Quiet

(Day 43: Sunday Morning)

Mal takes in a deep breath as her arm hits something next to her, and when she hears him make a noise she lets out the breath in relief, "Ben?"

He opens his eyes, "Mal?"

She takes the covers off and slides to the edge of the bed, "Sorry."

"What's going on?"

Mal shakes her head, "Nothing." as she mutters under her breath. "I just felt like I was in danger."

"What?" he questions, seemingly confused.

Mal stands to her feet and slips on her shoes, "This was a stupid idea." before she goes to take her jacket from the chair. "I shouldn't have come here."

"Are you leaving?"

Mal cracks the door open, "Don't worry about me, okay? I'm sure you have a lot of stuff to do tomorrow. Just go back to sleep." and after she sees his eyes shut again she leaves. It had been sudden, but she can still feel it. She remembers sensing something around her, and then immediately she had been filled with dread. He was a danger. Mal shakes her head as she enters her dorm, before she finds the purple bag on her bed and heads out again. She doesn't know where she's going, but it's going to be somewhere quiet where she can't be alone.

Mal ferociously sketches each scene that invades her mind. She remembers his face perfectly, and she hates that after all of this time she can still pick out all of the little details: the dark circles, black eye makeup, and that creepy smile that lines up with his defined cheek bones. She hates it all, and yet she hopes that if she colors it in, then she'll finally be able to forget. What's a young lass like you doing in a place like this? She remembers how his fake hook brushed her hair over her shoulder. Is it true what they say? He took a step closer. You come here for heat?

"Shh," Mal shuts her eyes tight.

How interesting. When he reached for her she took a step back. Who are you?

"Shh," she shushes louder.

Why, I run this establishment. He stepped forward. And, you know, if you ever—

"Just be quiet."

It would be free.

Mal slams the sketchpad shut, "I said be quiet." and she takes deep breaths before placing a hand to her head. "Just stay quiet." She shuts her eyes and another image flashes, "Please."

I doubt those three years of your life meant absolutely nothing to you. To our nice, quiet night together. She shakes her head and starts to put the colored pencils away, but as she remembers the taste of the wine on Ben's lips she finds herself calm some. She gathers her things and stands, before she laughs, "Fuck this." and leaves the library, not even bothering to relock it. There's some in the kitchen. She knows there is. She saw it back when they all made those love potion cookies for Ben.

She strides down the hallways to the kitchen, not a single person in sight on her way there, and when she finally gets there Mal rummages through the cupboard. "Come on. I know you're in here." She searches some more, "Just come out. I promise I won't drink all of you." and it's not a moment later that she finds it in the bottom cupboard. Immediately, she takes the cap off and takes a drink, and then she makes a face as she reads the label. Cooking wine. "Well. You're still wine." She shuts the cupboard door with her foot, "I'm sure you'll do just fine." before she finds a large glass and sits down at the island counter. Mal smiles as she pours it into the glass, "You're red too. Is there any strawberries in you?"

When she takes the first gulp from the glass she makes herself swallow it, "You're verrry salty. You know that?" She laughs and takes another drink, "Well. It's official. I can't possibly mess up any more." She clinks her glass to the bottle. "Cheers to that."

"Mal. Is that you?"

Mal looks up and sees the brown haired girl, "Oh. Hey, Lons." She takes another drink. "What're you doing here?"

"I just got back from my morning run. I was going to make myself some juice." She walks over to the counter, "You're not actually drinking that, are you?"

Mal laughs, "It's working, isn't it?"

"Working? What?" Lonnie shakes her head and grabs the nearly empty bottle, "The salt content in here is terrible. No, actually. It's harmful. That's why they get this garbage instead of the real stuff. The purpose is to keep people from straight up drinking it."

"Boo hoo," Mal responds back, before she takes another drink. "They're jus' going to have ta deal with it."

It takes a moment for Lonnie to ask, "Why are you doing this to yourself?"

Mal eyes the counter, "I remember everything." before more images of Ben and Hook enter her mind. "Speaking of which." She takes another large gulp. "Uh, this stuff is horrible."

"And yet you keep drinking it," Lonnie watches.

