Thank you to 2brown-eyes, ceceprincess1217, gabby1017, and DICATAKADD for pre-reading, and to SunflowerFran for editing. Any remaining mistakes are my own ... especially since I fiddled with it after she worked on it. ;)
Song for this chapter, I'm Sorry by The Platters.
Chapter 6
Bella
When Esme and I return to the dining room, the tension is tangible, and I have no idea what's happened in our absence. Carlisle's tight expression gives nothing away, but the glares Edward and Jasper are exchanging make me wonder what I've missed.
Alice is trying her best to smile in my direction, but it looks forced. Even Emmett, usually jovial and able to lighten any mood, has given up and moved to the smaller table in the other room with his brothers and youngest sister.
"So, who is ready for dessert?" I ask from my spot in the doorway.
The cheers from the children fill the silence, and their excitement for chocolate cake brings a smile to my face. Alice offers to help me, her eyes pleading to give her an excuse to leave the table.
"This looks so good," she says as I place a slice on yet another plate.
I smile, tight though it may be. "Thanks. It's your mom's recipe, so I hope it passes inspection."
"I'm sure it will."
We work side by side, dishing up dessert, and I finally work up the nerve to ask her about what the angry looks between her boyfriend and brother were all about.
"You noticed that, did you?" she asks, exasperation lacing her tone.
"I did," I say with a nod. "I didn't realize they knew each other."
She waves away my comment. "They don't, not really. I guess they've seen each other around, crossed paths or something, and for whatever reason, there's an issue. I'll ask Jasper about it, but I'm sure it's nothing."
She's silent as she places a fork on each dessert plate. "So, um, everything good with you and Eddie?"
"Sure," I say quickly, glancing at her. "Why wouldn't they be?"
She shrugs. "I don't know. You two don't look ... happy anymore. Just ..." She looks up at me. "I'm just worried about you, ya know? Here in the city, all alone most of the time. With my brother working so much ... I just wish I was closer, that's all. I could help more."
I reach my arm around her shoulders, pulling her to my side. "And I appreciate that, Alice, but you've got school and a new boyfriend." I sigh. "You don't need to be worried about us and our old, married people problems." I try to keep my tone light, but she sees right through it.
"So there are problems?" she asks, looking up at me.
"I didn't say that. I—"
"Yes, you did."
I shake my head. "No, what I meant was, being married means you get a whole new list of issues to work out, and your brother and I are just ... finding our way, I guess."
She steps back, studying me closely before questioning me. "But you'd tell me if you needed someone to talk to?"
Knowing the issues her brother and I are dealing with are more than she's ready or able to handle, I offer her the only reassurance I can. "If there ever comes a time when I need your advice, you'll be the first one to know, Alice."
Later, after seeing everyone out, I busy myself with cleaning the mess left behind after having a house full of dinner guests while Edward steps onto the porch to have a cigarette; another new habit he's picked up while working for his uncle. He closes up the house for the night as I put EJ to bed. Edward and I do almost everything possible to stall the inevitable conversation we need to have, from him tinkering in his office to me rearranging my books on the bookcase in the living room.
"Bella," he says from behind me. It's the first time he's addressed me directly in days.
"Yes?" I reply softly.
"It's late. We should go to bed."
I nod, surprised at his sudden willingness to speak to me. His footsteps can be heard retreating, then going up the stairs. Unable to stall any longer, I place my book back on the shelf and head upstairs myself.
My nightgown and matching cotton robe are hanging on the back of the bathroom door, so I bypass our room altogether. I wash my face, brush my hair and teeth, and change out of my clothes and into my nightclothes.
Stepping into our room, the bedside lamps are lit, casting a soft glow on the walls and bed. Edward is sitting up, resting against the headboard with his shirt off. Even as angry as I've been with him, hurt by his secrets and actions, I still can't help but feel a small wave of want for the man in my bed. But when I meet his eyes I can feel the distance his secrets have put between us, and I know it isn't the man in my bed I want, but the boy I married. I want the boy who would tell me anything ... the one who would never lie to me ... the one who would hold me like a priceless treasure in his gentle hands.
