The semester's over for me, now! I can get to work on new chapters soon!
XOXO,
Blue
Steve wanted to hold me and talk after I came in his arms, but I was so high from orgasm endorphins, I was being claimed by sleep.
I woke up to Steve sketching me in the low light from the heating system, wearing nothing but his pajama pants. "What are you doing?" I mumbled, brushing my hair out of eyes.
"You look so pretty," he said. "I want to remember this night forever."
"I don't know if I want to see it," I admitted.
"I don't know that I'd show you. Too embarrassing," he said, flipping the sketch book closed.
"Now I want to see," I complained. "I've seen your sketches before."
"Only the stuff I think is good."
"I'm proud of all your art," I said, sitting up slowly.
"Just a second, don't move," he said flipping his sketchbook open again.
I felt like Rose in Titanic as he sketched me naked.
"At least you didn't sneak a naked picture of me on your phone," I teased. I had been pretty furious when I found naked pictures of myself sleeping on Chad's phone a few times and had deleted them before bitching him out.
"S.H.I.E.L.D hacks that all the time. I don't want to share you with other people," he said. I could hear the scratching of his pencil. "I want you all to myself."
I had never posed nude and I wasn't used to being naked around another person for so long at one period of time. I felt my nipples getting hard again in the cool air. I was terribly aware of my bare body in front of him, but I didn't feel ashamed. Or self-conscious. The way Steve looked at me… He was the superhero, and here I was, thinking I was the powerless, wimpy and average human girl. But, it was dawning on me that I had a power over him. An incredible power.
"Perfect," he said after I had been sitting in the bed for about twenty minutes.
"Let me see?" I asked, pulling the sheet up to my breasts.
He shook his head, and flipped the sketchbook shut. "No… it's for me. So I can remember you when I'm alone in a big cold bed in New York."
"I don't mind," I said. "I'd like it to be me."
"I can think of you so in so much detail in my mind when you're not around. Even more of you, now."
"Should I be embarrassed?," I asked softly, laying back down in the bed.
"I'm never showing these to anybody. I'd never do that to you." He put his sketch pad back into his duffel.
"How long was I asleep, baby?" I asked.
"An hour an half. Give or take."
"I have tomorrow morning off from work," I said seductively, stretching my leg a top the sheet, rolling over onto my stomach. "Come back to bed?"
He climbed into the bed, not breaking eye contact with me, a smile curving up the edges of his lips. "I can't take my eyes off you," he muttered, propping himself up on his fists in either side of my thighs. "I…" His smile faltered.
"Yes?"
"I am so happy you came into my life, Danielle," he said softly. "This was the best night of my life so far. I understand now why you made me wait. Thank you for seeing past my flaws."
"Virginity is not a flaw. And you don't have to worry about it anymore. But are you trying to seduce me again?" I asked, arching an eyebrow and grinning.
"Well… yeah. Like you weren't just trying to bring me back to bed just now," he closed his eyes and leaned in to kiss me.
I laid back into the bed, escaping his arms and the cover of the sheet. "I want to enjoy you, Stevie."
He sat up, drawing the sheet off me slowly, as if I were a present he was unwrapping, seeing me naked again. He started up my body by pressing kisses to my knee, then to the point of my hip, then my belly button, he lingered over my breasts, and laid down atop me to kiss them, his hips rested between my legs, his lips brushing against my nipple, and I stroked his hair. He seemed to be a breast man. "Do I make you happy?"
"Yeah, you do," I said, hooking the waist of his pants with my big toe, and I pushed them down his hips. He wriggled them off, I heard him kicking the end of my bed, and I closed my eyes, arching my back, to enjoy him pinching my nipples, kissing around them, sucking on them too. I wished I could feel this warm and safe all the time, always around him, never having to leave this apartment. If it was just us, I'd be happy.
I sat up in the bed to get another condom, and saw Lourdes Marie staring at us from the desk with a look of hate on her face, mostly because Steve was taking up the bed where she'd have usually slept.
"Lourdes Marie is giving us the stink-eye," I said. "I think we've traumatized her!"
"Poor cat. I hope we traumatize her more. A lot more," he laughed.
I giggled, too, and let him climb up me to kiss me. We kissed for a while, holding each other, letting each other's bodies mould to the other. His hand slid up my back, up my spine, holding my head. I loved it when he held my head while we kissed. My hands were getting familiar with his form, so much so that I could have picked him out by touch easily.
