Many agreed that Lass and Lire made a fetching couple. It was almost poetic: the calm and loving elf slowly healing the hurt of the stoic assassin. In reality, the two quickly learned that a real relationship between the two would require hard work on both sides.
Lass had arguably endured some of the worst traumas known to any sentient creature. Even now, he was still confused by emotions that weren't rage or vengeance. Memories and nightmares haunted him day and night, all of which he preferred to contain within himself.
Lire was patient. She cared for everyone with an open heart and gentle kindness, which made her a popular diplomat. Civility, after all, was one of the few constant that everyone admired—even the nonhumans. But even she had her faults.
They argued a lot, but such disputes always ended up with mended relations and promises to do better, and try better.
She was sheltered, after all, and some called her "prissy". Time had mellowed her out to be less judgemental and prying, but she had been trained to restrain her emotions except happiness and comfort: for the sake of Elesis and Arme. For the sake of the Grand Chase. For peace.
Var had some knowledge of this. Grandiel had also exhibited these similar traits before he had disappeared. This was an integral component part of what made the elves pacifists despite their potential implying otherwise.
So Lire Eryuelle was very interesting sample.
She fought without mercy unless told that the victim must survive for questioning. If she was told to win a battle at any cost, she had no qualms about resorting to cheap tricks to assure victory. Any injury she sustained elicited no reaction, only slowed movement to accommodate the casualty.
Even when Lass struggled to answer her damning question, when Var called her over to run more diagnostics on her, she moved to obey with a polite "Excuse me, Sir Lass" as she walked to the scientist.
She was a walking paradox. She claimed to feel nothing, yet moved with vague expressions of vaguer emotion. Her memory was scant, but she recited events with what meticulous detail she possessed. Was it muscle memory?
Lass hated it, hated everything that was happening to her. He hated the war, hated the mission that made her the husk she was now.
"Professor Var."
"Miss Lire. Please sit. I trust you are feeling well?"
"Yes."
"The last mission was successful?"
"Yes."
"Are you suffering any wounds?"
"No."
"Has the drug I provided yesterday produced any ill effects?"
"No."
"Good, I have another potion for you. It's a mixture of rosemary and Elizabeth's trunk sap, along with my other personal remedies. If you come over here."
Lass didn't trust Var. He didn't even trust everyone in the Chase, let alone an outsider claiming to be a benevolent creation of Grandiel. He especially didn't trust how every test done on Lire meant more missions for her.
"Lass."
He looked up, and scowled. Like his brother, he was especially intolerant of traitors. That she walked the castle without having her throat slit was a personal favour to Jin. Even as she helped Lire with her memory, Lass didn't trust Amy.
"What."
"I'm sorry for what happened—with Lire."
Lass was pretty sure she had a lot more to be sorry about. But all he said was, "Okay."
She looked like she wanted to say more, but he kept walking. He was still the leader of the Silver Cross Thieves and the responsibilities that came with such a lofty title.
"Such an excellent creature."
"And the only one to survive that degree of exposure to Elizabeth, no less." Var agreed. "Yes, she'll be an excellent asset—more so than before, I mean."
Even the most seasoned war veterans had a breaking point. Executioners and guards needed to be rotated in shifts lest they crumbled under the stress. Emotions enabled empathy, which made enduring the brutal aspects of war difficult.
Her primary weapon was the bow; made sense, considering elves. They didn't like close combat. Safer to shoot from a safe distance, well away from any battle.
But Lire responded to orders with cutthroat efficiency. It was remarkable knowledge that she was as good at swordplay as with archery. Not to the scale of Elesis, of course; just the basic close combat with small, thin blades.
"We might be able to send her on more covert missions."
Var frowned. He knew several people that would not be very pleased with that decision.
"The war is dragging on. Whatever it takes to win the war."
"Whatever it takes." Var repeated. He observed Lire, her movements of merciless grace, her eyes filled with nothing but concentration. She moved with mechanical life, but there was no soul.
His comrade was right.
"I will see to it."
"Miss Lire, your objective is to assassinate Gaikoz. His spirit appears to have been dragged back and bound into a demonic presence."
