Part VIII: Griefers

"I cannot believe this," Usopp complained, taking the rear. "Here I am, during the zombie apocalypse, walking down the hallway of a torture-murder hospital with a Japanese Chuck Norris, a dude ballerina, Brazilian Project Alice, and a freakin' talkin' corpse…"

"Which one am I?" Luffy whispered back.

Usopp licked his lips, "The ballerina."

"Duh," Clay added.

There was a sudden splashing sound and everyone turned, staring as the flesh of Brook's finger hit the floor. Clay and Usopp screamed, clutching each other tightly. Brook gasped, "Oh, I am so embarrassed."

"Is it okay? Ya know, to walk around like that?" Zoro asked, looking Brook up and down.

"Eh, he's fine," Luffy replied, "He said it doesn't hurt."

"Okayyy…" Zoro drawled, shaking his head. "Let's keep moving then. Quietly."

"So," Usopp began, immediately after they started walking again, "Any idea why you're, uh, still alive…?"

"Well," Brook sighed, "I'm not sure. I have my theories, but… well, it's all a bit much to take in at once…"

"I'll bet," Usopp muttered. They walked in silence for several hundred yards before Usopp spoke again, "You don't know anybody who does hoodoo work, do you?"

"No. You do?"

"Hoodoo?"

"Voodoo."

"No, hoodoo…"

Luffy laughed loudly, "I'm so lost right now. What doos? Who doos?"

"The only one I know is Scooby Doo," Clay replied.

"Enough!" Zoro groaned, turning around to freeze everyone with a disapproving glance. "We should be quiet and focus on what's ahead of us. We are not out of danger. Pay attention. Fuck!"

"Now," Zoro sighed, shaking his head in irritation, "How much further?"

"Just a little farther," Brook explained, gesturing with a skeletal finger. "Past radiation…"

The stench was noticeable down the considerably lengthy hallway. Zoro looked at Luffy and Luffy nodded. Luffy walked around Zoro and twisted the doorknob. The handle jiggled, it was locked. Luffy didn't bother with the lock; instead he ripped the handle off completely, yanking the hardware from the wood. The door bumped against his foot as it flew open, a wave of death hitting them in the face.

"It smells like-" Clay's words died as he began to retch in disgust.

Luffy and Zoro walked into the room. They looked from withered corpse to withered corpse. Luffy clicked his tongue in disappointment, "They're all dead."

Zoro looked around at the scattered papers and supplies. Several of the doctors had left messages to their families. It was a slow, agonizing death. They had fought for survival, and lost. Zoro shook his head, diverting his eyes, "They starved to death in here."

"God," Usopp breathed out, his hand pinching his nostrils closed, "What in the hell is going on? Why? Why are people doing this to people?"

"People have always done this to people," Luffy replied, something twinging in his belly, "But it was other people's problems. Out of sight, out of mind…"

"This is just so fucked," Usopp shouted, his voice strained. "So fucking fucked up."

"This can't be everyone," Luffy decided, "Come on. Keep looking."

"We should just get the fuck out of here," Clay argued, "I'm getting a worse feeling by the minute. This place isn't right. We haven't found anything yet that wasn't straight from a fucking nightmare…"

"But we need a doctor," Usopp whined, wriggling in place unhappily. "Right? Don't we?"

"I don't think we're gonna find one here," Clay debated, pursing his lips defiantly.

"Clay's right," Luffy ruled, chewing on his lip until it bled. "Ya'll go back. I'll keep looking."

Zoro scoffed, "You're not going off by yourself."

Luffy cut his eyes, watching Zoro from the corners, "Awww… Are you worried about me?"

Zoro shrugged, "Yeah, maybe I am." Zoro straightened up, seeming to expand in place, "Got a problem with that?"

Luffy laughed, "Hell. It's creepy in here. I don't like it. I'm ready to go." Luffy shivered. "But we came here. We can't leave emptyhanded."

"You… three…" Zoro said unsurely, "should go back to the others. We'll keep looking."

Usopp and Clay looked at Brook and laughed uncomfortably. Usopp made a face, "You think we should take him back with us? Or should he stay with you?"

"Brook should go with you," Luffy reasoned, "Maybe Robin can look him over… Do something for him…"

"She's not a seamstress," Usopp mumbled, shaking his head.

"Come on then," Zoro said, nodding to Luffy.

"Alright."

"Be careful," Clay called out.

Luffy smiled, "You too."

"There are more of you?" Brook asked, walking along with a reluctant Usopp and Clay.

"Yeah," Usopp sighed, waving to Zoro and Luffy as he backtracked down the hall.

"Where should we look first?" Luffy asked.

Zoro cracked his neck, "Everywhere."