We didn't have to hide from each other, especially right now. I felt his erection against the inside of my thigh again before he reached down and pumped his cock a few times.
"Let me do it this time," he said as I tore open the condom pack. I handed it over to him and he got up on his knees between my parted legs. He looked so tempting.
"Can you wait a second?" I asked, sitting up, running my fingers down his washboards abs before he had a chance to put the condom on. He shivered, and I curved my fingers around his shaft. He didn't resist, but his head leaned back as my fingers started stroking him. His cock was silky hardness against my palm. I wanted to feel his bare cock inside me, but I knew it was stupid to do so. I couldn't risk a pregnancy right now.
"Oh God, Dani… that feels so good…" he whispered. His voice, so low and guttural, made me shiver. I reached up with my other hand to play with one of his nipples, and he groaned with sharp pleasure. Seeing him so erect and enjoying my touch… I shivered in anticipation. His hand closed over the mine around his cock. "I don't think I can hold out much longer, where's the rubber?"
"Right here," I said, handing him the condom in the sheets, releasing him. He put it on, surprisingly well this time, his hands not shaking, but his breathing shallow and quick, and he bent his head down to kiss me, pushing me back onto my back.
"Hold on, let me try something," I whispered, slipping my own fingers down between my legs, but he accidentally shoved his cock into the joint of my inner hip. "Wait!"
"Sorry!"
I slid my fingers between my lips and held myself open for him. "Okay, okay…"
He sighed softly, eyes shutting as his length entered me, filling me. He was so big, he stretched me a bit. "Oh!" I cried out, still not prepared for it.
"Am I hurting you?"
"No, baby, it's fine," I groaned as he paused, hesitating.
He settled his weight on top of me, and starting slowly, tortuously pushing into me and slowly drawing it out just a little bit. "Okay?"
"Okay."
He continued to thrust in and out of me, and I slid my hand between us to stroke my clit in hopes I'd have an orgasm during sex this time. He started speeding up, grunting softly with every thrust of his hips, and I felt the friction building. I arched against him, and let him cum inside me, eyes squeezing shut, regardless that I hadn't made it there, myself.
"Ah, God! Dani!"
"I know, I know, baby," I whispered, digging my nails into his back with my free hand.
He cried out again, and I felt him pulse inside me. He didn't say anything, just sighed, all the tension in his torso relaxing. I rubbed his back, giving up on an orgasm for now. He caught his breath as I pressed a few soft kisses to his shoulder, his breath tickling my neck.
"I'm sorry I didn't get you there… again."
"It's alright."
"Where's the bullet?"
"Somewhere in the sheets, I think," I muttered as he pulled out of me. I grunted at the suddenly vacancy inside me.
"Dani, I…"
"Yes?"
"I want to tell you how I feel."
"How do you feel, Steve?" I asked, suddenly aware he was saying something that wasn't easy for him.
"I feel like.. I um…"
"It's okay, you can tell me anything,"I whispered, reaching over to the nightstand for a tissue. "Tissue?"
"Yeah," he said, accepting it, taking off the condom beside me. "Dani, I think I… I'm…" He had trouble forming words.
"Are you okay?" I asked, rubbing his enormous bicep with one hand, looking at his conflicted expression.
"Yeah, I'm… I'm happy I met you. And that you're my first," he finally said, picking up my hand to kiss my palm.
"Me too," I admitted softly. We settled into the bed, and he spooned behind me, his hand slid between my legs, thumb brushing against my clit.
I woke up the next morning to the rich aroma of coffee and the sound of bacon sizzling in the pan. We had fallen asleep after I came, with soft kisses and whispers of affection after making love that second time.
Sliding out of bed, I was a little sore where Steve had entered me. I sighed softly, knowing I'd need some Aleve or ibuprofen. I grabbed my robe, and as I was putting it on, Steve poked his head out of the kitchen. "'Morning!" he said, chipper. I smirked when I saw how much confidence was in his stride. He was a new man, walking taller.
"Good morning," I replied. "I'm going to take a shower really fast and be right out."
"Eggs over easy?"
"Sure."
After a quick shower, I put on some yoga pants and a long-sleeved t-shirt, and found Steve had breakfast on the table as I came out of the bathroom.
