Part II: Deadhouse
"It's an honor to meet you in person, finally," the man declared, shaking hands politely.
Sanji smiled, "Thank you. I'm glad to be here."
"Vinsmoke!"
"Sir?" Sanji replied, making a face before turning around.
"Beat it," the man murmured to the man speaking with Sanji.
"Wow." Sanji groaned, "nice."
"Let it be known," the man breathed, leaning intimidatingly over the smaller man, "I don't want you here. Your father got you this job. That's all…"
"The Judge," Sanji replied, tilting his head to the side in annoyance, "didn't want me here. So no, that man is not the reason I got this job."
The other man was pissed. His face contorted involuntarily before he swallowed his anger, clearing his throat loudly, "Boss man wants you to sit in on the interviews."
"Why me?" Sanji questioned. "I just got here."
"Didn't you hear?" the dark-haired man mused, smiling, "Porchemy's dead." He stroked his maintained beard before adding for emphasis, "He was your team member, wasn't he?"
Sanji closed his eyes, "Yeah, he was."
"To think it could've been you in there…" the man taunted.
"What's your problem with me?" Sanji demanded, yanking the taller man's collar tightly. "Wanna talk about it?" Sanji growled, twisting until the man's top button popped off.
"I asked for someone from the Germa Six-Six Foundation and they sent me you," the man spat, "I'm sure you can imagine my disappointment. Same look your father gives ya, eh?"
"You may outrank me in this organization," Sanji murmured, pulling his pistol from its holder and pressing it into the man's gut, "but call that man my father one more time and I'll kill you, understand?"
"Porchemy was eaten," the man suddenly explained, unconcerned, "two candidates withdrew their applications. You have three interviews today. Boss says you can pick."
Sanji released the larger man and snapped his gun back in its holster. He straightened his clothes and smoothed his hands over his hair. He pulled a cigarette from his jacket pocket and leaned forward, the other man offering a light. He inhaled deeply before exhaling a curl of smoke, "Vergo, don't tell anyone else about Porchemy."
"Why not?" Vergo asked, bending over to retrieve his lost button.
"Because it's impossibly difficult to keep staffing the Deadhouse unit." Sanji complained. "Word gets around and everyone requests transfers."
"That why you're here?" Vergo questioned, following Sanji down the long hallway.
"I was promoted," Sanji said.
"You could always transfer to my unit…" Vergo suggested, "though it entails a demotion."
"Hell no." Sanji refused.
"I didn't realize you liked working the Deadhouse unit…"
"I'm in it for the retirement benefits," Sanji muttered, stopping in front of a steel door. He pulled his badge forward, sliding it in the slot on the door.
"That's dark, Vinsmoke," Vergo breathed out, shivering for effect.
"A man can dream, can't he?" Sanji placed his hand on the pad and spoke aloud, "Vinsmoke, Sanji. Deadhouse unit."
A green light flashed above the door and it buzzed before popping open. Sanji turned and looked hard at Vergo, "You didn't track me down just to taunt me about Porchemy did you?"
Vergo shrugged, "I came to welcome the new guy," Vergo smiled, "And maybe warn ya. It's very different working onsite than from your office in wherever…"
"I realize that," Sanji replied, extinguishing his cigarette against the steel door. "Hey, Vergo, our units don't work together often do they?"
"Huh? Oh," Vergo shook his head, "Nope."
"Good," Sanji said, smiling, "Then fuck off."
..
"I appreciate you coming in for a second interview," Sanji murmured.
"Yeah, no problem. I understand with the delicate nature…"
"I hope the flight in was alright."
The man laughed, "Yeah. It was long, but okay. We didn't crash."
"Well, the job is yours if you accept, Mr. Roronoa," Sanji said, straightening up the papers on his desk.
Zoro nodded soberly, "Thank you."
"Any questions?" Sanji asked, clearing his throat nervously, "before we start the ball rolling?"
"Uh, yeah," Zoro hesitated, "why are the contracts only for two years?"
Sanji smiled tightly, "Well, this job isn't easy. It's the most physical job you'll ever have. The higher ups decided that men aged 18-20 years are at their prime." Sanji leaned back in his chair. "You make it those two years and it's smooth sailing the rest of your life."
"Yeah, that seems extreme too," Zoro laughed, "I'm not sure two years of work is worth that kinda money."
"It's not just two years," Sanji explained, "It's two years of the hardest work imaginable. And then five years of contractual protection assignment after that. So, in my opinion, twenty million is the perfect amount."
