Thank you to 2brown-eyes, ceceprincess1217, gabby1017, and DICATAKADD for pre-reading, and to SunflowerFran for editing. Any remaining mistakes are my own
Song for this chapter, On My Word of Honor, by The Platters. Though, the one from the last chapter, My Secret, works here, too. ;)
Chapter 3
Bella
The next morning, before the sun has even made an appearance, the smell of something burning rouses me from my sleep. Reaching over, I find our sheets cold and my husband missing. All of these confusing thoughts cause me to stumble out of bed and go to the window, searching, at least, for the source of the smell.
My husband is outside in just his slacks and undershirt, standing before one of the metal garbage cans, the flames dancing out of it in the pre-dawn light, devouring the paper bag full of last night's bloody memories.
It's in this moment I realize my husband has secrets; secrets I may never want to know.
Watching him dress for the day is a lesson in patience. He's frustrated, struggling with shaking hands, first with his shirt buttons, then his tie. He must have had enough, because the tie is suddenly ripped from his neck, and thrown across the room.
"Dammit!"
I rise from my perch on the bed and bend to pick up the discarded tie.
"Can I help?" I carefully approach him, mindful of the mood he's been in all morning. He only nods in response.
"Why the fancy duds today, anyway? I know the bowling alley doesn't have this kind of dress code."
"I, uh, I've got a meeting in the city. Uncle Tony is taking me to meet his boss."
The tie slips from my fingers, my hands now gripping his suspenders.
"His boss? You mean ..."
"Yeah, Mr. LaRocca. We, uh, we have a lunch meeting with him, so I need to get outta here soon. I just wish I could get my damn tie to cooperate," he says, with a weary laugh, trying to lighten the mood, I'm sure.
"But Eddie, Mr. LaRocca is a..."
"A respected businessman." He gives me a pointed look. "And if this works out, I'll be making more money, and we'll hopefully be able to get our own place soon. Isn't that what you want? A home of our own?"
"Well, yeah, but not if it means you'll be working for—" He cuts me off with a kiss, leaving me breathless. Pulling away from me, his expression leaves no room for argument.
"Enough. Look, I'm sorry, but it's my job to take care of you, and this is the best way I see how I can do that."
"Is it gonna be your job to come home every night like you did last night, covered in bl—"
"Enough!" His outburst silences me. He's never raised his voice to me before, not once, and it brings tears to my eyes. "This isn't up for discussion."
I nod and sit back on the bed, sufficiently chastised, unable to look at him.
"I should be back for dinner tonight," he says over his shoulder as he leaves. The silence that takes over after he walks out is deafening. He's never left me without a kiss, an I love you, or even a simple goodbye ... ever. The tears come quickly, and I crawl back into bed, unsure of what I did wrong.
And bed is where I stay until Mrs. Cullen comes to check on me. Eventually, I leave the solace of our room and join her downstairs in the kitchen. The longer I'm with her today, the more tension I feel surround me. Mrs. Cullen must know something about what her son is up to, because she hasn't been able to look me in the eye all day.
When Emmett, Alice, and the younger children return home from school, their moods are quickly subdued as well, taking cues from us. The house is fairly quiet as they do their homework, and Riley takes his afternoon nap.
Working together to get dinner on the table, I keep glancing at the clock. It's after six, and Edward should've been home by now. His empty chair is the focus of the room, his absence glaring.
The conversation at the table is minimal, at best. Even the younger ones are being quiet, so when Alice pipes up, it's a surprise to us all.
"So, Ma, I heard at school that the cops raided Uncle Tony's place, the bowling alley, a couple days back. Something about illegal booze. How come Eddie didn't mention anything?"
I cough, nearly choking on my meatloaf. Looking around at the stunned faces, I see two that aren't, but should be. Mr. and Mrs. Cullen exchange a look that says they already knew all about this incident. It's Mr. Cullen that answers her.
"Now, I'm sure there's an explanation, Alice. Maybe it was just a mix up over paperwork. I know Uncle Tony runs a tight ship over there. I'm sure Eddie just ... forgot to mention it to us."
Mrs. Cullen's smile and nod of agreement ends the inquisition, even though I still have questions. But I know better than to voice them here, in front of the children. I exchange a look with both Alice and Emmett, and they look like they have more questions of their own.
As we clear the dishes away and begin to clean the kitchen, Mrs. Cullen takes my hand.
"Bella, go on upstairs and put your feet up. I can have Alice help me tonight." I know she's trying to give me a reason to excuse myself, as I'm sure she can see the worry on my face. I decide not to look a gift horse in the mouth.
