"He's sneaky," Sanji commented about LUF, unimpressed, "so?"
"So?" Vander wheezed, "What do you mean, 'so'?"
"I mean… So, what's the big deal with this job?" Sanji replied, sitting in one of the chairs across from the holding cell. He reached for a cigarette before realizing he didn't bring any in.
"He just doesn't get it," Vander realized.
"The eldest is TCH," Diez explained, handing Sanji one of the clipboards, "He's from the original studies the Germa Six Six started in the late eighties."
"I thought they were all younger," Zoro said, doing the math in his head. "Didn't realize this study had lasted so long."
"He wasn't originally a part of Deadhouse. The unit was opened just eleven years ago," Vander replied.
"He's well fed," Sanji muttered.
"That's where Porchemy went," Vander teased.
"Yeah, he's a lard ass," Diez agreed, "They exercise three times a week, under supervision of course, but it doesn't seem to make a difference."
There was a buzzing sound as the door opened behind them. A tall man, pale in complexion, stepped into the room. He smiled from ear to ear, introducing himself, "I'm Caesar," he laughed freely, "You must be little Mr. Vinsmoke and the new recruit, Roronoa."
"Sanji's fine," Sanji replied, blinking in response to being called such a name. "It's a pleasure to meet you in person finally."
"Likewise," Caesar insisted, turning to face the glass wall. "I see you came to see the Ds."
"The Ds?" Zoro asked.
Caesar nodded and smiled, adjusting his pristine, white lab coat, "Yes. That's what we call them. The Ds of Deadhouse. It's a cute little nickname I came up with myself…"
Zoro nodded, even if he didn't find it very clever.
"I'm so glad I caught you before you left," Caesar continued, "is there anything I can explain? Any questions that you have?"
"Why do they vary so drastically in age?" Sanji asked, tapping his fingers against his knee.
"Ah, that's because we started with over fifteen thousand subjects eleven years ago."
"Fif-teen thousand?" Zoro stammered in disbelief.
"Yes," Caesar confirmed. "Ask Vander to show you the freezers some time."
"There's no way fifteen thousand people could be kept in here…" Sanji argued, scoffing.
"It wasn't fifteen thousand people, Little Vinsmoke," Caesar corrected, "it was fifteen thousand very, very dead test subjects." Sanji waited for the laughter, but it never came. He looked around at the others, waiting for them to finally crack. Caesar cleared his throat, "Out of those fifteen thousand corpses, we were successful with only 30."
"Successful with what?" Zoro asked, a feeling of dread creeping into his belly.
"Reanimation." Caesar cooed excitedly. "There's something very special about the Ds. Very special. They aren't like the rest of us… not at all…"
"What happened to the 27 others?" Zoro asked.
"They weren't Ds." Caesar replied simply. "They didn't have the heart for it."
"What's that mean?" Sanji asked.
"They couldn't speak or learn or communicate…" Caesar explained. "They were reanimated, but had no soul…"
"They don't believe you, Doctor," Vander cackled. "Can I show them?"
Caesar nodded, "I don't think it's that they don't believe me. I think it's that they don't have any imagination… Go ahead and show them."
Vander slid the bolt and then released the chain on the door. He pulled open the heavy steel, yanking the slender, young occupant out. LUF hissed viciously, his eyes wide and frightened. He scratched at Vander, snapping his teeth shut in the air. "Don't worry," Vander breathed out, violently dragging LUF along the ground, "He's strong and fast but not very smart after the treatments…"
"What do you mean?" Sanji asked, covering his mouth as he watched Vander manhandle the emaciated teen.
"He's too dumb to turn a door handle when he's like this," Diez explained, shutting the door and bolting it once LUF was entirely out.
Vander kicked LUF roughly in the stomach before smashing his shoes down on his hands, pinning him to the floor. Vander looked toward Caesar expectantly. Caesar obliged, passing a pistol with a silencer to the other man.
"I thought weapons weren't allowed in here…" Zoro muttered in distaste.
"I'm always carrying," Caesar replied. "For mine and my researchers' safety…"
"What are you doing?" Sanji demanded.
Caesar smiled, "This is usually against the rules, but since you're both new, I'll make an exception…" Caesar pulled out his satellite phone, and pressed the side button, "LUF, gunshot bullet to the head." Pew, the silencer warped the sound. "Reanimation, start time."