"Is it bad that I don't want to take you out any more, just stay in?" he asked, getting the butter and strawberry preserves out of the fridge.
"As fun as last night was, I don't want to withdraw from the world. Not all the time," I said, getting a coffee mug out of the cabinet and pouring some hot coffee. Steve squeezed me from behind and planted a kiss on my cheek.
"I promise I'll never stop chasing you."
I leaned into it.
As we got ready for the day, I noticed how sweet and affectionate he was with me. He was enamored with me, I realized. And I was with him, too. It was nice to feel that way with someone. I realized I had never really had another person treat me like this before.
After lunch at my apartment, he promised he could entertain himself as I went to school.
In class, I apparently was glowing.
"You had sex last night," Alissa whispered as I got out my notebook before lecture started.
"What?" I cried, surprised. "What are you talking about?"
"It better be Steve," she said. "He's in town, right?"
"Yeah, so?" I asked, cheeks warming up.
"Aw, I think it's sweet," she admitted. "You are so happy about him."
"I am?"
"Yeah. He's good for you," she said. "I'm happy, too. He's the kind of guy I love seeing you around."
I got a few cute texts from him during lecture that he was thinking about me and how anxious he was about me coming home after he had gone for a two-hour run at the National Mall.
At least buy me dinner first before you expect me to put out. I'm a lady ;) I texted back.
How do you feel about revisiting Circa?
"He's taking you out to Circa?" she asked.
"Do you want to come and have a drink with us?"
"That's perfect, Joel's off from the OR tonight."
"Let me ask Steve."
Maybe we shouldn't have had that bottle of wine at dinner. I hardly ate anything, but that was more out of me being completely enamored with him. Alissa and Joel got a little too drunk and we had fun. We needed to celebrate last night.
I was definitely a bit tipsy when I got into the Lyft on the way home. Steve basically had to hold my head up. "You are such a lightweight," he said.
"Don't judge!" I cried. "I never get the chance to drink anymore! Except when you pay!"
"Women should never buy drinks for themselves," he said. "That's a gentleman's job." He had to help me up out of the car, and I could hardly walk in my heels. Steve threw me over his shoulder in a fireman's hold and carried me up the stairs and unlocked my apartment. He tossed me down on the bed.
"Found this on your door," he said, handing me a piece of paper.
I read it, it was an angry, typed-out anonymous note from one of my neighbors about how much noise I was making.
"Chicken," I grumbled, wadding it up. "He couldn't sign it?"
"I'd tell him to go chase himself," Steve grumbled from the bathroom, brushing his teeth.
"Like he doesn't play Wiz Khalifa all night and smoke weed at all hours of the night," I grumbled. "I think he's just jealous I was getting laid."
"Probably," Steve said, spitting out toothpaste. He ran the water while I took off my shoes.
I sat up and saw him loosening his tie and unbuttoning his shirt.
"God, you are so hot," I sighed, climbing off the bed clumsily. I squeezed into my tiny bathroom and pulled the shirt out from the waistband of his dress pants, going in for a kiss.
"Dani, stop!" Steve cried, pulling away, horrified.
"What?" I cried, offended.
"You're drunk and can't consent."
"I am not!"
"You got me reading about feminism and consent and the rules, and now you're trying to backtrack?"
"I… no ! I'm not that drunk and I know you want to do it!"
"I'm gonna- I'm gonna do the right thing and wait all night until you sober up!"
I groaned.
"It hurts me too! This is my last night in town and I should have reminded you when we ordered an entire bottle of wine."
"I tell you what, I'm coming up for MLK weekend while you're on call, we have fuck all you want, and I won't have a drop of alcohol," I said, stumbling into the bedroom.
"Language!"
"Oh my God!" I complained. "I'm making some coffee." In the kitchen, I knocked over the canister with the coffee grounds in it, making it clatter all over the counter.
"Are you sure you're not drunk?" Steve was leaning on the wall watching me, smirking.
"I hate you."
Steve's work phone buzzed on the desk, waking me up.
I had sobered up enough to be annoyed by it. Steve was beside me in the bed, breathing hard enough he was almost snoring. If he hadn't had such a secretive job, I'd have gotten the phone and woken him up. I didn't want to risk his clearance, so I elbowed him.
His eyes fluttered open and he groaned. "They're not supposed to be paging me unless it's the apocalypse and Christ came back."
