Testing my writing some more. Cleaning.

Because in the end, hatred is at least something. So is anger, disappointment, and despair. It is still a movement of the human soul. Indifference is what kills us. The greatest harm you can commit to another is apathy, because whatever they do is as meaningful as the passing fly. It is the nothing of nothings.

Now that her body was in a healthier condition, already bits of her mind were piecing things she already knew: She was one of two elves of the Grand Chase. They were in a war that was, for the most part, highly against them in favour. She and some of the other Chasers were out on an ambush mission on the Marsh of Oblivion to defeat Elizabeth's "squadron", and had succeeded, though with several elven casualties. But she was alive, and the mission completed.

Now her nails were clipped short, like a child's. When her shoulders were too sore for her to draw the bow, she practiced her kicks, moving through obstacles and sweeping with her feet in fluid motions.

"Lire, your stance is good." Jin got each word out in between pants. "Just need more stability—whoa!"

Var was still testing new theories, devising methods to cure her. Lass had no choice but to believe him. Meanwhile, her loss hadn't compromised her ability to recover and fight. Rather, it seemed to have improved.

"Thank you, Sir Jin." Her hair was held back with a clip; her face glistened with sweat as she feinted, and then aimed a punch towards the solar plexus.

Everyone had some kind of distraction to forget that they were in a war. Lire's garden was slowly taken over with weeds, although she occasionally watered them. Her non-combat attire and trinkets left untouched. Her nails and hair were once her vanities, now ignored.

It was too late to dodge; he took the hit, betrayed by his shallow breathing. But her endurance was worn, too. Seizing an opening, he grabbed her and twisted, sending both of them down with a thud. Thank God his bone had finally healed.

She tapped the ground—a gesture of surrender. "I yield."

"You're getting better at hand-to-hand." Jin remarked as he helped her up. "Good job."

She nodded. "If I may ask, how often have I trained with you?"

"Not a lot." Jin smiled, a gesture unreturned. "You weren't experienced in the start, and we sparred a couple times, but that was before…"

"…before Sir Lass?" Lire supplied.

He blinked. "Oh, um, yes. Then you remember…?"

"No, Sir Jin." No longer hindered by adrenaline, her voice resumed the flaccid monotone. "The other Chasers mentioned him to me numerous times. I understand that he had a significant involvement before my mishap."

He flashed a troubled smile. "He was."

"My lack of memory disturbs everyone." Lire remarked. "But I am able to fight. Thank you for your time, Sir Jin."

"Hey, no problem. I…Lass."

The man of the hour came into the training grounds, brooding more than usual. Seeing the fighter close to the elf, both sweating and exhausted, did not raise his spirits.

"Jin. Ryan told me she would be here."

She had foregone all trinkets that could be grabbed. Her skirt was loose enough to fight in. Elven armour was always light, allowing little restriction. He had used to tease her how loose her attire was, often making the modest elf blush and hit him. There was no modesty now.

"Sir Lass." She bowed, just as she bowed for every single Chaser, deferential yet distant. Lass looked away from the glassy expression, away from Jin's sorrowful face.

"Is there something you need from me?"

Gods. It was so hard to see her like this.

"The mission's in an hour." He said. "Just making sure you're okay."

It had been weeks, and they were still strangers. She was now healed, unhurt, but not unharmed. To be held at a distance when they once shared intimate secrets and shared 'love' was a pain he sought to flee from. What made it worse was—

"Your concern is unwarranted, Sir Lass." Lire replied. "Sir Jin is a fair mentor and sparring partner. It is good to warm up before a mission of a dangerous nature."

Irritation surged, bile ringing against his mind. "Don't go out of your way to hurt yourself before the mission."

"It was not my intention to do so. Light training before a mission furthers the chances of success."

"It also makes other people worry."

Indignation; she knew the emotion as an organic response: "In a war, many will die regardless."

"Hey, hey." Jin butted in. "That's enough. Lire, you should get ready for the mission. Go to Arme for extra potions."

"Thank you." Lire set the training gear on the rack before she made to leave, pausing to ask, "…is it the left wing or the right?"

"Left by the big doors. You can't miss it."

"Thank you," she repeated. She looked at Lass, her face forever impassive, before walking away.

