Hope you had a good week and Valentine's Day! I know my last few lemons suck, I'm going to work on those and rewrite them soon. I put some extra effort in on this one. I hope you enjoy!

After cashing my paycheck from the Starlight diner, I bought a train ticket to New York. Lourdes Marie was safe at Alissa and Joel's, and I had carefully packed the dress Nanny gave me in a suitcase so I could wear it in New York when we went out to dinner with Nia. My reasoning behind going to New York was two-fold: I had EMDR level 1 training and I wanted to see Steve, even though it had hardly been four days since we had gotten back from Nashville for Easter. We had parted after arriving at Ronald Reagan in DC, and he took a flight to New York, and I left to go directly to class. I wished we had had some time alone, but him meeting my family was past due, even though it ended with Lauren screaming obscenities and telling Steve and me that he'd cheat on me and be an asshole in time.

When I thought about it, maybe it was time I considered moving to New York to be close to him after graduation. I honestly considered that I would go back to Nashville and get my license in Tennessee when I was done with school but life was changing for me since the moment Steve had caught my clumsy ass in that gar bar. I had to break it to my family eventually, that I wouldn't be returning to Tennessee. Life with Steve just seemed… inevitable. Granted, there were plenty of cheap flights from Nashville to New York, just as many as from DC to Nashville. They'd be sad, but eventually, things would be fine.

But I personally wished Lauren would just open up to me about what was happened with her and Russell. I had training in this. It was obvious to everyone that things were not good.

Steve was on-call this weekend, but the international things were pretty cooled off lately. He probably wasn't going to be called out, he promised me.

I grabbed my suitcase off the rack, and it almost took the wind out of me pulling it down, even though it only contained Nanny's red dress. For some reason, my muscles weren't nearly as strong as I was used to since the trip to Nashville. My allergies drove me insane lately. I hoped I'd get a reprieve from them in New York City. I was going to have to ask Daddy if I could go to an allergist in DC on his insurance… if I had time between work and school. I was getting all-over body aches, and what I thought was 'Mittleschmirtz', getting cramps between periods. I briefly wondered if I had gotten an ovarian cyst and if this was Lauren put up with all the time. Ibuprofen and Tylenol helped.

Steve was waiting for me when I got off the train.

"Hi, honey," he said, scooping me up in his arms to hug me.

"It's good to see you," I wheezed.

"I wish I could say the same thing, but you have no idea how much the whole team has been busting my chops."

"That has to do with me?" I asked, mock-offended.

"Okay, I'm kidding, I'm happy to see you. But somehow Tony and the guys found I'm in love with you. I will never hear the end of it," he grumbled.

I burst out laughing, which only triggered a coughing fit. "What happened?"
"They end every call with 'I love you, Cap!' And every time I get a message from you, they cat-call me. I laughed along with them at first, but now they won't quit."

I laughed even harder imagining Tony Stark and Bruce Banner teasing him and coughed my head off. And even Clint Barton, the stony, brooding archer.

"You seem a little winded," he noted.

"Yeah. Damn allergies. The decongestants aren't doing enough," I said, sniffling. "You don't know how tickled I am that you're catching crap from them over me."

"Let me get your bags," he said, taking them from me. "Come on."

We took a cab to Brooklyn and my nose was so clogged when I got up to his apartment, he ran a hot bath for me and got me a few fingers of whiskey.

"Ma used to give me whiskey half-shots when my allergies got worse," he said. "Go on, take that bath, it'll help with your sinuses."

I soaked in the bathtub with some epsom salts and pressed a hot soaked washcloth to my nose. I groaned in satisfaction as the stuffiness abated and I was able to breathe again.

"Feeling better?" Steve asked, knocking on the bathroom door.

"Yes," I admitted. "Come in. I don't know why spring allergies have gotten me so badly this year. It's like I suddenly got the worst allergies ever."

"I know what that's like," he said, coming into the bathroom with a mug of tea for me. "I remember cringeing at the blooms on the trees."