"Yes. When will this be carried out?"
"This evening—and you can take whoever you wish. I grant you full authority as the leader for this mission. Please note that this is an extremely delicate operation."
"Yes."
She was left with the mission scroll. Careful eyes read every word, along with Var's dossiers of every able soldier.
Lire had no way of knowing that this was all a simple test. Oh, the mission was real, of course—a resurrected Gaikoz was no laughing matter. But Var had set a careful watch around the perimeter to measure Lire's success and intervene if necessary.
She went alone; that was no surprise. If this was a delicate operation, just a hit-and-run, it'd be ideal to go solo. He heard her go in, snipe a few guards, tiptoe on the ceiling, jump down, the quiet slice—and done.
Var and his fellow scientist viewed the results with quiet satisfaction.
She came back with a blank expression. Only the hem of her sleeves had traces of purple blood to prove her success.
"Well done, Miss Lire."
"Thank you."
"Was it difficult?"
"No."
"Why did you not bring anyone else with you?"
"The others shun me." She eyed her sleeve. "They are uncomfortable with me, and this was a mission ideal for one to slip in and out."
It was as Var and his colleague had predicted. "Would you accept further missions of a similar nature?"
"Do they pertain to the war efforts?"
"Absolutely." Var folded his arms. "These are, however, high-risk secret missions. Others is the Grand Chase should not be informed of them until you achieve success. You understand that doing this will weaken our enemies greatly, which is much needed considering our current line."
"…"
"Please, take your time. The decision is yours." Var waved his hand. "These missions are indeed truly dangerous, but necessary calculations. You would be a valuable asset and be provided with every resource."
"I see. Please give me some time then, to consider."
"Of course. Take all the time you need. The rest of the day is yours."
Lire obliged. She walked, thinking. She remembered Gaikoz—Ronan had been officially recruited in the castle. A deranged castle lord who had gone mad after losing his princess wife; Arme had told her so. Now she had killed him again.
What was she supposed to feel now? Back then, she felt pain as a sword that cut into her back, just a nip. She felt uncertainty as she crept into the sleeping quarters where the Knight slept. But weren't these just physical sensations that her body could receive?
Was this what she felt when she battled?
She gravitated towards the Grand Chase, particularly the ones kind enough to spare her words and explanations. Elesis and Arme were the most familiar. Jin and Ryan were friendly. Others, however, had varied reactions or were missing entirely.
Lire had lost the vibrancy of her soul, but in a strange way, the absence of emotion sharpened her awareness. She knew that she was an anomaly. She saw how their expressions contorted oddly around her before masking it with hasty smiles.
"…"
She tried to feel something for their sake. She felt stirrings of a forgotten yesterday when she was surrounded by them. They tried. Some didn't. Uno and Zero cared little for anything. Edel and Rufus thought her a liability. Others said she needed perpetual hospice care.
Lass seemed to be an amalgamation of all these thoughts. She remembered the blue flame, remembered the ghastly circus from where they escaped. She also remembered his reluctance to answer her question.
"Oh. It's you, elf."
"Lady of Crimson River." She bowed.
Ley smiled. Few of the Chase addressed her by the proper title these days. She appreciated the formality she sorely missed. "Where are you going off to?"
"I have been given leave to rest. I should attend to my fellow rangers…"
"They can wait. It's almost teatime, anyways, and you will join me."
"I—"
"Hurry up, I haven't got all day. Jeeves!"
A table was prepared with plates laden with sweets and teacups. She sat across the heiress with a quiet look.
"I guess you really are gone in the head." Ley mused. "A lot of the people can't be taking it well. Not that I care."
"As you say."
"Oh, now you sound like Jeeves." Ley made a face. "Scone?"
Lire politely obliged, biting into the pastry. "Thank you."
"How much do you remember now, elf?"
"I remember…"
Ley listened to Lire with surprising patience before rolling her eyes. "It's not a military report."
"Miss Elesis and Miss Arme are accommodating to my…condition."
"And Lass? Your little lassie?"
"He does not belong to me."
"Don't be coy. I know you haven't lost yourself entirely. He was quite sweet on you, even if he was a prick."