I step to our bedside and turn off the lamp before slipping off my robe and sliding under the covers. I'm lying with my back to him, facing the wall, and the silence stretches between us, each knowing the other is awake. He's the first to break that silence.
"I asked Tony to try and get me in with one of his other guys," he says quietly. "Something that didn't keep me away from you and EJ so much. It's, uh, it's safer, too. It's mostly driving Mr. Amato between meetings and other functions." He hesitates. "I'll still get called away, but hopefully not as much."
The clock ticks in the quiet of the room for several minutes before he realizes I'm not going to speak.
"I'm sorry, Bella," he says just above a whisper. "You have no idea how sorry I am for putting my hands on you, for making you cry." He shifts his weight and is at my back, his hand gingerly resting on my hip and his breath hot on my neck as he speaks. "I'm sorry I hurt you, and I promise to never do that to you again." His final plea is a whispered one. "Do you think you can ever forgive me?"
"You scared me." My voice is broken, the emotions swirling around my already muddled head too much to process.
"I know, and I'm —"
"How can I know you won't do that again?"
"No, Bella, no. I—"
"How do I know next time you won't take out your anger on our son?"
The room falls silent, and my pulse is pounding in my ears in the sudden quiet.
"Because it would kill me to ever see that look in your eyes again, baby." The warmth of his whisper against my neck causes goosebumps to rise on my skin.
The pain of the last several weeks, from losing my father and the chance of ever having a real relationship with him, to my suspicions of my husband's involvement, to his refusal to tell me anything, have all taken its toll on our relationship, and I'm ready to move on from it. My decision has already been made.
"You're already forgiven." Before we can get past all this, though, there's something I know I need from him if we're going to get back to where we were. "But I need you to make me a promise." I roll onto my back and look into his eyes, his profile lit softly by his still glowing lamp. "I need you to talk to me."
He starts to speak, to remind me of what he can't tell me, but I silence him with my fingers over his lips.
"I know you can't tell me everything, but I need you to give me something. Even if it's just to tell me how you're feeling. We can't let this stuff get bottled up anymore." I inhale and narrow my eyes. "And a job change or promotion or whatever it was is something to share with your wife before you tell the rest of your family. Do you have any idea how I felt, finding out that way? To know you think so little of me to not even discuss it with me?" I huff a breath of frustration. "It's not like you need my permission or anything, or even want to know what I think, but it would have been nice to know. I felt kind of blindsided tonight."
"I'm sorry," he says softly, his fingers brushing an errant hair from my face. "I'll tell you what I can, but I need you to remember there won't be much I can tell you, not about what I do anyway."
I search his eyes, and they're pleading with me to agree, to trust him. And there, in the dim light of the room, I see just a glimpse of the boy I married, the one who used to tell me his secrets and open his heart to me. I know if that boy, hidden somewhere deep inside, is to ever again see the light of day, I need to acquiesce.
"Okay."
His kiss is gentle, hesitant and unsure, but when I reciprocate, his touch has more intent as he reaches for the hem of my nightgown. My skin warms at the contact as his fingertips follow the curve of my calf to the back of my knee just before he hitches it up, hooking my leg around his waist. He settles between my now parted thighs, a tingling firing across my skin. It causes a low moan to sound at the back of my throat, unbidden. It only spurs him on, to push harder, his hardness grinding against my center.
The fabric of my nightgown is now bunched around my waist, a barrier between our bodies. He pulls away, his stare intense as he grips the hem and quickly pulls it over my head and tosses it into the dark corner of the room. No words are spoken as his body once again covers mine, and as every inch of him touches every inch of me, the feeling is nearly overwhelming.