"If you're sure."
"Of course. Thank you for all your help today, Bella."
I just nod, and head upstairs.
It's almost eight in the evening now, and the events of the last twenty-four hours, all the different emotions I've dealt with are catching up to me, and I'm suddenly exhausted. Deciding to dress for bed, I go through my routine, and just as I'm turning down the covers to slide in, there's a knock at my door.
"Hey." Alice pops her head into the room, a guarded smile on her face. "Got a minute?"
"Yeah, what's up?"
She slips through the door, and sits down on the bed, next to me. She looks like she wants to say something, but can't find the words. She takes several breaths, as if she's going to start talking, but instead decides not to. When she finally gathers her courage, her question is blunt.
"Is Eddie working for Uncle Tony? Like, in the city, not at the bowling alley?"
I can't say I'm surprised by her question. It's something, I'm sure, we're all thinking.
"I don't know, Alice. He won't ..." I take a breath, trying to keep the ever-present tears at bay. "He won't talk to me." My attempt to keep from crying is futile, and I'm soon sobbing on Alice's shoulder. She has no idea how to comfort me, just simply holding me while I get it all out.
When I finally settle down into bed, the exhaustion I felt earlier disappears, and my mind is spinning. Thoughts, questions for my husband about what he's been doing swirl around in my mind. Maybe he's ashamed that his meager wages couldn't support us, and that's why he went to his uncle. Honestly, I'm content for now, to stay here. Having his mom, the rest of his family, to help us with the baby is something I think we're gonna need. I just wish he'd talk to me.
The loud voice of my husband coming from downstairs gets my attention.
"That's what I'm trying to do!"
"Not this way, Edward. There are lots of other options for you to take care of your family."
"Like you? Slaving away in some damn steel mill my entire life? No, that's not what I want for my family. I want something better!"
"But at what cost, Edward? You're selling your soul."
"You just weren't man enough to step up when Uncle Tony offered you more!"
The tense silence that follows is long. It's Mr. Cullen who breaks it.
"No, Edward, I was man enough to walk away from it. But, if you're set on this, just promise me that you'll make sure Bella is taken care of if anything happens to you?"
"This is all for her, Pop."
No more is said, and it's a little while before Edward comes quietly into our room. In the darkness, I watch him undress down to his boxer shorts. He pulls back the covers, slipping into bed, all the while I'm feigning sleep. His arm wraps around my middle, and his hand is drawn to the squirming going on in my belly.
His face nuzzles into my neck, the feel of his warm breaths tickling me. Whispered words I'm sure I'm not supposed to hear, make their way to my ear.
"It's all for you. Both of you."
The coming weeks are hard. He's withdrawn, and his smiles are fewer and further in between. He's gone later and later, coming home sometimes just as the sun is rising. He tells me he got the job in the city and that his paychecks are going toward a surprise. He brings me gifts, his mother too; new clothes, jewelry, things we talked about wanting for the baby, but not needing. But the day he hands me a small box is the day so many things begin to change.
"What is it?"
"Just open it." His smile is so big I can't refuse him. Opening it, I find a key.
"What is this to?"
"Come on, let's go for a drive. I wanna show you something."
The drive into the city is longer than I'm used to, the busy streets too crowded for my liking. Winding our way through a neighborhood, he pulls to a stop in front of a two-story brick home, complete with a covered front porch.
"Whose place is this?" I ask him, confused. "Are we visiting someone?"
"Not quite." He hops out, coming around to my side, opening my door for me. Carefully stepping out into the early summer heat, he helps me to my feet.
"Welcome home, Mrs. Cullen." His face is lit up with a face-splitting grin.
"What? Home?" I gasp. "This place is ours?"
"Ours. Well, Junior's too, when he gets here."
I'm speechless. So much so, that I don't say a word as he leads me to the front door. Walking inside, everywhere I look there are new things to see. New furniture fills the space, even a television set in the living room. He drags me from room to room, showing me all of our new things. I'm overwhelmed. Even the baby's room is decked out.
The thought repeatedly going through my mind is wondering what my husband had to do to earn the money for this place. I'm so distracted by my thoughts that I almost miss his question.
"Do you like it?"
"Of course, it's perfect. But Edward, anywhere with you is perfect. You're my home. All of this is just ... stuff," I say, as I walk into his arms.
"I just want the best for you and the baby."
"I already have the best," I whisper into his chest as his lips kiss the top of my head.
