A Bad Evening

(Day 3: Tuesday Evening)

"So. That date with Ben," Evie begins.

"Should we really be talking about this," Mal inserts, "what with you… you know."

She smiles, "I was just going to say that it didn't look like it went well."

"No. It did," Mal retorts before taking a drink of milk. "Almost drowning and becoming an icicle was just part of the fun."

She takes a sip of water, "I can't tell if you're being sarcastic or serious."

"Both, I guess," Mal answers, looking down at her tray for a second as she does so. "You know, and there was this moment when he was touching my hair and I could just feel the heat resonating off of him. It's like he's literally the hottest person I've ever met, and in that moment I just wanted to take it all from him." She laughs, "Well, maybe not all, but still. I wanted to."

"Then why didn't you?" Evie asks.

Mal shrugs, "I didn't want him to see me as weird or desperate, depending on how he interpreted it." She lets out a stressed breath, "But it took all of my will not to do it."

Evie laughs, "He really must be something." but then her expression falters.

"What is it?"

She shakes her head, "No. You told me if it went wrong, then to not come running to complain to you."

Mal offers an even look, "I don't see you running anywhere. Come on. Tell me."

"Well," Evie explains as Mal takes a bite out of the hamburger, "you were right. Chad was just being manipulative. Probably just wanted his homework done." Mal makes an acknowledging noise. "He ended up telling the Chem teacher about how I had been using my magic mirror in class. If it weren't for Doug, then I could be failing or expelled for all I know."

Mal holds up a finger and swallows before speaking, "If Chad was using you for homework, then why would he tell a teacher about your mirror?"

Evie shrugs, "Maybe the teacher found out he was cheating and offered him some kind of deal? I don't know. He may have been manipulative, but he's still not very bright. Maybe he just didn't think it all through."

Mal nods, but it's not a moment later that Jay shows up and sits down, "Hey there."

"What?" Evie observes, "You're not getting in line?"

"You're not eating, are you?" he asks.

She raises an eyebrow, "Ah. No."

"I figured as much. I'll just take yours, then," he replies as he takes the tray from her.

"You seem super stressed," Evie notices. "What happened?"

He shakes his head, "It's nothing. Carlos and I just got into a fight."

"Oh. Is that why he's not with you?" Mal inquires.

Jay lets out an irritated breath, "He doesn't have to be with me every second of the day."

"No," Mal lets out in a long tone. "But he usually is. He even took that biology class with you instead of the technology one he was going to, just because he didn't want to be alone."

"It was an engineering class," he corrects.

"Whatever," Mal bypasses. "My point is that you two are seemingly inseparable, so what exactly could have been so bad to change that?"

"I don't want to talk about it," Jay irritably responds before digging into his pasta.

"Jay."

"What?" he nearly yells as he looks up at Aziz and William. He takes a deep breath, "Sorry. It's been a bad evening. What do you want?"

"We were wondering what your argument with Carlos was about," answers William.

"We heard yelling earlier," Aziz explains.

Jay shakes his head, "It's nothing. Apparently he caught some stupid teammates of ours smoking in the bathroom." The two of them look at each other. "They gave him some cigarettes to throw away, but now he wants to keep them. Something about missing his mother or some garbage like that." He looks up at them, "Why?"

"We went to check on him," replies the black haired guy. "He seemed really anxious, and he had blood on his hand."

"We're worried about him," continues William.

"Why?" asks Jay. "Was he hurt?"

"The blood had to come from somewhere," comments the blond.

Jay lets out a semi-relieved breath, "If there was no obvious sign of him being hurt, then there's no reason to worry. He was probably just picking at a scab. It's a nervous habit he has."

"Why?" Aziz questions.

"Why what?"

"Why does he do it?"

Jay looks down for a moment and shrugs, "I never asked. I figured it was normal, like when some people pull at their hair or tap their fingers."

"I've known people to get anxious," Aziz comments.

"And so have I," William continues, "but we've never seen anyone hurt themselves like that." He shakes his head, "It's not normal."

Jay glances at Evie and Mal, who both seem a little concerned now, before he explains it away to his teammates, "He doesn't hurt himself. He's just picking at scabs."

"When it comes to interfering with the healing process," Aziz slowly questions, "is there really a difference?"

Jay takes a moment to respond, "Everyone does it. It's normal."

"You don't understand," Aziz insists. "There was too much blood for it to be normal. For it to bleed that badly he'd not have to have just picked at what was already coming off, but he'd also have had to dig into what wasn't ready to come off." Jay stays quiet. "After we saw it he said he had to take a shower and slammed the door in our faces."

