Hey, hey hey!
I'm BACK!
I've been busy, I've got older - but I've missed you. I've tried to write this chapter about 12 times. I've changed the title about 50... I owe you a massive apology - but as the rest of this authors note says - I WON'T ABANDON ANYTHING.
Okay, so PLEASE don't hate me! Thank-you so so much for all the reviews and support from everyone! This is my favourite story and I will not abandon it. In fact, I want to finish every single one of my stories I've started. I PROMISE. Anyway, you probably don't want to hear my excuses about why I haven't updated… But its holidays now, so get ready for updates! I've learnt a lot this last year, had a lot of experiences I hadn't previously. . . So yeah (how vague can I be really?) Anyway, here is the next chapter – What If. As usual, its by Coldplay, off their X&Y Album. Also, I'd like to say that at the beginning of this story – in the early chapters, Professor Wildershins is mentioned.. and mentioned as a Woman… Thing is though, in my original plan its Mr not Mrs… haha, so will you bear with me on the gender change? Thanks once again for still reading and reviewing!
Love love love,
Pottyfan
X
Every step that you take
Could be your biggest mistake
It could bend or it could break
That's the risk that you take
What if you should decide
That you don't want me there in your life
That you don't want me there by your side
I.
"Rose? Rose?"
"Hmpf?" asked Rose looking up from her eggs and bacon.
"What's going on with you Rose?"
A frown appeared in her forehead as she scanned the Slytherin table briefly, to no avail.
"Why don't you just talk to him? I don't understand why you can't just-"
"Because, Al! Because he rejected me!"
Al stared at Rose, searching her eyes.
"But I'm sure he can't have meant it-"
"Al!" She said interrupting.
She shut her eyes, reliving the conversation.
She slammed down her fork and stood up swiftly, pausing momentarily as she walked away out of guilt, but continuing on her way.
II.
"You shouldn't have yelled at Al."
She stopped in her tracks.
She knew this – obviously. She had felt bad. But Al just didn't understand. She couldn't bring herself to tell him the whole story. She had just explained that she accidentally offended him.
She wished she had just offended him.
"I'm a bitch, I get it."
"No, Rose." Lily placed her arms on Roses shoulders.
"You just need to stop feeling sorry for yourself. You're turning into Malfoy."
Roses throat burned.
"Thanks, Lily. Got to go – Transfiguration."
He wasn't there.
Of course he wasn't. Professor Wildershins gave her a questioning look, which she ignored.
She knew it was because of him. She didn't even want to think of his name. She couldn't think of his name. The thing that seemed to astound her, was that before she knew him properly she had managed without him. Yet now, she found it so hard to exist without him.
And everything was different now. Everyone seemed to know aabout the two of them.
"Miss Weasley, may I speak to you after class?"
"Yes Professor."
He nodded and turned back to the board, making the chalk write up their homework.
She groaned, scrawling down the sixteen foot essay about Porcupines into pincushions.
The bell chimed. She stood up gathering her things, approaching her Professor at the front of the class.
"Yes, Professor?"
"I was just wondering, Miss Weasley, if you knew where Mr. Malfoy had got to? You seem to be good friends and I was wondering-"
"No I'm not sure."
"Oh-" He replied in surprise, "Oh well, if your sure then."
"Uh, can I – go now?" She asked twisting her foot awkwardly.
He nodded curtly.
Rose made her way out the door, stopping briefly to look at her Professor.
"I am worried about him though."
"Thank-you Miss Weasley."
III.
"Malfoy. I finally found you. You've been hiding in some little corner like a, a fucking pussy."
He pushed himself off the wall, taking a deep drag of his cigarette, he nodded.
"More… tell me more!" He raised his arms sarcastically.
"You are the biggest fuck up I have ever met, and I want you to stay the fuck away from Rose."
"See that's your problem Connor," He dropped his cigarette and stamped it into the ground, "You've never known how to use . . . well, fuck."
"Back off Malfoy, and stay away from her."
"Well here's the thing, here I am – staying away from her, and here you are, not being her friend."
"Well you've obviously fucked things up with her haven't you! You've done something big to upset her – and I won't stand for that kind of shit."
"Since when do you care?" Said Malfoy, taking a step forward.
"You think you're the only one who cares about her Malfoy? You think that you and your emotional piss and all that depression is really why she was hanging around with you?"
Malfoy's eyes narrowed.
"What's your angle here?"
"Did you ever wonder why she suddenly decided to hang out with you?"
Malfoy remained silent. Connor waited for a reaction, which didn't come.
"Just stay away from her, okay?"
"No, Jackson – you stay away."
"Only if she wants me to." Said Connor, winking as he backed away.
"Go fuck yourself."
"Don't have to – got people to do that for me."
IV.
"Rose! Rose!"
She rounded the corner; she didn't really want to talk to whoever it was.
"ROSIE! I know you can hear me!"
She rolled her eyes. She was headed for the library, if she made a run for it now, she might be able to get there without them catching up to her.
