I got some feels going here. Not really a tissue warning I don't think, because I didn't cry and we all know I'm a total softy, but who knows! There's some angst. I hope you enjoy it!
Chapter 16
Greg pulled up in their driveway and took a deep breath. He took the keys from the ignition and stared at the building for a minute. He closed his eyes and swallowed, begging the universe for the words he needed to save his marriage. He grabbed the duffel bag next to him with his go-kit in it, knowing that he'd have to restock after this case and last night's hotel stay. He hit the door lock on his key fob as he headed up the walk to the door.
As he slipped the key in and unlocked the deadbolt with a loud thunk, he took another deep breath. You got this. Stay calm. Demand her calm. Don't give in. You got this. You got this.
He pushed his way into the house and dropped his duffel bag in the living room. He moved into the bedroom to find Tiffany sitting up in bed, a box of Kleenex next to her and lots of used ones piled around her on the bed, the night stand, and the floor. A leftover empty pizza box was sitting next to her on the bed as well. She looked at him with red puffy eyes, the signs of hard crying more than evident in her stringy hair hanging around her face and her damp shirt.
The corner of his mouth bent into a frown and he dropped his gun, badge, phone and keys on top of the dresser. There were still pieces of the alarm clock on the floor, though most of it had been picked up.
"I hate seeing you like this," he said softly.
"Are you leaving again?" she asked just as softly, a sob escaping.
"Not today," he said. He moved to the bed and pushed the pizza box and tissues down toward the foot and sat next to her, taking her hand. "The case is over. It was horrible. Serial killer turning kids into terrorists."
"Oh," she said, looking down.
Greg looked aimlessly around the room before looking back at her. "We need to have a really serious conversation. Before we do that though, have you checked your sugar? Did you really eat a whole pizza?"
"I started eating it for lunch yesterday," she said with a shrug. She seemed remarkably vulnerable and small. He hadn't seen her look that way for a long time. He wondered if her sugar levels were off and possibly screwing with her emotions even further.
"Let's test," he said, squeezing her hand to go into the bathroom and get the glucometer. He came back and gently took her hand, holding her finger as he placed the device on it to prick for a blood sample. It shook with nerves, and after he got the sample Greg brought the fingers to his lips to kiss them softly. The expression Tiffany gave him was of embarrassed shame. He frowned at that and looked down at the meter.
"Honey, your counts are way up," he said with the gentle tone of someone trying to coax a hurt pet to them. "You're going to need a shot."
She nodded, chewing her lip. He went into the kitchen and got the needle of insulin from the fridge and came in. She wouldn't look at him if he was looking at her, but he saw in his peripheral that she stared at his face as he focused on injecting her with the serum. As soon as he was finished and looked back up at her as he capped the used needle, she looked away.
"I'm going to go get rid of this and make some coffee. Give that some time to work and bring you back around before we talk. Do you want some coffee?"
She shook her head.
"How about some lemonade?" he asked, knowing that there was an endless supply of sugar free lemonade in the cabinets at any given time. Her shrug was his only response. "We should get something to drink in you. I'll be back."
He spent about fifteen minutes waiting for the pot of coffee to percolate and making a pitcher of Crystal Light. When he came back into the bedroom he sat a glass of lemonade next to Tiff on the nightstand and started cleaning up the tissues, shoving them into the pizza box. He stayed quiet and waited as he worked, letting the insulin get into her system and start bringing her back around.
When he came back into the room from taking the tissue-pizza box to the trash he found Tiffany drinking down half of the glass of lemonade. Her eyes were still red, but her face didn't look so confused. She still looked defeated and ashamed though.
"How about a shower?" he said quietly, sitting on the edge of the bed next to her, pushing her hair behind her ear. "When was the last time you took one?"
"Been a couple of days," she whispered.
"That'll make you feel better. Come on," he said, pulling back the blanket and taking her hand. She chewed her lip again and hesitantly let him lead her to the bathroom. He helped her take her clothes off, then took his own off after a moment of thought. He got the water just right and guided her over the edge of the bathtub and directly under the warm stream. They were facing each other, and as he brushed her hair back as the water pushed it over her face, he saw her jaw quivering. He bit his own bottom lip and shook his head slightly.
"Oh, love. We're going to fix this. We're going to find a way to make this work," he said calmly. "I promise."
Tiffany burst out into tears and he pulled her sobbing body against his, her head on his shoulder as she could only lean against him and cry. He kissed her temple. "I've got you, honey. I've got you." After a couple minutes of her crying, with one arm around her, he reached for the loofah and screwed up his face as he tried to figure out how he was going to get the soap on it. He eventually managed it and started rubbing it over her body. He let her lean against him and the wall alternately as he gave her a quick cleaning, then reached for the shampoo. He soaped up her hair and told her to lean back to let the water rinse the soap down her back instead of over her face. The entire time she kept sobbing.
Once she was cleaned he turned the water off and just held her until she started feeling cold to him. He guided her out of the shower and started drying her off. He noticed she had one of those hair clips on the counter that opened like a mouth full of teeth. He grabbed it and twisted her hair, putting it up haphazardly with the clip so that it was out of her face. He wrapped a big towel around her and led her out to the bed with him, still naked. He laid her on the bed, then slipped some boxers on before he got in on his side and held her as she cried and cried.
"I've got you. We'll figure this out. I love you, babe. I know you're in there under all these hormones. We'll work it out." He whispered these reassurances for twenty minutes until she fell asleep in his arms. He laid with her, slightly shaking his head now and then as he thought through the situation.
He'd taken Hormones and Behavior in his undergrad and knew that this wasn't normal, even for a pregnant woman with the kinds of complications that Tiffany was having. He was going to need a medical doctor. Whatever was happening with Tiffany was beyond his paygrade. He regretted leaving his phone across the room. He wanted to research this, but he didn't want to move Tiffany, so he reached for her phone on the nightstand instead.
He unlocked the screen and saw that her messages were up. He knew with everything in him that he shouldn't be looking through them, but he saw that she had been texting the friend he was going to ask to come to town to spend some time with her. He didn't like what he was seeing, so he scrolled up into the messages.
