Thank you to 2brown-eyes, ceceprincess1217, gabby1017, and DICATAKADD for pre-reading, and to SunflowerFran for editing. And since I fiddle, any remaining mistakes are my own. ;)
Song for this chapter, Can't Help Falling in Love With You, by Elvis.
**Please, please see the A/N at the end!**
Chapter 15
Bella
"Is it letting up any?"
Edward shakes his head as he stands at the window, peeking between the curtains. "No, and I'm worried the ice might bring down a few tree limbs. There's a few a little too close to the house." He lets the curtain fall and turns to face me. "Hope we don't lose power."
"You think we might?"
"We could." He points to the unused fireplace across the room as he walks toward me. "But at least we have back up heat if we need it. I'm not too worried." He sits next to me on the sofa. "How are you feeling tonight? Any more of those cramps you were getting?"
I shake my head. "No. No more cramps. I'm a little achy, but I'm okay." I look up at him from my project. "I'm just ready for it to be over," I say with a small grin.
"He'll be here before we know it. And when he's got us up at three in the morning, we'll be wishing you were still expecting."
"Yeah, you're probably right." I sigh. "But I'm still ready."
He chuckles but doesn't say anything as we sit side by side, listening to the radio. The signal is weak on a good day, but the bad weather raging outside is causing it to crackle and fade in and out. It also means we won't even attempt to tune in a signal on the television. It's just another thing we've had to get used to after moving to a small, rural town.
Life in Forks has been an easier adjustment for me than I thought it would be. I'm more than used to having quiet days at home, alone with my son. The only difference is, Edward is back in our lives. He leaves and comes home every day at the same time, we all eat dinner together, and he helps to put EJ to bed every night. The time between lights out for EJ and lights out for us, we spend talking. And we've grown closer than I ever imagined possible.
"It was nice for Sue to call and let us know they got home okay," he says.
I nod as I start crocheting the next row of the baby blanket I'm working on. "I asked her to," I say softly.
"Well, at least they didn't have far to go. It's only a mile down the road."
"I still would have worried about them. Snow is one thing, but driving on ice is another." I pause what I'm doing and look up. "Do you think it'll stop soon?"
He shrugs. "I'm not sure. The paper only said it would be cold with some rain tonight."
I snort a laugh and shake my head. "Rain. Now, there's a surprise." I lean forward in my chair and rub at my sore lower back.
Edward smiles in return. "Yeah, big surprise. But hey, at least I don't have to drive into work tomorrow. It's a holiday and a Sunday." He scoots closer and reaches down to take over for me. His larger hand is warm and soothing to my aching muscles.
"That feels so good." I close my eyes and relax at his touch.
While we're still sleeping in separate beds, maintaining a careful distance while we work on our relationship, he's convinced me to let him help with anything that has to do with the pregnancy or the new baby. Apparently, back rubs and occasional foot rubs are on that list.
"As mundane as this is, it sure beats how I spent New Year's Eve last year." My comment causes his hands to pause before starting again.
"It does," he says simply. Another moment passes before he speaks. "But I wouldn't call this mundane."
"Oh?" I turn my head to look at him. "And what would you call it?"
"Spending time with my best girl, who happens to be carrying my baby, and having my son just down the hall? I'd say it's just about perfect." He leans close enough to kiss the side of my head, and it's enough to send the butterflies flying in my already crowded belly.
"Know what would make it even more perfect?" he asks as he gets up from the sofa.
"No, what?"
"If we could dance our way into the new year," he says as he rifles through the small stack of records we have next to the record player. He pulls one from its jacket and places it on the turntable, setting the needle and adjusting the volume. He turns to me, a smile on his face. "What do ya say, Mrs. Cullen? Care to dance?" He's holding his hand out for me, and his sudden playfulness makes me smile and shake my head.
"Edward, I can barely see my feet, and you expect me to dance?"
He grins and steps closer, reaching for my hand. "You don't need to see them. I'll lead." He pulls me to stand, needing a little more oomph to help me to my feet, but I eventually get there. "If I remember right, we're pretty good together."
I let him pull me as close as the growing child between us will allow, and melt into his arms. The notes of our song fill the air, and I get lost in the moment. We sway in the middle of our living room like we're the only two people in the world.
"I've missed this," he whispers.
"What?" I ask just as quietly.
"Having you in my arms." He pulls away enough to look at me. "I mean, I touch you all the time; helping you get up or to rub your back or your feet ... stuff like that." He holds me close once again, tucking me under his chin. "But I think this is the first time I've held you like this since I got you back." Only the sound of his pounding heart can be heard as I lay my head against his chest. "I do, don't I? Have you back?"
It's my turn to pull away and look up at him. The fear he's had since he came to find me is still lingering in his eyes, but I also see his love for me, his need to have me back ... completely.