"Rose! BABE!"
She stopped dead in her tracks. There was only one person that called her that.
Connor caught up to her and gripped her arm "Rose! I'm worried about you-"
"-Excuse me?" She removed his arm and stared at him blankly.
"Well you aren't hanging out with Malfoy. Not even Al, so, maybe you can come back to hanging out with me, Dylan and everyone?"
"Seriously? You think – you think that after you tried to kill Malfoy the other day? You think that after you made my own cousin turn against me for weeks? You think that after you brainwashed everyone into thinking that Malfoy was the equivalent of Voldemort? -"
"Are you finished?"
"Where the hell have you even been Connor? I idolised you for years and I-I, I sort of almost, loved you – and you treated me like – like…" She took a deep breath and ignored the burning sting in her eyes, "Do you really think that I would suddenly run back into your arms?"
"Well yes – I knew that this Malfoy thing was just a way for you to get over me.. Or make me jealous – and, and it really worked."
"What is wrong with y-"
Connor smashed his lips against her.
& V.
"Al! Al!"
"Yeah – what is it Dylan? I'm going to be late for Care of Magical creatures…"
"This is more important, you need to find Malfoy on the map, and take him to Rose, she's really upset."
"How upset?"
"Its urgent Al! And she asked specifically for him!"
Al reached into his pocket and Dylan smiled.
"Lucky I've got it with me."
He tapped the map quickly and quietly.
"He's on that balcony again." He said mere moments after scanning the map.
He nodded at Dylan.
"And Rose is in the fourth floor hallway – well you can see her on the map."
Albus hurried through the tapestry pretending to be a wall, and up a flight of stairs. He turned left down the hallway, and pushed through the heavy door to the balcony.
He staggered out, clutching his side slightly.
"What do you want Potter?"
"Huh-here-" panted Al, thrusting the map at Malfoy.
"You need to do more exercise."
"Rose needs your huh-help! She's upset – or – something.."
Malfoy's eyes found her name on the map, next to 'Connor Jackson'.
Malfoy's eyes met Al's for a moment; he nodded, then bolted – still clutching the map as he ran. Three flights of stairs and a hallway before he came to a halting stop.
He couldn't breathe properly because of his running, his ears were ringing as he saw the last few people head off to class, their footsteps and voices resonated in his ears, but as he took a few steps forward he felt a pain deep in his chest.
"Weasley?" he hadn't even realised he had said it out loud until he saw her push him off.
He saw her look at him, stunned. Tears were slowly flowing down her cheeks.
"Malfoy?" she asked quietly.
"Are you serious?" he asked, hearing the anger rumble through his chest.
"Wha-this? No. No, NO Malfoy! Its not what it looks like!"
She looked desperately to Connor who was staring straight at Malfoy.
"Yeah," said Malfoy rubbing his chin, "yeah, exactly what does it look like?"
"It looks like…it looks like…" Tears started to flow more thickly and she struggled to breathe.
"It looks like I was right Malfoy," said Connor crossing his arms and pushing past her, heading down the hall and out of earshot.
Her eyes followed him as he left the scene, then she turned back to Malfoy.
"Please! Its not what you think – I didn't – he, HE kissed me! He kiss-"
"And you kissed him back." He said slowly, pronouncing every word clearly.
She looked like a helpless puppy who had made a mess and tried to cover it up. She was drowning in her problem, she was shaking, she was hopeless – and he was right.
She wanted to see something in his eyes, a shred of understanding…something.
"I-" escaped from her dry throat, she couldn't force anything else out despite how she was trying. Thoughts of blame, apologies, explanations, anything.
"It looks like you were right Rose Weasley."
She looked up at his big grey eyes and saw a flash of emotion finally. However she recognised it as betrayal.
Connor was the person who had made him like this, and she had just… she tried to show him with her eyes how sorry she was – she moved her mouth to say something, but she couldn't.
"You are a bitch after all."
With that last statement, and one final look of hurt that didn't match his voice, he left.
Her legs wobbled as she fell to the ground. People passed her by, also on their study periods, but nobody stopped.
The tears weren't stopping, she was confused more than anything… But Malfoy had come to talk to her, he had put himself out of his comfort zone, something she never thought he would do… and what did she do?
She had kissed Connor back.
It was that moment when she was falling apart and nobody had even noticed.
So Yeah, don't hate me once again - it has to get worse before it gets better :)
And please review, I would like to know what you think - I haven't written this for so long it was hard to get back in the swing of it!
xx
What if there was no lie
Nothing wrong, nothing right
What if there was no time
And no reason, or rhyme
What if you should decide
That you don't want me there by your side
That you don't want me there in your life
What if I got it wrong
And no poem or song
Could put right what I got wrong
Or make you feel I belong
Oh - Ooh ooh-ooh, that's right,
Let's take a breath, jump over the side.
Ooh ooh-ooh, that's right,
You know that darkness always turns into light.
Ooh-ooh, that's right