Fifteen: Nowhere Near Me.

Hiccup wasn't at all surprised when Astrid didn't arrive as usual after lunch to take him for his weapon's training. In fact, he saw her walk the long way round the Plaza to avoid coming anywhere near the Forge and he felt his heart sink: clearly her father had forbidden her to have anything to do with him. He sighed then turned back to the next weapon on the pile…and then he stared: it was Astrid's axe. Reverently, he caressed the smooth, well-loved wood of the handle and peered at the dull gleam of the precise blade. It might be the closest he was allowed to get to her ever again.

Gobber watched him closely, still lightly bruised from his encounters with the bullies, and his thick unibrow dipped at the way his emerald gaze trailed over the Plaza whenever the lithe, blonde shape in the kransen and the studded leather skirt walked purposefully by, her eyes directed anywhere but the forge. The big blacksmith wondered if he imagined the small sigh the boy gave as she vanished.

"I'm sure she's busy wi' her parent's jobs," he said reassuringly to the boy but Hiccup flicked his eyes up and his face fell.

"Or maybe they don't want her anywhere near me," he sighed. "After all, everyone was glaring at me like a leper or an Outcast…and Astrid as well…" His hand gently trailed over the axe and he sighed, then took it to the grindstone and cautiously refreshed the edge, then gave the axe a vigorous polish. Gobber stared at the boy.

"You could always take it back to her," Gobber said cheerfully. "In fact you could do all my deliveries…" Hiccup's eyes widened and his jaw dropped.

"Thor, no…" he whimpered. "Gods, I'm just about safe here with you to warn them off…what the Hel will happen when I turn up with their precious weapons, apparently touching them and so making them cursed by the Gods? I'll be lucky to escape with my life!" Gobber's thick unibrow dipped as he scowled at the anxious boy.

"If I ask my apprentice to do the deliveries, I expect him to do them!" he growled and for a second, Hiccup felt a thrill of fear down his spine. His head bowed.

"Yes, Gobber," he said defeatedly and went to collect the cart, his head bowed and shoulders hunched. The two-limbed man almost called after Hiccup but the boy had already gathered the finished weapons and was trying to work out where everyone lived. With a defeated sigh, he struggled with the cart and headed up the village.

His first stop was the Hoffersons' home-because it was the only one that Hiccup knew for definite-and he held Astrid's axe tenderly for a long second before he knocked on the door-and waited. There was a pause…and then Astrid opened the door. The boy's eyes widened and he stumbled back a step. "A-Astrid…?" he mumbled, then shook himself. "I-I brought your axe back. Um…good as new…" he added, blushing. She took it silently, then closed the door behind her. He swallowed miserably and stared at the blank wood for a long moment, then turned away, his heart in his boots. She wouldn't even speak to him…but was he surprised? He had been rejected by his family, orphaned by the people who had adopted him, enslaved by his tribe, abused hideously in the port and basically persecuted by the Jorgensens. Why would the most beautiful, fierce and accomplished girl on Midgard want anything to do with him?

Sighing, he turned away and tried to work out next where Magnus Harildson lived…

oOo

That night, he was lying in his bed-his bed, how amazing was that?-and stared at the wooden roof above his head, his green eyes wide. He had endured an afternoon of sneers and cold stares, precious little help despite his polite enquiries about where to find the various customers. So he had walked up and down the village for half the afternoon going pillar to post to return the weapons…with not a single word of thanks. Gobber had reassured the boy that he would collect the money later and thanked him but Hiccup had just felt horrible, once again ostracised by the village he had been taken to and was trying to help.

He blinked. The image that kept rolling around his head was Astrid's face, carefully blank as she took her beautiful axe and closed the door in his face. Astrid who had defended him. Astrid who had deliberately and kindly taken him to eat. Astrid who had almost certainly been chastised by her father for risking her honour by being seen with him. He flung his arm across his face. It had been stupid, he knew, but he had been enjoying having her as a friend, even enjoying the humiliation of his utter hopelessness with a weapon because it meant spending time with her. But it seemed that dream was over and once again, he was friendless and isolated.

