It was all his fault. If only he had noticed the assailants sooner, if only he hadn't gotten shot, if only he had not lost consciousness before he could warn his team.
The first thing he had noticed when he woke up had not been the dull ache in his leg, but the fact that the room was empty. Sure, there were the usual items: heart monitor, an IV drip; even the nightstand complete with a remote control to the bed and a button to call the nurse.
What made him anxious was that there was no McGee and Ziva bickering about god knows what; no Ducky reciting one of his experiences to a nurse; no Abby who had curled up in bed next to him; no Gibbs, silently sipping his coffee as he watched over him.
He turned his head towards the door at the sound of footsteps getting closer. Perhaps he'd over reacted; perhaps Gibbs had just gone to get his umpteenth refill of coffee. Still, something felt very wrong, though he couldn't quite figure out what.
''Agent DiNozzo.'' Tony's gut was screaming by the time the stranger had entered his room. The man was dressed in an expensive looking suit- Armani, if DiNozzo had to guess. His dark hair was short and neatly styled, complimenting the man's sharp jaw line. He reminded Tony a bit of a young Boris Karloff. ''I'm glad to see you awake. How are you feeling?''
''Just peachy.'' Tony mumbled sarcastically, licking his lips. The man grabbed a glass of water and a straw from the bedside table and held it out for Tony to drink. Hesitantly, DiNozzo put the straw between his lips, eyeing the man carefully as he took a sip.
''Allow me to introduce myself,'' The man placed the glass back on the side and reached into his suit jacket. Tony wasn't too surprised when the man held up a badge, though it did not calm his nerves. ''Special Agent Benjamin Chapman, CIA.''
''To what do I owe the pleasure, Special Agent Chapman?'' DiNozzo tried his best to hide his growing sense of dread. Waking up alone in a hospital was bad enough, waking up with a CIA agent visiting made him fear for the worst.
''I'm sorry to be the bearer or bad news,'' At those words, Tony's heart truly sank. This could not be happening, not now, not ever. The room seemed to spin and a chill settled deep within his bones as the agent confirmed his greatest fears. ''It seems backup did not arrive in time. Our investigation confirms that a fourth assailant had caught your team off guard while they were performing first aid on you.''
Tony remembered the sense of dread he had felt when Ziva had confirmed only three assailants dead. When he had been shot, he had been out in the open, which allowed him a clear view of their attackers. He'd counted four, and he hadn't been able to tell his boss.
He'd tried to warn Gibbs, but at the time he had already lost too much blood: despite his claims that 'DiNozzos don't pass out'; Tony had passed out before he could alert his friends of the danger they were in.
''…They're gone?'' Tony barely registered the tremor in his voice. It wasn't just his voice: his entire body was shaking, shock quickly setting in.
''I'm sorry for your loss.'' Agent Chapman responded sincerely, allowing the NCIS agent a moment to take in the news. He grabbed a nearby chair and pulled it closer to the bed. He put the badge he'd been holding onto back into his pocket, waiting patiently.
''Isn't it the FBI's job to take witness statements?'' Tony asked after a few minutes. In that short time, DiNozzo's eyes had gone cold, as if a piece of his soul had died with the devastating news. Still, Agent Chapman noted, there was a sharpness in his gaze that the man admired.
''I'm not here for your statement.'' Chapman waited for Tony to meet his eyes, leaning forward in his chair and lowering his voice. ''I'm here to offer you a chance to seek justice.''
''I'm not following.'' Tony frowned, shifting slightly in his bed to get a better look at the CIA agent. ''Did you not arrest the fourth assailant?''
''I'm afraid he'd already escaped by the time we arrived at the scene,'' Chapman explained apologetically. ''But we are on the lookout for him. He will not be able to buy so much as a candy bar without us knowing.''
''Then why haven't you caught him yet?!'' Tony snapped, anger rising to the surface. His team, his friends, his family, was gone, and the thought of the culprit walking around freely made him sick to his stomach.
''Because, Agent DiNozzo, he is part of a much larger picture.''
Tony gaped at Chapman.
''A bigger fish?'' DiNozzo cursed how weak he currently felt. If it weren't for the painkillers still running through his veins, he would have lunged at Chapman by now. ''What exactly is more important to the CIA than catching the killer of three federal agents?!''
''A terrorist group responsible for the deaths of hundreds of people, including federal agents.'' Chapman stated matter-of-factly.
DiNozzo stared at him blankly. Thinking carefully, he remembered that they never discovered whom Lieutenant Murdock had been trying to sell the stolen weapons to. Had they truly stumbled across a terrorist organisation without realising it?
Tony eyed Chapman carefully. If he was telling the truth, then the agent in him understood why they were waiting to make an arrest. They could not risk blowing up a larger operation. Another part of Tony didn't care. His entire world had just come crashing down, and he wanted nothing more than to watch whoever killed his family take their final breath.
''You said you could give me a chance to seek justice?'' Tony asked after a while. He felt exhausted and hollow; like someone had carved a hole deep within him that he somehow needed to fill again. Chapman nodded.
''Right now, they believe that Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo died at the harbour shooting.'' He explained, leaning back into the chair. ''This can work to our advantage. There's a division within the CIA called Ghost Ops.''
''Ghost Ops?'' Tony repeated incredulously. ''Isn't that a Call of Duty game?''
''That would just be Ghosts.'' Agent Chapman retorted unfazed. ''Though you're not far off: Ghost Ops are trained special agents that are 'off the radar': by stripping them of their true identity, they can become anyone, or no one, and gain access to intel that we normally would not be able to retrieve.''
Though the thought of being stripped of his identity made his skin crawl, Tony did not have to think long about his options. Still, there was one thing he needed to know.
''What about Abby?'' He began sadly, already anticipating the answer. ''And Ducky, and Palmer?''
''At this moment, they all believe you died along with your team.'' Again Tony felt like he was going to be sick. ''These guys have been unforgiving: they wouldn't let a witness escape. If you returned to them now, they might become targets as well.''
After what felt like an eternity, Tony took a deep breath and nodded. He hated the thought of lying to them, but if he wanted justice for Ziva, McGee and Gibbs, he had to do this.
''Where do we start?'' He asked.
Agent Chapman stood up from his chair and placed a firm hand on Tony's shoulder, squeezing it reassuringly.
''We start by getting you better.''