Tiffany: He's not coming home again tonight! I don't know what to do! I'm stuck in this bed pregnant w/his baby and he's out there doing God only knows what w/God only knows who!
Bree: Girl, do you really think he's cheating on you? Because Imma come up there and kick his balls up through his throat if you think he is.
Tiffany: I wouldn't blame him. I'm so horrible to him. All I do is bitch at him. I'd probably be looking somewhere else 2 if it were me
Bree: What proof do you have? Or is it just a gut feeling?
Tiffany: He's just never home! He's been gone almost all weekend. He comes home in the middle of the night, then leaves again the next morning really early. He says it's a work thing. Some big case. But isn't that what they all say? Some big project. Some big case. And what does it end up being? Some big titty ho or some flirty slut at work.
Bree: Girl, seriously. Man's a cop. Not just a cop, but a freakin' fed. Just ask him for some case details or something. Then when he tells you about it, fact check. Research that shit. Google is your friend.
Tiffany: They specialize in the crimes of military people. You know that shit doesn't make it to the news. They cover it up like it never happened.
Tiffany: Besides, he always tells me that he can't tell me about his work. Says that he "doesn't want work to contaminate his home life".
Bree: Normally I'd say red flag, but man's also a shrink. Not so farfetched.
Tiffany: Why wouldn't he cheat though? I mean, I was so screwed up this morning that I threw the fucking alarm clock at him. Like, boom! Crash! Bang! Broke the damn thing.
Bree: Hell. I'm surprised he didn't arrest you for assault on an officer. This is driving you that crazy?
Tiffany: He was so great about the pregnancy thing that I thought even if he was having an affair he'd call it off, and we'd be able to move on, but now he's gone again all weekend…
Bree: Shit honey. You thought he was having an affair before and you didn't tell me?
Tiffany: Well it was only suspicions. I didn't have any proof, and I don't know what I'd do without him, so I just… ya know… stayed. I need him. Now more than ever. And he's not fucking here. I should've just left, but now I'm pregnant and I'm stuck and I can't get out.
That was all that Greg could take reading. He shook Tiffany awake. She opened her eyes and looked around. He sat up in bed, and held up the phone. She looked at it with wide eyes.
"What are you doing with that?" she whispered.
"Tiffany Parke, I love you more than anything in this fucking world. I would never, in a million fucking years cheat on you. Never. Not a fucking chance. There is no one in this entire world that could tempt me into giving up my soul mate and best friend, certainly not some big tittied office ho. The fact that you would even think about that for a moment hurts me so fucking bad that I can't even tell you. I'd rather have taken that fucking alarm clock to the damn face!"
They were both sitting up by now, and Tiffany looked both shocked and ashamed.
"Not only that, but you've got Bree thinking this shit now, too. And damn it Tiff, you know that woman loves you to hell and back! I don't need to be choking on my own balls, and you know she'd do it!"
"I'm sorry! I just… I don't know what to think anymore!" she cried. "You're never here and I know I'm never here anymore, and I just… I thought…"
"You thought I could hurt the most important person I've ever had in my life like that?" Greg's voice cracked and he swallowed hard, his eyes burning.
Tiffany shrugged with one shoulder and hunkered in on herself, taking a pillow and holding it against her with a look of exhausted shame on her face.
Greg reined in his temper and took a few deep breaths as he looked around the room. He knew the stress wasn't good for the baby, and he'd rather absorb a bit of this than continue to lash out and hurt her by getting Tiffany's blood pressure even higher than it probably already was. He ground his teeth, then looked at Tiffany.
"I am a federal agent. I will always work crazy hours. I will always be gone at the most inopportune times. I will miss important moments in our lives, but I'm doing it to make this world a better place for you and our daughter, and everyone else out there. I feel like I've found my calling in this work. I have everything I could possibly want, but you're miserable. I have a wife I adore, a daughter on the way, a job that fulfills me and uses my talents while stretching me and keeping me challenged. I have a safe home and my bills are paid. But I'm miserable, because I know you're miserable, and if you're not happy, then all of it's for nothing because more than all of it- all of it- you are the most important thing in the entire world to me. You, Tiffany. But I'm not going to allow you to continue to treat me like crap just because you're pregnant, and I'm not going to accept you hiding secret suspicions like this and not talking them out with me. That's not my Tiffany. You're better than that."
Tiffany nodded, looking both calmer and crestfallen at his words.
"What we need to decide is what it's really going to take to make this work. What do we need to do in order to have a healthy marriage, a healthy family, and both do the work we love. And that starts now. What do you need?"
Tiffany shrugged slowly. "I don't know."
"Well, I talked to Tony and Gibbs and they suggested that you bring someone in to help you get settled into this bed rest stuff since I can't stop working. We need the money and insurance benefits now more than ever. They said they have the flyer miles that they'd be willing to donate to the cause. So, I thought we'd ask Bree to come spend the rest of the summer with you until she has to start back to school."
"Really?" she asked hopefully.
"Of course!" Greg said with a shake of his head. "You need the support, and she's a great choice for that. She is compassionate but also doesn't take any shit. If you get hormonal with her she'd put you in your place." He gave her a smile at that second part and she scoffed but smiled and shoved his knee. He chuckled. "Seriously though. It will give her the chance to see that I'm not cheating on you, too, because I feel like she's going to come busting through the wall any minute now like the Koolaid Man and kick me in the 'nads."
Tiffany burst out laughing. "She just might, in all honesty."
Greg smiled at her. "You're so beautiful when you laugh," he said softly. "I don't see enough of that anymore."
"I know," she said, twisting her lips in that shameful look again. "I'm really sorry that I threw the alarm clock at you."
"Yeah, that can never happen again." He was dead serious as he said it. He sighed. "I think you should go see your doctor about some hormone therapy while you're pregnant. I'm not sure what's possible right now, but there's gotta be something. You're straight up bipolar right now, and as much as I'm starting to fear for my wellbeing, I'm just as scared that when she's born you're going to fall into some serious postpartum. Maybe if we can treat the mood swings now it can prevent it. Who knows? We still don't know enough about how all of that happens. I can tell you though that you're scary these days. I expected mood swings, some serious ones even, but the digs you've been taking at me and the things you've been saying…" He shook his head. "It's abusive, Tiff."