Except for Gobber and the Chief, he reminded himself sternly. Gods, you are so lucky that the Chief is so kind to you. And Gobber…well, he is patient and sarcastic and makes you feel so…normal. Face it…this is a hundred times better than freezing in the port…or worse…

There was a thud overhead and his eyes snapped open, hitching himself up on his elbows and staring at the wooden roof. There were steps up there and he felt a cold thrill of fear clutch his heart, fearing Snotlout was coming for him. His hand snatched at the dagger, lying on the little table by his bed and holding it in a shaking hand as the roof hatch creaked open. A body dropped through and he scrambled back, holding the knife in both trembling hands as he stared wildly at the intruder.

"It's me," Astrid said.

"Oh, thank Thor!" Hiccup said shakily, lowering his knife. "What are you doing here? I thought..." The girl sighed, realising who she had feared had broken into his room.

"My father forbade me to speak to you or have anything to do with you again," she admitted and his shoulders slumped. He took a deep breath.

"I understand," he said wearily. "It's kind of you to explain..." She dropped to her knees on the bed by him and shook her head.

"No, you don't," she told him urgently. "I will choose my own friends and make my own judgement on people. And you have done nothing wrong, Hiccup." Green eyes flicked up to scan her determined face: in the dim light, she really was very beautiful.

"Some people consider that my just being here is wrong," he reminded her. Her blonde eyebrows dipped into a scowl.

"People who profit from making others feel bad and who enjoy hurting others," she admitted. "Look, I heard your story, as did Fishlegs and we both know the truth. I'm just sorry other people don't have the decency to understand that you were not to blame." He scratched the back of his neck in embarrassment and blushed. That Astrid, who was beautiful, brave, skilled with the axe and clearly an outstanding Viking, was here in his bedroom trying to make him feel better only made him feel horribly self conscious. He nodded warily.

"I don't want you to get into trouble," he admitted. "The weird thing about shame is that it seems to have no reason, no mitigation and no expiry date. I have been shamed and no matter what I do, that will never change. You are without stain...but being with me would change that...and I don't want to harm you." He sighed. "You are my friend," he murmured softly. "And I couldn't let that hurt you..."

She stared at him for a long moment...then lunged forward, wrapping her arms around his skinny shape. Shocked, he stiffened...and then hugged her back, closing his eyes for a brief moment at the warmth briefly surrounding him. "Mutton-head," she whispered in his ear. "I'm not about to let my father or anyone stop me helping you and being the friend you need." He stared at her and she gave a small smile.

"Why?" he asked her. "I-I mean I couldn't be more grateful but you've known me for a few days and everyone is against me...while you are beautiful and brave and skilled and respected...why would you risk that to be associated with me?" She gave a grim smile.

"I am a Hofferson," she told him. "I was small as a child and though I am quick and accurate, I'm not as physically strong as the others." Hiccup doubted that but kept silent. "Snot lost is a vile bully and he used to pick on Fishlegs and me when we were younger. Now he doesn't only because Fishlegs is huge and he thinks I am pretty and wants to marry me." She paused. "I will dedicate my life to Freya before I marry that pig!" she added fiercely. Then she sighed. "But we are shamed as well...one reason why my father doesn't want to risk my value in being seen with you."

Hiccup was shaking his head. "I don't believe that..." he murmured. She sat back on her heels.

"It's true," she admitted. "My Uncle was a great warrior-'Fearless' Finn Hofferson. Everyone respected him and admired him. A little under ten years ago, when I was a small girl of five, a dragon called the Flightmare attacked our village. It comes every ten years, when Arvindal's Fire lights the sky, and wreaks destruction on Berk. Uncle Finn vowed to protect us and ran to meet it...but as he faced it...he froze. I had slipped away and saw it. He seemed to be trying to move, but nothing happened. I saw..." She faltered and her eyes shone. She blinked a couple of times and swallowed. "I saw it kill him. I could see he was angry and confused. He remained Fearless...but Spitelout Jorgensen and Hoark said he had frozen from fear and the Hoffersons were dishonoured. I am their hope for redemption...but I know the Jorgensens will just try to buy me as a bride when I threaten Snotlout's position as best warrior in the village and turn me from a warrior to brood mare for that obnoxious toad."