They opened every door, every closet. They'd already acquired a small stockpile of supplies that they pushed along on a rolling cart. They had vials of medicine and not a single clue as to what it was for. But they collected whatever was usable diligently, assuming someone more knowledgeable would sort through it later.

"There might not be anyone alive here," Zoro realized, reaching the third floor landing.

"It's a big hospital," Luffy replied. "There's someone here." Luffy thought of the crazed men downstairs and couldn't help but shudder. "And when we find them, we'll make them help whether they want to or not."

"You don't think…"

"What?"

Zoro cleared his throat, "You don't think Brook's like you, do you?"

Luffy made a face, his lips pulled into a tight grimace, "He's something…"

"I mean, he's falling apart… His cheek slid off… just… just like nothing…" Zoro covered his face suddenly. "I tried not to say anything, but… Jesus…" Zoro shook his head to clear it. "I thought about resetting him but what if I'm wrong and just end up murdering him…"

"I don't think he's like me," Luffy answered. "But he's definitely had a reaction to the virus."

"Caesar always said the sample size was too small to really know anything," Zoro remembered. "Who knows what sort of thing they created."

"I just wanna find Law as quick as possible and get out of here," Luffy whispered, quickening his pace. "And I don't even know what 'here' is? How big is 'here'? How far do I have to go before I'm free? How far until I'm safe and no one's looking for me?" Luffy's words began to stumble over each other. "Do I have that luxury? Or should I just surrender and off myself. No one can use me then. My blood can't kill anyone else then…"

"Hey," Zoro snapped, grabbing Luffy's arm tightly. "Calm down."

"Zoro," Luffy breathed out, grabbing Zoro's other arm, "I died when I was five years old. What has the rest of this been?"

"Dead people don't talk," Zoro repeated, shaking his head.

"I was so scared before… When I had the implant. I didn't know who I was or what I was…" Luffy closed his eyes. "But now the implant's gone, I'm just as scared. What am I?"

"You're Luffy," Zoro said softly.

"What's Luffy? Who's Luffy?!" Luffy demanded, his volume raising.

"Luffy's good enough for me," Zoro replied, his hand suddenly warm against Luffy's cheek. "Luffy's the only thing I care about… Before the implant, after the implant…"

Luffy's cheek twitched, "That sounds…"

"How does it sound?" Zoro whispered, his body inching closer.

"Good," Luffy answered. "It sounds good."

Zoro's face was hot and pink, the color stretching to the tips of his ears. He shook his head and closed his eyes, his breath coming out in short bursts. "Good."

Luffy's belly and face were warm. He could feel Zoro's hot skin through their clothes. He could feel the larger man's breath and his heart beating through his chest. He could smell Zoro's masculine scent, inexplicably woodsy. He could feel the life pounding beneath his skin, his body alive and healthy and strong.

There was a loud squeak that seemed to shake the ceiling panels and then Usopp's voice came over the loudspeaker, "I found an intercom. Usopp King, US Army Sniper, checking in…"

"Oh, yeah," Luffy said, rubbing the back of his head, "I forgot about that already."

"Well, let's get moving," Zoro murmured, adjusting his clothing needlessly. "So we can get back."

"Yeah," Luffy agreed, pushing the cart of supplies down the hall.

They walked in relative silence as they cleared the third floor. "It's starting to smell better," Zoro realized. He made a face as he inhaled, "But I'm still getting this whiff…"

"Yeah, it's me," Luffy groaned, gesturing to the dried blood staining his clothes. "I slipped earlier."

"Fuck, that sucks," Zoro shook his head, "Change or something… You smell like shit…"

"It's smeared into my leg," Luffy complained.

"There're showers everywhere." Zoro pointed out. He bent over, searching through their supplies. "Change into these scrubs."

Luffy looked at the change of clothes and laughed in amusement, "I'm not stopping to take a shower. I'm just gonna get dirty again."

"That smell though, it's just…" Zoro bowed his head. "Pungent."

Luffy opened up the first hallway closet and grabbed a can of hospital grade air freshener. He sprayed himself liberally, squeezing the nozzle until his fingertip turned cold and red. He waved his hand in front of his face and spray some more, spraying until he'd emptied the entire canister, "Better?"

"Yeah," Zoro choked, fanning himself. "Now it smells like lemon soaked explosive colon."

"I think you meant cologne," Luffy teased, wiggling his brows.

Zoro refused, smiling softly, "Nah. I meant colon. Come on. If anyone's here they can probably smell you."

"Hey."

"What?"

Luffy watched Zoro carefully out of the corner of his eyes, "Did you ever think we'd be doing this?"

"No," Zoro admitted instantly. "I never expected anything like this to happen."