"You do." The whisper barely leaves my lips before his are on mine.
Our first kiss in many, many months is gentle, tentative, and feather light. But it's full of promise; a promise of the good times ahead. And as the clock strikes midnight, and a new year begins, we're wrapped in each other's arms, swaying to the music as we promise to finally put the past behind us and move forward.
When the record player needle begins to skip against the paper label, we part. He turns off the player as I turn off the lights. And as he helps me up the stairs, I work up the courage to ask him a question that would make our declarations downstairs more real.
He walks me to my door, and for the first time since we've moved in, he leans down and gives me a kiss goodnight.
"Sleep well, Bella. Let me know if you need me."
He turns to walk away, but before he takes a single step, I grab his hand. "Wait."
"What is it?"
I take a deep breath and blow it out, needing to look confident when I ask him. "Stay with me tonight? Every night," I clarify. "I'm done sleeping alone."
His eyes light with something new; hope. "You're sure?"
I nod. "I am."
"Okay, just let me go grab a few things." He kisses my forehead and disappears into the third bedroom to collect his nightclothes.
I quickly dress in my own and slip under the blankets. As many times as I've waited for him to come to bed, I can't remember the last time I felt this nervous. And I'm not even ready to make love with him again, seeing as how I'm as big as a house, but the anticipation of having him that close all night is almost unbearable.
When he steps through the doorway, he looks as nervous as I feel, and for some reason, it makes me relax. He's dressed in blue, cotton pants and a white, sleeveless undershirt. His hair is a mess. It looks like he's been running his fingers through it non-stop.
He slowly walks to what was, and still is, his side and slips under the blankets. If our hearts could be heard, I'm sure they would both be pounding like drums. He hasn't moved, his head still stock-still on his pillow, staring straight at the ceiling.
"You okay?" I ask.
He finally turns to me. "Yeah. Why?"
I shrug a shoulder, lying on my side with my hands tucked under my chin. "You look like you're waiting for the firing squad." I smile, hoping to get the same in return.
I do. He grins, and his shoulders visibly relax as he turns on his side to face me. "Sorry. I just don't want to do anything to mess this up." His hand reaches for my face, and his fingers brush some hair from my eyes.
I grab it and bring it to my lips. "You won't," I whisper.
He moves closer, and his lips are soon on mine. It's a slow, languid kiss, and it sparks feelings in me that I've not felt in a very long time. The butterflies I felt earlier tonight are nothing compared to the swirling, building feeling of want now washing over me. With every kiss, with every breath of his against my skin, it builds. His hands are so gentle and careful, and all I want to do is pull him closer. But just as I'm about to ask him to make me his again, the child between us makes his presence known, pressing a foot or elbow sharply against my ribs.
I pull away, and we both try to catch our breath. He rests his forehead against mine, and I instantly miss the contact of his lips.
"I'm sorry. I really want ... I want ..." I'm unable to communicate what it is I'm asking for, but he already knows.
"No, baby. As much as I want that, we're not ready."
I resist the urge to huff and close my eyes. "I'm sure me looking like an elephant isn't helping anything either."
"Bella," he whispers as he traces my cheek with his finger. "Open your eyes, please."
I do, and I'm met with a gaze so full of love and devotion it's almost painful to look at.
"You're the most beautiful girl I've ever known, and you carrying our baby, one made from the love we share, is the most amazing gift you could ever give me. I've never seen you look so beautiful. We'll take that step when we're ready. When we're both ready."
I nod as he kisses my forehead before I turn myself over to sleep on my left side, facing away from him. I arrange my extra pillow under my belly and try my best to get comfortable. He waits patiently, until I stop moving before he reaches around me to hold me close; one arm under my neck, and the other wrapped securely around my belly, our hands joined together and resting over our unborn child.
It's not the wind whipping the trees outside that wakes me, but the twinge of pain low in my abdomen. The dull ache I'd been feeling earlier is now radiating around to the front. I do my best not to wake my sleeping husband, but I must've made a sound when the pain began.
"What's wrong?" he mumbles sleepily from behind me. He sits up a little, peering over my grimacing form. "Bella? What is it?" He turns and switches on the light before turning his attention back to me.
"I think it might be time."
"Time? The baby?"
"Yeah." I curl in on myself when another pain strikes. "I think so."
"What can I do?" His hand is holding my upper arm, gently squeezing me in his panic.
I wait until the wave of discomfort passes before I answer him. "Let's just wait and see if it stops. The doctor said if they slow down or aren't regular, then it's just a false alarm."
"Okay, okay. So I need to watch the clock or something?"
"Yeah, just keep an eye on it, so I don't have to."
"I can do that," he says confidently. He kisses my shoulder before slipping out of bed.
