Chapter 7: A Flint on the Barbie
"Oh dear god," Flint thought to himself as he entered a huge domed room. Massive COBRA banners hung from the ceiling, while non-descript COBRA soldiers stood at each of four entrances and around the perimeter of the room. Other COBRA operatives were sitting at a myriad of computers and controls. Directly in the center of the room was a round table-like apparatus. It had an assortment of restraints and it appeared to Flint that it was just waiting for him. What exactly it was remained a mystery, but Flint had a feeling he was about to find out. The two COBRA drones prodded him sharply in his back, forcing him forward.
A darkly clad figure turned to face him, smiling sinisterly, revealing teeth that might as well been fangs. "Velcome, my Joe pet. How vonderful it iz to see you again."
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It was truly a grand scheme. There was no way COBRA could lose this time. They would soon rule the Joes, and then they would rule the world!!! All they needed was one of the strongest, smartest, handsomest (according to the Baroness) members of GI Joe, and they would have their victory.
COBRA Commander almost clapped with giddy glee as he watched the scene below him unfold. He had his man. The young and handsome Flint was currently being led into the room by a pair of nondescript, expendable COBRA drones. One was currently delighting in poking Flint in the back with his rifle. The reptilian commander could appreciate his enthusiasm, but woe to him if he injured Flint before the big plan could be set in motion.
"He truly is---"
"a magnificent---"
"specimen; strong, powerful in mind and body, and beautiful to behold." The Crimson twins, partners in crime with COBRA, finished their sentence together, coming up behind the head snake. Tomax and Xamot were truly an enigmatic pair, possessing a psychic bond that enabled them to feel where the other was and feel each other's pain---so COBRA Commander elbowed the one standing behind him. (It didn't matter which, COBRA Commander still couldn't tell them apart. One had a scar, the other didn't; or was it one didn't and the other did; or they both had one; or one just liked to experiment with lipstick and had poor aim, who knew? COBRA didn't care. They were merely a necessary evil. Every terrorist organization needed financing.) Both twins doubled over in pain. "I feel my brother's pain!" Tomax (or was it Xamot?) groaned.
Beneath his silver mask, COBRA Commander rolled his eyes. Why was it that the twins felt the need to tell everyone that every time? Everyone in Reptilian Land knew it, and, well...used it to their advantage. Idiots.
"Silence, fools!" He admonished them. "We are about to witness the downfall of the Joes. Behold---the DUPLICATOR!!!"
"A truly---"
"Magnificent---"
"Piece---" the twins paused and looked at each other. What to say? People didn't know how much work it was to finish a sentence together. Their twin bond was good, but it really took a lot of practice in front of the mirror to achieve such seamless unison. "Of machinery!" They finished in triumph, giggling with girlish glee.
"Boys, you are really losing your touch." It was the mellifluous voice of Destro, the silver fox of the COBRAs. His shiny silver pate glinted in the fluorescent lighting of the room as he glided toward the commander and the twins. He was truly a dashing figure; tall, with a sculpted body that was the envy of every male member of the COBRA organization. Truth be told, he was the object of some desire as well. But alas, his heart belonged to a woman known simply as the Baroness.
Destro was the arms supplier for COBRA, and one of the key developers of the DUPLICATOR, along with Dr. Mindbender and the Baroness. (Although, really, the Baroness had only come up with the name---along with the idea for the machine in the first place. But the research and development were all Destro and Mindbender, save for a few tidbits, that Destro felt he could take credit for. He was sleeping with her after all.)
Destro clapped a strong hand on Tomax's (Xamot's?) back. He had a moment of fiendish delight as he watched Xamot (Tomax?) flinch as well. "We are now ready to begin. I would be honored if you would explain our little surprise to our handsome captive, my esteemed COBRA commander."
"My pleasure, Destro." The commander took a moment to adjust his face mask, buffing it with a little hanky before turning to the window and switching on the microphone.
"Welcome, my dear Flint, to my humble abode. You see before you the instrument of the Joe's demise. Allow me to explain. In a few minutes time, you will be strapped onto a little apparatus known as the DNA Uptake Pattern Life Inducing Cloning Apparatus and Tissue-Organ Replicator, which we refer to affectionately as the DUPLICATOR. Samples of your DNA have already been taken and fed into the machine for analysis. Your brain and body will be scanned in full, allowing us to generate a pattern for your thoughts, memories and personality. You see on one part of the DUPLICATOR is a formless blob. That, my dear Flint, is just a bit of protoplasm, waiting to be told how to, to, to..." COBRA Commander turned to Destro.