The days and weeks to follow are stressful. I was just finding my feet, living with the Cullens, learning how to be a wife, watching how Mrs. Cullen took care of her children, when we moved out of their house. Now, I'm home alone most days, most nights too. I watch a few evening programs on the television, or I play records on the fancy stereo we have. I spend a lot of time going through the baby's things, making sure we have what we need. I almost never see Alice, even though it's summer. She says she can't get a ride into the city, which could be true since there's a new Cullen in the house, baby Jacob, but I think it's because Mr. Cullen doesn't want her around here and the people her brother could potentially expose her to.
Doing the weekly shopping at the market, even at the neighborhood deli, I notice people treat me differently. I don't need to carry cash with me; I already have accounts that apparently are being paid. I get what feels like special treatment. But, all the special treatment in the world doesn't make up for missing my husband. I eat most of my evening meals alone in front of the television.
When he does come home, he's ... distant. Sure, he brings me pretty baubles to make up for missing him, but I'd rather have him.
His uncle joins us occasionally, with the constant presence of men he calls his associates, and it makes me uneasy. And Edward is different around him, too. His carefree smile and laugh are nonexistent. It's all business. And occasionally, I'm ... dismissed.
The late summer day I go into labor, Edward is nowhere to be found. I call Mrs. Cullen, who thankfully makes it into the city to get me to the hospital in time, all the smallest Cullens packed into the backseat. She can't stay with me, needing to get the children home, but I understand. The hours I spend by myself, waiting, I also spend thinking, wondering if this is how I want to spend the rest of my life. Thoughts of packing up and moving back in with the Cullens just so I won't be alone, cross my mind many times.
When I wake from the fog of the anesthesia, sore and groggy, my room is empty. I had hoped I would wake to the sight of Edward holding our little one, a smile on his face, making the introductions. But it wasn't meant to be. A nurse wheels the baby in, placing the blue bundle in my arms.
"Thank you," I whisper to her, tears in my eyes. They are a mixture of tears—tears of joy, and tears of heartache. Looking down into the face of my angel, I am helped make amazed that I something so perfect.
"Hello, little one. I'm your mama." His little eyes peek open, dark blue staring back at me. "I'm so happy to meet you. I wish ..." I take a deep breath before blowing it out, trying to keep the tears at bay. "I wish your papa was here to meet you." Silent tears stream down my face, sobs wracking my body. I hold my son close, breathing him in, trying to calm myself.
It is several hours later that Edward makes his appearance. He rushes in, disheveled, looking frantic, carrying flowers and a ridiculously huge, stuffed bear. When he bursts through the door, his eyes scan the room, finally landing on the little bundle in my arms. My stolen minute with him before he's whisked back to the nursery is almost up.
"Is that ..." He clears his throat. "Is that my son?" His voice is raspy, and he's a little out of breath.
"It is. Come meet him."
He steps slowly toward us, peeking over my arm to get a good look, finally settling on the bed next to us.
"My God. He's beautiful, baby. Looks just like you." He leans down, kissing my forehead. "You did good."
"You wanna hold him?"
"What? No, I don't think I should." He's shaking his head. But before he can get too far away, I place the baby in his arms. "Oh my God." His whisper is quiet; the following silence, reverent.
He looks down into my eyes then. "I can't tell you how sorry I am, Bella. I'm so sorry I wasn't here."
"Where were you?" I ask in a whisper.
He's hesitant to answer, not meeting my eyes as I stare up at him. When I finally catch his gaze, he reluctantly answers. "I was out with Felix. We had something to do for Uncle To—"
"Don't," I interrupt. "I don't want excuses ... not today ... please," I whisper.
"I'm so sorry, Bella. I promise, I promise to be home more. Things are finally settling down with work, and my schedule is opening up some. I shouldn't have to be gone so much. I'll do my best to be there for you, both of you. And I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for being gone so much. I was doing what I had to do to get things in order, to prove myself, but that part is done. I'll be home more now."
"Eddie, please don't make promises you can't keep. I don't ... I don't think I can take it."
He leans back over, kissing me on my lips this time.
"I promise, Bella. If there's anything I've learned working for Uncle Tony, it's that my word is the only thing I have. Without it, I'm nothing."
He keeps his word. He's home most evenings, even getting up at night with the baby when I need him to. I understand that sometimes he needs to leave for 'meetings,' or to have muffled telephone conversations in his office on occasion. We even have dinner together most nights.
"So, my daddy called here this morning." I glance up from my plate as I say this, looking for his reaction.
"Really? What did he want?" Edward tries, unsuccessfully, to look uninterested.
"He wanted to borrow money, can you believe that?"