I took a sip of the tea: he had made a hot toddy for me. "It's like Mother Nature has it in for me."

He kissed my temple. "Maybe it'll get better while you're here in New York."

"I hope so," I muttered. "I better be feeling better by tomorrow morning. Oh, do you have any Tylenol?"

"Uh, no, but I can go get some. The whiskey oughta do the trick for your throat."

"It's not that."

"What is it?"

I didn't want to bring up my period and cycle and explaining Mittleschmirtz. "Never mind."

"Do you want me to wash your hair?"

"Would you, please?"

After he washed my hair for me, Steve had a mountain of pillows waiting for me on the bed. I slept partially sitting up. In the middle of the night, I woke up with my throat burning from the nasal drip and having to mouth-breathe. My sinuses had closed up again and my nose was running all kinds of snot like a faucet and the Mittleschmirtz or the cyst were bothering the hell out of me. I limped into the bathroom wet down a washcloth with hot water to press to my sinuses in hope of some relief, but the steam made me woozy. My body wavered to the side, and I found the tiled floor coming up to meet my face, and I braced myself just in time.

"Dani?" Steve cried.

I groaned. "Ugh! Steve? I'm in the bathroom, 'm okay."

"Can I come in?"

"Uh, yeah."

"Did you pass out?" he asked, picking me up off the floor. "I'm getting that medicine for you- there's a twenty-four hour pharmacy a few blocks away-"

"Baby, no," I groaned as he carried me back to bed. "It's just a really bad cold."

"Not the flu?"

"No, I had my flu shot this year. But can you get some ibuprofen?"

"You're still in pain?"

"It's… okay, it's lady problems."

"Oh." Steve tucked me back into the bed. "Stay here, what is it I needed to get from your things?"

"I have some Zyrtec," I said. I had found a cheap, generic Zyrtec on Amazon, and that was about all I could afford with all the time I had taken off lately.

"Mucinex did the best, I'm calling the pharmacy," he said, coming back into the room with more whiskey. "This'll have to do for now."

"Thank you. I love you." I tossed back the whiskey and closed my eyes. I dozed off, but right as I was settling into sleep, the door buzzed, and I sat up. Steve answered it and came back with a glass of water and a Mucinex blister package, getting a tablet out for me and a few ibuprofen tablets.

"You're good to me," I admitted, downing the expensive medication. He wet down the washcloth in the bathroom again for me.

"I hope you feel better soon. Now get some sleep," he pressed the cold, wet washcloth to my forehead, and I sighed in relief.

In the morning, the alarm rang too soon.

"Come on, you've got training," Steve said, getting up. "I'll make breakfast for you?"

"Okay," I muttered. I felt a little light-headed, but I could breathe through my sinuses again, but the cramps were returning. "The Mucinex worked."

"Good," he said. "How's the other stuff? Is it feeling better?"

"The period stuff?"

"Yeah."

"It's still bugging me."

"How does a boiled egg, some canned fruit, and coffee sound with some ibuprofen?"

"Great."

I dressed for the EMDR conference and put on my makeup while Steve made breakfast. I was feeling better. A lot better. Maybe I needed to invest in Mucinex, even though it was expensive. Maybe this was a springtime cold, not allergies, and I just wasn't treating it properly. There was a chance I had a sinus infection, the area around my eyes and the bridge of my nose was swollen, my nose bright red.

I checked my phone, and I had a text from Pepper.

Hey, I heard you're in town, wanna grab some lunch?

I grinned to myself. I'd love to, if you don't mind somebody sick. I texted back.

I don't mind at all. I'll bring the hand sanitizer.

"Breakfast is ready," Steve called.

"Be right there," I replied.

The EMDR conference was interesting, and I loved it, having done it in the past myself. Pepper was kind enough to meet me for lunch in the hotel lobby. "I'd hug you, but I don't want to get what you have," she said. "You look like you've got a sinus infection."

"I'm wondering if that what this is," I said.

"You need to see a doctor. But lunch, first. I know a great little bistro around the corner with an amazing avocado citrus cobb salad, perfect for a dose of vitamin C."