LUF was motionless on the floor, his eyes wide and unseeing. Blood was splattered around his head like a grotesque aura. There was a small black hole in-between his eyes. Blood abruptly poured from it, streaming down his face. And then LUF sat up, gasping heavily. "Reanimation, stop time," Caesar rasped into the phone.
"What the fuck…" Sanji murmured, standing up.
Zoro had looked away when Vander fired the pistol. He saw everything out of the corner of his eyes and it was enough to make him physically ill. He began to gag and the three veterans of Deadhouse laughed in amusement. Zoro turned away, startled to discover the two other men leaning against the glass. They watched silently, their foreheads resting against the clear wall. Without speaking a word, Zoro knew they were not amused.
"What is going on?" Sanji demanded, watching Vander hoist LUF to his feet.
"See," Vander announced, shaking LUF until he started to screech, "Good as new…"
"This is fucked." Sanji said, bolting toward the door.
The other men just laughed.
"Daddy Vinsmoke didn't explain the job well enough, did he?" Caesar taunted, laughing to himself.
Sanji didn't bother hiding his disgust, "There isn't enough money in the world for this."
"Are you going to put him back?" Zoro questioned, gesturing toward the very well-guarded door.
"We'll wait a bit," Diez admitted, "until they're all less excited."
"What exactly is my job here?" Zoro inquired, looking from Sanji to the others.
"Move the residents from their holding cell to the research lab as necessary. Each shift feeds them one meal. One week a month you will be responsible for bathing them. One week a month you will be responsible for supervising their enrichment activities, such as the gym." Diez rattled off.
"Am I going to end up a lab rat?" Zoro pressed.
Caesar laughed, "You're a contracted employee. You're free to go at the end of two years. We don't test on unwilling participants."
"He's willing?" Sanji snapped, gesturing toward LUF.
"Dead people can't give or take consent." Caesar hissed, his eyes narrowed.
"But he's not dead…" Zoro said, a little too forcefully.
"He was," Caesar maintained with a smile. "Isn't science wonderful? I'm a genius."
Three hours later Zoro finally managed to find the compound's liquor hall. He was too confused and mortified to feel lucky they had one on the premises. He wandered in and slumped down at the bar. "Rough night?" the bartender asked.
"Beer." Zoro growled.
"Sure."
Zoro gulped down his beer, his eyes closed tightly. He thought of the people living in Deadhouse and he threw his hand over his mouth, barely holding it in.
"Thought I'd find you here," Sanji sighed, sinking onto the barstool beside Zoro.
Zoro nodded without bothering to look up. He finished his beer and slammed his hand against the counter, "Make it a whiskey this time."
"You're the new guys in Deadhouse," the bartender realized, pouring Zoro's drink. He slid it across the bar, smiling sympathetically, "it's on the house tonight."
"I tried leaving," Zoro admitted, finally glancing at Sanji. "But they wouldn't let me."
"Same." Sanji breathed out, pulling a cigarette from the dwindling pack. "Even called the fucking stupid piece of shit Judge."
"Jesus," Zoro grunted, "if a Vinsmoke can't pull some strings no one can."
"He didn't try," Sanji spat.
"I meant you," Zoro pointed out, downing his whiskey.
"Ah," Sanji nodded in realization, "yeah. They didn't care. I'm stuck; unless, of course, I get eaten in the next 730 days."
"Don't even joke like that," Zoro groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose.
"How'd you get here?" Sanji wondered, laying his head on his arms.
"I was recruited," Zoro answered.
"Everyone is," Sanji replied, "I meant how? When? Where?"
"Oh," Zoro nodded slowly, "It's stupid."
"Just tell me." Sanji demanded.
Zoro sighed heavily, "I was an amateur circuit MMA fighter. Nothing special. I just happened to be at the bank when two men came in and tried to rob the place. They started beating the shit out of the bank manager. He was a little old man. I couldn't stand there and do nothing. So I ended up beating the shit outta them. I ended up on the news. Like I said, nothing special. But then I got a job offer." Zoro waved his hands, "And I'm here."
"That's the most retarded story I've ever heard," Sanji said simply, waving down the bartender. "I'd like a martini. A real martini, with gin…"
"Oh, well, sor-ry…" Zoro barked. "Fuck you too."
"Nothing personal," Sanji sighed. "Just another fucking shitty thing I learned today."
"How so?"