"I can't say I'm surprised, Bella. I'm sure he was drunk. He gambles his way through his paycheck every Friday before the ink is even dry on it."
"Yeah, you're probably right."
"So, what did you tell him?"
"That we didn't have anything to loan him. I don't have access to anything more than a little pocket change compared to what he wanted."
"What was he asking for?"
"He wanted a thousand dollars! Can you believe that? Like we would have that kind of money lying around." I just shake my head.
Meanwhile, Edward's expression is unreadable. He's distracted the rest of the meal. When Eddie Junior starts to cry, I get up to feed him. Edward walks past us on his way to his study, leaning down for a kiss as he goes.
"I've got a call to make, then maybe we can have some of that cobbler you made, yeah?"
"Yeah."
After getting the baby settled, I straighten the kitchen, glancing at the clock every once in a while. Edward has been in his study for a long time. Thinking maybe he nodded off, I decide to check on him.
Not wasting the opportunity to surprise him, I plate up some cobbler, and quietly stride down the hallway. As I approach his office door, I see it cracked just slightly. I know we need to replace this knob; it's always sticking. Just before I push it open, I hear Edward's irritated voice.
"Is that really necessary? I mean, I know he's behind on his payments, but —" His words are cut off by whoever is on the other end. "No Sir, I understand." More silence. "Yes, yes, I know. I will. Mmmhmm. I know, Sir. She won't. All right. Yes, goodnight."
Before I can get caught eavesdropping, I knock.
"Come in." Walking in, I can see his hands woven into his hair; something he only does these days when he's incredibly stressed. "Aren't you a sight for sore eyes. Come over here." He pats his lap, and I take the invitation. As I sit, he takes the plate from me, but sets it on his desk instead.
"Don't you want any?"
He wraps his arms around me, squeezing.
"I do, I just wanna hold you more. Is that okay?"
"Of course." I'm tucked under his chin, encircled by his arms, as if he's trying to protect me from something, but what? "Everything okay, Edward?"
"It will be. I just ... I just love you so much, Bella. Don't ever forget that." His words, in a way, frighten me. It's like he's trying to tell me something. I reach up and hold his face in my hands.
"I love you too."
That night, after we've put the baby down for bed, we find our way to each other in the darkness, making love until we're both spent. Around one a.m., the baby's whimpers wake me. It takes me a moment to realize I'm alone in bed. My tired eyes scan the room, and I watch as Edward dresses in his slacks and dress shirt. Before I can say anything, I watch him reach into his dresser drawer, pulling out a revolver. I cover my mouth, stifling a gasp. Thankfully, the baby has begun to cry in earnest, and he doesn't hear me. The cries are louder now, though, and I can't pretend any longer. My feet hit the floor, and I go to our son, his sobbing causing me a physical ache.
"It's all right, EJ, Mama's here."
"Everything okay?" Edward says popping his head into the room.
"Yeah, things are fine." I get the baby settled at my breast, then turn back to my husband. "Where are you off to?"
"I've got somewhere I need to be. I shouldn't be gone too long."
"Edward, it's one in the morning! Where are you going?"
"It's work. I'll be back soon." Stepping into the room, he leans down to kiss me, then the baby. "I love you both so much. Never forget that." He looks into my eyes, his words seeming to have more weight than usual. "I should be back by sun up, then I'll take you to breakfast, all right?"
"Yeah. Just ... be careful, okay?"
"Of course. Love you."
"Love you." And then, he's gone. The quiet of the house makes me sleepy, and after settling down the baby, I crawl back into bed.
I wake to sunlight streaming through the windows, light made brighter by a blanket of fresh snow judging by what I can see on our neighbor's roof as I peer through the open curtains. I reach over, hoping to find my husband, but he's not there. Not hearing the baby just yet, I take advantage of it, and hop out of bed and make it. I dress for the day, wanting to be ready when Edward gets home, so we can go get that breakfast he promised. Tidying the room only takes a few minutes.
An out of place piece of paper on the floor draws my attention. It looks like a folded sheet from one of the notepads from Edward's office. Reaching down, a sense of foreboding comes over me, as if my soul knows I shouldn't look at it. Unfolding it, taking in what I see, all the air in my body leaves me in a whoosh.
Charles Swan
$5K
77 K St
Pittsburgh
At that moment, my husband's secrets are staring me in the face.
The Boy
The drive to Jerry's is quiet, the city still in the darkness of the late hour. Wet snowflakes begin to fall as we near our destination, coating the tops of cars and roofs we pass in a fresh blanket of white. I allow my thoughts to drift, consciously or unconsciously avoiding the task that lies ahead of me, and idly wonder if it will snow enough that Bella will need to shovel the walk if I'm not home in time to do it.
