out in it. Cold. Alone. She stifled a sob.

Harm turned in her embrace. "Mac, don't cry. I'll be alright. I've never talked about this before with anyone…and now that I have, I think it will get better."

Mac swiped at the few tears that had escaped. "I hope so, Harm. You know, we should probably talk about that whole night. We've talked about everything else, but Harm, that was one of the worst nights of my life and I can't even begin to imagine what it was like for you."

They sat and held each other until the tea kettle whistled. She started to stand to go take care of it, but then she noticed Harm was still shivering. "Harm? Why don't you go hop in the shower and get warmed up, and I'll get started on dinner and the tea."

He nodded, but before she could stand all the way, he grabbed her around the waist and plunked her down on his lap. His lips found hers in a searing kiss and once again she found herself shifting to straddle him. The kiss took on a life of its own for endless seconds, and as he brushed her lips with his one last time she asked, "What was that for?"

"Just for being you. For listening to me, for caring, for being so incredibly beautiful that I'm going to embarrass myself in a minute if you keep sitting where you're sitting."

She gave a light chuckle and started wriggling off his lap, hearing Harm's groan as she did so. "Mac, that isn't helping."

Her lips quirked up in a little smile. "Oh, I think it is." She wiggled provocatively over him and had to laugh at his pained expression.

"How much longer is left in our month?" his strangled voice asked.

"Maybe too long." She leaned in to kiss him, but this time kept it light, not wanting him to think she was pressuring him any. "Now, help me up so I can get dinner ready."

Harm did as she asked, and soon he was standing as well. He stepped forward and cupped her face in his hands. He stared intently into her eyes for a few beats, then said something she was not expecting.

"I love you, Mac."

His declaration made her tears fall again. As he lowered his lips to hers, she breathed her answer into his mouth. "I love you too, Harm."

1834 Local

Mac's Apartment

Georgetown

Mac was in a quandary. Harm had gone to shower, and she was supposed to be starting dinner. She had given up on the tea; instead she just stood in her kitchen, thinking of the man currently undressing in her bathroom. In the last couple of weeks, they had talked, yes, but they'd also engaged in several fevered make out sessions that left them tingling with arousal. They'd held back thus far, but right now, she had no idea what they were waiting for. They'd covered a lot of ground since becoming a couple, and with most if not all of the past hurts and misunderstandings had been laid to rest. Mac sighed, a frequent occurrence for her lately. She turned back to her cupboards, but then she had a thought.

Harm hadn't brought anything other than his uniform to wear tonight, but it just so happened she had stolen a pair of his sweats a few years ago. She should probably get those out for him. She made her way to the bedroom, hearing the shower come on as she pulled the sweats out of a drawer. She started to lay the sweats out on her bed and heard him pull the shower curtain back. He must be getting under the water now. Maybe she should put the sweats in the bathroom for him. They'd be easier to find then.

She pushed open the bathroom door and set the sweats on the toilet. The furnace and the steam from the shower had made the bathroom quite warm, so she pulled her sweatshirt over her head. It landed in a heap in front of the sink. Her jeans followed when she found she was still rather hot. She looked around the bathroom, making sure Harm had found the towels. The fleeting thought that she should probably go back to her kitchen duties went through her mind, only to be pushed out by the worry that Harm might need help given his reinjured knee. Off went her bra and panties. She stepped toward the shower.

Her hand reached for the curtain. Yes, Harm was sure to need some help…

She pulled back the curtain, hesitating when it was time to step inside. Her blood was pounding in her ears. Oh, cut the crap, MacKenzie. You know exactly what you are doing. Get in there!

She stepped carefully and silently over the side of her tub. Harm's back was toward her-that perfect, muscled back that led down to his even more perfect six. Her arm stretched out toward him; her fingers, their touch feather light, found his shoulder. "Harm?"

He turned around, mouth dropping open at the sight of her naked body. His eyes drifted down toward her breasts, then lower still to where the desire pooled within her. She looked down as well, wanting to see the part of him that she'd been dreaming about for years.

She wasn't disappointed. She'd always suspected he would be well-endowed, but the fantasy paled in comparison to the real thing, especially as it started to grow before her eyes. She felt Harm's fingers lift her chin.

"Sarah, are you sure?"

She wasn't sure she could speak, so she merely nodded.

"And our month?"

She ran her hands over the now wet bulging pecs she'd dreamt about since the night she had watched over Harm when they feared Palmer was coming for him. "Over," she said, finally finding her voice.