"That sounds great," I admitted, grabbing a few tissues from the box on the concierge desk in the lobby. "Okay, so Tony and the team are teasing Steve non-stop about being in love with me. Did you tell him anything?"

Pepper smirked. "I might have let it slip," she said. "So tell me about EMDR."

I found myself dominating the conversation at lunch about how much I had learned about EMDR.

"I'm sorry, I'm doing all the talking," I apologized.

"No, you're just passionate about it all. I think the military needs more people like you who care and want to help them with things like PTSD. Tony made weapons of war for a long time, but now, we have to worry about the effects of war because the VA never kept up with the demands after the gulf war and Iraqi freedom. It's going to be up to the private sector to make up for it, and I want to make sure there are good psychologists like you who actually care about what you're doing."

"I've got a ways to go," I chortled, taking a gulp of my ice water to cool my throat.

"I spoke to the General Holmwood, he's putting in a good word for you at the mental health division of the VA for when you graduate if you don't end up with Stark Enterprises."

"Oh, that is such a great help, Pepper, thank you," I gushed.

"I get it. I'm just glad you care so much. You know, my father struggled with mental health after he served in Vietnam, but he was too proud to go to a good therapist. I really have high hopes for you."

"It means a lot to me to have job options right out of school," I said. "You're really amazing."

"No, I think you are," she said. "I think good things are going to happen for you."

"I hope so," I said. "I think my family's weird about me and Steve. Steve, for the most part, made a good impression, but we can't answer stuff like when he went to basic and how old he is. That just puts my father on edge."

"He sounds like a dad who loves you a lot," she said, looking wistful. "What are you doing tonight?"

"Steve and I wanted to go to dinner together and just have some alone time. Tomorrow night, we agreed to go out with with Nia and her boyfriend. She's dating one of the partner's sons, who's in Columbia Law School, can you believe that?"

"Well, you said she was really something as a paralegal," Pepper said. "And who'd pass up a Rockette?"
"Right?" I looked down at my salad and I hadn't even made a dent in in it. "I'm gonna eat this, I promise."

"No worries. Eat what you can, I can send a friend of mine over, he's an NP and assists Tony's doctor, when he's not too full of himself to go."
"I'm fine," I said. "There's a medical office at GWU I can go to for free."

"No, this is bad, you need some medical intervention."

"Thanks," I admitted.

As Pepper insisted on getting the bill (I could hardly argue since the salad was twenty-five dollars), I got those weird, creepy full-body gassy cramps again, and one shot up my back and up to my neck. I excused myself to the bathroom.

Pepper and I said good-bye a little while later and I went back to my conference, feeling a little better.

"Hi, sweetheart," Steve said as I opened the door. A man was sitting on the couch beside him. "We've got a guest, who was asking for you?"

"Hi," I said. "Hi, I'm Danielle Conyers."

"Robert Haus, RN, BSN, FNP?" the man said, standing up.

"Hi," I said, shaking his hand. "Pepper sent you?"

"Yes, that's right," he said, handing me a business card. "She says you've got allergies or a nasty cold?"

"Yeah, I do."

"I can go down the street if you need a few minutes alone for an exam?" Steve asked.

"You can stay," I said.

Rob Haus asked a few questions about how my health and my symptoms and my health history, and used this stethoscope to listen to my lungs and heartbeat. "This sounds like a really nice cold, coupled with allergies and some stress-related heartburn. Mucinex was a good choice. Keep that up, use some Flo-nase, Zyrtec, and keep the fluids coming and Prilosec daily until the semester's over. No more hot toddies, though. If symptoms persist for another week, it's probably morphed into a sinus infection and you need to go back to a doctor to be seen for it. And the heartburn might be GERD if the Prilosec doesn't make a difference."

"So much medication," I groaned.

"Stress does that to a person," he agreed. "It's time to get going, though."

"You can't stay for a drink?" Steve asked.

"No, I've got an appointment," Robert said. "It was nice meeting you both."