Zoro nodded slowly, "Porchemy mentioned that," he paused, licking his lips, "but he didn't really explain it."
"What? The protection assignment?" Sanji asked, clicking his pen absently.
"Yeah."
Sanji grabbed a file from the top drawer and laid it out on the desk, "This is how I understand it, every employee undergoes a minor, twenty minute operation. The Memoriae device is implanted. After serving two years with the Deadhouse unit, it will be activated. All the confidential data will be erased from your memory." Sanji pointed to a diagram of the device. "It takes five years for the Memoriae to work completely. After that, you're free to go with your twenty million dollars and a new identity."
"This seems…"
"Illegal?" Sanji asked.
"Like science fiction," Zoro finished, looking at Sanji in surprise.
Sanji's face reddened and he cleared his throat, tossing his pen to the desk. "This is all very sensitive information, but I assure you, the U.S. government is working extensively with both the D Foundation and Germa Six Six."
"Any other questions?" Sanji sighed, rubbing his nose.
Zoro muttered something under his breath before asking aloud, "I've heard they're kids… is that true?"
Sanji chewed on his lip before answering, "I haven't meet them in person yet. I just got in this morning myself. But from what I've heard, they were kids when the project started. The youngest is 15 or so now, I believe…"
"One last question," Zoro said.
"Sure, go ahead," Sanji replied.
"Out of all of the other candidates why was I chosen?"
Sanji smiled, tapping a cigarette out from the pack. He lit it and puffed on the end, relishing the burn, "The residents of the Deadhouse unit made the final decision."
"Oh, okay." Zoro murmured, "That surprises me. I wonder what they'd based it off of…"
"You can ask them yourself," Sanji suggested, "Wanna meet them?"
"Now?" Zoro asked.
"You signed all the necessary legal waivers before you flew in," Sanji pointed out. "All you have to do is officially accept and fill out your retirement form."
"I accept," Zoro agreed, shaking Sanji's hand.
"And here you are," Sanji murmured, placing the form in front of Zoro. "Take your time."
"Shit," Zoro breathed out nervously, reading and re-reading the form. "No pressure, huh?"
Sanji laughed, "I was told the last guy who reached retirement asked for a job with NASA. He was qualified well enough. I think he ended up staying with them even after the Memoriae implant dissolved."
"I'm not NASA material," Zoro admitted.
Sanji laughed again, "I know. I read your file."
Zoro wasn't sure if he should be offended or not. The pressure of making a decision was almost too much. "What did you write down, if I can ask?" Sanji was caught off guard by the question. Zoro blushed, "Sorry, way too personal…"
"Nah," Sanji allowed, shrugging, "I can tell ya. I asked for a new identity, just enough money for the five years, and to be dropped off someplace with really good food."
Zoro nodded, "But I don't think I want anything…"
Sanji let out a noise half between a laugh and a groan, "Just pick something. What do you see yourself enjoying for at least five years?"
"Beer."
"Good," Sanji shrugged. "Say you want a job with beer or something…"
"That just sounds sad," Zoro realized, shaking his head. "Can't I just write 'to be determined'? It's not like I can retire if I die, so I'll be alive to answer later, right?"
"Don't hurt yourself thinking," Sanji muttered, standing up, "let's just finish this later."
"Are they as dangerous as they say?" Zoro questioned, following Sanji out of his office.
Sanji shrugged, "I don't know. Never met 'em." Sanji smiled handsomely, leaning in closely, "But between you and me, I think they're making shit up."
Zoro laughed, shaking his head, "Yeah. I've heard some crazy things. Too crazy if you know what I mean…"
Sanji waited at the secretary's desk, strumming his fingers against the wood. The young man looked up, clearly peeved he'd missed some sort of promotion with the two new recruits. He sighed heavily before asking, "What can I do for you?"
"We need to add Zoro's prints into the system and he needs a keycard." Sanji instructed.
The secretary handed Zoro a ready-made card, "Done and done."
"Wow. That's fast, thank you," Zoro replied, taking the card. He examined the photo critically. It was the one he'd taken at the D Foundation American headquarters back when he'd first applied. It wasn't flattering. He thought his forehead looked too round.
"It's a bit of a walk," Sanji explained, hopping on a golf cart, "we won't usually be in here. You'll report directly to the D unit when you arrive. You'll check in and out with your handprint and voice activation."
"Wow. That's advanced," Zoro mused, feeling a little out of his depth.