At that, he crushed her against him, his lips seeking hers. She felt his arousal against her stomach, and it sent a jolt to her core as his tongue plundered her mouth. His hands roamed over her body, drifting down to her six and back up again, then moved to caress her breasts. His thumbs brushed over her nipples, by now hard and erect, before taking each into his mouth, swirling his tongue around them. Mac reached down in between them, finding his hardened manhood and stroking it once, twice and he gasped at her touch. His hand found the aching bundle of nerves at her center and he teased it with his thumb before slipping two fingers inside her. She moaned and it spurred him on even more. His lips and then his tongue ravished her throat and shoulders and then dipped down to the valley between her breasts. She whimpered as his fingers left her core to stroke and palm her breasts, rolling her cinnamon nipples between his fingers and then gently tugging at them. "So beautiful," he murmured.

Harm then dropped to his knees, kissing his way downward, over her stomach and down to her mound, his tongue seeking out that which had readied itself for him. He licked and teased as Mac's legs turned to rubber. Her arms went about his shoulders so she could hold herself upright, crying out when his fingers slipped inside her once again. He looked up at her through his lashes. "Oh, Sarah, you taste...so good...and you're so wet. Just for me. I want you to come for me, baby. Come, Sarah." He resumed his oral assault on her, his tongue swirling about her bud, his mouth drawing it in and suckling at it, driving Mac wild. Her cries became incoherent as she bucked against him, her fingers lacing through his silky hair, holding his head at her core. He smiled against her, his tongue lapping up her juices as it slid through her slick folds. "Oh, baby...you're so, so tight..." His fingers still slid in and out, faster and faster, curling and turning within her, until she finally came with his name on her lips. He continued to stroke her, slower now, drawing out her orgasm until she thought she might just spontaneously combust right there. "Ha-a-a-arm!" she cried again, clenching her inner muscles around his fingers, her knees buckling. He slid his fingers out of her and pulled her down to him, kissing her with a new passion. She tasted herself on his lips and it aroused her even more.

"Harm, I need you. Inside me. Now!" She reached for his cock, but he stopped her.

"Wait, Sarah. I want our first time to be in a bed." He stared intently into her eyes and she nodded. He wrapped his arm around her to help her stand and then reached behind him to turn the water off. Mac felt the chill as he yanked back the curtain and stepped out, giving her his hand to help her step out as well. Before she could find her footing, he scooped her up in his arms and carried her out to the bed, laying her still wet body in the center of it. He followed, hovering above her as she opened her legs for him. He settled in between them, his erection poised at her entrance, teasing her swollen folds. She was soaking wet and it had nothing to do with the shower.

Once again, the question was in his eyes. She nodded, whispering. "Yes, Harm. Please." With that he eased himself into her and as he began to move, she wrapped her legs around him and knew that she was finally complete.

2054 Local

Harm's Apartment

North of Union Station

"You know, Mac, we'd get more done if you weren't in my lap." They were at his apartment, preparing a defense for their newest client.

"We'd get more done if you didn't keep pulling me back down, Harm." she countered.

"Fine, get off then." He started to push at her, but her arms went around his neck and held fast.

"I don't want to," she giggled.

"Maaaaac…."

She laughed harder. "I know, I know, Harm." This time she did get off of him and moved to the other end of the couch. Before long, they had their strategy planned out and could return to more extracurricular activities.

Since the night they'd first made love, they had grown even closer. As they lay together, finally sated, they had discussed his night in the Atlantic Ocean, both crying as he described the horror of watching the SAR team pass over him, how he eventually grew so cold that he no longer even shivered. He had been rescued just in time. He told her how he hated rain now, especially the icy sleet that could still be heard outside her window. He could drive in it, fly in it, but if he felt it on his face, he would feel the sharp sting of panic. She'd never noticed this reaction before, and it made her cry harder, knowing he had suffered in silence right next to her many, many times. He did his best to reassure her that she couldn't have known when he worked so hard to hide it; he didn't just use that famous fighter pilot control in the air. After his confession, they made love, slower this time, falling asleep only to wake up a couple of hours later reaching for each other again.

Speaking of… "You coming to bed, Ninja Girl?"

"Right behind you, Flyboy." God, how she loved him.

1722 Local

JAG Headquarters

Falls Church, VA

Mac shut down her computer, pleased that another week had come to an end. With the coming of April, the weather had finally warmed up. Winter coats were packed away to make room for the lighter coats of fall and spring, and it seemed everybody's mood at JAG had perked up immeasurably.

Of course, Mac knew that the warmer weather wasn't the only reason she was so happy. That reason was currently sitting in the office next to hers. She'd never felt this way about anyone, and she knew Harm felt the same. He had been in Pensacola for most of the week and she had missed him terribly. Their reunion the night before made her blush at the thought of it.