Hiccup stared at her and gently rested a hand on her shoulder...then gave her a hug. She froze for a second...then hugged him back.

"You are amazing," he told her. "I can't believe these people hold something like that against you! Why should something a dragon did to your Uncle hang over you like a cloud?"

"This is Berk," she sighed. Hiccup shrugged. It made no sense but he was an outsider-what would he know?

"I understand," he murmured. "Thanks for coming, Astrid. At least I know..." She swatted his shoulder irritably.

"I'm here for your lesson!" she snapped. His eyes widened.

"Um...here?" he gulped, imagining Stoick racing up the stairs at the racket. She face-palmed.

"No, in the forest," she told him. He frowned.

"I thought there was a curfew...?" he murmured. She gave a grin.

"Your house is right at the top edge of the village and you can easily sneak out and into the forest without being seen," she told him calmly.

"In the dark…with all those wild dragons," Hiccup murmured. "Boy, you take the 'Fearless' thing seriously…" She gave a sudden small smile.

"I try," she admitted. "I want to be known as 'Fearless' Astrid Hofferson. And I can't if I am afraid of my father and let him break a promise I made." Hiccup stared at the girl as she inspected her hands briefly. "I promised I would help you with your weapon skills, Hiccup. And I never break a promise!" She paused, brushing the bangs from over her left eye and then darted forward, her lips planting a fast kiss on his cheek. "And I promised Eva I would give you that if I saw you again. When I saw you again…"

Hiccup stared, his cheeks suddenly scorching red in shock and embarrassment and a shaking hand raised to the bruised skin, on fire from the the gentle kiss. And while it was purportedly from a grateful five year old, the fact that Astrid Hofferson had softly kissed his cheek had totally thrown him. An unfamiliar warmth stirred in his breast that he really knew was probably wrong and almost definitely illegal, given his abysmally low status in the village.

"G-glad to h-hear it…" he mumbled. She gave a small laugh at his complete discomposure and then scrambled to her feet.

"C'mon," she said and gestured. "It doesn't look too hard to get out of here…" Hiccup paused, then grabbed his fur vest and hauled his small fur boots on before neatly folding his blankets. "I've got your sword," Astrid added as she easily clambered up and scrambled through the hatch. Hiccup frowned, then followed her lead, realising the route wasn't that hard. He quietly closed the hatch to keep in what heat there was and followed Astrid down to the frosty grass. The moon was cast its silvery light and deep black shadows but Astrid knew where she was going, padding determinedly through the edges of the forest onto a well-worn track that Hiccup realised with shock and a frisson of fear was the way that Spitelout had brought him back when the dragon raid had saved him from another horrific assault at his and his son's hands. He sped up to walk a little closer to Astrid.

There were a few rustles and the odd dragon cry that had him jumping but which Astrid was calm with. Her axe was slung across her back and she was carrying the practice swords and as she walked, Hiccup noticed her balance was perfect, her weight centred and head held high. She was a little taller than he was and slender but lithe and he could see the faint outlines of muscles in her arms. she had trained herself to be much stronger than she was naturally because she had to be and there was a resolve in her flawless face that made him straighten his own back and stride after her.

She led them to a small open meadow in the middle of the forest, the edges all bordered by tall pines, their dark trunks clear of branches until they reached about forty feet in height: they almost looked like the thick bars of a cage arena…and Hiccup briefly stiffened at the memory. The Meatheads had tried putting the weakling slave in fights as well with their own youngsters but that had been as successful as putting him in the fields. Beaten and battered and almost killed twice, they had decided the only satisfaction he would give them would be in recouping their gold…so they had sold him to the Captain. He blinked, pulling himself back to the wide clearing, the crunch of frosty grass loud as they stood under the brilliant star-smeared sky, breath coming in clouds.

"Okay…I really want you to show me what we practised," Astrid said, her sword in her hand and Hiccup grabbed his sword, unconsciously adjusted the grip and lunged at her. There was the clang of iron against iron and he swung as she had told him, bending his knees to bring his whole weight to bear in every stroke. Astrid's eyes widened in shock as the impacts steadily drove her back. Green eyes narrowed, face locked in concentration, Hiccup gave one final blow and slapped the sword from her stinging fingers, then turned, the point of the sword hovering inches from her chest. And then his eyes widened, his face looked shocked and he dropped the sword, backing away.