I allow the sensations to wash over me, to take me to a place where nothing else matters; where there are no late night meetings, so secrets between us, where we can just be together. We've not come together like this, or even shared a bed, in far too long, and the emotion of the last several days, weeks, months, quickly overtakes us. We've always been affectionate, passionate even, but this feels different. It's reassurance from me, and a promise from him, of better days ahead. And as I allow him back into my body, I feel like it's the first step in allowing him back into my heart.
The Boy
I hold open the door of the Cadillac for Jimmy, Mr. Amato's nephew, and he steps out onto the sidewalk. The two broads he has hanging from his arms tonight, one blonde and one redhead, do their best to straighten themselves before letting him lead them into the club.
They'd given him quite the ride in the back seat as we drove through the city, and I did my best to divert my eyes. But when he caught me glancing into the rearview mirror, the smug grin on his face told me he didn't mind in the slightest. It was a favor to Mr. Amato to drive his nephew tonight, and so far, the guy is grating on my nerves.
After making sure my charge has made it safely inside the club, I park the car and wait. This is the part no one tells you about this particular job, the endless hours spent waiting for the more important men to finish whatever business they're conducting, be it actual business or pleasure. I'm on my second cigarette when Phil, my Uncle Tony's driver, comes around the corner, shouting my name. I snuff out my smoke and jog over to see what he needs.
"What's up?"
"Your uncle is requesting your presence," he says with a roll of his eyes.
My eyes go wide, and Phil laughs. "You should see your face! Nah, man, don't worry. I think he just wants you to come inside and have a good time," he says, still laughing as he pats me on the shoulder as we walk back to the club.
As we step through the door, the music is loud, but not so much so you can't have a conversation. The air is smoky, and the drinks are flowing. Men and women fill the dance floor, and the band plays from the small stage. It's Friday night, so all the men are here with their girlfriends or goomahs, and having free rein to do as they please means some of the men are taking liberties with some of the unattached ladies milling around. I switch my focus to my uncle and try to ignore the rest of the room.
"Eddie, my boy!" Tony's boisterous welcome makes me smile as I'm led to their table. I nod my hello to the others seated there as I shake my uncle's hand before taking a proffered seat. He takes the time to introduce me, once again, to Mr. LaRocca, even though I've met him once before.
"So, Edward, your uncle tells us good things about you," Mr. LaRocca says, his arm wrapped around the petite brunette at his side.
"That's good to hear, sir," I reply, suddenly nervous. I reach up and adjust my collar, making the men at the table chuckle.
"You look like you're about to pass out there, Eddie," he teases. He snaps his fingers and calls out for the waitress. "Get our boy here a drink, will ya, sweetheart?" He turns back to me. "Mr. Cullen needs to relax."
"Thank you, sir." A drink is placed before me before I have time to calculate what's happening.
As I take a few deep breaths to calm my nerves and a few swallows from my glass, I don't notice Mr. LaRocca has dismissed Jimmy and the ladies who've been keeping all of them company. When I finally snap out of it and meet his eyes, they're boring into mine.
"So, Eddie, how is it driving for my good friend? He treating you right?" He nods his head in the direction of Mr. Amato seated to his left.
"Yes, sir, he is." I swallow the lump in my throat and cough to clear it. "It's been an honor,"—I glance at Amato before turning my attention back to LaRocca—"sir."
"Any reason the spot we gave you with Felix didn't work out?"
I chance a peek at my uncle, and he all of a sudden looks uncomfortable, but I try not to focus on him. The men seated across from me command my attention.
I clear my throat. "No, sir. Just didn't seem like a good fit is all."
"Hmm." He sips from his own glass and sets it on the table. "You know, funny thing is, that's not what Felix said at all. He's been singing your praises for months, saying you were making a name for yourself." He lowers his voice and leans across the table. "Felix is one of my very best enforcers. You could've made quite a name for yourself with him if you'd stayed with him and played your cards right."