"Where are you going?" I sound almost frantic, afraid for him to leave my side.
"I'm just grabbing my watch. Try to close your eyes and relax. Don't worry about anything." He steps to my bedside and crouches down until his face is level with mine. "It's my turn to worry." He kisses my forehead and pulls the covers up over me, tucking me back into bed.
When the pains come again five minutes later, then four, we decide to call the doctor. And when we discover the road that leads from our end of town to the hospital is blocked due to a downed tree, I try not to panic.
"The doctor told me to call back in a little bit to let him know what we decided to do."
I nod, not feeling at all confident in making any decisions. "I'm scared, Edward." My whispered confession earns me another kiss to my forehead.
"There's nothing to be afraid of, Bella. Women have been having babies since the beginning of time. I'm pretty sure we can handle this. And you've done this before."
"Yeah, in a hospital, with drugs. I don't remember anything." My voice is rising in panic once again, and he tries his best to soothe me.
"I know this sounds crazy, but maybe your body will remember. It's natural, right? The way God made you. It'll be fine."
I squeeze my eyes closed, gritting my teeth as the pains begin all over again. I'm up on our bed, on my hands and knees, trying to get some relief from the agonizing pain. As I rock back and forth, the pain slowly fades until I'm left almost breathless. I turn to my husband who's been at my side since my labor began and smile. "I somehow don't think this is what he had in mind."
Hours pass, and through calls with the doctor and a few with Sue, Edward is there every painful step of the way. And when dawn finally breaks, a knock on our front door is music to my ears.
"I'll be right back," Edward kisses the side of my head before he starts to walk away.
"Where are you going?" I ask in a panic.
"I'm just going to let Sue in the house. She said she was going to come if the ice stopped, which it did about an hour ago."
I nod my sweaty head. "Okay, just hurry back."
"I will."
Voices and the sounds of my son waking up in the other room can be heard as they float down the hallway. A few moments later, Sue's smiling face peeks through the door.
"Well, there's my favorite girl." She walks in and sits beside me on the bed. "That husband of yours being helpful?"
I smile. "As helpful as he can, considering he's a little out of his element," I tease. And as if on cue, another contraction begins.
I close my eyes and concentrate on breathing, which seems to help. The moment passes, and I take a deep, cleansing breath.
"You're doing such a good job, Bella." She wipes a cool rag across my forehead. "Edward told me you've been such a trooper."
"I think he might be a little biased."
"Well, that boy loves you, and I can tell it's tearing him up inside to see you in so much pain."
"Not a lot I can do about that, is there?"
"Well, no, not really. Unless you want to try to get to the hospital. I'm sure we can find another way around the closed road. And the freezing rain finally stopped. If you want to go, we can make it happen."
Another pain tears through me, and it's different from the others, making me gasp. "I don't think there's time. It feels different, Sue. Feels like I need to push."
"Okay. I'm gonna go get Edward. We'll be right back. Don't go anywhere," she says as she disappears through the doorway.
I laugh through the pain as I switch my position.
My husband and friend rush back into the room, and I'm momentarily worried about my other baby.
"Where's EJ?" I ask, panicked.
"Don't worry, Bella. Harry has him. They're polishing off the box of Cheerios as we speak." She winks as she busies herself with getting blankets and towels prepared for what's about to happen.
The pains are almost constant now, and the breathing isn't helping like it has been.
"Bella, calm down, honey. You're going to hyperventilate and pass out if you don't calm down. Deep breath in."
I copy Sue's breathing, inhaling deeply and holding it.
"Now out." She blows through her pursed lips, and I do the same. "Good. Now, do that until you feel another contraction, then we'll see about pushing." She slides a stack of blankets under my backside, and directs Edward to sit behind me to hold me up.
"You sure that's all I can do?" he asks her as he slips behind me.
"Well, between the two of us, I'd say with me having three babies at home, I might be slightly more qualified on the business end of things," she says with a wink.
He chuckles as he wraps his arms around me, supporting my exhausted body. "Yeah, I guess you're right."
"Consider yourself privileged, Eddie. If she'd delivered at the hospital, you'd be banished to the waiting room. Now, you've got a front-row seat most dads don't get." She turns her attention to me. "Now, let's meet this new baby of yours."
Pushing your baby into the world and being fully awake to experience it is something I'm not sure I want to do again. But I also wouldn't trade it for anything. Being an active participant, being able to hold my daughter the moment she left my body is a memory I'll always keep close to my heart. And Edward, being only the second person to hold her is a gift ... one I never expected to be able to give him.
"She's beautiful, Bella. She looks just like you." The tears in his eyes bring them to mine, as well.
"I think she has your hair."
He shakes his head. "I hope not." His eyes meet mine. "I've never felt more blessed and thankful than I do right now. Thank you so much for giving me another chance; for letting me be a part of all this." He leans close and places a gentle kiss on my lips.
