Thank you to 2brown-eyes, ceceprincess1217, gabby1017, and DICATAKADD for pre-reading, and to SunflowerFran for editing. And since I fiddle, any remaining mistakes are my own.
Big thanks go out to mollybean for her help with a few Pittsburgh landmarks. I have family in the area, so I've visited many of the places I mention, but no one knows it better than someone who's lived there!
Song for this chapter, Goodnight Sweetheart by The Platters. Maybe give it a listen before you read this one. ;)
***Seatbelts engaged? You're gonna need them.***
Chapter 12
Days before the end of chapter 11...
The Boy
"Oh, thank you, Edward." Ma's smile as I bring the last of the dinner dishes into the kitchen lights the room. It's the first time in months I've seen her genuinely smile at me, with no pity, and I'm glad she could give me this, today of all days.
"You're welcome." I place the rest of them on the counter and kiss the side of her head. "Anything else I can do?"
"No. I'll be done in a little while then we can sit and talk before you have to go."
I nod and walk back out to the living room where everyone is gathered. Little Jacob is playing on a blanket on the floor. The sight of him makes me ache for my own son. Knowing I've already missed his first birthday hurts, but if I want to see any of his next birthdays, I need to do this.
All the kids are occupied with the presents I've brought for them. My excuse for the gifts is I haven't been around much this past year and missed every last one of their birthdays. Four-year-old Riley is on the floor next to Jacob playing with the new Matchbox Cars I brought him, while seven-year-old Garrett is sitting at the cleared table, a potato in one hand while his other rummages through the box of Mr. Potato Head parts to finish his masterpiece.
I can see Katie through the window as she plays with her new Hula Hoop. I was clueless about what a ten-year-old girl would want, but she seems to be enjoying it. Her blonde hair is flying all around her as she giggles each time the hoop drops to her feet. That smile is what I'll always remember about her.
Thirteen-year-old Alistair took off like a rocket for the staircase to play with his new Slinky. The rhythmic shing-shing sound of the metal rings making contact as they glide down the steps, in combination with his shouts of excitement, tell me it's a success.
When I step outside, Alice is sitting on the glider on the porch watching Katie.
"She's really good at that, isn't she?" I ask, pointing at our younger sister as I sit down next to her.
She nods her head. "Yeah." Her voice is quiet, not at all like the bubbly Alice I know.
"What's up, kiddo?" I ask as I gently bump my shoulder into hers.
She takes a deep breath before blowing it out. "Is something wrong? Are you going somewhere or something?"
Her sharp perception catches me off guard. "No. Why do you think I'm going somewhere?"
"We hardly ever see you anymore, and all of a sudden you're here for Sunday dinner and bringing us all these gifts." She huffs and side-eyes me. "It just seems weird to me."
"Isn't a big brother allowed to spoil his brothers and sisters every once in a while? Do something nice? Especially since I missed everybody's birthday this year." I pause, looking away from her toward Emmett and Jasper working under the hood of my parents' car. "I've been a little busy lately."
She scoffs but doesn't reply.
"You know, whatever you think of me, of what you think I've done, I did it all for my family, Alice. Right or wrong, it was for them."
She starts to speak, but I hold up my hand, interrupting her. "And I already know what you're gonna say. That I'm doing bad things for bad people. But Allie, I thought I was doing what I needed to. At the time, it was the best option."
"And now?" Her fiery eyes turn on me. "Now that you've lost your wife and your son do you still think it was the best option?" She doesn't give me the opportunity to respond. "You know, when we got her letters, I was sure it had to be some kind of joke. That she'd leave us all with no real explanation other than she needed time, needed to get away from here to sort out her feelings." She shakes her head and stands, pointing her finger at me. "You," she says, stabbing her finger into the center of my chest. "You did that. You drove her away." Her anger, her loyalty to my wife, brings a sad smile to my face.
"I'm sorry, Alice. I'm doing my best to make it right."
The fight leaves her, and she plops back onto the chair. "I lost my friend, Eddie, and I'm not sure I can ever forgive you for that."
I put an arm around her, pulling her close, and she lays her head on my shoulder. "I wasn't expecting you to."
We watch in silence as my brother and reluctant ally work under the hood.