Lass made to leave, but a firm hand stopped him. "The hell are you doing?"

"Don't know what you're talking about." He mumbled.

"Don't tell me you're blaming her for all of this." Jin snapped. "Just because she can't feel and remember doesn't mean you can snap at her whenever you want."

"She's not even trying to get better!"

"How do you know that?"

"Look at her, Jin—she's a husk! She's a mindless shell who can't remember anything. The only thing she can still do is fight till she dies!"

With an exhale, Jin stared, his expression softened. "She's not you."

"I never said she was." Lass shot back, defeated.

After a pause, Jin spoke up. "Her memory isn't dead."

"I know."

"Yesterday, Elesis and Arme were arguing over paperwork while you were gone."

"That's nothing new." He snorted.

"Lire broke them up."

His head snapped up. "What?"

"I couldn't hear what she said, but it deflated the tension. Or maybe they couldn't fight in front of her. When I asked, she said she always had to break up fights."

"I see."

"Amy and Arme are with her the most, helping her remember. Small details, slow progress, but progress. We're all taking turns to help."

When she was finally transferred out of the infirmary a few days ago, she was introduced to the Grand Chase all over again. It was hard to tell the full extent of her loss; she remembered Elesis and Arme the most. The last few members to join, she didn't even recognize their faces. Not that Uno or Edel especially cared, though Lime was distraught.

"Every time I see her I just—"

"Lass!" Jin tightened his grip on his shoulder. "You think pushing her away is helping? She needs you!"

"What am I supposed to do?"

"If you and her switched places, do you think she'd be doing the same as you are now?"

No, no she wouldn't. She'd be doing everything to reach out to him, accepting his outbursts and guilt with undeserved compassion. She'd be guiding him, defending him, forgiving him, loving him, showing the world and him that he was redeemable, not a lost cause. She'd never overwhelm him with mindless cheer and immature blather. She would always be waiting, trying, hoping.

"I can't force you." Jin spoke again. "You meant the most to her. If you already gave up on her then my words are pointless." He let go, turned away.

That stung. "She meant a lot to me, too."

Jin looked back. He outlived too many betrayals and broken hearts to know that words alone meant nothing. Amy had to earn his forgiveness with more than sweet whispers and concerts. She was still working hard to regain the trust of others.

No matter how he loved his oracle, her treachery would always be a shadow over their relationship. He could not defend her decision. Lire committed no such deceit, yet Lass continued to push her away even before the accident. Jin found this infuriating to say the least.

"Then act like it."

"…and that's how we defeated the leech in the Forsaken Barrows!" Arme beamed.

"Miss Elesis is afraid of ghosts."

"Yes! She still hates them, though it's harder to scare her."

"You scared her." Lire remarked. "You almost fought."

"Lire…" Arme clung to her, even now. "You really looked out for us in every mission."

Lire smiled a smile that couldn't reach her eyes. "I am glad to hear it, Miss Arme."

For all that Arme complained about being treated without respect, she looked ill at Lire's politeness. She opened her mouth, and then closed it again.

"I'm sorry I cannot remember more."

They walked through the brambles of Elven Forest, Ryan and Lass trailing behind. Perhaps the familiar surroundings would help. Furthermore, the mission here made it the perfect overlap.

"But you're trying, right?" Arme prodded.

She smiled again. "I hope so. I remember calming you and Miss Elesis. It seems a prevalent memory."

"We—fought a lot." Arme confessed. "But you were always there. We gave you a lot of trouble."

"It is all right. Eryuelle Island prepared me."

Maybe it hadn't started with Elesis and Arme.

Lass knew scraps of her early life in the island—he knew a fair bit about Mireille and their treetop-homes woven into Elder Trees. Lire recalled those times with nostalgic glee, the accidents and adventures she'd had; carefree, expressive.

Oh, it was common knowledge that Elesis and Arme had found each other barely tolerable in the beginning. Without Lire, the Grand Chase would never have gotten far. It was up to the elf to mediate, calm, and guide them to victory. Elesis was the (initially self-proclaimed) leader but Lire handled the thankless task of making each newcomer a comrade, a friend, allowing all of them to work as a team.

"Prepared you?" Arme began to ask.

Lire stiffened, moving to a clump of bushes. "They are coming."