Lire blinked. "He avoids me now."
"Can you blame him? There's not much left of you."
"I see."
But Lire didn't see, not really. She had vague ideas, but those were it: ideas. No one told her the depth of the previous relationship. Lass had always been secretive and Lire seldom troubled others with details of her personal life. Both respected privacy very much. The only person who knew everything was Lass, and he was in no emotional state to divulge anything.
"What a funny face you're making," Ley commented.
"I apologize."
"Very well." Ley huffed. "I thought Zero was bad company."
Lire had no reply to that.
"You are mute, elf."
Lire was muter still.
"Anyways, teatime's over. Nice talk."
Lire rose. Out of some sense, she felt compelled to ask, "Lady Crimson River…why is Sir Lass avoiding me?"
"Maye because you're an empty shell of the person you used to be, what else?" Ley sniffed. "Try to feel something for the poor kid and everyone else. You were useful in keeping everyone quiet, weren't you?"
"As you say."
"Go be useful to them. Now off with you!"
Jeeves muttered an apology to Lire as she was ushered out. Now filled with scones and tea, Lire continued walking. She was indeed a husk…but was it so bad? She could still fight. She knew Var was an exacting individual. If he said she could fight, then she could.
Still, she hesitated. Var's offer was pragmatic. But that would mean less time here, where things felt familiar.
She thought of Eryuelle Island. She remembered she had a brother who now fought as the demons encroached upon elven territory. Without emotions, everything she recalled was dispassionate.
"What are you doing, Lire?"
"Miss Arme." She turned. "I am looking for Sir Lass."
"You are? I mean…yes! That's good! You're getting better!" She grabbed her hand and led the way. "Are your feelings returning?"
"I am unsure." She felt an inkling of something, but it didn't encompass her like others said it should. She was still herself. "But I would talk to him."
Arme always had been hopelessly hopeful. "This is great! Everything will be great, things will be back to normal soon…"
Normal? But what was normal? The way Arme talked about her, it was as if she had once been some champion among the Grand Chase. She was known to be the peacemaker, the source of kindness and warmth, the ever mindful hearth of the group where anyone could take a rest.
"He's at a council meeting for the Silver Cross and the Violet Guild. He should be back in an hour's time." Edel answered.
"Thanks!"
Edel nodded with a cold expression. She looked at Lire with a mix of distaste and pity before walking off.
"Don't worry about her," Arme assured, "she didn't know us for very long. She's only here because the queen asked her to, and she's like that to everyone. Let's go wait over there, I'll wait with you."
Lire nodded.
"You don't mind me here, right?"
"No, Miss Arme. You are a familiar presence."
Arme couldn't help but feel a little proud about that. Lire was kind to everyone, which made it difficult to see who she had been truly close to.
"I'm not as close to you as Lass was." Arme mused.
"Yes, everyone says that. But it does not feel so."
"He's having a hard time." She replied kindly. "He loved you."
That word held a theoretical meaning to Lire now. She understood it; she saw the expressions of it, but without emotions to experience—
"But not anymore."
"That's…that's not true." That sounded weak even to Arme. "He just doesn't know how to handle it. I'm sure he still cares for you."
"Why?"
"He's just mourning, Lire." Arme looked at her sadly. "Mourning takes time. He's still hurting."
"I see."
"How're you feeling?"
"I don't know."
Lire turned to Arme after a few moments of silence. The mage looked forlorn, and by instinct Lire moved to lay a hand on her head and mutter quietly as if out of habit, "it's all right, Miss Arme. Speaking to you is very enjoyable."
Arme looked startled, before breaking into a small smile. The Lire she loved was still there and the familiar gesture and words touched her deeply.
"I'll do my best to restore you back, Lire."
"Thank you."
Lass came back to quite an unexpected sight: Arme laughing and chattering away like a child as lire sat beside her, an inquisitive glimmer in her dead eyes and her mouth having the ghost of a smile.
"Arme. Edel told me you were looking for me." He quietly interrupted.
"Oh, Lass! Lire was looking for you. Lire, should I…?"
"No, Miss Arme. I do not mind you staying."
