Much Worse

(Day 15: Sunday Afternoon)

"Hey, Doug." She spins him around, "I've been looking for you."

"Oh. Hey, Mal."

"Do you know where Ben is?"

"Oh. Yeah," he remembers. "He went to his parents' this morning."

She nods, "Okay. Thanks."

Doug sees her walk past him, "Wait." before she turns back around. "He wasn't feeling well. You should give him and his parents some time alone. You can see Ben at the family dinner you guys have tonight."

Mal takes a step towards him, "What do you mean, he wasn't feeling well?"

He purses his lips and shakes his head, "He just wasn't feeling well."

Mal takes another step, widening her eyes and staring into his, "Tell me what you know."

"Chad made fun of him, and then he saw that article. I think the stress made him sick."

She smiles, "Thank you, Doug. You've been the most of help."

When she turns away again he says, "You should leave him alone. He shouldn't have any reminders of that article around him right now."

Mal glares at him in disbelief, "I'm a reminder?"

"Come on," Doug hopelessly comments. "Don't be like that. I know the article couldn't have been any easier on you, but I'm just looking out for him."

It takes a moment for Mal to respond, "Fine. I'll give him time or whatever." before she turns once again and heads down the hall.

"She should have been here by now," Ben worries.

His father gruffly replies, "She's from the Isle of the Lost and is also Maleficent's daughter."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

His father takes a calming breath before sternly explaining, "It means that I'm pretty sure she can take care of herself." Ben doesn't respond, only staring at the meal-filled table. "You don't have to worry. She'll be here." He looks across the room, "Speaking of which."

Ben turns around and smiles, as Mal walks in and sits down next to him. "Hey." She places a hand to his cheek, "I heard you were sick."

He grins, "No. I'm fine now."

She smiles, "Good to know." before going in for a kiss.

Ben's father pretends to cough, "This is still a family dinner."

"Yes." Mal shuts her eyes for a second and grins, "Sorry."

Belle smiles, "So. How was your day, Mal?"

She laughs in stress, "Well. You know. Not all that great." before distracting herself by pouring milk into her glass. "I've been called manipulative more than once for starters."

Adam chuckles, "Everyone can get to be a little manipulative. Especially teenagers and businessmen, I think." He lifts up his glass, "It's called persuasion." before taking a sip.

"Yeah," Mal unsurely agrees. "But it doesn't matter now… I think I scared them off."

"How?" Ben asks.

She shifts slightly, "It wasn't really on purpose. I just kind of, you know, glared at them."

"That's it?" he questions. "It doesn't sound very intimidating to me."

Mal laughs, "That's only because you haven't seen the worst of me." before she scoops up some stuffing and takes a couple slices of the ham. "When I get upset my eyes sort of change." She sees Ben's neutral expression paired with apparent interest. "I've been told that it can be a little freaky."

"What? You mean kind of like during the coronation when your eyes glowed?"

She looks back at her plate and uneasily responds, "Or exactly like that."

"I thought that was a magic thing," Belle comments.

"Ah, no," Mal uncomfortably laughs. "It's more of a genetic thing, really… My eyes don't even glow when I do spells."

"Well, if it's not a fairy thing, then what is it?" she inquires, but for some reason Mal can't help but feel it to be some kind of accusation.

Ben looks at his mom, "I know you love to learn about things, but maybe Mal should tell us some of this when she's ready to."

Belle nods, "Of course. Sorry, Mal. My curiosity can get the best of me."

"It's fine," Mal replies quietly, before she take a bite of the meat and it hits her. "Wow," she whispers. "This is really good."

"Have as much as you'd like," Adam offers. "There's more than enough to go around."

Mal stares at the large cut up ham. She's been so hungry for such a long time that she could probably eat the entire thing, but she won't. She shakes her head. I can't be greedy like my mother. She glances at Ben's family. And there's no way I'm letting them see me like that. She tries to smile, "I'm fine, but thank you."