After he left, Steve ordered the over the counter medications from the pharmacy.

"How was was the seminar?" Steve asked, bringing over a glass of water an another dose of Mucinex.

"It was fun to learn. But it was mentally taxing," I admitted.

"Are you feeling better?"

"The Mucinex is making a difference, but my God, I think I ate something weird," I admitted. He had gone out to the fire escape for a few minutes while I talked about the symptoms. "How much do you want to hear?"

"Like…"

"Like bathroom stuff."

"Oh, no thanks."

"I'm going to take a shower before dinner," I said. I went to the bathroom and tried to fart out all this excess gas that was cramping my system while he went to get my prescriptions. I found myself spotting, which I thought was weird, since my period was due in a few days, and it didn't usually start this way. Plan B usually had the side effect of messing up your period start dates for a few months, but this explained all the gas and cramping as PMS symptoms. I took an extra dose of ibuprofen and came out of the bathroom wearing the polyester silk robe I kept at his place over my bra, panties, and Spanx.

He was dressed in a button-up shirt and jacket and his cologne smelled incredible. I almost melted at the scent. "Guess what I got?" Steve asked, holding up a paper sack for me.

He had a starting dose of all the medications and a glass of water. "I love you!" I cried.

I found I had my appetite back, but I was getting sleepy, probably from all the effort of coughing and mouth breathing from the swelling in my sinuses. We had a Portuguese food, which was delicious, but I didn't drink any wine. After dinner, Steve brought me home.

"You're sure you didn't have anything to drink?"

"I didn't, I swear," I laughed, lagging behind as he tugged me along by hand. "I didn't want the alcohol mixing with the Mucinex."

"You know I had plans for you, right?"
"No," I laughed. "Oh Steve," I sighed. "I wish last weekend had gone better in Nashville."

"It did go well," he said. "I had a great time meeting your family. I like Nashville, it's a fun city."
"You only scratched the surface," I said and he slipped his arms around me and hugged me hard enough to lift my feet up off the ground. I slipped arm around his neck to hold onto him and he climbed the steps up to his apartment before setting me down to scan his tenant badge to get the door to open. We started up the stairs, but I got winded.

"I gotcha." Steve picked me up, bridal style, and carried me up the steps.

"A girl could get used to this," I remarked.

"I'll do this for you forever," he promised. He set me down on the doormat so he could unlock the door. He kissed my shoulder and the door swung open. I went to step inside, and Steve's arms slipped around my middle. "You looked so beautiful tonight. This dress was meant for you." I closed my eyes and enjoyed his lips against my skin. "Everybody was watching you the moment you walked in."

He scooped me up into his arms so quickly, I hardly had time to adjust. I was carried into the apartment like a bride and he took me into the bedroom.

"Steve," I sighed.

"Let me undress you," he said softly.

I felt my whole body go stiff. "Oh no," I said.

"What is it?" he asked, his hand tapping along my side to the zipper under my arm.

"Steve, let me just- I need a moment," I said, thinking of the ugly Spanx I had on under the dress. This dress couldn't be worn without them, the waist was so narrow. He yanked the zipper down.

"Come on, I've seen you- what the hell is this?" he asked his fingertips grazing the Spanx material.

I blushed and started laughing. "I'm wearing Spanx."

"What is that?" he asked.

"It's like… a girdle. You don't wear a dress like this without something to pull your waist in."

"I… you women are a mystery," he laughed. "Come on, let's get you out of these, they can't be comfortable."

"They're not," I agreed.

He helped me out of the dress and we peeled off the body contouring undergarment, and I sighed in relief as he got them off of me. "I'm letting it all hang out," I sighed, relieved, sitting down on the bed, unhooking the straps on my shoes. He took off his belt and unbuttoned his shirt to lay down beside me on the bed. I turned on the lamp and laid down beside in nothing but my underwear.

"I like you this way," Steve said. "No illusions. Just you."

"Spanx are an illusion?" I asked.

"Yeah. You're beautiful right now."

"I thought you said I was beautiful at dinner."