He got up out of bed and picked up the phone.
I flopped back into the warm mattress and covers. He checked the message and grumbled unintelligibly under his breath before coming back to bed. "Language," I teased.
"I wasn't cursing!" He replied, mock-offended, climbing back into the bed.
I remembered him wearing those same flannel pajama pants last night, how nervous and quick-to-the-touch his response had been. In my memory, I saw his cock straining them, and I felt myself squirming at the thought.
"I don't feel like I can get enough of you," I admitted. "I'm sorry I got drunk tonight. I didn't think you'd mind."
"Can we just be sober whenever we make love?" Steve asked quietly as he laid down in the bed beside me. "You know I don't want to mess this up. I don't ever want to do something you don't like."
"You haven't."
I almost dozed off, but I felt his hand pick mine up and he pressed my knuckles to his lips.
"I know I'm not that experienced," he said, as I opened my eyes "but you were so sweet last night letting everything be about me. I feel like I don't deserve you. I'm lucky, I…"
I placed a gentle kiss on his shoulder. "Yes?"
He shook his head and I saw him smile in the darkness. "I need a patient, knowledgeable teacher so I know what to do with you."
The sweet dripping off this man was almost too much to handle. An irrepressible smile crossed my face. "Who are you going to ask?"
"You're too cute," he snorted.
"You walked right into that one!" I laughed, propping myself up on my elbow.
"You know what I meant," he said, sitting up, placing a kiss on my lips. "You think you're hilarious, don't you?"
"I am hilarious-"
The phone on the desk chimed aloud, making us both jump.
"I thought I turned that off," he said, kicking off the covers. He picked up the phone and I saw his posture stiffen. "Dani, get your clothes on."
"What? What's happening?" I asked as there was a loud knock on my front door.
"A warning," he said, pulling his t-shirt on over his head.
I flipped on the lamp and grabbed a pair of my pajama pants off the floor, wishing I had my bra on under my top already.
"Captain?" A voice came from the other side of the door.
"Just a second!" Steve called as I struggled into get dressed. He opened the door and a non-descript white man in a suit and trench coat stood there.
I got the chills.
"Aren't you going to invite me in?"
I swallowed and Steve looked over at me and a gust of cold wind came through the door, making me shiver.
He stepped inside despite my silence.
"Nice set up you have here," the man said.
"Did Fury send you?" Steve asked, coming over to where I was standing, placing his hands on my shoulders.
"He did."
"I'm not on call, why are you here in my private, personal time?" Steve demanded.
"I'm not here for you, Captain Rogers, I'm here for Miss Conyers."
I swallowed as he took a seat at my desk as if he owned the place.
"It's come to our attention how much time Captain Rogers has been spending here in DC in the last month, especially now that he's not staying in hotels or military barracks."
"That's nobody's business," I said.
"True, but what is our business is that a civilian being around a member of the Avengers Initiative can result in an inadvertent slip of information. You might amass confidential knowledge that could be a liability for S.H.I.E.L.D. and for your safety," he said, reaching into his trench coat. He pulled out some papers that resembled a contract. "This is why we're offering you the help of resetting your memory if this were to happen. You see, Captain Rogers, Miss Conyers could be a liability if it your identity were revealed, she'd be linked to you. We're being generous here: memory resets are expensive, but we're willing to absorb the cost."
"The cost?" I repeated, stunned. S.H.I.E.L.D. Did scientific things that the public hardly knew about. They could removed minuscule amounts of information from my memory so I didn't remember horrible moments? I wondered if they could erase the more humiliating moments of my eating disorder and past relationship.
"We're not interested," Steve said harshly.
"Steve, please," I said. "Is it safe?"
"No!" Steve barked as the agent said, "of course!"
"We'll keep the paperwork and read for ourselves and decide if she's going to sign it," Steve said.
"It's perfectly safe."
"Test subjects have had some permanent brain damage, and you know it," Steve said. "We're not agreeing to anything. Especially not at one on the morning."
"Just keep in mind, Captain Rogers…" he said pointedly, getting up from the desk chair, taking the paper documents with him. "S.H.I.E.L.D. has enemies. So by extension, so do you. HYDRA is still out there, maybe not as powerful as it once was, but it still has followers. They will uncover your identity, and when they do, Miss Conyers is in danger as well. We're the only thing that can protect her."
I felt a chill.