Lass was surprised that Lire would seek him out; most likely another member insisted on this. "What is it?"
"You have not answered my previous question, Sir Lass."
Now Lass wish she sent Arme away, but she stayed, curious.
"Because…because I didn't know how to handle it, how to handle…you. I'm sorry about that."
"I understand that we were romantically involved and that I can no longer contribute to the relationship. Do you still wish to remain a 'couple'?"
Arme caught her breath.
"What do you mean by that?" Lass asked sharply.
"I am aware that you loved me and my current condition leaves me unable to exhibit complex emotion. You are a complex person and there is "not much left" of me. What should I attempt to feel for you?"
Lass' face went pale before he forced composure. "You don't need to attempt to feel anything for me, Lire. Just focus on getting better."
"I do not know how. But until then, I realize I cannot give you the emotional fulfillment you need for your many life tragedies. What is the best course of action for this?"
How could she say them so casually? Lass felt every word pierce him. If she remembered him, why was she so callous?
"Lire, just…" Lass' gaze turned cold as he congealed his remaining broken feelings in ice. "Do whatever compels you. If you don't feel anything for me, then that's fine; you should focus more on how to contribute to the war effort before focusing on emotions."
He thought she hesitated for a bit before replying with "I see."
"What do you feel towards me now, exactly?"
"I am uncertain. Lady Crimson River told me that I was an integral part of the group. Miss Arme and Miss Amy tell me many things to help me remember and feel. Yet you continue to avoid me. I am unsure if we had such a close relationship as the others say."
"Doesn't matter anymore, does it?" Lass snapped. "What's done is done. You're an empty shell who can't feel, can't do anything by herself…can you even think for yourself?"
"Stop it, stop it! Don't say that to Lire!" Arme screamed, putting the elf behind her. Arme was a great deal shorter than Lass, but that seemed inconsequential as she glared up at the assassin. "How could you say that to her?!"
"Shove it, Arme. I'm not talking to you." Lass scowled at the intruder.
"And you shouldn't be talking like that to her. I know you and Lire argued before she went on that mission. This isn't about her at all, it's all about you." To Lire, "Come on; don't worry about anything he said."
She pulled the elf away and Lire obediently followed. She spared one last glance at Lass, who had already walked around a corner and was out of sight.
It was odd to Lire that Arme cried. What Sir Lass had said was never aimed at the mage—all at her. So why would she cry?
"Miss Arme, please do not cry. You said that Sir Lass was hurting. He meant no ill will to you."
"I know." Arme swallowed. "I didn't think he would be that cruel. He must've been really hurt."
"I'm sorry."
"Sorry? Lire, you have nothing to be sorry about. You never intended all this. It's all…all so terrible." Arme heaved a shuddering sigh. "Ignore everything Lass said, okay? I'll talk to Ronan and Jin; maybe they can knock some sense into him."
"As you wish. But, Miss Arme, why are you crying?"
She exhaled as her gaze darted about. Eventually, she replied, "What he said was mean…and you don't get it. I guess I'm crying for you."
Lire quietly pondered this. The light bit of feeling she had was long gone, leaving her cold. But what Miss Arme said…she felt no need to say anything other than:
"Thank you."
She walked quietly to Var's laboratory.
"Miss Lire. Why have you come in at such a late hour?"
"I apologize."
"It is all well. I do not sleep. What can I do for you?"
"I have come to accept your proposal."
Var cocked his head. "You reached this decision quickly."
"I have debated it. My presence among the others does more harm than good. I believe that I will be more useful carrying out single missions than cause emotional unrest among the others."
"A wise argument. But, Miss Lire, these missions pose considerable risk."
"I am willing to accept them."
The quiet hum of the machines settled on the pair.
"Very well. How soon would you like to begin?"
"As soon as the need for me arises."
"Most fortunate. There so happens to be a reconnaissance scout needed for the remnants of the Forgotten City. Will you come this way? This mission is confidential."
Lire obeyed.
Watching this exchange, Var's fellow scientist couldn't help but grin. "See, I told you she'd be a good asset."
"I have never doubted you, Grenore." Var replied with a questioning smile.