"You are. But this is different," he ran the back of his fingers along my collarbone. "You're beautiful in a way I don't want anybody else seeing right now." His fingers ran up to my cheek, and I closed my eyes, enjoying his touch. "Are you feeling better?"

"A lot better," I agreed, opening my eyes. "But I started."

He nodded, understanding. "Okay. If you don't want to…"

"There are still things we can do."

He cupped my cheek, and we kissed passionately, I could feel the swelling in his pants against my leg. I cracked my eyes open to see that his eyes were shut, he was enjoying this. I slipping my hand down those six pack abs to cup him. His blue eyes flew open and he grunted into the kiss. I pulled away. "I'll take care of it," I whispered, planting soft kisses along his chin, along his jaw. I rubbed gently on his cock through his pants, his head leaned out, mouth open, trying to breathe.

"Oh, God… oh, Dani."

"I got it, baby," I muttered into his ear, unbuttoning the top button of his pants. His warm hands greedily squeezed my butt cheeks, pushing my underwear down, and his fingers got dangerously close to my back entrance. "Mmm," I whispered. I wriggled my butt into his grip, as much as butt stuff had a stigma for straight girls, the idea of him taking me from the back aroused me, but we hadn't talked about it yet. I reached down, unzipping his dark trousers, and I saw his shorts straining. I slipped my fingers under the waistband and pulled them down, his erect cock popping out with a groan. I had seen it before, but everytime, it was so beautiful it took my breath away. His eyes were glassy, stuck on the ceiling. At this point, my hand slid down it out of habit. I saw his muscles clench. We were familiar lovers, now, we knew each other's ticks. I kissed down his chest, stopping occasionally to lick certain lines and planes that appeared from his muscles under his taut skin. I had discovered a while back that he was one of his most sensitive spots. I ran my free hand along his floating rib to see if I could get a reaction between kisses. It made him shiver. I had quick fantasies of period sex, but he had his hang ups about it.

"I love you so much," he whispered.

I pumped with my opposite hands around his cock and licked a stripe up the underside. He made noises of ecstasy. I was ready for it. I took the head in past my lips. I licked around in a circle, teasing the tiny hole with my tongue tasting the precum, then pushed my head down to take the rest of the length into my mouth to the back of my throat. I felt him hit the back of my mouth, humming so he could feel it, I got a response from him. I held him down until I started gagging. He chanted my name slowly until I got him to climax, keeping the head of his cock in my mouth as he spurted the bitter, salty, hot liquid, his cries mingling in my ears.

We sat there, completely still, him catching his breath, he reached over to the bedside table to get a tissue for me. He stroked my hair, looking down at me, lovingly, as I did the gross task of spitting out his wad and wiping my tongue off.

"I'm being so attractive," I admitted, pretty much licking the tissue.

"What?"

"The post-blow-job act of cleaning up," I admitted, folding up the tissue. "Ugh." I kissed his happy trail and pushed up with my free arm to get up off the bed to throw away the tissue in the bathroom.

"You're cute to me," he said. I heard the bed creaking and saw him sitting up to take off the rest of his clothes. "Want to take a shower together?"

"Sure."

After our shower (even though we didn't have sex, we had a conversation about the rest of my semester with school, we got ready for bed. When Steve had brushed his teeth and left me in the bathroom, I checked my tampon. It was clear white. It turned out my period had faked me out.

I didn't sleep well, despite the Mucinex and ibuprofen I took to help with the Mittleschmirtz. I kept on fearing I had started my period again. Steve would be traumatized if he woke up in a CSI crime scene with me in the morning, I didn't want to put him through that.

My last day of EMDR training went well, except I got lightheaded on the walk from the subway. Luckily, they had fresh coffee waiting. The ibuprofen wasn't that effective, I had to take it repeatedly.

Steve and I met Nia and Creighton at a farm-to-table restaurant in Brooklyn. I wore the same dress again, and I felt beautiful. Steve loved it on me. She was glowing, and completely in crazy about Creighton, the part- Jewish son of her boss. He was crazy about her, and looked at her like the greatest thing that ever happened to him. Creighton was so smart, and I loved talking to him.