"Differentiate," whispered the gleaming man.
"Diff-diff—dif-fer-rent-iate," the commander stuttered. "Differentiate into all manner of cells. It will become a heart, a lung, a liver, a brain—which will house all that is you. Your memories, your feelings, your essence that makes you uniquely you. Only you will not be a unique individual after this. You will have a clone, capable of doing everything you yourself do. You will not be needed anymore, and COBRA will finally be able to destroy GI Joe. We will at last rule the world! Hahahahahahahahahahaha!" The commander's voice had risen to a crescendo, ending with ear-splitting maniacal laughter.
This did not sound good, Flint thought to himself. He shuddered inwardly. In fact, this sounded pretty bad. A clone, of him? Wait a minute...
"Sounds great COBRA Commander," Flint said sarcastically. "But tell me, if this is an exact duplicate of me, how will you get it to do your bidding? I'm sure you realize my less than admirable feelings for you."
"Ohhh, not to worry, my dear Flint. You will find that Dr. Mindbender is very adept at manipulating DNA. Your clone will be used to infiltrate Joe Headquarters, but he will be completely loyal to us. He will be essentially programmed to follow our orders, while still fooling every one of your colleagues. Even, what is her name...Lady Jaye?"
Flint flushed with anger. "You leave her out of this! Touch her, and you will regret it."
"I'm sure, Flint. Only I won't be touching her. You will."
"Why you son of a—"Flint broke away from his guards, rushing toward the commander as if he could reach high above and rip him from the glass- enclosed control room. The COBRA drones quickly subdued the manacled Flint, overpowering him with a few well-placed whacks from the butts of their weapons.
"Stop, fools!" came the wretched, ear-numbing voice of the commander. Immediately yet regretfully the guards stopped their abuse of their prisoner. Flint lay on the ground, panting from the exertion. His anger and fear for his comrades overcame any pain he might have been feeling. "We do not want him damaged. Baroness!!!"
"Yes, Commander?"
"Put him on the DUPLICATOR!!!"
The Baroness motioned to the guards, who hauled the battered Flint to his feet and shoved him toward the apparatus. They hefted him roughly on top of the table, strapping him down and removing his other restraints.
In a last show of bravado, Flint shouted up at COBRA Commander. "This will never work. It has never worked before, and it won't work now!"
The commander merely laughed in his almost inhuman voice. "We will see, my dear Flint. Begin the procedure!"
The Baroness positioned herself at a small control panel at Flint's side and began to enter in data and the proper codes. The machine roared gently to life and began to slowly spin.
Flint grew immediately dizzy and nauseated. "Tell me, Baroness, what is the purpose of all this turning?"
The Baroness smiled at him. "I suppose vone could say that it facilitates the scan, but really it is just for effect."
"Effect?" He asked incredulously. The machine had begun to pick up speed and the Baroness was now only visible as a blur.
"Yes, effect. Did you ever happen to see an episode of Star Trek involving robotic duplicates, a spinning machine, and a duplicate of Kirk?"
Flint attempted to nod.
"Dr. Mindbender is a fan."
Well, that explained everything, Flint thought, turning faster and faster, the machine whining louder and louder, until he finally blacked out and fell into blessed unconsciousness.
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"You know..."
"He does..."
"Have a point," the Crimson Twins finished in unison.
"Excuse me?" COBRA Commander turned from the view below.
"Well, there was that episode with the synthoids." One of the twins spoke in rare independence.
"And the episode with the androids," the other twin chimed in.
"And the time---" Destro was about to put in his two cents worth.
"Silence fools!!!!! This cannot fail!" He stamped his foot and turned to face one of the twins. "You will see Xamot---"
"I'm Tomax!" whined the twin in a somewhat petulant voice.
"I'm Xamot!"
"Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" the commander yelled in frustration. He rushed past Tomax, but not before he punched him in the gut. Xamot doubled over in pain.
"I feel my brother's pain!"
"SILENCE!!!!!" The commander shouted in fury before all but running for the door. One could only take so much of the Crimson Twins. How dare they doubt him!!! They would soon see differently. Finally alone outside the control room, the commander allowed himself a brief moment of satisfied laughter. All would soon see differently. GI Joe most of all...
