Hi ALL, here I am years later (I think 7 years?!) updating this! It is my favourite story still, and yes I am a bit rusty, but here goes - the Angst continues! PS no-one proofed this but me so forgive the grammar etc.

Love potty xx

Sunlight, opened up my eyes

To see for the first time

It opened them up

And tonight, rivers will run dry

But not for the first time

Rivers will run

You'll go backwards, but then

You'll go forwards, again

You'll go backwards, but then

You'll go

I.

She tried her best to act normal, though, in all honesty, she had forgotten what 'normal' was for her. Despite her best efforts to mimic Malfoy's loner life choices, she'd found that Al was spending a lot of time with her and she hadn't really had that much time to herself.

She was grateful, but couldn't help but wish it was him and not Al that was sitting beside her.

She was constantly scanning the room for Malfoy's tall frame and carefree presence. But she rarely saw him. Her heart skipped a beat each time she saw a glimpse of blonde hair, and yet it had never been him who she'd seen.

It had been three weeks since he saw Connor's forced kiss.

Why did she kiss back? She had questioned herself multiple times and realised that she was hurt by Malfoy too, and she wanted to be wanted, she was sad and angry at him, and surprised by Connor… She, of course, knew it had been wrong to do that and it made her feel awful. It had all happened so fast though, and it really had been led by Connor…

But did she owe Malfoy anything? Not really, he had been disgusted by any form of physical contact from her, so really she could kiss whoever she wanted. Not that she ever wanted to be near or physically connected to Connor Jackson again. She for knew that for Malfoy it wasn't the issue that she was kissing someone, it was the issue of who she was kissing.

Connor had hurt Scorpius and shaped him into the self-titled 'outcast' he was today. He'd bullied him and made his life hell, and frankly, Connor had never treated her well either. She felt manipulated by the whole situation, the more she thought about it the more it made her sick.

Connor had, thankfully, been avoiding her too.

Rose looked down at the notes she was supposed to be reading and spied a feather in the bottom right-hand corner, she had lent these notes to Malfoy, obviously.

She swallowed hard. She missed him. She was mad at him. She wanted to talk to him. This was ridiculous.

II.

He had successfully avoided Weasley thus far, unbeknownst to her he had seen the back of her head a fair bit, but he was stealth and she was certainly not. One of the few benefits of being an outcast, in his opinion, was that he was extremely good at being invisible.

He, however, had not been alone, Potter had sat with him the odd time, and it hadn't been terrible. Tolerable, he would've said to Weasley. Thinking about her made his face turn to stone.

The image of her pressed up against the biggest cock-head Connor, was burnt into his mind's eye, and so was the victorious look on Jackson's face as he made eye contact all the while tangling tongues with Weasley.

He tightened his fists till they went white, a habit he had inherited from his father.

He hadn't drawn in three weeks. He was sad, sadder then he should be, and he knew that.

He had also skipped every class he was supposed to have with her.

III.

She sat at the table shoveling breakfast into her mouth, only half listening to both Lily and Al prattle on about upcoming easter plans for next month. It wasn't till a letter landed exactly on her empty plate that Rose was brought into the present.

Rose Weasley was written in silvery grey cursive letters on a faded purple envelope. Rose tentatively pulled it off the table and held it close, slipping out of the Hall relatively unnoticed.

Gently she opened the envelope as she made her way outside, she tugged the paper out and read the message.

Hi Rose,

I'm sorry to bother you but, I know you are my only hope in this.

I'm very concerned about Scorpius, I haven't heard anything back from him in a few weeks.

It's not just his wellbeing right now that I'm worried about Rose, it's his future too, we know studying isn't his strongest skill, but we also know he isn't trying as hard as he could be. You are the only person he's been close to in the past 7 years, so I'm wondering if you could please help him? I'm sure you already are, and that this is an unnecessary letter, I just wanted to check in, and thought perhaps you could offer some insight?

Best Wishes,

Astoria, (and Draco of course)

Rose stood with her back against the rough bricks off the castle, feeling riddled with guilt. Why did everything have to be so complicated?

IV.

She sat down next to Al in her free period, he had as of late taken up spending more time in the Library. Rose expected that he too was realising that their time at Hogwarts was coming to an end and he needed to make some sort of effort to keep his options open.

'Rosie!'