"He's been a mess since Rosie left," Alice whispers.
"Yeah?"
"Yeah. He realizes how much he screwed up. He even went a few weeks ago and got hired on at the mill. Says he's tired of everyone seeing him as a kid."
"Any chance she'll come back?"
She shakes her head. "No, I don't think so. She told me before she left she needed to move away from here to have a fresh start. And I get that, I do, but ..." She looks up at me. "Everything is changing, Eddie. And I don't like it."
I kiss the top of her head. "I know. And I wish I had something insightful to say, something to make you feel better, but I don't. All I can say is, make the best of today, and love the people in your life because you never know when they might be gone from it."
Her arms wrap around my middle and squeeze me tightly. "I have to believe you and Bella will be okay, that you'll find your way back to each other. You have to."
"I hope so, sis."
Katie's giggles get our attention, and she calls for Alice to help her. I take the opportunity to go see what Emmett and Jasper are tinkering with.
"You having trouble with this thing?" I ask as I step closer.
Emmett side-eyes me as he wipes some grease from his hands. "No more than usual."
"Should'a said something, Em. I could've helped—"
"No thanks." He slams down the hood and crosses his arms over his chest. "I don't want nothin' to do with your money."
I sigh and slip my hands into the pockets of my jacket. "What are you talkin' about, Emmett?"
"Nothin'," he grunts as he leans against the car.
"I'm gonna ..." Jasper says as he thumbs over his shoulder in the direction of the porch where Alice is sitting, just before walking away.
"You wanna tell me what's got you all riled up?"
"Nothing I want to talk about."
We stand in silence for a while, Katie's sporadic laughter still ringing in the air.
"Bella really leave you?" he finally asks.
"Yeah."
"She finally get fed up with all your shit or something?"
"Or something."
He hangs his head, slowly shaking it from side to side. "You're an idiot, you know that?" His head pops up, and his eyes meet mine. "Pretty wife who loved you even when you were practically dirt poor, a new son. But you threw it away. And for what?" He looks over at our sisters. "Pop raised us different than that, Ed. He did everything in his power to get his family away from Uncle Tony, and you go off and look for trouble."
"I thought I was—"
His angry eyes flash to mine. "That's bullshit, and we both know it. Bella would've loved you if you had never been able to get out of the bowling alley. Hell, she would've stood proudly by your side if you were a ... a dishwasher or ... or a garbage man."
"I know."
"Then why did you do it? Why did you—"
I widen my arms, my voice sharp. "I fucked up, okay! I was a stupid kid who believed all the bullshit Tony was feeding me. I had no idea what I was getting into, and I was too proud to admit I fucked up!"
Emmett's gaze lingers over my shoulder, making me look back at Alice and Jasper leading Katie back inside the house.
"So what are you gonna do to fix it?" he finally asks me.
"Whatever it takes to get out. Then I'm gonna go lay at my wife's feet and beg for her forgiveness."
"I'll tell you one thing, Eddie. If she's smart, she'll kick your ass to the curb and never look back."
"And if she's not smart?"
He smiles sardonically and shakes his head. "Then you're the luckiest bastard to walk the earth. If she gives you another chance, you take your family and run as far as you can from all the shit you're in."
Uncomfortable silence once again settles between us. When I can't take it anymore, I speak.
"If something happens to me—"
"No, Ed," he says with a groan. "Please don't talk like that."
"Look, I'm doing what I can to get out from under their thumbs, but you and I both know things don't always go as planned. If something happens—"
"Ed," he says in a warning tone.
"If something happens," I continue, narrowing my eyes, "I've got a few things set up for all of you, okay?"
He's still for a moment before he finally nods.
"It's not a whole lot, but it'll help."
"You know Pop won't want it. It's blood money, Ed."
I run a hand through my hair, frustrated even though I knew what his reaction would be. "Fine, but at least promise me you'll make sure Bella gets it? EJ?"
"I'll try. If we can find her, that is."
I stare out over the neighborhood, trying to commit to memory where I grew up. "I know where she is," I whisper.
Emmett's head snaps up, his eyes wide. "Where?"
"Far away from all this." I turn back to my brother. "Just promise me you'll stay far away from Tony and all the people he does business with, no matter what he promises you."
