Blood and Pain

(Day 3: Tuesday Evening)

"Today was pretty entertaining, huh," Jay comments as he tosses a Gatorade to Carlos.

He catches it and laughs, "Yeah. That whole thing was absolutely epic, but that song that Ben sang… Do you think people will figure out that Mal spelled him? I mean, with his whole 'I think about you every moment of every day' thing, when he only met her this week."

Jay laughs as he sits down at the circular table, "You worry too much."

"I just like to think," Carlos defends.

"So, you like to worry," he rewords.

"Should I be worried?" Carlos asks as he sits down. "Do you think they'll figure it out?"

"No. Everyone at the game seemed pretty into it, and even if they do, who cares?" He takes a sip of his red drink, "We only need this to last a few more days."

"I suppose," Carlos mumbles as he opens his yellow one, but when he takes a drink another thought occurs to him. "Do you think he meant it? Do you think he would give Mal his kingdom for one kiss?"

"Probably," Jay smiles. "He is spelled after all, but it doesn't matter. It's not exactly his kingdom yet."

"Right." Carlos replies, before a pair of furry paws jumps onto his legs, accompanied by a couple barks for attention. "Hey there, boy." The dog places his front paws back onto the floor and scurries over to the food bowl. "Are you hungry?" Dude barks in response. "Okay. I think I've got a bag of food for you by the bed."

Carlos stands, but then Jay comments, "It looks like he's out of water too. How about you take care of that, and I'll get him the food?"

"Yeah. Okay."

Jay stands, "Remind me. How did you get Ben's dog again?" and walks over to Carlos's bed to search for the bag of dogfood.

Carlos shrugs, "I guess he thought I'd be able to give it more attention. Either that or he just thinks some time around a dog will make me like them more. Or, maybe it's just that since Ben's dog is technically the so-called 'campus mutt' that he's supposed to stay on campus." He finds the water jug and begins to fill up the water bowl, "Now that you bring it up, I really don't know. It just kind of happened."

"And these cigarettes," Jay accuses through his shock, "did they just happen too?"

Carlos turns to see Jay looking at the pile of items on his bedside table, and as he does some water spills from the jug and onto the carpet. "Damn it."

Jay turns to him, a blue bag of dogfood in his hand, "Now. I know you didn't take up smoking after all of the complaining you've done about it."

"No. I didn't take up smoking," Carlos irritably reassures, before he finds some paper towels and goes onto his knees to dry the carpet. "I found some guys from tourney smoking in the bathroom. I convinced them it was bad for them and that they should stop."

Jay walks towards him and sets the dogfood onto the table, "That still doesn't explain how you got ahold of it."

Carlos rolls his eyes, "I said I'd throw it away for them. Okay?"

"Then why isn't it, yet?"

He grits his teeth, "Do I have to explain every little thing to you? I just didn't get around to it. In case you haven't noticed, we've all had a pretty busy day."

Jay nods and remarks, "Okay." before he walks back over to the items. "I'll just throw them away for you, then."

"No. Don't," Carlos calls as he runs over to prevent Jay from touching them.

Jay's eyes pierce at him, "Why?"

"I—" He looks away from him for a moment, "I think I want to keep them."

"Why?" Jay repeats, this time more forcefully.

Carlos looks around at any place but him, until he can muster up enough courage to say it, "They remind me of my mother."

"Yeah," he nearly shouts. "That's exactly why you shouldn't keep them."

"But I want to," he insists.

"But why?" Jay questions in frustration. "I wouldn't want to keep that knife my father threw at me, so why in the world would you want to keep these?" He gestures to them, and Carlos's eyes follow.

"It's not the same." He looks back at him, "That knife nearly killed you."

Jay looks at him in disbelief, "You think that argument is really going to work on me? It's completely the same, and you know it. How hurt I almost got doesn't matter. It's having a reminder of those memories that matters, and you have way more painful memories than I do." He points at the pack of cigarettes and yells, "They are a reminder of all the pain she caused you, so why would you want to keep them?"