"I'm here because the Judge is a lunatic who clearly ruins more than just my life…" Sanji explained. "And you're here because you helped a fucking old man and stopped a bank robbery." Sanji waved his arms. "See the difference?"
"I'm here because I wanted twenty million dollars and was willing to do a lot to get it." Zoro said, shaking his head.
"Do you think…" Sanji trailed off.
"What?" Zoro pressed, furrowing his brow.
"Do you think Vander and Diez started off like us?" Sanji wondered. "Horrified and disgusted?"
"It makes me curious about the other shift," Zoro admitted. "But I don't think I'll ever be able to laugh it off like they did."
"We'll meet the other shift tomorrow," Sanji replied, "Jesus Christ. I hope they're normal people."
Zoro chewed on his lip before replying, "I don't think normal people can do this job."
"I can't believe I'm stuck here for two years," Sanji murmured, finishing his martini in one gulp.
"Or until somebody eats you." Zoro sighed, lifting his finger for another whiskey.
It was not an easy task to be at the Deadhouse unit in the morning. Zoro had been sitting in the security lounge for over forty-five minutes before Sanji arrived, and Zoro had been an hour late. Sanji didn't say a word. He simply shook his head and slid his badge through the slot on the next door.
They walked into the first room and undressed. It didn't need to be said, but they were both in their clothes from the day before. They changed slowly, stumbling and staggering. Sanji groaned, resting his head against the wall.
It took another fifteen minutes before Zoro and Sanji walked through the third door and down the hallway. They didn't smile at the researchers as they came into the lab. Sanji looked around, his eyes narrowed with distaste, "Where are the day shift guys?"
"In the gym with the Ds," one of the researchers answered, not even bothering to look up from the scarlet fluid she was studying.
"Where's the gym?" Zoro asked.
"Take the second farthest hall; walk down until you see glass windows and doors. It should be very bright in there right now," another man answered. "That's the gym."
"Nice try," Sanji snapped, "I'm the boss, right? Show me, assholes. One of you stop what you're doing and show me where I'm going…"
"We can't leave the lab," one of the men insisted. "It's against protocol."
"If one of the names on the bottom of your checks is 'Vinsmoke', raise your hand," Sanji drawled. "Good. Now take me to the gym or don't get paid."
"I'll make a call," the woman said, "see if someone from your team can come back and show you the way…"
"Never mind. Forget it." Zoro snapped, walking off. "Come on, Sanji."
"There goes their holiday bonuses," Sanji said, shaking a hand through his hair.
"Honestly, I don't know what exactly those people do," Zoro whispered, turning down a hallway, "but I don't like them already. And I don't want to be around them…"
"Is this the right way?" Sanji questioned, looking down the grey hall curiously.
"I don't know." Zoro admitted. "But it's gotta take us somewhere."
"I don't particularly want to explore," Sanji replied, eyes wide, "No thank you."
"We're not exploring," Zoro reasoned, "We're getting out of the lab before one of them starts testing on us…"
"Look, I know this is crazy but I can assure you," Sanji breathed out, "that no one will be testing on you…"
"Pretty sure the Memoriae implant sounds like they're testing it out on us…" Zoro argued. "And hell, do you know that Porchemy was eaten on accident?"
"I don't know anything," Sanji confessed, raising his hands. "My job before coming here was to look pretty and ask people to send in their paperwork."
"Hey," Zoro breathed out, pointing ahead, "I think we found it."
The gym was just ahead, at the end of the hall. And it was immediately obvious what they meant by bright. The room was so brightly lit it was almost unbearable to look through the glass. Sanji knocked on the door, his forearm over his eyes, "Anyone in here?"
There were two men sitting down, wearing sunglasses and drinking bottled water. They waved lazily as Zoro and Sanji walked in. They stood, both crossing the room in two large strides, "You must be Mr. Vinsmoke," the older man said, "I'm Egana and this is my partner, Bluejam."
"Nice to meet you," Sanji murmured, shaking hands.
"You must be Zoro," Bluejam realized, "I won't get to know you, I'm retiring soon, but it's a pleasure to have some new blood."
"Why the hell is it so bright in here?" Zoro demanded, squinting in the uncomfortable brightness.
"Ah," Egana turned, grabbing two pairs of sunglasses from the plastic shoe organizer on the wall, "it's the sun lamps."
"Sun lamps?" Sanji wondered, putting on the sunglasses before looking around.