"You have a better idea?" Lonnie sits down opposite of her and takes the glass away. "Hey. That's mine." Mal tries to snatch it back from her.

Lonnie keeps it away, "Tell me what's going on. What are you trying to forget?"

"What am I trying to forget," Mal laughs before gritting her teeth. "Everything!" She widens her eyes at her, "Now, give it back to me."

She huffs in disbelief, "No."

Mal hunches over and places a hand to her head. Her hypnotism didn't work. "I think I'm sick."

"Not surprising," Lonnie comments. "That stuff might as well be poisonous. How much of it did you have anyway?"

"The bottle." Lonnie's mouth gapes open, but she fails to speak. Instead, she takes the remainder of the bottle and glass to the sink. "What are you doing?"

She comes back and hands her the glass, "Drink this."

Mal looks at the clear liquid, "What is it?"

"To help with the salt. Just drink it," she instructs.

Mal gulps down the liquid, but almost immediately she feels it rising back up her throat, "What—" She tries to stand to her feet; however, she has to balance herself on the counter, and she's only able to take a single step before throwing up onto the floor. "Ugh." She sits back down in the chair.

Lonnie shakes her head, "Maybe I should get Ben."

"No," Mal sternly responds, before she shakes her head, "I don't want to deal with him right now."

She looks at her in concern, "What happened?"

"Nothing," Mal answers as she rests her head in her arms. "He's nice."

"But you don't want me to get him?" Mal shakes her head, and Lonnie sits back down. "He's your boyfriend. He should know about this."

"No," Mal softly responds. "He knows enough me already."

"Mal," Lonnie starts. "I'm trying here. I really am. But, honestly, I don't know what you want me to do."

"Leave," Mal tiredly replies.

"I can't just leave you like this," she loudly insists. "You need help."

Mal makes a noise, "I miss Evie."

"Evie? Your roommate," Lonnie realizes. "Do you want me to get her?"

"No," Mal slowly answers. "She's going to be mad. Mad, and sad, and worried, and sad."

"Why would she be upset with you?" Mal doesn't speak, only lifting her head up a little. "Well… it can't be that bad, right? Do you have your phone? We could call instead."

"I don't want her to see me like this." Lonnie doesn't speak. "I betrayed her… I betrayed Jay. I said I would be okay."

"What do you want to do?" Lonnie calmly asks.

Mal pictures Evie, "I want to see her."

"So, you will call her, then?" she questions.

Mal pushes herself up from the counter, "Yeah. I'll call her." before she reaches for her jacket's pocket and unzips it.

Lonnie watches Mal set the phone down on the table and stare at it, "She's not going to hate you."

She glances up at her for a second before pulling up Evie's contact and calling her. "Mal?" She grunts, "It's five A.M. What's going on?"

"I missed you," she innocently says.

"Missed me?" Evie questions. "You just saw me this morning. Or, I mean, yesterday."

"I know," Mal pouts, "but I do."

"Okay. No," Evie disbelieves. "What's really going on? Where are you?"

Mal smiles, "The kitchen."

"What are you doing in the kitchen?"

Mal laughs, "I found the wine."

Evie lets out a long, sad breath, "No, Mal. You didn't."

When Mal doesn't respond Lonnie speaks into it, "Hey, Evie. It's Lonnie. By the time I found Mal she already finished off an entire bottle of cooking wine."

"How is she?" Evie asks.

"Honestly?" Lonnie questions. "She's sick, obviously, but she seems more worried about how you will react to it."

"Yeah," Evie comments, "Mal's health hasn't exactly been a priority to her lately." She pauses, "Can you, please, just get her up here?"

"Yeah," she answers. "Of course."

"I'm sorry," Mal frowns into the phone.

Evie's quiet for a moment, "We'll talk about this up here. Be good and follow Lonnie. She's going to take you to me."

"Okay."

Lonnie picks up the phone, "We'll be up there in a few minutes." before the call ends.

Mal takes the phone back, "She's gone."

Lonnie tries to smile at her, "Don't worry. We're going to find her." before she stands up, goes around the island counters, and guides Mal out of the room.

- Don't you just hate memories?