Tonight, they had plans to check out a new Italian restaurant in her neighborhood. A few of her neighbors had raved about it, and she was looking forward to it. Mac stood up from her desk and grabbed her coat, buttoning it up and cinching the belt around her before she reached for her cover. She hoped Harm was ready to leave as well.

"Hey, sweet thing."

Apparently, he was indeed ready as he now stood in her doorway, clad in his coat, holding his briefcase with his cover tucked under his arm.

"Hey, yourself," she answered. She raised an eyebrow at him. "You know, Harm, they're going to start asking questions if you keep calling me that here." They had told the admiral shortly after they had become intimate, not that they told him that, and as long as they kept it out of the office, he was fine, indeed even happy, about it. As for the rest of the JAG crew, they decided to keep it under wraps. They didn't have any specific reason for it, but it just felt right.

Harm shrugged. "If they do, they do…by the way, I'm so close to throwing you over my shoulder and taking you home to ravish you." He wiggled his eyebrows at her, and she was glad there weren't very many people left in the bullpen.

"Behave, Harm. We have dinner reservations."

"We could get it to go…you pick it up while I get things ready at your place…"

"Uh, Harm? I think I should be the one to get things ready…somehow I'm sure what you have planned involves nudity and eating cannoli off each other's bodies."

"And what is so wrong with that?" He flashed that flyboy grin of his at her, the one she'd told him years ago wouldn't get him anywhere-a lie even then.

"Nothing," she grinned back. She winked at him. "Next time. But, speaking of which…my landlord changed all the locks…one of my neighbors had her apartment broken into the other day and she was attacked. He decided to err on the side of caution and change everyone's. I made you a new key." She looked around for her keyring, not seeing the horrified look on Harm's face at first. When she did, it surprised her. "What?" she asked, her brow furrowing.

"Someone broke into your building? Do they know who it is? Maybe you should stay at my place for a while."

She waved his concern aside. "Relax, Harm. It was her ex-boyfriend, a domestic situation, and he was only after her. He's in jail now and thankfully, Jeanne is alright. Besides, I'm a marine. I can take care of myself. I told you, the landlord is just being extra cautious. Now, if I ever find my keys, I'll give you the new one." She glanced around the room again, then patted down her pockets. Ah. She reached into the right pocket, cursing the deepness of it as she slid her hand down past a piece of paper into its recesses. The keys had, of course, fallen completely to the bottom, but finally, her fingers made contact with them. As she pulled the keys out, the piece of paper also in there came with them, fluttering to the floor.

Harm knelt down to retrieve it in the same instant that Mac realized what the paper was.

"Hey," he said, "why do you have—" He smoothed out the page and Mac felt a stab of horror as he read the words written on his mother's stationary, in his mother's hand.

"Harm—" she pleaded. She watched the color drain from his face as he swallowed a couple of times. His mouth opened and closed. He started to speak, then choked the words off. He swallowed again. His hand shook as he gripped the letter in his hand.

"How…when…you know?"

Obviously, she couldn't lie to him. "Yes."

"Since…"

Tears stung her eyes. "Since the night that the admiral gave us the case at Camp Lejeune. The one that got called off…it was the night I almost fell down your stairs."

Harm nodded and she watched his jaw clench and unclench. She began to ramble.

"I was looking for a pen. The drawer wouldn't close. Something was blocking it…the envelope...I pulled on and it when it came out it spilled all over the floor. I'm sorry, Harm. I didn't mean to…I put everything back, I know I wasn't supposed to see it, but you were coming in the door and then I missed your mom's letter, so I picked it up and put it in my coat pocket. I had forgotten it was there…I haven't worn this coat since then…I'm just so sorry."

"You never said anything…"

"I knew I wasn't meant to see it…I thought it was best if I forgot all about it."

Harm nodded, still standing in place, staring at his mother's note.

The tension in the room grew thick as she watched him slowly lower the letter to his side.

"Harm, please say something." Her heart was pounding furiously.

"Could I…could I take a raincheck for tonight?" The strangled tone of his voice broke her heart.

"Yeah, of—of course, Harm."

He nodded again, shoving the note into his own pocket before turning around. He stopped at the threshold, turning his head back toward her. "Bye," he choked out before striding out of her office and then out of the bullpen.

"Goodbye, Harm," she said to no one.

She pushed her door closed, locked it, and closed the blinds. She shakily walked behind her desk and lowered herself into her chair, burying her face in her hands and trying to decide if she should cry or vomit.

Crying won.

End Chapter 9