"Yeah," Bluejam replied. "It's for the Ds. It isn't healthy to never be in sunlight. So they put these sun lamps in here to try and bring out their vitamins or what the fuck ever…"
Sanji finally realized that those things were in there with them. He turned in a circle, searching the room in horror. "Where are they?"
"They're being shy," Egana sighed heavily.
"They're lazy pigs," Bluejam spat. "They never work out. It's pathetic… It's like pulling teeth."
"But the research department makes us send in an hour's worth of data," Egana explained, "so we make a deal with them. If they get on the treadmill for an hour and wear the monitors, we'll let them do whatever they want the other three hours."
"Four hours of gym time?" Zoro asked, looking around the room with interest.
"Well, enrichment…" Egana explained, pointing to the far corner. "They've got foosball, air hockey; they had billiards until they tried to fuck Diez up with the pool cue…"
"A library," someone said aloud, "that's been read and reread a dozen times…"
Sanji and Zoro turned, looking the man up and down. He was thin but taller than them both. It was obvious that he was malnourished and unhealthy, but there was something beautiful about him. His skin was smooth bronze, his hair a contrasting black, and his eyes were a startling yellow shade. He smiled, a mixture of pleasant and chilling. "So you're the new keepers."
"Zoro," Zoro said in introduction, extending his hand.
"What the fuck are you doing?" Egana demanded, preparing for an event of some chaotic nature.
But the resident of Deadhouse simply shook Zoro's hand, "Law."
"Law?" Zoro murmured in confusion.
"Not Law, L.A.W.," Bluejam barked. "They don't have names. They have designations."
"I'm Sanji," Sanji added, smiling tightly at LAW.
"You're the smallest keepers we've ever had," LAW mused aloud. "They must be getting desperate now."
"Don't think you can push them around," Egana barked, "they both have extensive fighting experience."
There was movement on the floor behind the foosball table and a large, heavy man sat up, rubbing his belly absently, "These are the new guys?"
"Yes," LAW answered, leaning against the wall beside the bookshelves.
"Scraping the bottom of the barrel, eh?" TCH blasted, laughing loudly. "They won't last two cycles."
"Say what you want," another voice said, coming somewhere from above. "I picked him. I think he'll be good."
"You didn't pick him," TCH argued.
"I did too!" the voice debated back, "Diez brought me the stack of pictures. Said I could pick…"
"Fuck you. No you didn't…" TCH snapped. "He didn't…"
LAW sighed, closing his book with a thud, "He did actually. You were asleep. And I didn't care."
Zoro looked up with difficulty. The sun lamps were so bright and hot it was nearly impossible to see. He struggled for several moments before finally catching a glimpse of the teen speaking. He was lying on the top of the metal rafter, the sun lamps heating his back. He couldn't make out any details, but he knew it was the kid who'd been shot in the head the day before.
"And that's LUF," Egana explained, gesturing upward, "He's still small enough that he finds his way into crevices and crannies. When you lose one, and you will, it'll be him…"
"I didn't realize he could speak…" Sanji murmured.
"Oh, yeah, you met them last night, right?" Bluejam shook his head. "They were still coming off their cycle. They're always the worst the day of 'til two days after. If you get eaten, it'll be after the cycle."
"What cycle?" Zoro asked, looking around awkwardly.
"The medication." Egana said simply.
"What's the medication do?" Sanji questioned curiously.
"You'd have to ask Caesar," Bluejam sighed, "that's above my pay grade. I don't care. I just do my job."
"Don't ask questions," Egana suggested, "it makes the job easier."
Sanji and Zoro exchanged looks. Sanji sighed, gesturing around the gym, "So this is it? We do this for a week a month? Just stand here and watch them lounge around?"
"Don't get it twisted," Egana breathed out, "it's still a dangerous job, even when they aren't being medicated."
"They're acting shy," Bluejam insisted. "You'll see for yourself soon enough."
"First off, we're not being medicated and it isn't medication," LAW said flatly, throwing himself down on one of the couches.
"Then what is it?" Zoro asked.
"It's a weapon." LAW answered, lying down on the couch, his legs dangling off the arm and his forearm tossed over his face.
"We're weapons," LUF added, a slender arm sliding off the rafter.
TCH chuckled boisterously, slapping his leg in amusement, "Just wait for it, boys. One day we'll just go… KA-BOOM!"