I Wouldn't Change a Thing
(Day 43: Sunday Night)
When Ben enters the dining room his mother smiles at him, "Hi, honey. How was your day?" before she eyes the area around him. "Where's Mal?"
Ben sits down across from her, "Things have been… eventful. And Mal is sick."
"Sick?" His mother worries, "It's not the flu, is it? She needs to be well for the hearing."
He frowns, "I don't know what it is." as he glances down at the dark wood. "All I know is that I'm not allowed to see Mal and that Evie seems to think that she's sick because of me."
"Because of you?" she questions. "How could that be?" He shakes his head. "You two had dinner out, right? Could it be food poisoning?"
"No." Ben looks back up at her, "We ate the same thing."
"What about the drinks?"
Ben pauses for a moment, "I don't think she actually drank anything at all." His mother hums. "Also. It seemed like Evie was upset about me not watching Mal close enough, so whatever made her sick, it probably happened after dinner."
She nods, "And Evie, that's Mal's friend?"
"She's Mal's best friend," he stressfully corrects, "and also her roommate."
When Mrs. Potts comes in with the final dish his mother says, "Thank you." before returning her attention to him. "Don't worry about it. She can't keep you from seeing Mal forever."
"Not with the hearing coming up anyway," Ben acknowledges. "But, still. She trusted me to take care of Mal." He's quiet for a second, "What if it really is my fault that she got sick, because I wasn't keeping close enough of a watch on her or something?"
His mother pours herself a glass of milk, "You can't keep an eye on everything she does." and then Ben pours some into his own glass. "Besides, you can't possibly know it's your fault if you don't even know what she's sick with."
Ben nods, but then he looks down at his empty plate, "She said I needed a better excuse for not taking care of my girlfriend."
"Excuse?" she inquires.
Ben looks back up at her, "I was too embarrassed to explain myself, so I gave a very generic, lame excuse instead." He quiets for a moment, "Should I tell Evie the truth?"
She places a couple scoops of the beef ragu onto her plate, "That's up to you."
"Mom."
She looks at him, "You know the situation better than I do. Only you can decide the best way to handle it."
He watches as she places some mixed vegetables onto her plate, "You're not going to wait for Dad?"
She attempts to smile, "He's not feeling well. I suggested for him to get some fresh air and take a walk around the grounds."
"Will he be joining us afterwards?"
"If he does," his mother takes a stressed breath, "then it will be against my better judgement." Ben starts to dish up himself. "Oh! Speaking of judgement, we're having Aurora's family over for dinner tomorrow."
Ben hums, "And whose idea was that?"
"I believe it was Audrey's. Apparently she's worried about you."
He shakes his head, "She's always worried… trying to save me." as he pushes some items around the plate with his fork.
"You don't need to worry about that anymore," his mother answers before taking a bite, and then he looks up at her. "It is a Christian woman's duty to make sure her husband keeps his faith, but now that you two are no longer dating she has no reason to do that."
Ben stabs a piece of the meat, "I hope so. That was probably the most stressful part of our relationship, having to put up with all of that… even more stressful than her cheating."
His mother puts her fork down for a second, "Ben." and it's quiet as they stare at each other for a moment; however, then she glances down. "I know that we've told the public that our family is perfect…" She looks at him again. "I would hate to think that you look at the relationship I have with your father and think it's normal." She folds her hands together, "I don't want you to aim for what we have. You deserve better than that."
"But you love each other, and you're happy," Ben defends. "That's all I want, is to be happy and loved."
"And we do love each other," she nods. "However, we aren't always happy." He watches as she takes a sad breath and pinches the tears off of her eyelashes, and then she reaches for his hand. "Things in a relationship can build up… feelings can build up. And, yes, it's important to stick by your partner and try to be understanding, but it's just as equally important to feel for yourself and do what's best for you."
Ben it quiet for a second, "I don't understand."
She seriously explains, "Whoever you're dating, I don't want you to just ignore the things they do, especially if the things they're doing are repetitive. If she tells you that she's sorry but continues to do it anyway, if she gives you some lavish gift to apologize, I don't want you to have to take it. I want you to ask yourself how you feel about it. If it feels wrong, then I want you to trust that instinct. Because, if she doesn't change, that feeling can only build, and I don't want you caught between sad and happy times. All I want for you is to be happy."
Ben hesitates, "Has Father ever done something that left you with a wrong feeling?"
She attempts to smile, "You know how he gets. The curse impacted him very negatively, gave him a lot of stress at such a young age… and it caused him to grow into a very angry man." Ben's frown deepens. "He loves me. He loves both of us, and these… outbursts of his, he can't help it. I know that." She looks down and shuts her eyes, "But, yes, because all he can do is apologize for his actions, it has left me with an unsettling feeling." When she opens her eyes again Ben can see the tears glistening in them. "I don't want you to go through what I have to. I want you to enjoy the good times with the person you're with without second-guessing it."
He looks down at his plate, "Do you second-guess your relationship with him?" before he looks up to see her answer.
She hesitates, "I do have regrets." but then her smile widens as she squeezes his hand. "But I wouldn't change a thing. I'm happy right where I am: here with you."
Ben opens his mouth before asking, "If I wasn't here, would you still be here?"
Her smile drops, "I wouldn't have left your father. I loved him too much for that."
"And you still do." he inquires.
She laughs, "Yes. Of course I do." but Ben compares her grin to the one Mal has made several times now.
"There's something you're not telling me."
She pulls her hand away from his, "I've told you all you need to know. Your father and I love each other, and I'm happy here. Nothing else matters." Ben doesn't respond, only observing her intently. "Now, go on. Eat. You haven't taken a single bite yet."
"Right." Ben looks down at his plate and picks up his fork, "It's really good." before he begins to eat.
-I'd really like to know what you think of this chapter. Leave a response.
- Don't mind the update of this chapter. I just had to correct a capitalization error.