"Done. I've seen enough of what you've had to go through to know I don't want it. Besides, I already got hired on at the mill." His smile is small but genuine ... proud.
"Good for you. You'll be out on your own and your own man in no time."
He shoves his grease-stained hands into his pockets and shrugs. "Just wish Rose had stayed around long enough to see it. I really screwed it up with her. At the time, I thought it was a good idea to cut her loose, see other people and have some fun, but I didn't know how good I had it. I'm not sure I'll ever find another one like her."
"Never say never, Em. It's the one thing I'm counting on."
Walking back inside, Ma and Pop are sitting on the couch watching the kids play, each of them holding a coffee mug in their hands.
"Can I get you some?" Ma asks, holding up hers.
"No thanks. I can't stay much longer." I watch as all the kids except Jacob scurry outside to enjoy the last of the waning light of day. I take advantage of the momentary quiet and sit in the armchair across from them. "How have you all been? Really?"
They exchange a look, and Ma plasters a smile on her face. "We're making do. Emmett was struggling with keeping the car running for us, but with Jasper around so much, it's been better."
"Why didn't you tell me you were having trouble with it?"
Pop narrows his eyes at me. "I think you know the reason, son. It's the same reason we've always turned down your uncle's offers of help. We want no part of—"
"But I'm your son ... the oldest son. It's my job to help with—"
He raises his hand, cutting me off before I can finish. "We're fine. We'll be fine. We always find a way; you know that. We want no part of your uncle's ... business and the money that comes from it."
I sigh, my shoulders falling. "I know. I just ..." I run a hand through my hair, feeling frustrated at not being able to do more for them, especially knowing this is likely the last time I'll see them.
"We'll be fine, son. We always are." My father's calm but definitive words are final. They exchange a look, and I know I've lost the argument.
We spend what's left of the evening talking and laughing, just like old times, as the younger kids put on a show for me. I can tell they're all acting out to some degree, just to get a reaction ... to get my attention. It makes me regret not making more of an effort to come home more often. It's a regret I'll always have.
As they all kiss and hug me good night as they go off to bed, a sense of contentment settles in me. I know they'll all be okay, even if I'm not here to see it.
But the moment my mother puts her arms around me to say her goodbyes, I nearly crack under the weight of it all.
"It was so good to see you. I wish we got to see more of you."
"Me too, Ma." Tears burn my eyes, and I squeeze them closed.
"I've missed you."
"I'm sorry." Two words, so small, but so loaded. My apology is for so much more than she knows ... for things I've done, and things I'm planning to do. I ask for forgiveness she doesn't know I need.
"I know, honey, I know." She pulls away enough to meet my eyes. "And you do what you need to do to fix things with Bella ... bring her home. I miss her and my grandson. I know you've had your troubles, but there isn't much love won't fix. And if I know anything, it's that the two of you love each other."
"I'm trying." I pull her closer and squeeze her a little tighter. Looking down into her eyes, I can see she wants to say more, but she doesn't. "Love you, Ma." I lean down and kiss the top of her head.
"Oh, I love you too." She squeezes me and buries her face in my chest. "Take care of yourself."
She finally releases me and turns, trying discreetly to wipe a tear from her eye.
"Don't be a stranger, son. We miss you around here." Pop comes close, his hand outstretched for a shake. When I go to grasp it, he pulls me in for a hug of his own.
Having his arms around me is an agonizing comfort as I fight back tears. The love this man had, has for me, the same love he has for all his children, should have been enough. But I wanted more for my own family. He tried to tell me I was making the wrong choice, but I brushed off his advice. And now I'm paying the price.
When I finally make it out the door, a tornado of emotions swirl inside me. Sadness, guilt, regret ... all of them pale in comparison to the sense of right I feel. As hard as it is, I know this is the right thing to do. They're safe, happy, and my leaving might be hard on them, but in the end, I know they'll be okay. They have each other.
With a determination I haven't felt in a while, I drive away into the night, leaving them behind and as I make my way toward my own happiness.
I need to do what I have to do to get back my wife and son ... my unborn child.
My family.