Rose smiled and gestured to 'shhh', Albus still hadn't grasped the inside voices in the library rule.

'Sorry,' he whispered, 'how are you going? I lost you for a bit after breakfast!'

Rose ignored his question, 'Who currently has the map?'

'I lent it to Dylan.' Said Al, shrugging. 'Why?'

'I need to find Malfoy.'

Al grinned cheekily, 'Thank GOD for that, I don't think I could bear another day talking to either of you miserable sods without each other.'

'You've been talking to him?'

Albus nodded sheepishly.

'Well is he - ah - okay?' Rose tried to look nonchalant.

'Ask him yourself Rose…' Albus paused and looked at Rose properly. She had huge bags under her bloodshot eyes, she might have just cried, it was hard to tell. 'Look, I've got the map here.' Al confessed reaching into his pocket he pulled the familiar crumpled bit of paper out, sliding it over to her.

'He's not that hard to find though, always on the balcony - that's where he's been each time I've seen him.'

Rose frowned. Well, that backed up her theory 100% Malfoy had definitely been avoiding her.

Was it possible to be mad and sad but also feel guilty, and miss someone all at the same time? Rose unpacked her potions textbooks.

'Throwing yourself into books, as usual.' commented her cousin.

Rose didn't rise to Albus's comment and re-read the first line of her chapter three times before giving up and grabbing the map. Tapping it she said the infamous words and the ink began to dance beneath her wand, showing her the whereabouts of everyone at Hogwarts. Frowning she scanned the castle, looking for his ridiculous first-name.

'He's outside.' Said Al flatly, pointing near the lake.

Rose tried not to act surprised and nodded at Albus, pilling her books back into her satchel.

She had no idea what she would say to Malfoy once she finally pinned him down.

V.

It was finally starting to feel warmer, and he was quite enjoying the crisp spring air as he paced back and forth. The lake was crystal clear, and peaceful. No-one else was around, and that was how he liked it best.

Checking he was still alone he pulled a cigarette out of his pocket guilty, casting a quick spell he lit up, and breathed it in. He sighed as he exhaled.

'Nothing quite like the taste of tar in your lungs.'

He turned around defensively, though he knew exactly who it was. He rolled his eyes.

'You don't need to pretend to care about my health anymore.' Said Scorpius menacingly. He too had dark circles under his eyes, his hair was messier than usual, and he was out of his uniform, wearing entirely black under his robes.

'I've never pretended that.'

Scorpius nodded sarcastically and turned back to the lake, willing her to go away.

'I hated kissing Connor.' She called from behind him.

'It's none of my business who you pash, Weasley, or who you decide to fuck or fuck over.' He didn't need to turn around to know that this would have upset her.

She sniffed. 'I came here to call a truce, actually.' her voice was only slightly shaken. She stood next to him.

'Well, I haven't done anything wrong.'

She stuck her chin out. 'I beg to differ. You were a complete asshole in Hogsmeade actually, I still don't understand why-'

Malfoy's eyes flashed and he interrupted. 'What does a truce mean?'

'We go back to how we were before.'

'Before you were dared to come and hang out with me, or when we were tolerating each other?'

'Oh my God MALFOY!' Rose yelled at him.

He dropped his cigarette uncharacteristically.

'I was never dared to hang out with you, I've already told you this HUNDREDS OF TIMES. Secondly, I'm your friend, your only friend, except maybe my cousin; who is only your friend BECAUSE OF ME!'

She gestured so violently she stabbed herself in the chest. He was transfixed having never seen her angry. Her cheeks were red, her eyes were manic, and he had never seen her look more like… like a rose.

'So,' she breathed more calmly, 'Are you ready to be a fucking adult about this and admit that we are FRIENDS or are you just going to continue on this feel-sorry-for-me-I'm-a-lone-wolf path, cos I've had about enough of it!' She panted and he couldn't help but smile at her despite himself.

'You should yell and swear more often, Weasley, it's kind of sexy on you.' He drawled, reaching for another cigarette.

She gaped at him and slapped the cigarette out of his hand. She held out an extended pinky finger to him.

He looked at it and shrugged, linking his through hers.

Friends. They were friends again, thankfully.

Well that's an update :) I hope you like it and please please review - I'm definitely going to aim to update more now! I have a plan of where it's going and I'm excited! xx Potty.

Ps. Song is Coldplay, obviously, Twisted Logic.