Tiffany's eyes welled up with tears again and she swallowed back a sob, but she nodded. "I know," she whispered. "I'm so sorry, Greg. We've got our shit, but you don't deserve that."
"I'm not them honey. I'm not one of the bad guys. I spend my life trying to put the bad guys behind bars. Hell, the one we dealt with this weekend is going to get the death penalty come hell of high water. There are some seriously fucked up people in this world, and I know you know that, but I'm not one of them. I don't deserve to be treated like one."
She nodded, grabbing more Kleenex to blow her nose and wipe her eyes.
"And as for what you need, like I said, I talked to the boss about that. He knows that you're on bedrest and he's going to help me file for FMLA so that I can take care of you more. I can't be here all the time, but I'll be able to take time off as I need to when you're having a hard time. And I thought maybe we could look into having a nurse or an aide come check on you once a day? Blood pressure and sugar and all that? Only when I have to work. Otherwise I'll take care of you."
"Okay. I think that sounds good," Tiffany said and took a deep breath while nodding. "I can handle that. I just… I go through these feelings of wanting you here with me so damn bad. You're my everything, and I get scared and depressed and anxious and you're not here, and then I get angry at you for not being here, and then…"
Greg nodded. "I can understand that. I get just the opposite sometimes at work. Things get really stressful and just… dark… so dark… and I don't want to associate you with it at all. Like if you were to call it might somehow contaminate you. That you might have to see the darkness, and I know you've already seen your fair share. I only want sunshine for you for the rest of your life. I never want to be the source of your pain. But you know I have to work."
"I do. But, I thought that it might be more than work, and that made me so angry and sad and I've just been… going crazy."
"If you seriously doubt that I've been working I'll let you call anyone on the team randomly to verify that I've been on a case."
"No," she replied with a sad smile. "I think you've gotten your point across. I'll call off the Koolaid Man."
Greg smiled at her. "Good. But don't call off the Koolaid Man. Call her and tell her to get her ass on a plane. Her bestie needs her."
Tiffany grinned. "I think I should call my doctor first. See if she can squeeze me in today."
"I support this plan. I'm all yours today. Let's see what we can get taken care of."
"I love you, Greg."
"I love you, Tiff. Never doubt that."
"You may need to remind me now and then."
"Always knew that was part of the bargain when I married you. I'll spend every day possible reminding you."
"Thank you." She leaned forward and kissed him softly. He kissed her back, wrapping his arms around her. He held her long past the kiss, just breathing her in.
"I was afraid I was losing this," he whispered.
"I'm not going anywhere," she said.
"Yeah," he said chewing on his lip. "Your text message to Bree said that you'd stayed because you were stuck. That's never a good enough reason to stay, Tiffany. If you ever actually feel stuck, talk to me. We'll either get unstuck together, or we'll find a way to be separately together."
Tiffany pulled back to look him in the eyes. "I'm not stuck, Greg. I thought I was if you were cheating on me and I was pregnant, but… other than that I've never felt stuck for a moment with you."
Greg nodded, not sure if he believed that. "You're an incredibly strong woman, Tiffany. If you aren't happy, you deserve to go find that happiness. Don't stay because you're stuck, or because you're afraid. You're my best friend. If that's all I could be, I'd understand."
"You're my best friend, too Greg. And I can't imagine wanting to spend my life with anyone else."
"Okay," he said. "Okay." He smiled at her, but he was secretly afraid in the back of his mind that she was staying for all the wrong reasons.
********WDYG?********
When Ned and Elly pulled up outside of the Gibbs' house with their overnight bags they both turned to each other with a smile.
"It's like coming home," Ned said.
"It kinda is. We should take a peek at some realtor sites and get a feel for what we want," Elly said.
Ned nodded enthusiastically. "That sounds fun. Let's do that."
"Cool. Maybe tonight after we put Amira to bed?" he said.
"I'm down," Ned said, then leaned in for a quick kiss before getting out of the car.
They used the key that Tony had given them to let themselves into the house, announcing their presence right away as not to scare Sierra and Amira. They both grinned broadly as they heard Amira's squeal of "Boyfriends!" before she appeared in the entryway to be scooped up for the appropriate greeting.
"Princess Amira!" Ned announced in a goofy voice with some kinda of made up accent as he bowed graciously.
Elly scooped Amira up into his arms and hugged her, giving her kisses all over her face that made her giggle.
"Elly! You're silly!" she said through her laughter.
"I do believe that this is a well-established fact, Princess Amira," he said, passing Amira off to Ned for a hug as Sierra came around the corner.
"Hey guys," she greeted with a smile. "It's so good to see you."
Elly chuckled. "I bet! We really appreciate you taking on all this extra time this week."
"It's worth it," she said with a look at Amira. "Her dads deserve a great honeymoon, and her "boyfriends" were out making the world a safer place for her. I got to hang out with her at the pool all weekend. I definitely would rather be doing that than saving the world."
"Did you guys save the world?!" Amira asked in awe.
"Well, not exactly," Ned said, looking at Sierra.
"We did get a bunch of bad guys though," Elly said dramatically.
"A bunch of them?!" Amira asked excitedly.
"Yup," Ned said with a nod. "And we made a new friend, too! I really hope you meet her one day. She's super nice."
"It's a girl?"
"Yeah, and guess what her name is?" Elly asked.
"What?" Amira asked in wonder.
"Ellie."
"Nuh-uh!" she said in disbelief. "Really?"
Elly nodded. "Wow…" she said, then turned to look at Ned who nodded as well.
"That's just uncanny," Sierra said, crossing her arms as she leaned against the doorframe and looked at the guys.
"Yeah," Elly said with a nod.
"Her name is Ellie Bishop. She's about 5'2", she's super smart and she is just a total kickass chick," Ned explained to Sierra.
"How did you meet her?" she asked.
"She's NSA," Elly answered quickly, looking at Ned in a way that let him know that's all they were going to say and Ned nodded in agreement, but Sierra raised an eyebrow at both of them as she picked up on the "more" to the conversation.