From the moment I walk into Jerry's on Monday night for the weekly card game, my stomach is tied in a knot. A few of the guys are eyeing me sideways, and it makes me paranoid. The plan Tony and I worked out has so many ways to go wrong, so many variables, and it feels like they can see my anxiety.
"Eddie! Long time, no see." Jimmy's welcoming grin causes my steps to falter, but I get myself together and plaster on my own fake smile. He hasn't spoken to me since Tony's wedding, and his sudden friendliness would be a red flag if I didn't already know he has plans for me.
"Jimmy." I nod my head in greeting.
"Why don't you join us in the back room tonight?"
I'm already shaking my head. "Nah. Cards aren't really my thing. I'm just gonna wait out here for Felix to show up."
He tilts his head, a smarmy grin lighting his face. "You ain't too good with invitations, are you?"
I don't reply.
"Come on," he says with a tilt of his head. "Should be an interesting game tonight."
I nod and follow, ignoring the voice screaming in the back of my head to run in the other direction. This wasn't part of the plan.
Jimmy settles in his chair at the table and motions for me to take a seat. "Low stakes tonight, gentlemen. Our boy here doesn't quite know what he's getting himself into." He lights a cigarette as one of his buddies deals.
A few hands pass, and I still can't relax. I'm focused on the cards in my hand, thinking about how quickly I can fold when Jimmy pipes up from across the table.
"So, how's the wife, Eddie? Still down in ... Where was it? Florida?"
I nod, taking a deep breath to calm my nerves and keep the shakiness out of my voice. "Yeah. Her brother's down that way."
"And you just let her go down there without you?"
I shrug like it doesn't bother me, like I don't know he already knows where my wife is. "She's with her brother. I know she's okay. And I wouldn't want to keep her from seeing her family."
"Yeah, but in her ... condition?"
My head snaps up, and my eyes meet his. I'm greeted with his evil glare, and I know the plan we had to draw him out of here is at risk of blowing up in my face. My reaction must be what he was aiming for because his eyes light up. I inwardly curse myself for letting my emotions show on my face, but it's too late now to do anything about it.
The table is silent, everyone's nervous glances shift between the two of us.
"Seems Eddie boy's wife is expecting again." His gaze fixes on me. "Isn't that right?"
"She is." I nod and swallow down the curses I want to throw at him as I grip the cards in my hand more tightly. With a room full of Jimmy's associates, I know I can't run my mouth in here. But the anger I have for the man across the table from me is vibrating through my body.
"Congratulations, Cullen! Let's order a round to celebrate." He waves over one of the girls who works the bar and asks for shots to be poured for everyone at the table.
When they're delivered, the guys all grab their glasses, and Jimmy raises his in a toast.
"To Eddie and the missus!"
"Salute!" everyone calls out in unison, and they all tip back their shot, myself included. The burn of the alcohol down my throat is hardly noticeable with the acid churning in my gut.
"From what I hear, she probably shouldn't be away from home for too long. She looked just about ready to ... pop." Jimmy's chuckle is dark and menacing.
The cards in my hand nearly bend in half from the grip I have on them, trying to keep me from flying across the table at the man directly threatening my wife.
"Sure it's safe for her to be so far away from home in her delicate state?"
"She's a lot tougher than she looks." I level him with a stare. The anger that's been boiling under the surface of my skin is now a blazing fire. All I need is the opportunity, and this asshole won't know what hit him.
"Oh, I don't doubt that for a minute. That one's got fire in her eyes. Must be a wildcat in the sack." His laughter brings out nervous chuckles from the other men in the room.
His piercing glare cuts through me. He knows he's insulted me, and there's not a damn thing I can do about it. Not in front of all these men.
I let his goading roll off my back and concentrate on finishing this card game as fast as possible.
Jimmy lays off the comments and orders a few more rounds of drinks. I glance at the clock, and I know Felix and Tony should be showing up soon.
"Sal!" Jimmy shouts over his shoulder to one of his buddies. "Get your ass over here and save my spot. I need to go take a piss." He stands from the table, and Sal sits in his place. My eyes follow Jimmy as he walks to the back of the room, heading for the can. When he tries the knob, it's locked.