"Because I want to remember," Carlos shouts back, and immediately after he had said it he bites his lip hard in regret.

Jay's mouth gapes open, "You want to remember?"

Carlos sits down on his bed, "I just miss her. Okay?" before he scratches at the back of neck anxiously. When his nails pull the edge of the scab open he finds himself calm down, as he releases a breath of relief, "That's all this is."

Jay shuts his eyes, "How can you miss someone you've been absolutely terrified of?"

Carlos calmly responds, "Absolutely and terrified are very strong words."

"But they're accurate, aren't they?"

Carlos looks down and notices the blood beneath his nails, "She's my family. I think I have a right to miss her." He looks back up at him, "Don't tell me you don't miss yours— even just a little bit."

"At least my father cares about me half the time," Jay argues. "Your mother doesn't even pay attention to you."

Carlos stands from the bed, "That's a lie!"

"Telling you to do your chores and punishing you if you don't doesn't count."

The small dog interrupts with several barks, and Carlos glances between him and Jay, "Are we going to argue all night, or are we going to feed Dude?"

Jay shakes his head in frustration and then sees the clock, "You feed the dog. I'm going down to dinner."

Carlos watches Jay leave, slamming the door behind him, before he shakes his own head and attempts a calming breath. The brown dog continues to stare up at him, so he finds the bowl, places some hard food into it, and then sets both bowls down within the dog's reach. The dog begins to eat, and Carlos takes a look at his nails again before placing them back onto his neck. He scratches at the scab on his way into the bathroom, and by the time it's peeled off he's able to wash it off along with the blood into the sink; however, he feels his shirt stick to his neck and reaches for it again. He wipes the area with his fingers, and when he looks at them the tips are covered in blood.

The dog barks, and Carlos lets out a breath when he sees him at the door, "I thought you were supposed to be eating." The dog barks again, and Carlos shakes his head. "Go." He doesn't move. "I said leave," Carlos yells as he points for him to go, but when he sees the blood on his hand again he brings it closer to observe it. It had dried fairly quickly, but it's still sticky. Even if he were to wash his hands there's no guarantee the stain will no longer appear on it afterwards. I'll have to take a shower, a hot one. The dog barks again, and Carlos tiredly shuts the door on him. He takes a squirt of the liquid soap and washes his hands under burning hot water, but after keeping his hands under for as long as he can handle his fair skin is still tainted from the stain. He lets out a shuddering breath from the pain, before he looks at himself in the mirror and whispers, "What's wrong with me?"

He hears a knock and opens the bathroom door, before he trudges over to the dorm's door and opens it to reveal Aziz and William. "What are you doing here?"

Aziz explains, "We heard yelling. Is everything alright?"

Carlos shakes his head, "Yeah. Everything's fine."

"Are you sure?" William interjects. "Because we just saw Jay, and he didn't seem very happy."

He looks blankly at them, "We just had a fight. Okay?"

"What kind of fight?" asks Aziz.

"Just a fight," Carlos answers in frustration as he anxiously rubs the back of his neck. "But I promise you, everything's fine."

"You're sure about that?" Aziz questions with worry.

Carlos shakes his head again and lets his hand drop, "Yeah. I'm sure."

"Is that blood?" William notices, and Carlos stupidly positions his hand for both him and them to see it clearly.

He bites down on his lip, which by now he can taste the blood from, as they stare at him for an explanation. He shuts his eyes to avoid their fearful expressions, before he shakes his head once again and drops the conversation, "I've got to take a shower. I'll see you later." He shuts the door on them before either of them can stop him, and he struts over to where the cigarette packages and lighters lay. He opens the drawer to his bedside table and puts the items in it. Sure it would be nicer to see them, but at least this way no one would see them or question him about it all again.

He sits down on his bed for a moment in an attempt to relax, but soon enough Dude barks at him again and Carlos finds himself escaping to the bathroom and locking the door. He turns the shower's hot water on, removes his clothing, and prepares for the stinging pain. There may be a knock at the door again, but he ignores it as he steps into the steaming shower.