"Wanna do puzzles with me?" Amira asked. "I'm working on a big one!"
"Sure!" Ned said.
"I'm going to make some coffee," Elly said. He and Sierra moved into the kitchen while Ned was led by the hand to the coffee table where a 150-piece puzzle was laying out.
"She was really tired when I picked her up from Tanzi's today, but you two walk in and she just perks right up like it's Christmas morning!" Sierra said to Elly.
"I really need the pick-me-up she gives today," he said quietly. "This case was nuts." He leaned on the island across from Sierra as his coffee brewed.
"You okay?" she asked just as quietly.
Elly looked at Ned and Amira and shrugged. "It's never easy taking a life," he whispered. Sierra's eyes got huge. "Especially one so young," he added.
"Damn Elly. I'm sorry," she whispered back.
He sighed. "Yeah, me too." He gave her something between a frown and a smile and nodded. The coffee pot clicked that let him know it was done percolating. He turned and poured him a cup, then added sugar and milk. "So! Topic change!" he said at normal voice.
"Definitely!" she said. She got in the fridge and got a Gatorade out and leaned next to Elly on the counter. He noticed that she had that look of someone who was trying to decide whether or not to say something.
"You okay?" Elly asked, his voice tinted with concern.
Sierra took a sharp sigh and tilted her head to the side as she thought about what she wanted to say. "I don't know. Have you-" She stopped and looked down at her phone. "Have you ever gotten that uneasy feeling in your stomach about someone, and you can't decide if you're can trust them or not?"
Elly blew on his coffee to cool it. "I think we all have at some point. Or maybe that's just a federal agent-cop thing. Either way, yes, yes I have. Are you feeling that with someone?"
Sierra felt her face turning red as she blushed. She bit her bottom lip and looked into the next room to see that Ned had Amira enthralled in the puzzle. Elly picked up that this might not be something to discuss around little ears and motioned for her to join him on the back deck. She picked up her phone and followed him out, her Gatorade in hand.
They sat down on the steps overlooking the backyard and the setting sun.
"Okay. Spill. What's going on?" Elly said gently, leaning over to bump her shoulder with his.
Another huge sigh, and then Sierra looked at him before looking back out at the sun. "I started talking to this guy online a few weeks ago. We really clicked, and he had me laughing constantly. I thought that it was just perfect. The pieces were falling into place. I'd found a great family to work for, was working on my degree, got a new apartment, and now this seemingly great guy drops into my life."
"You couldn't be winning harder if you tried! Except… it sounds like there may be a problem with Mr. Perfect?"
"See, that's just it. I can't tell if I'm imagining things, or if he's really… paranoid? Controlling? Demanding? I know his last girlfriend cheated on him and really screwed him over. I can understand him needing to learn how to trust again. I got that. But I'm not her. And at first, things were kinda cute. Like, we went out on a date and it was… magical. The kind of handholding on a beautiful sunset-lit walk kind of date, you know?"
Elly nodded, trying to follow her story.
"Then we went on another, and it was also great. He seemed really… enthralled with me. And it only made me even more into him. He's a great guy. Funny, charming, hot-"
"How hot? Because that's totally a factor in this," Elly said conspiratorially. Sierra held up a finger and got into her photo gallery on her phone. She showed him a picture the two had taken together on their walk, and Elly whistled. "Damn. Okay. Yeah, he's hot. Go on."
"I know, right!? So, I've scored this guy, and he's got a great job at the Social Security Administration helping old people who have had someone commit social security fraud in their names. He totally cares about them and works really hard to help them."
"I see the problem."
"You do?" Sierra asked, raising a skeptical eyebrow at Elly.
"Yep. He's too good to be true."
"EXACTLY."
"So, do you need for me to do a background on him or something?"
"Well, I don't know. That's not why it's not settling with me. See, we started doing this thing where whenever we got home from work we'd send each other goofy pictures. He'd take one with his cat where they're both wearing party hats. And I'd take one with a gigantic box of Frosted Flakes because he and I both love Frosted Flakes. But it became something he's now expecting.
"This week I've been so busy with Amira that I haven't been sending him the pictures until much later, and he's getting really weird about it. I should probably back up a little."
Elly nodded, trying to follow Sierra's whirlwind mind.
"Two Sundays ago I went out with Casey and Rebecca, some friends of mine from school, to close out the summer with a bang, and he started asking for photos of what we were doing.
"At first I gave him a selfie because I had dressed up and was feeling kinda hot, and you know how sometimes you just want to show off. He sent me back a pic with thumbs up and a big smile. So, I felt like he was rooting me on or something. But this is where things started getting… weird. An hour later he asked for a photo of me with all my group of friends. He claimed it was to see all of the hotties, but as soon as he realized Casey was a guy, he started asking questions about why I was going out when I had to work the next morning. And he tried to play it off, but he suddenly got really uncomfortable and eventually it dawned on me why he was asking all these questions. He thought I was going to sleep with Casey because he was simply present."
"That's not cool, Sierra," Elly said, making eye contact with her.
"I know. And I turned my phone off because I was there with my friends, and I wasn't in the mood to deal with his insecurities. I called him when I got home and told him that I am not going to suffer from the inquisition every time I'm out with my friends simply because his ex cheated and he's got trust issues out the ass."
"Good!"
"He apologized profusely for overreacting, and I was kind of surprised that he handled being called out so well. I took it as a sign of maturity that he was able to work through it. I mean, how many times have you heard of a guy getting like that and admitting he was wrong so easily?"
Elly scoffed. "Like never."
"Yeah. So, the next day I get back to the apartment from dropping Amira off, and he's sitting on my stoop with a smile and a bouquet of sunflowers, my favorite, and a bottle of wine. He said he wanted to apologize for being such a dick and thanked me for putting him in his place. We talked, and he was really… great. He told me that he wanted to see if things could become something real between us because he'd felt a great connection with me, and I admitted that I felt one with him too. Annnnnndd…. Thennnnn…"
Elly raised an eyebrow at her. "Crazy hot make up sex?"
"Ohhhhh yeah."
"Been there."
"I hadn't!"