"Hey! Hurry it up!" he yells through the door as he pounds on it. Whoever is in there must mumble back a response, because Jimmy makes an abrupt turn. "Ain't no way I'm goin' in there after Mikey. I'm gonna hit the alley." He takes a few steps before turning around. "When I get back, we'll see if I can get a few broads to stop by to help Cullen celebrate."
He turns the corner and disappears through the doorway leading to the back door.
Seconds pass, and my heart starts to pound double time. My eyes flash from the clock to the doorway, knowing this might be the opportunity I've been waiting for. Jimmy is alone, unprotected, and I may not get another chance like this again. I make an impulsive decision. I don't want to wait on my uncle to see what kind of elaborate scheme he's set up that could backfire, so I resolve to take charge of things myself.
I lay my cards on the table and try to control the shaking of my hands.
"Gentlemen, I appreciate the shot at the game, but I need to get going. My uncle and Felix should be here soon, and I need to be ready to head out." I stand and button my jacket. Everyone mumbles their distracted goodbyes, not really paying much mind to the lowly soldier running off to do his uncle's bidding.
After collecting my hat and overcoat, I head for the front door. If I hurry, I'll miss Tony and Felix's arrival. I'm able to slip out the door undetected, and I take advantage of the darkness of the evening, casually but purposefully walking around the corner and toward the alley.
The few drinks he's had make Jimmy a little less observant, and I'm able to sneak up on him without him noticing. My hands move without much thought, and in a flash, his head crashes into the brick wall.
My pulse is thrumming in my ears, and my heart is pounding against my ribcage as I steel myself for what needs to be done. He still has his dick in his hand when he whirls around to defend himself from the sudden attack, blood now pouring from his nose and head. His instincts kick in, and his free hand forms a fist as he blindly begins to swing. He's disoriented, so his hit misses me by a mile
His eyes focus on my face in the light of the street lamp, and recognition dawns on him. "Cullen?" Confusion quickly turns to rage, and he grunts as he charges for me. But I'm ready for it.
When his shoulder makes contact with me, I'm able to use his momentum against him and throw him into the pile of garbage bags on the ground.
"Didn't think you had it in you, you little prick," he says, his chest heaving.
I jump on him, straddling his chest and holding him down. "There's a lot of things about me you underestimated." With one hand holding him down, I'm able to land punch after punch to his face, and I'm able to stop his attempts at fighting back. If there's anything I've learned after the months and months of shakedowns, it's how to control and subdue my target.
What I don't anticipate is him managing to get to his gun. The gleam of the metal under the streetlight barely registers before he has it aimed at me. My reflexes spring into action before he can fire, and I grip the barrel in my hand, but Jimmy refuses to give up the fight.
"You son of a bitch! Who do you think you are? Huh? You no-good little punk." He struggles against my hold, but I still have the upper hand, and I'm hanging on to it for dear life. If I slip up, even a little, I'm a dead man.
"I'm just a nobody who wants his life back." With another push against the gun and the arm holding it, I manage to push it away from my torso. But as I do, the echo of a shot rings out in the darkness of the alley, just as I manage to get a free hand around his neck and squeeze with all my might.
He gasps for breath as he struggles against my hold, his hands flailing wildly, one still holding loosely to his gun. He's trying to fight off my attack, but it doesn't deter me from my goal; to end this man before he has a chance to act on any of his threats against my wife. His efforts to try and hit me stop as he grasps at my wrists once both my hands are wrapped around his throat. His body struggles under mine as I try to squeeze the life out of him.
"You should have never threatened her, you son of a bitch. She was supposed to be off limits," I growl at him. "What happened to honor? To respect? The wives are supposed to be untouchable."
My rant falls on deaf ears, though, because the familiar look of vacant eyes is soon reflected back at me.
I remove my hands from his neck as if I'm being burned and practically trip over myself getting off him. My chest is heaving, and my knuckles are bloody, but a sense of calm instantly falls over me. I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, Bella and EJ will be safe with Jimmy dead. I know Amato and LaRocca will want retribution for Jimmy's death, but they'll stick to their code of honor; one which Jimmy apparently didn't. My death will be enough for them.
Voices coming from the direction of the street snap me out of my thoughts, and I know I need to get moving. The success of the rest of our plan hinges on me getting away from the club.