When we pull up to the unassuming brick building, you can't tell from the outside it's a bit more than a bar and club. Jerry runs a card game in the back, some of the city's high rollers make this their choice of venue to prey on those naïve enough to think they can win a few bucks.
It's behind the door leading to Jerry's back room where we find Charlie Swan being hauled out by his collar by one of said high rollers, Jimmy Amato, nephew to LaRocca's underboss, Frank Amato.
We hide in the shadows while Jimmy and one of his guys take turns taking swings at the old man until he's on the snow-dusted ground.
"You think you can show up here owing me money and asking for more?" Jimmy screams as he lands a kick to Charlie's gut.
"I'll have it soon, I just need to—"
"Save it!" Jimmy says as he lands a few more blows.
"We'll take it from here, Jimmy." Felix steps out from our spot in the shadows as he drops his spent smoke to the wet pavement, snuffing it out with his shoe.
Jimmy's head whips around, his eyes squinting in the faint glow of a distant street lamp. "Felix? That you?"
"Yeah. Tony sent us down here to collect a payment, but it looks like you might have a beef with him, too?" he asks, pointing down at a moaning Charlie.
"You could say that. Son of a bitch already owes me a grand, and he's askin' for another loan." Jimmy turns his head and spits on my father-in-law.
Felix steps closer, his hand landing on Jimmy's shoulder. "How about you go on inside, have a drink, see if Jerry has any broads lined up for the night, and we'll take care of it, huh?"
Jimmy huffs, but nods. "Yeah, sure. I wasn't wantin' to get my hands dirty tonight anyway." He turns to walk back inside, but Felix calls after him.
"And as far as you gettin' that dough back, you'll have to take it up with your uncle," he says as he crouches next to Charlie.
"Yeah, yeah," Jimmy calls over his shoulder and disappears through the doorway.
"Tsk tsk tsk," Felix says with a disapproving shake of his head as he stares down at the man on the ground. "Looks like you're racking up debt all over the city, there, Chuck. Five thousand," he says before he whistles, long and low, shaking his head slowly. He leans in close to whisper. "You're making quite a name for yourself, and not in a good way. People are starting to talk. They know who you've been borrowing from, and if you don't pay up, it makes Tony and Frank, even Mr. LaRocca, look bad. Like they can't keep tabs on the men who owe them money. And LaRocca doesn't like to look bad. He starts to notice when people don't pay up." He pulls away, meeting Charlie's eyes. "And he's indirectly sent us to collect."
"I don't have it, but I'll—"
"So you don't have it?" Felix asks.
"No, but I—"
"Eddie, you're up." Felix stands and steps to the side, motioning for me to get on with it.
"Me?" I ask, my voice cracking.
Felix's grin is anything but friendly. "Figure it's best if you handle this one." He steps closer to me and speaks quietly. "Wouldn't want you to have any second thoughts about all this when the fuzz find him. He is your wife's father after all."
I nod, swallowing the lump that's suddenly in my throat as I grab the pistol from my coat pocket. With trembling hands, I raise the weapon and try not to look into his eyes; eyes so much like Bella's they almost make me turn and run.
"No! Please, no! I'll get the money, I swear! Please don't do this to Bella! Please!" Charlie gets up on his hands and feet, trying to crab crawl away from me, slipping and sliding on the wet ground in his hurry to get as much distance from me as he can.
When I hesitate just a bit too long, Felix reminds me of my place. "It's him or you, Eddie. The Boss doesn't take too kindly to his orders being ignore—"
The blast from my revolver echoes in the quiet of the alley. A single shot to Charlie's head renders him still and lifeless, his blood splattered on the fresh snow beneath him and his blank eyes staring back at me, making me question when my life took such an abrupt turn.
If anyone is interested there are some fascinating articles I found online about the Pittsburgh crime families. While I've chosen to use some historically accurate names, the situations Edward & Co will find themselves in are absolutely, completely fictional. But if you're looking for an interesting read ...
On both Wikipedia and Mafiahistory's websites there is some really cool info on the history of the Pittsburgh organized crime families, including the years LaRocca led the family. I tried to list the links, but FFN is not cooperating. I'll be sure to post them on my FB group page for anyone interested.
This will start weekly posts on Thursdays. Unless of course something comes up, but Thursdays are the plan!
I'll be on the road today, headed from Ohio to the Carolina mini-meetup that takes place this weekend to see a few of my fic sisters (Yay!), so review replies may not be until early next week.
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See you next week!