"Oh dear god," Flint thought to himself as he entered a huge domed room. Massive COBRA banners hung from the ceiling, while non-descript COBRA soldiers stood at each of four entrances and around the perimeter of the room. Other COBRA operatives were sitting at a myriad of computers and controls. Directly in the center of the room was a round table-like apparatus. It had an assortment of restraints and it appeared to Flint that it was just waiting for him. What exactly it was remained a mystery, but Flint had a feeling he was about to find out. The two COBRA drones prodded him sharply in his back, forcing him forward.
A darkly clad figure turned to face him, smiling sinisterly, revealing teeth that might as well been fangs. "Velcome, my Joe pet. How vonderful it iz to see you again."
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
It was truly a grand scheme. There was no way COBRA could lose this time. They would soon rule the Joes, and then they would rule the world!!! All they needed was one of the strongest, smartest, handsomest (according to the Baroness) members of GI Joe, and they would have their victory.
COBRA Commander almost clapped with giddy glee as he watched the scene below him unfold. He had his man. The young and handsome Flint was currently being led into the room by a pair of nondescript, expendable COBRA drones. One was currently delighting in poking Flint in the back with his rifle. The reptilian commander could appreciate his enthusiasm, but woe to him if he injured Flint before the big plan could be set in motion.
"He truly is---"
"a magnificent---"
"specimen; strong, powerful in mind and body, and beautiful to behold." The Crimson twins, partners in crime with COBRA, finished their sentence together, coming up behind the head snake. Tomax and Xamot were truly an enigmatic pair, possessing a psychic bond that enabled them to feel where the other was and feel each other's pain---so COBRA Commander elbowed the one standing behind him. (It didn't matter which, COBRA Commander still couldn't tell them apart. One had a scar, the other didn't; or was it one didn't and the other did; or they both had one; or one just liked to experiment with lipstick and had poor aim, who knew? COBRA didn't care. They were merely a necessary evil. Every terrorist organization needed financing.) Both twins doubled over in pain. "I feel my brother's pain!" Tomax (or was it Xamot?) groaned.
Beneath his silver mask, COBRA Commander rolled his eyes. Why was it that the twins felt the need to tell everyone that every time? Everyone in Reptilian Land knew it, and, well...used it to their advantage. Idiots.
"Silence, fools!" He admonished them. "We are about to witness the downfall of the Joes. Behold---the DUPLICATOR!!!"
"A truly---"
"Magnificent---"
"Piece---" the twins paused and looked at each other. What to say? People didn't know how much work it was to finish a sentence together. Their twin bond was good, but it really took a lot of practice in front of the mirror to achieve such seamless unison. "Of machinery!" They finished in triumph, giggling with girlish glee.
"Boys, you are really losing your touch." It was the mellifluous voice of Destro, the silver fox of the COBRAs. His shiny silver pate glinted in the fluorescent lighting of the room as he glided toward the commander and the twins. He was truly a dashing figure; tall, with a sculpted body that was the envy of every male member of the COBRA organization. Truth be told, he was the object of some desire as well. But alas, his heart belonged to a woman known simply as the Baroness.
Destro was the arms supplier for COBRA, and one of the key developers of the DUPLICATOR, along with Dr. Mindbender and the Baroness. (Although, really, the Baroness had only come up with the name---along with the idea for the machine in the first place. But the research and development were all Destro and Mindbender, save for a few tidbits, that Destro felt he could take credit for. He was sleeping with her after all.)
Destro clapped a strong hand on Tomax's (Xamot's?) back. He had a moment of fiendish delight as he watched Xamot (Tomax?) flinch as well. "We are now ready to begin. I would be honored if you would explain our little surprise to our handsome captive, my esteemed COBRA commander."
"My pleasure, Destro." The commander took a moment to adjust his face mask, buffing it with a little hanky before turning to the window and switching on the microphone.
"Welcome, my dear Flint, to my humble abode. You see before you the instrument of the Joe's demise. Allow me to explain. In a few minutes time, you will be strapped onto a little apparatus known as the DNA Uptake Pattern Life Inducing Cloning Apparatus and Tissue-Organ Replicator, which we refer to affectionately as the DUPLICATOR. Samples of your DNA have already been taken and fed into the machine for analysis. Your brain and body will be scanned in full, allowing us to generate a pattern for your thoughts, memories and personality. You see on one part of the DUPLICATOR is a formless blob. That, my dear Flint, is just a bit of protoplasm, waiting to be told how to, to, to..." COBRA Commander turned to Destro.