I stumble to my feet, a sharp pain ripping through my leg as I stand, and snatch my hat off the ground. I turn toward the mouth of the alley and move as fast as my feet can carry me toward my car. Shouting voices, Tony's among them, carry over the sound of me starting the engine, and I peel down the road toward the Strip District. This time of night, the places still in business in that part of town are all on shift, which is why we chose it. No one will be out to witness anything.
It isn't until I'm several blocks from the club that I realize I've been shot.
With the adrenaline pumping through my system, I had no idea I'd taken a bullet. I didn't feel it. But judging by the blood seeping through the fabric of my pants, James managed to hit my thigh.
I do my best to ignore the pain and keep driving. Hopefully, there will be enough time later to fix me up. The streets are mostly quiet and all but deserted the closer I get to the 31st Street Bridge, which I'm counting on. The headlights reflected in my rear-view mirror grow closer as I start to cross it, but then again, I'm expecting that.
"Showtime." The crack in my voice is evident, even to my own ears, and betrays the confidence I had when we planned all this. So many things could go wrong, so much already has, but I have to trust my uncle will see it through to the end.
The familiar red of Felix's car speeds past me, and cuts me off, causing me to slam on the breaks. An enraged Tony and a nervous looking Felix get out of the other car, and I put my own in park and cut the engine.
I open my door before Tony reaches me, but he's there, yanking me out, before my feet touch the pavement.
"What the fuck do you think you were doin', huh? You decide to kill Amato's nephew and think you can get away with it? You have any idea how it looks to have you kill a made guy? Huh? How it makes me look? I vouched for you, kid. I put my name on the line so you could have a shot at a job. And this is how you repay me?"
I can't get a word in edgewise as he pulls me closer and closer to the side of the bridge. We're nearly dead center, high above the cold water below.
"Uh, Mr. Mancini? You think we maybe oughta take him to Amato? Let him sort it out? I'd hate for you to have this on your—"
"We don't pay you to think, Felix," Tony says angrily over his shoulder. He turns back to me. "Seems Eddie here thinks he's a little too big for his britches these days. Ungrateful of the opportunities he's been given, lying to everyone about where his wife is ..." My uncle shakes his head. "Eddie here is a loose end that needs to be tied up." His eyes flash to Felix's before meeting mine. "And seeing how he's sullied my name, my reputation, I think it's only right I get to take care of it." His eyes narrow, and his grip tightens as he drags me to the edge of the bridge.
Tony tries to pull me to my feet, but the weight on my injured leg causes pain to shoot through me. I stumble and gasp, making Tony look down.
"By the looks of it, you'd probably bleed to death anyway"—he steps even closer, his face in mine—"so let's just help it along." Felix says nothing as my uncle puts both of his hands on me, his fists gripping my jacket, and I squeeze my eyes closed. "I'll be sure to tell your mother you were an honorable man ... even if it's a load of bullshit. See 'ya in hell, kid."
With one good shove, I'm pushed over the concrete barrier of the bridge.
The sensation of falling is peaceful in the moments before I hit the icy water. As I plunge below the surface, my last thoughts before the darkness overtakes me are of my wife, my son, and their smiling faces ... and of a child I may never know.
This has all been for you, and if I could undo it, if I could take away the heartache I've caused, I would. I only hope you can forgive me.
Bella
The drive back to Pittsburgh went much faster than I'd have liked. I wasn't ready to face it, but I wasn't left much choice. There were things I needed to take care of. Choosing to leave EJ with Rosalie while Maggie drove me back was a difficult decision, but one I don't regret. It would have been too hard to care for him in the state I was in. I was despondent, nearly catatonic, and it didn't get much better after we arrived.
It's been days since we got here, and in a zombie-like state, I've been able to pack up what's left of the belongings in our home. Esme has been silently working alongside me and hasn't said much, other than making known her disappointment that I didn't bring my son. Though, I understand why she's upset. Along with the child I'm carrying, EJ is the last link she has to Edward.
Edward.
Even thinking his name brings on a fresh round of tears. His disappearance was a mystery ... until his blood-stained hat, the same hat I bought for his last birthday, washed up on the bank of the Monongahela River. The rumors have been swirling, and everyone has done their very best to keep it from me, but I know.
