Catra couldn't sleep.

Not only because she had consumed more sugar that day than she believed she had ever had in her life but because the words that kept repeating over and over in her head—words that she had heard right after splitting up with her friends—and Adora's group.

After all, she couldn't really call them her friends and it had taken her months to warm up to Scorpia and Entrapta—especially Scorpia. But then again, everything had been harder then and she had to find a place to stay. But still, thinking back on how she had basically used the taller girl wasn't pleasant.

But that had worked out, didn't it?

Sighing she flopped onto her side, ignoring the sound of the mattress creaking beneath her as the words repeated in her mind once again.

You know they just feel sorry for you, the nobody who is trying to be anything but a street urchin. Well guess what Catra, no one will ever stick around a freak like you long term.

She knew that it shouldn't effect her, that Lonnie was always an ass.

But wasn't that also what she had said? That Catra didn't deserve happiness? That she was nothing? That Adora was just being nice? Catra didn't want to believe it and she most certainly didn't think that Adora would go to great lengths just to use someone but there was still that little voice in the back of her head that kept repeating "what if?".

What if this was just something to sooth Adora's guilty conscience?

What if this blew up in her face? What if Adora decided that she wasn't worth it? What if they all decided that.

Catra knew she wasn't the nicest person on the planet but she still valued her friends—no matter how few that they were—and the thought of just losing them hurt.

Badly.

But who could she talk to about this? Scorpia? No, that would be barking up the wrong tree on a million different levels and she didn't want to know what Scorpia would suggest.

She really didn't want to deal with another session with a Dr. Phil wanna-be at one am in the morning.

Groaning she sat up, glancing at the clock before grabbing her keys from the bedside table.

Screw this...I'm going for a walk. Late or not. Who gives a crap about school when I'm not going to be able to fall asleep any damn way. She thought with a sigh.

Catra had never been one to run away from anything. Not bullies when she was a child, not even Beatrix 'shadow' weaver. But her thoughts on the other had, she felt as though she had to escape before she was slowly overwhelmed by the voices that seemed to taunt her every thought. So she ran.

But even the crisp night air couldn't keep the voices out of her head.

Voices that sounded suspiciously like Shadow Weaver.

Worthless girl! You're lucky that you even have a roof over your head! Most people like you live in the streets, that's where you belong! Who else would keep you?

Adora just feels sorry for you, who would want to hang out with a freak like you?

Catra? What kind of dumb nickname is that? What are you? Stupid or something?

She wasn't watching where she was going, not really. No, her mind's eye was playing the past over before her as if it was some kind of horror show on repeat and her skin burned with every mental reminder of the physical and emotional pain.

She remembered the water and the beating she had gotten after all of that—all for being a typical child and returning inside messy. Adora obviously didn't get the same treatment and she was equally as guilty. She remembered the time that Lonnie—another child from the group home—had pushed her off a slide at school and broken her arm.

He was still an ass.

"Why won't you just stop!"

she shouted to no one as she finally found herself coming to a complete stop.

Stupid emotions...Why do they even have to exist? Things would be so much easier if I didn't feel so damn much. She thought bitterly as she glanced down at her hand, wincing at the bruising that was evident on her knuckles. Well I hope that bastard learns not to talk shit that he can't back up.

She didn't have any idea to where she was going but she knew that she didn't want to go home just yet, especially so with a sigh she began to walk once more, not following any set path until she reached a crossroad that lead farther into town...alongside the woods that she had always been to creeped out by to explore.

Adora and I always wondered what was in there, epseically since people claimed to see flickering lights and stuff...and worse case scenario...I'll get lost and the idiot squad will start searching for me. Best case scenario I can find a gold mine or something and get the hell out of this place.

"Can't you sleep either?"

Adora nearly jumped out of her skin at the sudden voice—she did manage to fall out of the window seat in surprise—although she relaxed when she saw Angela standing in the doorway.

"No, I read Mara's letter finally...Evidently the visions and stuff is getting worse. They're trying her on a new medicine but she isn't exactly hopeful about it." Adora confessed as she got to her feet and turned her attention back toward the window.

"At least she is seeking help. Some people who have problems try to self medicate until everything spirals out of control." Angela reminded the teen as she closed the distance between them and put a hand on her shoulder.

Angela tried not to notice how the teen leaned into the touch.

"It seems that ever since I came here things keep getting worse and worse for her. Like what if I'm a trigger or something? Like what if I remind her of a fallen comrade or..."

Angela cut her off before she could finish.

"Adora, she's an ex-soldier who specialized in artillery. War leaves scars on everything it touches and not all of them are physical. You staying with her did not bring on any of this...Yes it seems she is slowly getting worse but there is nothing that a teen-aged kid could do to make an illness worsen." Angela said, hoping that she was making sense and not sounding 'condescending'—as Glimmer so often accused her of.

"I'm going out to check on Swift Wind...I need something to get my mind off it."

Angela could only nod, not really knowing how to take the teen who insisted on acting so strong most of the time. Just what the world made her that way? She hasn't really relaxed since she moved in here...Maybe Glimmer knows something.

On second thought maybe I should ask Glimmer so I know exactly how to handle things like this.

She thought with a sigh as she watched the blonde leave.

Catra heard it before she ever saw anything.

A hushed voice telling something—or someone—to stop moving before they hurt them, which of course set Catra into imagining all sorts of worse case scenarios that would probably have given a normal person nightmares.

But not Catra. No, Catra—rather being really brave or really dumb—decided to go toward the noise while armed with nothing more than a stick. Only to end up screaming a second later when something pale in color suddenly touched her cheek.