"Nah, I don't mean walking around the halls of the torture-murder hospital," Luffy clarified, "I meant, did you ever imagine this? Like you and me, just… I don't know…" Luffy laughed, shaking his head. "I don't know what I'm asking."

"You and me, outside of Deadhouse. Is that what you meant?" Zoro questioned.

Luffy shrugged, "Yeah. Maybe."

"When I was in Deadhouse, it didn't seem like I'd ever leave," Zoro explained. "I guess the world's Deadhouse now."

"I hope not," Luffy sighed, pushing the cart around a decaying corpse. "I just need one little place big enough for me and my friends." Luffy smiled at the thought, "And food. I need food."

"Ya see, what we need is a houseboat," Zoro theorized. "Then all we'd need was fresh water and citrus so we didn't get scurvy and we'd be all set…"

We. Zoro's choice of word did not go unnoticed. Luffy smiled even wider, throwing his arm around Zoro's shoulder, "I can't swim. Can we still have a houseboat?"

"Sure," Zoro decided, shrugging. He dipped out from under Luffy's arm and smiled apologetically, "Sorry, you fucking stink."

"Zor-ooooooooo," Luffy whined, chasing after Zoro with the cart. "Zoroooo, come back…"

Zoro jogged ahead, stopping at each room just long enough to open the door and peer inside. He danced out of Luffy's reach, "No! You're not getting that dead smell on me…" Zoro laughed at the absurdity, "You're like a dog that's rolled in something…"

Luffy groaned, letting out a defeated whine, "It's not that bad, is it?"

"Yes!" Zoro called back, rushing ahead. "It is!"

The fifth floor was something they both agreed they would never speak of again, for as long as they lived. The tragedy and horror of the fifth floor was not something either of them were capable to processing. And in their minds, as far as they were concerned, there was no longer any such thing as the fifth floor.

"There's an intercom," Luffy pointed out, finally remembering again. "We should probably let them know we're still alive."

"Yeah, okay."

Luffy stared at Zoro and Zoro stared at Luffy until Luffy finally moved to pick it up. He pushed the buttons unsurely, making a bird noise into the receiver until it broadcasted throughout the building's speakers. "CA CA CA CA BRA CA CA CAW!"

"Luffy!"

"Hello, and good evening, spooks and spookies, this is your MC DJ McDeadhouse, and tonight…"

Zoro took the phone from Luffy, shaking his head. He spoke into the receiver calmly, eyeing Luffy, "We're both fine. We've got more floors to cover. It might be a while."

"You could've told me you wanted to do it," Luffy murmured. "I would've let you."

"I didn't want to do it."

Luffy made a face, "Was there something wrong with me doing it?"

Zoro laughed softly, shaking his head in disbelief, "Luf, you're something else…"

"Like in a good way?"

Zoro nodded, "In a good way."

"So can I leave another mess-"

"No!" Zoro snapped, shoving Luffy from the room. "And don't mention Deadhouse over the intercom system again! Dumbass!"

The door to the room at the end of the floor slammed shut. Luffy and Zoro exchanged looks and started walking, leaving their cart behind. "It wasn't a draft," Luffy insisted, "Not with these big heavy melamine doors."

"Zombies don't really do doors," Zoro pointed out, feeling hopeful.

"But if someone's in there, why wouldn't they have used the intercom after they heard Usopp's announcement?" Luffy wondered.

Zoro shook his head, "Can't be too careful, I guess. Never know who to trust nowadays…"

"I guess," Luffy agreed.

They approached the door cautiously, staring at it with curiously pinched faces.

"Hello?" Luffy called out, knocking his hand against the door. "Hello? Is someone in there?"

"We don't mean you any harm," Zoro added, leaning close to the door to speak. "We need a doctor… or a nurse…"

"How many of you are there?"

"There's two of us here, but we have others downstairs."

"Downstairs where?"

"In the… Just downstairs…" Luffy stopped, shaking his head. "Are you a doctor or what?"

"I am a doctor," the man replied.

"Okay, so, um, will you come out?" Luffy questioned.

"Are you hurt?"

Luffy made a face and Zoro took over, "No. We're not hurt. Our friends are."

"Your friends downstairs?"

"Yeah."

"Sorry," the man breathed out, "Downstairs is too unsafe. They're behaving like wild animals down there…"

"Uh, when's the last time you saw anybody from downstairs?" Zoro asked.

"Three weeks? Maybe a month…"

"You've been alone for a month?!" Luffy demanded.

The man scoffed, "Of course not. I just haven't bothered with those lunatics…"

"So there's food here?" Luffy pressed.

"Yes, take the sixth floor skybridge over to building tower two and then go downstairs to the cafeteria. There's plenty of food there…"

"And supplies?"

"Sure. Should be."

"And doctors?"