"Really?!"
"Nope."
"How old are you again?"
"29."
"I turn 30 on Friday," Elly said thoughtfully.
"Really?"
"Yeah, that's why we're meeting up with Rise. But anyway. You're 29, and finally had awesome make up sex. And things have gotten creepy again?"
Elly noticed that Sierra had gotten very red in the face again. He snickered a little at her blushing.
"Okay. I'm just going to say it. Here goes. He was really demanding during sex, and I really responded to it, and now he's getting demanding all the time. I feel like I've uncaged a monster."
Elly's eyes widened, and though he kept his mouth shut his jaw dropped. He nodded. "Okay then. So, he's demanding, or are we talking full on BDSM kind of stuff here?"
Sierra threw her head back and groaned in embarrassment.
"BDSM it is!" Elly said with a chuckle. "Look, full disclosure here. I really enjoy that Ned is so domineering in the bedroom. Absolutely thrive off of it. But you know Ned- he's not like that in the day to day world. When we're alone, and things start turning sexual, this whole other Ned comes out. The only other time I've ever seen him with that kind of domineering confidence is in the satellite room at work when he's running huge tactical operations. If he was like that all the time he wouldn't be my Ned. He'd be someone else, and I don't think we'd be together."
"Whoa. That's a lot more than I ever needed to know about Ned!" She playfully shoved Elly who could feel himself going pink in the ears and ducked his head with laughter.
"My point is, it's one thing to like a dominant personality in the bedroom, but a totally different thing when you're talking about the day to day activities of your life. However, there are people who like that kind of control and dominance in their day to day. It's up to you to decide what's right for you. For what it's worth, and for what I know of you, you seem way too independent and strong-minded to enjoy that kind of lifestyle. I could be totally wrong though."
Sierra sighed. "I can't tell if he's just trying to tap into the sexual heat we had the other night, or if it's his real personality."
"I know it's awkward, but you know as well as I do that the best way to find out is to ask."
"How am I supposed to do that?! Oh, hey Quinton, I was just wondering, are you a control freak all the time, or is it only during sex and foreplay?"
"Pretty much. I mean, let him know that you really enjoyed the way he took charge the other night, but it has to translate in whatever way you decide you want it to translate to in the day to day world."
"I like that! I can let him know I'm into it, but not into it."
Her phone rang, and she looked down to find it was Quinton calling. "Speak of the devil."
"Oh! Answer it! I wanna say hi!" Elly said with a chuckle. "Need to see if he sounds as hot as he looks."
Sierra shoved him again as she answered. "Hey baby," she said, putting him on speaker so Elly could hear him.
"Hey Sexy," Quinton said with a sly voice that Elly didn't trust right away.
"Hi Quinton!" he shouted. There was a moment of silence on the other end of the phone while Sierra laughed and rebuked Elly.
"Leave him alone, Elly!" she said with a chuckle. "You ass!"
"Uh, hi there. Who are you again?" Quinton's voice had that tone that said the owner was barely containing their rage. Sierra looked upset suddenly, and Elly knew that he had to push.
"I'm Elly! I'm a friend of Sierra's, and a family friend of the little girl she watches. Another NCIS agent like her bosses. I've heard a lot about you!"
"That's funny, I haven't heard anything about you," Quinton said and Elly and Sierra exchanged expressions.
Elly reached over and whispered in Sierra's ear. "Do you want me to keep going? Really find out if he's pyscho?"
Sierra took a quick breath and nodded.
"Well, that doesn't really surprise me. You've only really known Sierra for a few weeks now. I'm sure you would've gotten to know me sooner or later. We've only known each other for a couple of months, and she tends to keep her friends in law enforcement a secret so she doesn't scare people off."
"I, uh, didn't realize she had friends in law enforcement."
"Yeah there's about, what Sierra? Eight of us? Oh, and then a kick ass forensic scientist and a couple of medical examiners."
"Oh. It's like a whole other life! That's… that's great."
Sierra rolled her eyes. "It's my work life. You and I haven't known each other long enough yet for me to pull you into my work life. That's not something I usually invite my boyfriends to be involved with since it deals with someone else's kid."
"If it's your work life, why are you hanging out after work with some random guy?" Quinton asked.
Sierra was about to explode at him when Elly jumped in. "Chill dude! She dropped off her charge to me and my boyfriend because we're watching her this evening. We've just been catching up. She was just telling me all about you."
"Oh, you're gay."
Elly quirked an eye at the phone. "No, I'm bi, but that's really none of your business."
"Of course it is! Some random guy I've never met is hanging out with my girlfriend. That is definitely my business!"
"Uh, your girlfriend of three weeks. And you've got quite a control issue there. That's not cool, man. Sierra is allowed to have whoever she wants as friends."
"I'm not worried about Sierra's actions. I'm worried about the actions of those around her." Sierra was so angry she could barely speak.
"You-! What?!"
Elly laughed. "Do you even known Sierra at all, man? I've only known her a couple of months and already I know that she isn't going to just roll over and spread her legs for anyone around her who wants her to!" He turned to Sierra and in his most condescending voice pushed the last button. "Damn! What do you see in this nutjob?"
"That's it!" Quinton yelled. "Sierra! You leave there right now! You obviously don't need to be around jerks like him!"
"EXCUSE ME?!" she shouted. "Jerks like him?! After you come apologizing to me the other night about doing this exact thing? He's not the control freak! You on the other hand have some serious issues, and you need therapy before you get into any relationship. I don't want to hear from you anymore. Get some help, and for god's sake don't date anyone until you realize that women are not emptyheaded sluts that need you to monitor their every move."
"You're breaking up with me over this guy?!" Quinton yelled back.
"Dude, I was intentionally pushing your buttons to see just how psycho you'd get," Elly said with an amazed shake of his head. "I've seen guys like you. You're controlling, you're paranoid and jealous, and when you let that paranoia get to your head you'll start getting physically abusive on top of the emotional abuse and verbal abuse you're on the precipice of with this call. Sierra's right- get some serious help, and soon."
"Lose my number Quinton," Sierra said before she hung up her phone. She stared at Elly and shook her head.