"Differentiate," whispered the gleaming man.
"Diff-diff—dif-fer-rent-iate," the commander stuttered. "Differentiate into all manner of cells. It will become a heart, a lung, a liver, a brain—which will house all that is you. Your memories, your feelings, your essence that makes you uniquely you. Only you will not be a unique individual after this. You will have a clone, capable of doing everything you yourself do. You will not be needed anymore, and COBRA will finally be able to destroy GI Joe. We will at last rule the world! Hahahahahahahahahahaha!" The commander's voice had risen to a crescendo, ending with ear-splitting maniacal laughter.
This did not sound good, Flint thought to himself. He shuddered inwardly. In fact, this sounded pretty bad. A clone, of him? Wait a minute...
"Sounds great COBRA Commander," Flint said sarcastically. "But tell me, if this is an exact duplicate of me, how will you get it to do your bidding? I'm sure you realize my less than admirable feelings for you."
"Ohhh, not to worry, my dear Flint. You will find that Dr. Mindbender is very adept at manipulating DNA. Your clone will be used to infiltrate Joe Headquarters, but he will be completely loyal to us. He will be essentially programmed to follow our orders, while still fooling every one of your colleagues. Even, what is her name...Lady Jaye?"
Flint flushed with anger. "You leave her out of this! Touch her, and you will regret it."
"I'm sure, Flint. Only I won't be touching her. You will."
"Why you son of a—"Flint broke away from his guards, rushing toward the commander as if he could reach high above and rip him from the glass- enclosed control room. The COBRA drones quickly subdued the manacled Flint, overpowering him with a few well-placed whacks from the butts of their weapons.
"Stop, fools!" came the wretched, ear-numbing voice of the commander. Immediately yet regretfully the guards stopped their abuse of their prisoner. Flint lay on the ground, panting from the exertion. His anger and fear for his comrades overcame any pain he might have been feeling. "We do not want him damaged. Baroness!!!"
"Yes, Commander?"
"Put him on the DUPLICATOR!!!"
The Baroness motioned to the guards, who hauled the battered Flint to his feet and shoved him toward the apparatus. They hefted him roughly on top of the table, strapping him down and removing his other restraints.
In a last show of bravado, Flint shouted up at COBRA Commander. "This will never work. It has never worked before, and it won't work now!"
The commander merely laughed in his almost inhuman voice. "We will see, my dear Flint. Begin the procedure!"
The Baroness positioned herself at a small control panel at Flint's side and began to enter in data and the proper codes. The machine roared gently to life and began to slowly spin.
Flint grew immediately dizzy and nauseated. "Tell me, Baroness, what is the purpose of all this turning?"
The Baroness smiled at him. "I suppose vone could say that it facilitates the scan, but really it is just for effect."
"Effect?" He asked incredulously. The machine had begun to pick up speed and the Baroness was now only visible as a blur.
"Yes, effect. Did you ever happen to see an episode of Star Trek involving robotic duplicates, a spinning machine, and a duplicate of Kirk?"
Flint attempted to nod.
"Dr. Mindbender is a fan."
Well, that explained everything, Flint thought, turning faster and faster, the machine whining louder and louder, until he finally blacked out and fell into blessed unconsciousness.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
"You know..."
"He does..."
"Have a point," the Crimson Twins finished in unison.
"Excuse me?" COBRA Commander turned from the view below.
"Well, there was that episode with the synthoids." One of the twins spoke in rare independence.
"And the episode with the androids," the other twin chimed in.
"And the time---" Destro was about to put in his two cents worth.
"Silence fools!!!!! This cannot fail!" He stamped his foot and turned to face one of the twins. "You will see Xamot---"
"I'm Tomax!" whined the twin in a somewhat petulant voice.
"I'm Xamot!"
"Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" the commander yelled in frustration. He rushed past Tomax, but not before he punched him in the gut. Xamot doubled over in pain.
"I feel my brother's pain!"
"SILENCE!!!!!" The commander shouted in fury before all but running for the door. One could only take so much of the Crimson Twins. How dare they doubt him!!! They would soon see differently. Finally alone outside the control room, the commander allowed himself a brief moment of satisfied laughter. All would soon see differently. GI Joe most of all...