"Yeah," Sanji nodded, tapping ash off the butt of his cigarette, "Apparently one of the residents tried using someone's hand to escape… without the rest of them attached…" Sanji laughed, "like I said, they've got some tall tales."
"So, how'd you get involved in all of this?" Zoro asked, resting his arm on the rail of the speeding golf cart.
"Me?" Sanji eyed Zoro skeptically. "You're kidding, right?"
"You just don't look like the type," Zoro reasoned.
Sanji's face darkened, "I was born into it. I'm Sanji Vinsmoke."
"Vinsmoke?" Zoro swallowed with effort. "As in the Germa Six Six family?"
Sanji nodded, steering onehanded so he could smoke, "That's the one."
"Sorry, man," Zoro murmured, "I didn't know."
"Don't be sorry," Sanji replied. "Two years of working this hell hole and I'm free…"
"What do you mean?"
Sanji paused just a moment before explaining, "The Memoriae implant takes five years to fully erase the confidential information. Naturally, you're not allowed to speak with anyone from either the Germa Six Six or D Foundations for that entire time."
"Yeah, makes sense," Zoro agreed.
"That means I can't talk to my entire family for five whole years," Sanji clarified with a grin. "And by the time I remember who I am and where I'm from, I'll be a millionaire with a new identity and zero memories of this place."
"You and your parents don't get along?" Zoro asked, holding on as they turned a corner, a little sharper than was comfortable.
"My mother's dead." Sanji said quickly. "I look forward to remembering her when it's all over."
"So you're one of the quadruplets, then…" Zoro realized. "What's it like being a quadruplet?"
"Like I'd rather live as a peasant somewhere without my memories for five years," Sanji replied, laughing bitterly.
"I see," Zoro said, staring down at his boots.
"What's your family like?" Sanji asked, sparing a glance in Zoro's direction.
"Don't know," Zoro admitted, "never had one." Zoro shrugged before adding, "I aged out of foster."
Sanji was speechless the rest of the way to the Deadhouse unit. He parked the golf cart and pulled his badge, sliding it through the slot; he placed his palm on the mat and spoke aloud, "Vinsmoke, Sanji. Deadhouse unit."
"Go ahead and do yours," Sanji instructed, shutting the door once it buzzed open.
Zoro slid his card, placing his palm on the mat, "Roronoa, Zoro. Deadhouse unit." The light above the door flashed green and the door buzzed open again. He followed Sanji inside another narrow hall. "What's deadhouse mean anyway?"
"Mortuary," Sanji replied, emptying his pockets. He gestured to the lockers on the right side of the hall, "Pick whichever empty one you'd like. There's only the five of us now. Take everything out of your pockets except your badge."
They walked to the next door and Sanji turned, looking into the camera, "It's me."
"And the new guy." Zoro added, pointing to himself.
The door buzzed open and they stepped into a waiting room of sorts. There was a security desk in the center, with chairs and love seats lining the walls. There were two doors along the far wall. "The door on the left is for hospitality; the cooks, the launderers, et cetera. Everything that the residents of Deadhouse eat off of or touch stays in this unit."
"And what's to the right," Zoro asked.
"The researchers and residents of the Deadhouse unit." Sanji explained.
"Good afternoon, Mr. Vinsmoke," the man at the security desk said politely. "Good afternoon, Mr. Roronoa."
"Hello," Zoro replied awkwardly.
"I've never gone in myself," Sanji whispered, laughing nervously.
The security guard smiled, "You'll go through the door on the right. It's another long hallway. Take the first door. You'll need to change your clothes and shoes. Then go to the third door. Take that hallway. You'll find your way."
"What's beyond the second door?" Sanji asked, putting his cigarette in the ashtray pointedly provided to him.
"The showers." The guard explained. "You'll have to shower before redressing. What's in there, stays in there."
"Got it." Zoro said, walking toward the door on the right. "First door, third door. Hallway. Obvious direction. Second door, first door, back out… first door, third door, hallway…"
"Can't be too hard," Sanji decided, following Zoro through the door.
"So there are four other guys in Deadhouse?" Zoro questioned.
Sanji nodded, pushing open the first door. "There's…"
"Do the researchers only work two years?" Zoro wondered.
Sanji shook his head, "Nah, they're all old guys. I remember their names from when I was a kid…"
"Wonder why they aren't restricted to two years?"
Sanji shrugged, undressing hurriedly, "Who knows. Brain versus brawn, I guess."
It was a tedious process. And those first few weeks of undressing, dressing, working, showering, dressing, and going home would be grueling.