"I'm sorry," Elly said quietly. "Okay. No. I'm not. I'm not sorry. I'm sorry that Mr. Perfect wasn't Mr. Perfect though. But no. I'm not sorry I pushed him to reveal all that."
"No! I'm so glad you were here to do it! You totally just saved my ass. I feel like I need to put posters up of him around the city to warn other unsuspecting and more naïve women."
"Not to be an ass, but you kinda give off that vibe yourself."
Sierra sighed. "I know. I didn't date much in my twenties like most people do. My mom was sick and I was taking care of her. I wasn't oblivious though. I saw what my friends went through. And I tried to date, but at that age guys don't really understand what level of maturity it takes to deal with the amount of responsibilities I had." She looked up at Elly. "No offense."
"None taken. I still feel like a kid half of the time. Side effect I guess of being caught in a three year old's memory. Can I ask what your mom died of?"
"She had Parkinsons, but eventually died of pancreatic cancer."
Elly hissed with a grimace. "Damn. That's rough."
Sierra nodded. She thought for a moment as she stared out over the dusky sky and chewed her lip. "Dr. Mallard and I had a talk last week about what being a part of this family really means. He told me that if I don't set up walls now I'll be pulled in and become part of this… pack… thing you all have going on."
Elly chuckled. "Pack thing. I've heard us called a lot of things, but never a pack. We seem to get compared to mob families a lot though."
"I can see that," Sierra said with a sideways smile for Elly. "He told me to decide if that's what I want. I've been thinking about it. I can't lie- it's both tempting and terrifying."
"Oh yeah," Elly said, leaning back with his hands propping him behind him and his legs stretching to cross at the ankles. "One minute you're getting shot at, and the next you're holding the love of your life. It's a topsy turvy kinda thing. I can only tell you what it's been for me if you wanna know, take it or leave it." Sierra nodded for him to continue. "This team, this family, has been an absolute rollercoaster. It has built me up, settled me down, started me out on the adventure of the lifetime, and it's given me all I have. I have thriving, respected skills, a professional fast track, people to call friends, even more people to call family, the aforementioned love of my life, the ability to finally love an amazing stepmom, and for the first time since my mom was murdered when I was three, it's given me peace. So yeah- it's a fucking rollercoaster, but it's a rollercoaster that I never want to get off it."
Sierra exhaled a shaky breath. Elly reached up his hand to put on her shoulder. "You okay?" he asked quietly.
She nodded and reached up to wipe a tear off her cheek before she looked at Elly. "I just could really use some peace, and people to call my own again. A home."
"You couldn't ask for a better one than this one," Elly reassured her. She reached up and put her hand over Elly's and squeezed it.
"Thanks for everything tonight."
"That's what a brother is for," he said with a smirk.
The back door opened out onto the deck casting a glow from the kitchen now that it had gotten dark.
"Amira wants to say goodnight to everyone," Ned called. The two of them got up and headed inside to say goodnight.
"You want to crash here tonight in case douchebag tries to come by?" Elly said softly as they approached the door.
"That would be great. Then I can just take Amira with me in the morning, and you guys can go to work straight from here, and we don't have to do the whole switcharoo thing."
"Douchebag?" Ned asked quietly.
"We'll explain after Amira goes to bed." Ned nodded his understanding.
The three of them followed Amira upstairs to her bedroom in an odd parade. Amira ran up to her bed and jumped up into it, pushing and pulling stuffed animals into just the right place that she could snuggle between them. Ned sat on the edge of her bed and moved to cover Amira with her fleece blanket. It was a nice light summer weight, and it was covered in blue, purple and pink dots and stripes in random patterns.
"You ready to call Gibbsy and Tony?" Elly asked, flipping open the tablet.
"They're too busy," Amira said with a pout. Everyone in the room exchanged surprised looks. They'd all noticed that Amira had been a little down that day, but they assumed she was just missing her dads.
"They are never too busy to talk to you," Ned said. "I don't think there is a single thing in the world that they would stop doing to talk to you if you wanted to talk."
Elly nodded an affirming nod and sat next to Amira, putting an arm around her. "Why are you saying that?"
Amira just pouted and looked down at Dirt. She looked angry and sad at the same time.
Sierra sat on the floor next to the bed so she could lean on the mattress and look up into Amira's eyes. The little girl stubbornly looked away. "Did something happen at Tanzi's today?" she asked gently, reaching up to push a loose curl behind Amira's ear. Amira buried her face in Dirt and turned towards the wall.
The three adults exchanged another look at the obvious sore nerve Sierra had just hit. "It's okay to talk about it." Elly rubbed her small back.
"They went away," Amira said with both anger and despair in her voice.
"They just went on vacation, Munchkin," Ned said, resting his hand on Amira's foot to get her attention. "They're coming back."
Sierra looked at Ned and then Amira, biting her lower lip as she thought about what to say next. "Did Tanzi say she was going on vacation today?" Amira turned to stare at Sierra with angry eyes and shook her head no. "Then what has you scared that they're not coming back? You've been fine all week, so something had to of happened today that has you worried." Sierra kept her voice calm and gentle despite the way Amira was looking at her, which quite honestly unnerved her. She'd never seen Amira angry like this.
The tablet started making a series of beeping noises that indicated Tony and Jethro were calling on Skype. Elly grabbed the tablet and answered. He didn't know what else to do.
"Hi… everyone?" Tony said as he saw the group of them around a very distraught looking Amira. "What's going on?"
"Not really sure," Sierra said. "We went to tuck Amira in, and were going to call you when she started saying you guys went away." She gave the camera a worried look.
Jethro's face got closer to the screen. "Hey! Munchkin! What's going on?" His voice was worried and full of care. "You know we'll be home on Sunday. We miss you a lot." Amira glared up at the camera, still partially nuzzling her bear. Tony and Jethro shared a look and a raised eyebrow.
"Sierra?" Tony asked. "Can you take us across the hall for a minute?"
"Sure." She got up from the floor and kissed Amira on top of the head. "We'll be right back! I promise." She picked up the tablet and went into the guest room. "Something happened today while she was at Tanzi's. I don't know what, but when I asked her what was wrong and if something had happened there she showed a serious tell."