William looks at his friend before agreeing, "He reacted so poorly to us finding out. He must know it's wrong, or else he would have been as calm about it as you are."

"He's always nervous and worrying," Jay retorts. "Maybe he really did just need a shower. You can't assume there was something wrong just because he was a little anxious."

The two of the teammates exchange concerned looks, before Aziz comments, "You know him best. If you truly think it's nothing, then we have nothing to worry about."

Jay answers, "It is nothing. You have nothing to worry about." and then with a responding nod the two of them leave.

Evie asks, "Do you really believe it's nothing?"

Jay looks at them but finds himself unable to keep eye contact, "I just can't believe he'd hurt himself on purpose. It has to be nothing."

Mal sternly, yet worriedly, replies, "You can't take that chance. You have to find out for yourself if what they said is true."

Jay nods, "I'll check on him later."

Later that night Jay sneaks into the dorm and uses a small light from his chain to guide himself through the darkness. He walks over to Carlos's bed and sees him turned over, asleep. Carefully, he kneels down and lowers the back of Carlos's shirt to reveal his most recent burn, but he's surprised to find it even deeper than he remembers. Never mind interfering with the healing process. It looks like he didn't give it a chance to heal at all. He releases a sad breath, before places the light over Carlos's hands. The right one seems clean, and when he situates the left one so he can see it he finds that one to be clean as well. If there was blood on either of his hands before, there for sure isn't now.

Carlos moves his fingers along his hand, before he tiredly asks, "Jay?" and turns onto his back to see him.

"Hey," Jay answers as Carlos opens his eyes. "How are you?"

"That depends," he slowly answers. "Are you still mad at me?"

Jay tries to smile, "I was never mad at you. I was just confused. I didn't understand."

"But I told you," Carlos states. "I just miss her."

"And I told you that's the part I don't understand." Carlos stays quiet. "You don't need to explain. It probably won't do any good anyway."

"Jay," Carlos begins.

"I know you said it's because she's family, but it still doesn't make sense to me." He looks down for a second, "And, frankly, I'm not sure it will matter how much you try to explain it to me, so let's just try not to bring it up again."

"Okay," Carlos replies, but then he slides himself up so that his back is on the pillow. "I was just going to say that you look…" He bites at his bottom lip, "I don't know. Sad, I guess."

It takes a moment for Jay to speak, "Why do you do it?"

"Why do I do what?" he softly asks.

"Why do you pick at your scabs?" Jay asserts.

Carlos feels water intrude his eyes, and he bites his lip again, this time in hopes to keep the tears at bay. Jay's never even mentioned this to him before, and he really doesn't like the idea of it happening right here, right now. "Ah-um." He scratches nervously behind his ear, "It— it calms me down."

"How?" Jay questions. "Is it just the action of it? Is it just because it gives you something to do or focus on?"

Carlos looks down and away from him, his mouth slightly open as he thinks. The first thing he thinks of is the stimulation he had felt when he had begun to dig out that scab, and then his mind moves to the relaxing sensation he had felt when his mother had burned him. His anxious behavior of picking at scabs, he realizes the calming effect doesn't come from the action. It comes from the pain. The pain is what makes him feel better, but when he looks back up at Jay he knows there's no way he could possibly tell him that. "Yes. It gives me something to focus on. It gives me a distraction from what's going on. That's how it calms me."

"So, you've never had any intention of hurting yourself?"

Carlos forces himself to look at Jay as he blatantly states, "People who hurt themselves are weak. I'm not weak. I'd never purposely do something like that to myself."

Jay smiles, "That's really good to hear. We were all starting to worry a little about you."

Carlos slightly widens his eyes, "Who was worried?"

"Aziz and William from our team. They told us about how you were acting when they checked on you. They said they were sure you were hurting yourself on purpose and that you must have known, because you had shut the door on them, and then Mal insisted that I make sure it wasn't true."

"You should have known better." Carlos excuses, "These Auradon preppies never know what they're talking about."

"They have had it pretty easy here," Jay agrees. "They've probably never seen what real hurt or pain looks like. I should have known a little blood on your fingers or nails would have freaked them out like that."

Carlos pictures the event again, how he had opened his hand for them all to see and how the blood had managed to cover most of it. "Yeah. It would be just like an Auradon kid to freak out over nothing."

Jay squeezes his hand before letting it go, "You should go back to sleep. We still have class in the morning." Carlos doesn't speak, instead turning back around and pretending to sleep.

- That's it for day three.