A soft knock on the door gets our attention, and we look up from the sleeping angel in her father's arms.
"Somebody was anxious to see his mommy and make sure she was okay." Sue walks in with EJ perched on her hip.
"Mama!"
"Hi, baby boy. Do you want to meet your new sister?"
He nods as Sue places him on the bed with us. "I'll just give you guys a few minutes. Call me when you want me to come get him."
"Thanks, Sue."
She nods and disappears through the door.
EJ scrambles up to my side, careful of the new, tiny person tucked between his parents.
"EJ, I'd like you to meet Elizabeth," Edward announces to our son.
He's curious, leaning over me to get a peek. When his new sibling squeaks a tiny yawn, his eyes widen.
"That?" he asks.
"That's our baby. Can you say baby? Can you say baby Elizabeth?"
"Baby," he says with a beaming smile.
"That's right, baby Elizabeth. Your sister." I pull him closer, and we just sit and bask in the happiness we're all feeling.
"I love you," Edward whispers before kissing the top of my head. "I love all of you so much it almost hurts."
I look up into his eyes, and I can see the mix of emotions swirling in them. "I love you too, Edward."
"I'm so sorry I wasted so much time doing things wrong, Bella. I gave up so many moments like this for things I thought were more important; things that in the end didn't matter."
"But you're here now, and that's all that matters.
As I watch Edward with his children, in the new life we're building for ourselves, I still see glimpses of the boy I married. But I also see the man he's become. Through all the heartache, all the wasted time, he's grown. He realizes the things money can buy don't guarantee happiness, and sometimes they can strip you of what happiness you already have. No, he's not the boy I married, but he's grown into the man he was meant to be and the one I'll spend the rest of my life loving.
The Man
I'll never fully be able to explain the depth of love and respect I have for my wife. Bella welcomed me back into her life, even after all the pain and heartache I put her through, and I couldn't be more thankful for the second chance. I'll spend the rest of my life making sure she's happy, safe ... loved. And in return, I get to be here to see her smile every day, watch our kids—our family—grow, and hopefully grow old by her side.
Being there for Elizabeth's birth was an unbelievable experience, one few fathers get to be part of. But for us, it was more than a new life coming into the world in the quiet shelter of our home. It was almost a rebirth for all of us; a fresh start in each and every way.
Watching my kids grow and change is something I thought I might miss out on, but since I got them back, I've been here for all of it. From EJ growing from a toddler into a little boy, to being here for Elizabeth's first words, first steps, first birthday, and all the firsts I missed with my son; I don't plan to miss another milestone or even another boring Sunday afternoon. They're all special days to me.
Being here with them is a privilege I won't ever again take for granted. The boy who almost lost it all is gone—dead and forgotten. I realize how dangerously close I came to losing everything, and I won't do anything to jeopardize the life I now have. I don't want my wife and kids to ever regret allowing me back into their lives, and I'll spend the rest of mine making sure I'm the man they need.
A/N: Well, that almost does it for these two. Only the epilogue is left to post. I'm kind of sad to see these two go, but their story is just about told.
I have some exciting news to share! Not the Boy I Married has been nominated in the TwiFic Fandom Awards in the Favorite Drop Everything Fic category! It's pretty cool to see it in the list along with so many other great stories. So, thank you to whoever nominated it!
I'm nominated in a few other categories, too. :)
Favorite All-Time Fic: Duplicity
Favorite Ficlette: The Bed I Made
Favorite My Emotions Fic: Duplicity and Forged By Fire
Favorite Potential Best-Selling Author ... This one still has me speechless!
Favorite Veteran Author ... A VETERAN? The names I'm next to on this list ... I'm honored, guys, really.
I mean ... wow! Thanks so very much to whoever nominated me! It means so very much. You guys rock! Xoxo
The first round of voting is open until 11:59 PM EST on 2/17, and you can vote in each category once every 24 hours. I'd really appreciate your votes. And this is our opportunity to show our love and appreciation to all the people who make our fandom so great. From banner makers to betas, and pre-readers to fangirls, you can say thanks with a vote. ;)
Duplicity and Thumper are also on the yearly poll for the top 10 fics of 2018 over on Twifanfictionrecs dot com. You can vote daily, and I'd love to have a few of those votes, too!
Once again, review replies are few and far between. Between RL, dealing with sick kids and a nasty case of man flu in my house, and trying to get ahead on chapters of an upcoming fic, I've been an utter fail at replying. I miss it, so I'll try to do better. But please know, I read them all, and I cherish each and every one of them.
For up to date info about upcoming stories, please join me in my Facebook group, Sunshine Fics. I share exclusive weekly teasers, among other things.
See you next week!
Lots of love,
Sunshine