Once they'd opened the third door, and wandered down the long hallway, they ran directly into the research lab. The researchers were gracious and welcoming. They were introduced to the evening shift, Diez and Vander.
"Hey, new guy," Diez roared, slapping his hand against Zoro's in greeting. "Welcome to Deadhouse!"
"You're pretty for a Vinsmoke," Vander murmured in greeting.
Sanji made a face, "You do know I'm your boss right?"
Vander and Diez laughed. "I ain't worried, Mr. Vinsmoke," Vander slid his arm over Sanji's shoulder in an over-friendly way, "Nobody gets fired from the Deadhouse."
"Where's Caesar?" Sanji asked, looking around the lab.
"He's meeting with the Boss Man." Diez explained.
"Okay, well," Sanji sighed, "do we have permission to go see them or…?"
"You're in charge, Mr. Vinsmoke," one of the researchers explained. "You're the head of Deadhouse."
"Congratulations on that promotion by the way," Vander said.
"Come on," Diez instructed, gesturing them to follow. "You guys aren't ready to go alone."
"I don't think they're ready period," Vander sighed.
"Just remember," Diez whispered, "Your first day is going to be fucking terrible. And so is every fucking day after it. You're getting paid around $27,000 a day just to be here. That should tell you something."
"Don't scare them," Vander scolded. "They look delicate."
"Just lead the way," Sanji snapped. "And tell us what to do and what not to do pertaining to this assignment. Quit with the editorializing."
"Don't get eaten." Diez laughed, shaking his head.
"What do you mean by that?" Zoro asked, his eyes narrowed.
"You both read the Deadhouse unit file, right?"
"Of course."
"Well, sorry, but that isn't going to help you."
"Word to the wise," Vander drawled, "there'll never be a truthful piece of paper about the Deadhouse, ever."
"And why's that?" Sanji snapped, irritated.
Vander simply shrugged, pushing open a door, "You'll see."
"You don't typically haze the person who signs your checks…" Sanji replied dryly.
Zoro stepped inside the cold room. It was freezing, enough to make his flesh prickle. He rubbed his arms uncomfortably, his breath curling out in front of him. "Holy shit. Why the fuck's it so cold?"
"You came at a bad time," Diez explained, switching on the lights.
"How so?" Sanji questioned, his eyes adjusting to the sudden change in brightness.
"They upped their dosage last week," Vander responded, smacking his hand against the glass that ran the length of the room. "It makes them a fucking mess."
"Are they… in there?" Sanji murmured, peering into the dark room beyond the glass.
"Yep. Wakey, wakey, boys!" Vander screeched, slamming his hand noisily on the steel door. "You could sleep if you hadn't eaten Porchemy!"
"There they are," Diez pointed out, gesturing to them. There were two young men in various states of sleep on display. Vander shone his flashlight on each one as Diez indicated their resting spot. "Our big, fat boy. He's a bit of a bully. Then we have your typical pouty, brooding, tortured soul type. He's an asshole, don't argue with him. He's fun but can't be trusted off leash… and our littlest star is somewhere… right…" Diez approached the glass, leaning closer for a better look. "He's right… over… Where the hell is he?"
"Turn on the light," Vander suggested, shining his flashlight through the glass.
"They're sleeping." Zoro said, looking at Vander.
Vander's eyes widened in disbelief, "Really? Well, fuck me then, right?"
Diez pressed a round button on the wall and the lights in the holding cell flickered on. The men inside groaned loudly in protest, covering their faces. "Where's LUF?"
"L.U.F.?" Sanji repeated.
"They don't have names." Vander explained. "They go by their designated codes."
"And what does L.U.F. stand for?" Zoro questioned.
"Nothing. I don't know. Maybe it means something to somebody smarter than me." Diez replied. "But it's not important." Diez knocked loudly against the glass, "Where the hell is LUF?"
"Fuck you," one of them shouted. "We're trying to sleep."
"Damn it," Diez cursed smacking the door. "Fucking trouble."
"Lesson one in Deadhouse," Vander announced, pointing toward the steel door. "Never, ever open this door until you can see them all."
Zoro and Sanji looked closer; pressed against the steel door was a very slender, wild looking boy. He looked ill, too thin and with a pale complexion. He was perfectly hidden from view except for the most discerning eye.
"We brought the new Boss," Vander shouted, pressing the button below the lights. A buzzer sounded, grating and loud. "And the new Porchemy." Vander laughed to himself. "Come say 'hi'."