"i-I'm sorry!" he gabbled, cringing back. "I-I don't know what happened….please, forgive me…" She looked at him-really looked-and her eyes narrowed.

"What was that?" she demanded. His shoulders hunched.

"Oh Thor…I just d-did what you asked me to do…" he said softly. She stared at him.

"But…how…?" she asked. He gaped and lifted the sword. He stared at it ashamedly.

"I-I don't know…" he murmured. "I-I just…did it…" She frowned and then she gasped.

"You're holding the sword in your left hand…" she realised, her blue eyes widening. Hiccup flinched and swiftly switched back to his right hand, the grip once again clumsy and awkward-looking. "Hiccup-which hand do you write and draw with?"

"My left. Sorry." She frowned.

"You defeated me with your left hand…but you're pretty hopeless with your right," she admitted.

"Sorry. I'll try harder." he mumbled defeatedly. She grasped his hand and ducked her head slightly to peer into his shamed green eyes.

"You don't understand…what you did was amazing, Hiccup!" she reassured him urgently. "I have been training in arms all my life-and you defeated me with the sword after two lessons! And those were with your wrong hand!" His eyes flicked up and a small smile lifted his lips.

"Um…really?" he asked.

"I mean, your form is all wrong and it was probably lucky you disarmed me but…Thor, that was scary," she admitted. Hiccup's shoulders straightened a little and he lowered the sword, walking closer to her.

"I'm sorry. I never meant to scare anyone," he admitted. "I need all the help I can get because I really don't have a clue…" She gently rested her hand on his and gave a little smile.

"I think you do…and you have some real potential there…but fighting left-handed," she told him. "I think it's even more important that you learn with me…because if the Chief has to put you in weapons training, the others will tease you because you fight with the wrong hand." She paused and her grip tightened slightly. "Don't listen to them, Hiccup. They have been taught all their lives and you could be better than them all with the sword." She chewed her lip. "I want to continue training you. I want to be your friend…but I may have to ignore you if anyone is around because my father would be furious…"

"I understand," he said softly. "Not that it's anything unusual, people ignoring me…shouting names at me…demanding I am treated as worthless…" He sighed. "Just…can I ask you don't call me names, please? It…it would hurt so much more if you did it…" She gave a small, grin smile.

"I promise," she sighed, "because the truth is that in this, I'm not Fearless. I'm afraid of what my Dad will do…and he has threatened that if I am stupid and associate with you, he may be forced to enforce a marriage to the only person who would take someone shamed by associating with you."

"Snotlout," Hiccup breathed, closing his eyes. "Gods damn it…does he ruin everything in this village?" Astrid nodded.

"The Jorgensens are powerful and rich while my family…isn't," she sighed. "But I am not giving up on you. Hiccup…and I promise I will train you, no matter what!" He gave her a small smile.

"Then I will work as hard as I can to make you proud," he murmured, "and Astrid…if you want anything…if you need anything…I will always help." She gave him a dazzling smile and then scooped up her sword, backing up.

"Okay, Hiccup," she smirked. "Let's run through your exercises again…" He smiled and lifted his sword in his left hand.

"Yes, Milady," he said.

They practised for another hour until Hiccup was exhausted. Using his left hand, the hand he naturally used for forging, drawing, hammering meant he was far more coordinated and his utterly shattered self-confidence received a little tiny boost and Astrid was her usual efficient self as teacher…but she was pleased with his progress and encouraging every time he managed to show even a small improvement in his skill level. In fact, a night which had started with him wondering if he would ever have any friends or ever learn to use a weapon had turned into a cold, moonlight dream. And he felt a little pang of grief when Astrid yawned and reluctantly admitted they needed to head back and get some sleep. Yawning, the girl collected the swords and stowed them in a hollow tree…but as she walked back to Hiccup, she froze, her blue eyes widening and face paling in utter shock and horror.

"Hiccup!" she hissed. "Don't move!"

He froze, eyes wide and entire body tense. "Why?" he asked breathlessly.

"Because there's a dragon right behind you!"