Already Lass and Ryan had ducked under cover as the first stragglers of the rabid beasts tramped through. There was no need to fight through the horde. If they could sabotage the portal and the leader, that would be enough.

"Sir Ryan, can you sense where the Troll is?"

"It should be at the heart of the forest. We need to act quickly."

"Very well. Sir Lass and I should go ahead while you and Miss Arme finalize the traps."

"Sounds good. And Lire?"

"Yes?"

"Jo shim hae."

Lire almost seemed surprised. "Neodô."

Lire and Lass had years to learn to keep up with each other. Sometimes they'd exchange words between jumps, sharing a laugh or flirting till one of them blushed. Lire could be very sassy.

Now, she was silent. There was nothing to discuss. The mission and their actions were already established. She stared ahead, glancing only to ensure he kept up.

It wasn't as if Lass hadn't tried at all.

Some had sneered at her attempts to promote peace above all else; even Lass thought her foolish at first. Her perfect, fussy, prissy demeanour was a façade of perfection. She viewed them with contempt, arrogantly pretending to take the high road as she "made peace". She was better off as a homemaker than a soldier, where she could patronise in peace.

How wrong she had proven him.

The elves of Eryuelle were pacifists because many lived the explosion of Kounat and the war that erupted with the dwarves. The elves were outstanding fighters because many lived the explosion of Kounat and the war.

"Your thoughts?"

"Mostly of you." She would smile as he came closer.

The elves strove for peace because they were old enough to know what they lost in wars. Lire had fought for peace that would allow children to grow as children and not fodder for war, peace that would allow many to live normal lives, where nations could thrive.

He wanted to reach out to her, he really did. She reached out to him countless times since he was a prisoner. Eventually she forgave him. Later, she loved him.

"We are here, Sir Lass." She came to a stop, crouching. "It is there."

The Troll was there, all right. Jagged crystals jutted out of his backside; remnants of the portal. Its hide was tough enough without the add-ons. It was lounging around, a trail of corrupted flora in its wake.

"It is best that I distract it with my arrows while you sabotage." Lire made to move.

"No." He grabbed her arm, too roughly. "It's too early to give away our positions."

He held onto her even as she relented. Her scent was still the same. "I was intending to wait till the traps are detonated."

"I know. Just—stay close."

Holding onto her, he surveyed their target. Its hide was thick, but there were chinks in the armour: the eyes, of course. The underside of its belly, arms. Troll genitalia were fragile, which was why it kept shuffling to protect it. Exploiting just one of these openings would be enough to take it down. Binding it in place for a precision strike was the hard part.

"I will shoot for the eyes." She was now a hollow shell with a single purpose: kill. "The poison effect doesn't last long, but works quickly. That should give you enough time to strike. When it is down, kill."

Whoa. That was the most Lass heard her say since the accident, and the most callous. Worse, he could find no objection. Lire was a fighter who loved peace. Take out her love and everything that made Lire, Lire…

"Fine."

…and she was a dangerous weapon with no weakness.

Boom! Boom!

Without another word exchanged, both sprang towards their quarry.

Elesis, Lire, and Arme were the progenitors of the Grand Chase for a long time. As such, they understood each other on many levels, becoming the closest of friends. Elesis and Arme had few friends their age and gender pre-GC, and Lire was told multiple times by her elders to always be peaceful lest the humans harm her.

It had taken Lire a long time to learn that she could be herself around these humans. It was a battle to realize that she didn't have to be perfect, always the patient pacifist. She didn't have to keep them all at a distance. She was free to love, free to hate, free to live.

"The mission was a success, Leader." Lire meticulously recalled the details and aftermath. "The portal in Elven Forest has been destroyed."

Elesis cringed. She wanted to shake her, scream some sense into the last person she'd unleash her temper on. But that would only jostle Lire and break her own heart further.

"Good job." Elesis hated looking over reports. "You and Lass worked well."

"Thank you, Leader." Arme nudged her side with a pleading look Lire barely saw. "Thank you, Miss Elesis."

"Var's also looking for you, Lire. Go see him when you're free." Elesis exited the debriefing room.

If Lire was wholly incapable to processing the emotions of others, it was a coincidence she decided to speak up,

"Miss Arme?"