"The only time I have ever seen a look like that on her face was when I grounded her for running in the house," Tony said. "I didn't think I could ever feel so bad again, but this tops it. Have you called Miram to see what happened?"
"Not yet. I dropped her off happy as a lark, met with my advisor, came back and she was worn out. Fell asleep in the car on the way back to the house to meet the guys. And she and Ned have been playing for the past couple of hours while Elly and I caught up. No idea what's going on."
"What did she say to you?" Jethro asked, though not with any blame to his voice.
"We asked if she was ready to call you two, and she got really quiet and huffy and said that you were too busy for her. We rejected that, and after the silent treatment to some questions she finally just said really quiet and kinda creepily that you "went away"."
"Okay!" Tony said, a little panic in his voice. "I'm calling Miram. We'll figure it out. Hang tight and we'll call you back."
A hand reached for the screen, and it went blank. Sierra decided not to head back to the bedroom without the guys on Skype. She was worried that would deepen Amira's issues. So, she sat on the bed and waited thinking about the evening and how weird it had turned out.
Tony meanwhile was dialing Miram on Skype to place a voice call. Jethro was talking him through the situation so he didn't freak out on the woman. "She probably has no idea what's going on either. Amira probably took something out of context or had a fight with Tanzi or something. Just remember to keep the blame out of your voice until we know what happened."
"Hello?"
"Miram? It's Tony."
"Hi Tony! Are you back from Italy?" she asked in confusion.
"No. We just tried to call Amira and she's mad at us. Sierra said her mood took a turn after she came home from your place today. We were just wondering if she had a fight with Tanzi or something."
"No? No fights. It was just the opposite. Tanzi was having a hard day and Amira was the sweetest remedy."
"Miram, it's Jethro. Why was Tanzi having a hard day?"
"Her cousins had come to the United States two months ago and have been going through our program at the church. They were finally moved last night when they had the opportunity. We didn't get to say goodbye. I won't be able to contact them for a few months. I know they will be safe, but Tanzi was quite broken up about it."
Tony and Jethro exchanged looks of realization. "That's it," Tony said. "Amira saw Tanzi's cousins leave, and how sad Tanzi was, and now she's worried we're just going to leave and not come back, too."
"Oh, no! I am sorry. I did not think of that." Miram was as upset as the two of them.
"It's not your fault Miram," Jethro said.
"Yeah, it's nobody's fault," Tony added. "She's going to have to learn to trust us and believe that we're not going away."
"I did not know she was having problems with that," Miram said. "With Leyla…" Her voice broke and they could all hear her swallow.
"Yeah," Jethro said with a sigh.
"Would you like for me to talk to her? Tanzi's cousins will be somewhere safe enough to call in three months and at six months we can visit them. In two years, once they have become citizens, they will be free to go wherever they like. Maybe knowing these things will help."
"I think that would be good to know, but not at the moment. I think we need to call her back now. Thanks for the insight, Miram." Jethro kept his voice gentle.
"Very well. I hope she feels better."
"Thanks," Tony said, ending the call. He connected to Sierra again as he looked at Jethro and shook his head. "I'm dying to hold her! I want to be able to teleport to her, hug her, and then come back here."
"She's got to get used to us leaving and coming back. Work is going to have us do that pretty often. She needs to know we're always going to come back." The link was finally made and Sierra came up on the screen.
"What's up?" she asked quietly.
"We found out that Tanzi's cousins were relocated last night as part of a refugee program, and they didn't get to say goodbye to Tanzi. Tanzi was upset, Amira tried to make her feel better, but now…"
Sierra closed her eyes as she understood what was going on. "Okay. Taking you back to Amira." She got up and headed across the hall. Amira was tucked into Elly's arm looking rebellious. Sierra handed Elly the tablet and sat back down on the floor.
"Munchkin," Jethro said softly. "Munchkin, look at me." Amira shook her head no and buried her head against Elly's chest.
"Amira," Tony said. "We heard about Tanzi's cousins leaving." Amira turned over sharply and buried herself under the blankets. Elly and Ned exchanged looks as they realized the connection between the visit with Tanzi and her dads being gone.
"Munchkin, we'll be home in a few days. We love you so much, and we're never going to leave you for more than a week or two at a time. And we promise that whenever we do have to leave, you'll always be safe and sound with our family. You're safe, we're safe, and we're coming home."
Amira sat up and looked at him. She reached for the tablet. "You're coming home?"
"On Sunday," Jethro said.
"No! Right now!" Amira screamed, tears starting to come sluicing down her cheeks.
Tony reached for Jethro's hand, squeezing it within an inch of his life as he tried to stay strong. "We'll be home on Sunday. You're going to have so much fun over the next few days that you won't even remember we're gone. You'll be fine until we get back."
"NO!" she screamed and then started to throw the tablet. Ned reached out and snagged it from her right as it was about to leave her hand. "RIGHT NOW! RIGHT NOOOOOOOOOWWWWW!" She broke down in sobs and hid back under the blanket with her bear. Elly tried to rest a hand on her shoulder and she shook him off.
Sierra stood up. "Why don't we leave you alone for a little bit Amira. I'm going to stay here tonight. If you want me, I'll be on the couch." She motioned for Elly and Ned to come with her. Ned looked at Amira in a panic. He didn't want to leave her. Elly got up though and pulled Ned to his feet.
"If you need us Princess we'll be right across the hall or downstairs," Ned said, his voice distraught. The three took the tablet with them as they made their way to the living room, and all crammed on the couch as they set the tablet on the table so that Jethro and Tony could see them all and they could all see them.
"Do you really think it's a good idea to leave her alone right now?" Tony asked Sierra. "It's just, she's this upset because she's afraid she's going to be left alone."
Sierra nodded. "We need to establish and maintain healthy expectations of coming and going right now. If we were to stay with her we'd be reinforcing the outburst and negative behavior, and she'll use it to get attention again in the future. We don't want to reward or feed that kind of behavior. We're close by, and that's enough. She'll come to us when she's ready."
"Makes sense," Jethro said, rubbing his jaw from where he'd been grinding his teeth for the past few minutes. "Thanks for staying with her tonight. You didn't have to do that."