I'm not sure where he's going with this, so I do what I do best when in his presence and haven't been asked a direct question; I keep my mouth shut.
"I gotta say I'm a little disappointed you gave it up so easily to drive around this schmuck," he says, chuckling and thumbing in Amato's direction, but his low laugh doesn't sound friendly to me at all. His eyes meet mine. "Hopefully driving around his sorry ass is a better fit for you."
I nod, my pulse pounding in my ears, as he calls over Jimmy and the broads he'd earlier escorted from the table.
"Jimmy," he says, looking at Amato's nephew as he takes his seat. "Surely you've got plenty to go around?" he suggests, raising an eyebrow at the two women on either side of the man.
He reluctantly agrees and sends the blonde in my direction. She walks over to me, taking a seat at my side. She's so close, I can see the creases in her face powder.
"Hey, handsome." Her breath wafts over me, its cloying sweetness making my stomach roll. "Eddie, is it?"
"Edward," I correct.
She giggles. "No, I think I will call you Eddie." She gets impossibly closer. "My name is Tanya."
I nod as I sip from my glass, taking note of her distinct accent. She's definitely not a local girl.
"You are a quiet one, are you not?" she asks after studying me for a moment.
"So I'm told."
Her lips graze my ear, and I fight not to let the shiver of disgust racing down my spine show in the rest of my body.
"They say the quiet ones are better ... behind closed doors."
"Ya don't say?" I take another sip from my glass before turning to look into her deep blue eyes. "Maybe my wife would be the one to say for sure, huh?" The booze I've had and the stress of the evening is making my tone harsh.
She leans in closer, once again whispering in my ear. "I won't tell if you won't."
I turn my head, our eyes meet, and they're barely an inch apart. "But I will." I gently nudge her stunned form away, marginally, and rise to my feet. I turn to meet the surprised faces of my uncle and his associates. "Gentlemen," I say with a nod. "Thank you for your hospitality tonight, but I need to get back to my post."
I turn and make a beeline for the door, only to hear my uncle's voice calling for me.
"Eddie! Wait up!"
I make it out the door before he catches up with me, and when he does, it's not pleasant.
"What the hell was that?" he asks with a slap to the side of my head. "You can't just walk away from a meeting like that. You're already on thin ice with LaRocca, you wanting to get away from Felix and all. You gotta know that doesn't look good."
My shoulders slump, the confidence I felt only moments ago, waning. "Look, I'm sorry, but I needed to get out of there. Between having that man stare me down and then that dame coming on to me like that ..." I shake my head. "I just needed to get away. And things are just getting better between Bella and me. I can't mess that up."
"And in the process, you look like a pussy." He stands with his hands on his hips, leaning closer. "You gotta know that doesn't look good to just walk away without being dismissed." He pauses. "Besides, what's so bad about spending some time with a broad like that? Just a few drinks, dip your wick, and go home to your wife. No big deal," he says with a shrug.
"No big deal," I whisper, shaking my head looking down at the pavement beneath my feet. "Maybe not for you, but after all Bella and me have been through, I'm not gonna risk losing my family over a two-bit whore."
My uncle stares at me, a look of disbelief on his face, before speaking. "Well, you might not lose your family, but I can guarantee you just lost some respect from the men in that room." He shakes his head. "And you just pissed off two very important people."
As he stalks away, back into the building, I have no idea how far-reaching the effects of tonight will be.
A/N: So, what do we think about this one? Is he in way over his head? What do you think the fallout, if any, will be from his impromptu meeting? Did Bella forgive him too easily? I think if this were to happen today, her reactions would probably be a lot different. My, how things have changed in the last fifty plus years ... I'd love to hear your thoughts.
Thanks for all the love you've shown this story, even though it's a rough one. I'm struggling to reply to reviews, guys. Please know if I didn't respond, I have read each and every one, and they all mean so much.
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Lots of love,
Sunshine