"Oh! Yeah?"

"Thank you."

"Oh…for?"

"I remember you and Miss Elesis. You have always been kind to me, even now when I am a liability outside missions." With a polite nod, Lire almost seemed sad.

Ignoring Ryan and Lass, Arme dared to hope. "What do you remember?"

The elf shook her head. "It is not much. But we have been to the forest before. You complained that you kept tripping over the tree roots and repeatedly requested that Miss Elesis carry you."

Ryan stifled a laugh.

"Then we met the wolf-elf. That is you, Sir Ryan." It wasn't a question as her gaze flickered.

"Yes, yes!" Arme clapped her hands. "It's good that you're remembering more than just our names and faces. Is there more?"

She frowned faintly. "It is difficult. I see places I cannot recall. But in the forest, you told me Sir Ryan was cute and fluffy."

"Did she?"

"Then you spoke in elven. If I did not understand and reply in turn, you may have killed us."

"Okay, that's good for now!" Arme clamped a hand over her mouth. "Lire, sometimes there are things that you should think before speaking."

Lire regarded the blushing face with mild confusion. "But are you and Sir Ryan not a 'couple' already?"

"Yes, but…that's not the point!" Arme squirmed.

Lire made to pat her on the head; probably muscle memory. Arme offered to accompany her to Var, but Lire already memorized where Var's laboratory was. It was the place she went to the most as she walked the corridor.

Lass wasn't Lire's official caretaker, but damn the formalities. He watched her from the shadows or lagged a great distance behind. Rufus said that was very creepy, but what did he know?

"Sir Lass?"

She stopped, waiting till he caught up to her. She regarded him coolly; he was the first to look away.

"Have I wronged you in the past?"

The question caught him off-guard. "Huh?"

"You shun me. I understand that my condition is…despicable, but I wish to make amends if I troubled you."

Instead of answering her, he looked. "Do you honestly not remember me?"

"You're Sir Lass, once under the control of Kaze'Aze. We freed you from the castle. You hide in the shadows and prefer solitude."

"…Is that really it?" He stepped forward.

"You're afraid of dogs."

He took another step, held out his palm, and concentrated. He only needed one shot. There! A crackle, a blazing rupture, then gone; it was only a small flame, gone in the next moment, but enough.

Her eyes widened.

"Blue flame…" She took a step back.

"The first time this happened, I went mad." Lass struggled to keep his voice composed. "I tried to burn everything. You found me first, back when I ran inside. You kept them away from me, but I burned you by accident."

Tents ablaze, a rising cacophony of screams and hideous laughter; he could still hear the crack of the whip as the lionesses lunged. They were calling to him—Grand Chase—the clowns—who? He tried to claw his way out, only going farther in. The flames couldn't harm him because they were him.

"You wouldn't hand me over to the Ringmaster." He kept stepping forward, her stepping backwards, till she stumbled against the wall; they were at the end of the hallway. "You pushed me towards Arme and told me that I—"

"—would never have to see that place again…" Lire finished. The mask had slipped; her shock was unfiltered. "You…were raised there. He tried to take you back."

"Hahaha! Is there something you're trying to protect? Afraid to show your new family the darkness that lurks within? Very well! Burn it all! your nightmares have just begun! Try stopping me!"

BURN IT ALL!

"I had nightmares for months." He wasn't going to let her escape. "But you were with me. Without you, I don't think…"

If Lire was uncomfortable between the wall and the assassin, she showed none of it. She saw his shoulders faintly trembling, and moved to comfort him, like she would with Miss Arme.

She had so many questions, but he was vulnerable. The Lire now knew enough of Sir Lass that he wouldn't willingly show weakness. She laid a hand on his shoulder, the other stroking his head in slow, gentle motions.

"Did I help you a lot?"

"Yes." He mumbled. "More than you know."

"Why?"

He pulled back, her expression less hardened, more inquisitive.

"We cared for each other."

A pause. Lire tried to sift through the small, albeit (slowly) growing, cache of memories she had. "Miss Rin referred to us as a 'couple'."

"She did."

"So we were romantically involved, Sir Lass?"

She could've worded that less clinically, Lass thought. "Yeah, we were."

Her next words were just as blank, but unforgiving to Lass. "Then why did you shun me?"