"Are you sure?" Ben asks. "Because your stomach seems to be growling."

"It always does that," Mal bypasses. "It never seems to matter how much I eat. It always does that."

"Ah," Adam exclaims. "The appetite of a teenager. I remember it well. Boy, would I never want to go back there again."

"I'm sure the animals would thank you for that," Belle smiles.

"Animals?" Ben questions. "What? Were you hunting wolves or something?"

"It would have been deer or elk," Mal interrupts, and they look at her. "Wolves run in packs. You would have been injured."

Belle lightly laughs, "Well. She's not wrong."

"Indeed," Adam agrees, before he smiles at his wife. "If I remember correctly, you saved my life that day. Did I ever thank you for that?"

"No," Belle shakes her head. "I think you were a little too busy saying how much it hurt, growling at me, and blaming me for you getting hurt in the first place."

"Right," Adam slowly lets out, as he recalls it all. "I should apologize for that."

"Yes. You should," Belle smiles.

"I am so terribly sorry for that night and everything else that I had put you through during that rough time."

"I accept your apology."

Mal looks between the two of them, "That's it? You're going to accept his apology just like that?"

"We've been married for a long time," she calmly explains. "When it comes to love, apologizing for something that happened over a decade ago is only a formality. Although, it is still very nice to hear."

Mal looks down, "I don't know if could do that."

"Accepting an apology is an important part of moving on with your life."

"Maybe, be still." She looks up at her, "I'm not sure if I'd even want one. When you need an apology, it implies that you've been wronged or victimized. I couldn't do that."

"What else are you supposed to do?" Ben questions. "Just continue on with thinking it was your fault?"

"Yes," Mal looks at him, but she's unable to stand to see his shocked, sad expression. So, she stares back down at the plate and silver utensils. "It was my fault."

Ben shakes his head, "I thought Fairy Godmother took care of this."

Mal observes how the light beautifully shines off of the steak knife beside her plate, "She brought us all in, but I wasn't into it. So, I just said it… and then I left."

"Mal. Nothing your mother made you do— nothing you had to go through— none of it is your fault."

She places her hand next to the shiny object and runs her forefinger down the smooth surface, "After everything I told you that I did, and you still think I'm innocent. But I'm not. I've done things— horrible things— and I had planned on doing much worse." She tests the sharpness of the knife, "I almost killed someone."

"You mean that butcher your mother had you pull a gun on?" Ben asks.

"No," she softly answers. "That guy I mentioned before… the one I had been with. I planned to kill him." She touches the point of the blade and scrapes her finger against it. "I had it all planned out. I was going to go back to his crew, apologize for my stinginess, pretend to be his girl and spit in his drink, and then I was going to torture him until he died."

"But you didn't," Ben reminds her.

"Only because I knew it wouldn't change anything," Mal disputes. "But what if I told you that I still thought about it, that I wish I could have done it when I had the chance? Surely I would deserve some kind of punishment."

"Like what?" Ben exasperates. "Like sending you back to where all of this happened in the first place?"

"Or death," Mal calmly comments as she continues to transfix on the knife. "All of the people I've hurt. All of the people I will hurt. They'd be relieved. They'd be safe."

Ben takes her hand from the knife and holds it, "No one deserves death." and not a moment afterwards Mal watches as Belle reaches over to slide the knife away and add it to her own. Her mouth is left slightly open, but she doesn't speak. She just expresses a concerned carefulness of which Mal looks away from to turn to Ben. "No one deserves to die over some stupid mistake or emotional outburst. There's a reason why the death penalty no longer exists. It was deemed inhumane."

Mal slightly laughs. "Well, I'm not exactly human, am I? I'm a monster," she remarks louder. "Just like my mother."

"You're not a monster," Ben denies.

"Are you sure about that?" Mal insecurely questions, before she glows her eyes at him. "Tell me the truth. What do you really think of me?"