He's gone.
Any hope I had of reconciling, of trying to fix our failed relationship, drowned in the cold waters of the river. His body hasn't been recovered, and along with my broken spirit, it may never be.
"Are you sure you won't reconsider staying, Bella?" Esme's quiet plea makes my heart ache, and I hate to hurt her, but there are too many memories here.
I shake my head, swallowing my tears. "I can't." I turn to face her. "I'm sorry."
"But, Bella, we—"
"I can't, Esme. For my own sanity, I need a fresh start." I look around the now empty house, before gazing out the window. "It hurts too much," I whisper.
She wraps her arms around me and holds me close, allowing me to cry into her shoulder.
"Oh, you poor, sweet girl. I'm so, so sorry." She kisses the top of my head. "But please promise me you'll try and come home for a visit. Or at least send us pictures of our grandchildren." She places a gentle hand on my belly, and we're both reminded of how much we still have yet to lose; her another grandchild, and me a woman I've come to think of as a mother.
I wipe my nose with a Kleenex and nod my head. "I'll try."
The visit to the lawyer's office isn't much easier. Before Edward's death, he apparently made his uncle his power of attorney, so I'm left with no choice but to face him when we sign papers regarding Edward's accounts and the sale of our home ... no matter how sick the sight of him and all he represents makes me.
"I'm really sorry, Bella. Eddie was a good kid."
We're standing outside the lawyer's office, and our goodbye has turned from awkward to tense.
I curtly nod my head, ready for this encounter to be done so I can return to Chicago and start the rest of my life.
"But you and your kids will be well taken care of. He saw to that before he ..."
Again, I nod, blinking back tears.
Exhausted and heartbroken, Maggie and I make it back in less than a week after we left. The smile that lights EJ's face is enough to bring back some life to my weary heart.
We soon fall into a routine, and the days turn into weeks. My belly grows as the days get colder, my first winter in Chicago just around the corner. My brief trip away caused the families whose children I watched to find another babysitter, so it's been just EJ and me. Which is fine. Edward made sure his money would provide for us in the case of his death, so I'm not really concerned about how I'll support us. At least not yet. There's plenty of time to worry about all that later.
We take advantage of the warmer sunny days and go for walks, bundled in our coats. We walk to the local market, to the park, around the block, but on those days, when we're outside, an unsettling feeling comes over me; a feeling of being watched.
When that feeling tingles up my spine, I make an effort to be more aware of my surroundings, looking for people or things out of place, and I start seeing the same red truck, over and over, but it quickly drives away every time.
I tell Maggie and Rose about it, and they say I'm being paranoid, but I still can't shake the feeling. But they do what good friends do and make an effort not to leave me alone. Weeks pass, and I've finally had enough of their babysitting.
"Go, I'll be fine," I insist.
"You're sure?" Maggie half-heartedly asks as she reaches for her coat.
"Yes," I say with a laugh. "Go see the movie. EJ and I will be fine, won't we?" I turn to my son, his attention on us when he hears his name.
"Uh huh," he says with a nod.
"Okay, but don't wait up." Maggie kisses my cheek as Rosalie says her goodbyes from the door, and they're gone in a flash.
"Looks like it's just you and me, kiddo." I sit on the edge of the sofa, unwilling to get myself stuck in it once again, and EJ brings me toy after toy to play with him.
Not five minutes pass before there's a knock on the door.
"One of your aunties must've forgotten their key, big guy."
"Guy!" EJ mimics.
I ruffle his bronze locks, so much like his father's now that it's long enough to curl on the top of his head.
I waddle to the door, expecting to tease my friends, but what I see on my doorstep steals my breath.
Thinner than he was the last time I saw him, more haggard looking than he's ever been, the face of a ghost looks back at me.
"Bella." His voice croaks and mine escapes me.
My heart pounds furiously in my chest, and a sudden wave of dizziness washes over me. I'm unable to speak, but EJ isn't. What he says next makes me realize I haven't lost my mind; that I'm really seeing what I am and not the ghost of my dead husband.
"Da!"
A/N: Still with me? If you made it to the end of the chapter, thank you for trusting me. Question now is, will she welcome him back with open arms?
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Lots of love,
Sunshine