The man hesitated, "Well, I can't be sure. Most everyone's gone now."

"You're a doctor though, right?" Luffy questioned again.

"Yes, I am a doctor."

"Like an OBGYN or an ENT doc or what?" Zoro pressed.

"Yeah," Luffy murmured, "Not like a zoologist with a PhD, right?"

"I'm a neurosurgeon," the man snapped.

Luffy sighed, looking to Zoro, "Is that useful?"

Zoro shrugged, "He'll think so."

"Alright, you're coming with us then," Luffy decided, turning the door knob. It wouldn't budge and he laughed in amusement. "Unlock the door. We need your help."

"I'm sorry," the man refused. "But I just can't risk it."

"Our friends need a doctor," Luffy argued. "You're a doctor."

"Try the cafeteria. See if someone there is willing to help you."

"Nope," Zoro barked. "We found a doctor. You'll do."

Luffy yanked the doorknob through the wood and tossed it onto the floor. The door squeaked open and Luffy smiled through the crack at the bewildered, middle-aged man. Luffy kicked the door open the rest of the way and waved, "Hey, ready to go?"

"I'm not going!" the man hissed, scrambling away from them, toward the blind-covered window. "You can't make me!"

"I don't wanna make you," Luffy admitted, scratching his stomach, "But I can make you."

"You don't understand! It's a miracle you made it this far! The infection doesn't just affect those who've been bitten… It's beginning to manifest in- Oh God! What the fuck is that smell?!" the man began to gag, covering his mouth with the collar of his shirt. "It smells like fucking sewage."

Luffy turned and looked at Zoro. Zoro raised his hands and smirked, "I'm not saying a word."

"Look," Luffy sighed in defeat. "If you come help us, I will escort you back here myself. No harm will come to you. In and out."

The man spoke through his shirt, his nose pinched shut, "Take off those god awful clothes and burn them… Then I'll go with you…"

"It got on me," Luffy explained, gesturing to his calf.

The doctor pointed to the door beside Zoro, "Shower! Shower! Now! Do it and I'll go and help your friends!"

Luffy looked at Zoro again. Zoro couldn't help it. He burst into laughter, kicking open the bathroom door, "Hurry up and do something about it. I fucking told you. I fucking told you, Luffy."

Luffy started to undress, shaking his head, "Fine. Go get me some clothes off the cart."

Still laughing, Zoro nodded, "Alright."

"Quit laughing at me!" Luffy groaned, throwing his shirt at Zoro's back.

Zoro turned, his eyes moving strangely over Luffy's exposed skin. Zoro looked away, "And use soap. It's not optional."

Luffy made a face, "Soap smells funny."

The doctor clicked his tongue, "Kid, your friend is right. Soap is not optional."

Zoro had just stepped out of the room when he realized their cart of supplies was gone. He turned, confused, thinking perhaps he'd disoriented himself. But the cart was nowhere to be found. Zoro cursed, checking the rooms closest to where they'd left it.

"Hey, Luffy," Zoro called out, walking fast back toward the room. "Where'd you leave the cart?"

There was a strange whirring sound as the power in the building shut off. Everything went black for several long seconds before the emergency generators started to click on. Luffy screamed loudly, panicked and terrified.

"It's okay!" Zoro shouted, rushing down the hall. "It's okay!"

The backup lights flickered nauseatingly, strobing wildly. Zoro closed his eyes, rushing into the dark room. The doctor's outline was illuminated, the white lights pulsing behind him. His form seemed to grow, stretching out in an inhuman way. "What did you do to him?"

"Nothing…"

And suddenly, naked and wet, soap running down his tan skin, Luffy was wrapped around him. Luffy held onto him tightly, his body trembling. He looked up at Zoro with wide frightened eyes, "What happened?"

Zoro pat Luffy on the back, reassuring and gentle, "The power went out. It's okay."

Luffy held onto Zoro until he got cold, the air causing his skin to prickle. He realized he was standing in the semi-darkness, naked in front of a stranger. Luffy groaned, straightening up. He crab-walked back to the bathroom and he poked his head out, "Think the water works?"

"Try and finish," Zoro said, standing in the doorway where he could keep an equal watch on the hallway and the doctor.

"Got the clothes?" Luffy called out, rinsing the soap from his hair.

Zoro closed his eyes guiltily as he answered, "Yeah."

He didn't know what he was going to do. He didn't know what he was going to tell Luffy. But he knew that he had another ten minutes before Luffy would realize something was wrong. And, selfishly, he decided to take those ten minutes.

The doctor laughed quietly, shaking his head. Zoro grimaced, "What're you laughing about?"

The doctor shrugged, scratching his wrist underneath his lab coat. He smiled at Zoro, the light still strobing behind him, "It's nothing."