"I think you're a beautiful, wonderful girl who needs help." Mal stares down at the table, as she feels a couple tears escape her eyes. Ben realizes what he had said and looks at her, "Not that you're weak or anything. You're very powerful, but you have to know that the way you're thinking… it isn't very good."

"I'm just so tired of everything," Mal lets out a breath. "Sometimes… sometimes I just wish that it'd stop, that it would all just stop. And go away."

There's silence for a minute, Ben placing his free arm over Mal's shoulders, before Belle evenly responds, "I think you and Ben should skip school tomorrow."

Adam looks at her in surprise, "Really? That doesn't sound like you."

"Yeah," Ben lets out in emphasis. "I agree. You pride yourself on education. You're practically the poster woman for learning, and you think we should skip?"

"If you think about it, it's the best option," Belle reasons. "You skipped practice, because you weren't feeling well. If you go back tomorrow, then people may end up thinking you were just faking it to avoid the outcome of the article. And Mal." She warmly smiles at Mal, "I don't doubt that you've had a very hard life. First, you're raised in a prison, and then when you finally get out of there your mother has you trying to free her. With that, the sudden dating of my son, the coronation, and that news article… well, I think you deserve a break. From everything, as you said." She nods, "This should help you both greatly."

"Are you sure about this?" Ben asks.

"I'm completely sure," she confidently responds. "Just make sure you stay here. There's no point in taking a break from the outside world if you're just going to go out there anyway."

He smiles, "Does that include TV?"

"As much as I should keep you away from television, I'm just going to ask you to stay off of the news channels. Try a cartoon or whatever you kids watch. So long as you do that, then there shouldn't be any problems."

Except that there would be a problem. Mal unsurely comments, "As great as your offer is, I was planning on taking a bath tonight and I have no clothes with me."

"Then I'll lend you something to wear," Belle solves. "Like I said, I think it would be a great idea for you to stay the night, and I'm sure we can find something in your size."

"In my size maybe," Mal tries to smile, "but how about something that doesn't clash with my hair?"

She smiles back, "I'm sure we can find something."

"What is your natural hair color?" Adam asks.

Ben takes his arm off of Mal, "Dad. Maybe you shouldn't—"

"No. It's fine," Mal frowns. "I'm not a guy or an aged woman. I can answer this." She widens her eyes at him, "You want to know what my natural hair color is? It's purple." She brings a hand to her dark hair. "This shade of purple."

He slowly questions, "Why is it purple?"

Belle looks at her husband with raised eyebrows, "Adam. You can't just ask someone why their hair is purple."

"Oh. Right." He pretends to clear his throat before apologizing, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean— It's just that it's not that common."

Ben shakes his head, "Dad. You're really not helping yourself here."

"It's just hair," he tries to explain. "I didn't think—" He lets out a defeating breath, "I wasn't thinking."

"No one thinks," Mal surmises. "I must have been asked those same questions dozens of times since I've arrived here, but the reality is no one would ever ask a blond why they're blond. And the thing is, I'm no different than a blond. My hair is still a genetic thing, and it doesn't matter where it came from or what my heritage is. It doesn't change who I am as a person."

Adam solemnly nods, "I understand that now. I'm very sorry."

It's quiet for a moment, before Mal glances between him and Ben. Like Belle said, accepting an apology is what lets people move on, so she mutters, "I accept your apology." but after she says it she soon wonders if anyone truly means it or if it's supposed to make anyone feel any better at all.

- Yes. Mal was going to "apologize" for her stinginess, because that's all what people thought it was whenever she tried to explain to them about the situation of what Hook did to her. (Because the idea that I'm trying to present throughout this fanfiction, which may not become clear to everyone, is that on the Isle they had terms like "abuse" and "rape" but that it was only really used in worse case scenarios. Since there was no big age difference and since her and Hook had been doing other things together prior to the incident, a lot of people from the Isle probably wouldn't interpret it as rape. At the most, it would probably just be seen as some horrible, unfortunate situation never really to be spoken of.)