"Not a problem. Elly had already invited me to crash for another reason. Long story."
Tony raised an eyebrow as he looked at Jethro at that, but left it alone.
"Hope that's okay," Elly said, noticing the quirk.
"No problem at all," Tony said. "Everything okay?"
"Yeah, fine," Sierra blew off. "You're going to have your hands full when you get home. She's not going to let this go easily. Have you found her a therapist yet?"
Tony and Jethro shared a look. "We haven't really felt a need since she stopped having nightmares and sleeping with us."
Elly knew he should keep his opinions to himself, this wasn't his child after all, but he couldn't help it. "She lost her mother to a terrorist murderer at five years old. She needs a therapist."
Tony sighed and Jethro slouched. "We know," Tony said. "It's just… whenever we talk about Leyla things seem to go so well-" "Until that night," both he and Jethro said at the same time.
Jethro took over. "We'll be talking about some great memory, and Amira will be so happy and just brings the memory to life, and then that night she's crawling into bed with us because she's-"
"Scared, upset, sad…" Tony interrupted.
"Therapy will help her be able to talk about Leyla in a way that's healthy. It will let her cherish the memories, not be afraid of them. And there will be plenty of those nights where she's upset until she's making progress, and then those nights will be fewer between."
Ned opened his mouth without thinking. "And that will help you guys remember her in a good way, too."
Jethro looked away from the camera with another sigh and Tony reached up to squeeze his shoulder.
"If you don't show her healthy habits she can emulate, no one will." Elly's voice was kind, but his words were damning. "Even I've started going back to therapy."
"Really? Tony asked. "Other than Ducky?"
Elly nodded. "Yeah, I mean, my mom was murdered when I was three. I couldn't admit that I loved my stepmom until two months ago even though she's amazing, my father recently disowned me because I got engaged to a man that happens to be a coworker, I'm working to build a relationship with my brother, and now I have a much too strong bond with my work family which could be killed at any moment in the line of duty. You're damn right I started going back to therapy."
"Well, good for you!" Sierra said with a smile and a shove on the knee.
"Thanks," Elly said with a smile.
"I have to insist that this becomes a priority," said Sierra as she struggled to pull her confidence together. "Otherwise you two aren't the only ones who will have their hands full."
Both men nodded. "We'll make it a priority," Tony said.
"We were going to look into vacation ideas tonight for someplace we could take her so that she gets a special vacation, too," Jethro said.
"That could be good," Sierra said. "She'll understand what a vacation is better, and that you always have to come home from them. Could reinforce that."
"Does this mean you guys are going to leave for another week?" Ned asked, trying not to sound as pathetic as he felt at the idea of Tony and Gibbs being so far away again for so long.
"Probably not until Amira has her fall break," Tony said reassuringly. He saw the looks on both Elly and Ned's faces and tried not to smile. It felt good to be needed and wanted by his team, but it also had him worried that they were alone right then.
"I'm sure you can handle it," Jethro said with a smirk, having also read the expressions.
"Just because we can doesn't mean we want to," Elly muttered, trying not to cross his arms and pout like he had that morning.
"So where are you thinking about taking her?" Sierra asked.
"Disney," Tony said with a smile.
Ned's face lit up. "I wanna go!"
"Yeah, Boss! Can we do a team field trip?!" Elly asked excitedly.
"You guys have a wedding to plan and a honeymoon to go on!" Tony said with a chuckle.
"Yeah, but…" Elly said, losing that fight with his pout.
"It could be like our wedding present!" Ned damn near whined.
"I don't think Vance could handle all of us being gone for the week," Jethro said, trying to insert some sensibility into the conversation.
"Do you guys have a honeymoon picked out yet?" Sierra asked them, turning towards the two men on her left.
"We've tossed around some ideas, but we haven't decided. We're thinking we may need to push it out if we decide to get a house," Elly said from the end of the couch, leaning forward to look past Ned to Sierra.
"A house?" Tony asked.
Both men nodded with smiles.
"We were going to start looking online tonight to see what we want in a place," Ned said excitedly, turning to look at Elly with that sparkle in his eyes that gave away just how much he loved him.
"That's a big responsibility," Jethro said. "Are you up for that?"
Both men nodded confidently. "Yeah," Elly said with a smile. "We're kinda at the point where we're like, go big or go home."
Ned chuckled and shook his head. "It's not really like that, Boss. Don't let him scare you. We just really like the idea of having a home to home to, you know, like you two have."
Jethro and Tony smiled at each other. "Well," Jethro started. "If we're going to be an influence on you, I'm glad it's a good one."
"Yeah," Tony said with a chuckle. "There are so many bad habits you could be picking up from us, if making a home is how you emulate us, I say we're not doing too bad."
Sierra smiled and shook her head. "You two…" she said softly. Tony and Jethro looked back at her endearingly.
They all got quiet for a few moments, and then Tony sighed. "I guess she's not coming down, huh?" he asked.
Sierra shook her head. "She's probably going to want to talk to you sometime tomorrow morning though."
"I don't care what time, wake us," Tony said, eyes wide and sad.
"Any time," Jethro reiterated.
"We will," Sierra reassured.
"Well Boss," Elly said. "You guys go do your thing. We're going to go look at houses online and get some ideas. Maybe tomorrow we can exchange pictures- our house hunting ideas with your Mount Vesuvius pics."
"I forgot all about the pictures!" Tony said with a frown.
"It's okay, Boss," Ned said. "Amira should be able to look at them too when she calms down."
"Okay," Tony agreed. "Goodnight everyone."
"Goodnight, guys," Sierra said, reaching for the tablet to turn it off. She laid back on the couch and sighed heavily. "What a shitty night!" she exclaimed under her breath, then turned to the guys. "Present company excepted, of course."
"No offense taken," Elly said as he slouched back into the couch, too."
"So, what's up with this douchebag?" Ned asked her, raising an eyebrow. "Whose ass do we need to go kick?"
Sierra laughed and looked up a Ned's serious expression. She felt something click inside, and she knew the answer to the question Ducky had posed. She was going all in.