"You know what I want to do now," Nia said, as Creighton and Steve argued about who was going to get the check.

"Oh girl," I muttered.

"I know you've been sick, but please?" she pleaded.

I grinned to myself. "Oh, twist my arm," I replied.

Nia squealed and clapped. "I know just the place!"

Creighton hailed a cab after dinner. "So where are you taking us?" Steve asked.

"We're going to the Junk Yard," Nia said.

"The Junk Yard?" I repeated, arching an eyebrow.

"Sounds like a monster truck rally," Steve said.

"It's not, I swear," Nia said.

"It's fun. I get hit on occasionally, but I don't mind the free drinks," Creighton said.

The bar had a line outside of it, but Nia was able to walk us up to the bouncer. "Hey, Nia, good to see you! Creighton, man, what's up?"

"These are my friends, Steve and Dani," Nia said. "We came here to dance."

"Come on in," he said, unhooking the chain for us.

Inside the bar, my dizziness felt like a drug, the bass line of the EDM thumping. "Can you get me a cranberry and soda?" I asked Steve.

"I'll be at the bar," he said.

"You'll be dancing, right?" Nia asked as we went down the stairs.

In the basement, the club was rocking.

Nia and I went to the dance floor, and Creighton followed, proving he was a great dancer as we got out.

It felt like old times, but then I got those weird cramps again.

"You okay?" Nia mouthed over the music, grabbing my arm.

"Bathroom," I shouted over the music.

In the unisex bathroom, I peed, and discovered my period had started again, a lot harder this time. Damn it, I didn't even have a tampon and there was no tampon machine in the unisex bathroom.

I went back out onto the dance floor and tapped Nia to see if she had a tampon or something in her purse. "I got you, fam," she said, digging around in her clutch, and slipping one to me.

I had not anticipated getting my period. One more trip to the pharmacy tonight. I knew I'd be wracked with cramps in a short time, too. I tracked it back to when I took the Plan B pill in Monaco: it ws really screwing with my cycle. I knew I had had a good time with Nia, but the night was going to be cut short.

At the bar, I looked for Steve, and I didn't see him. I went to Nia to let her know I was ducking out, since I had just started and to give her a hug goodbye. She pouted a little. "It was good to see you," she said, and hugged me.

"You too," I admitted.

I went back to the bar to see if anybody had seen Steve. "Oh, I saw him," the bartender said. "He went out the back entrance to the alley. Somebody needed help with a tire change."
Of course. I smiled to myself.

"See the exit sign? It's a staircase to the back alley, there's parking lot there."

"Thanks," I said, and cross the dance floor again.

Up the stairwell (it smelled like pee, I didn't touch anything), I found the door to the parking lot. There was a chain link fence, I had to round it. I saw Steve's blond head and broad shoulders, and someone was talking to him. It was a pay-to-park parking lot, and of course, Steve was being the Boy Scout, helping someone in need-

I saw Steve's conversation partner lean over and kiss him.

This was a guy.

Kissing him.

I stood there, stunned and frozen for a moment.

Steve pressed a hand to his chest and pushed him back, gently. But he was kissing him back.

"Hey, look, I'm not…" I heard him say softly. He didn't try to punch him out or even yell at him. He was being sweet. Letting this guy down easy.

"I thought you helped with the tire because you were interested in going home with me" the guy admitted to Steve. "Oh my God, I'm so embarrassed-"

"No, it's not… I didn't mean to lead you on," Steve said. My nausea spiked in my stomach, and I almost heaved up dinner right there.

"Oh my God, you were giving off all the signals."

"Well," Steve chortled nervously. "Don't be embarrassed, I'm not going to say anything."

"Steve?" I asked. He whirled around, surprised. I stood there, stunned, shocked, so many disgusting feelings roiling my stomach.

"Dani?" he asked, looking like deer in the headlights.

"Oh," the little skinny guy said. "Well, this is awkward."

"Dani, I was just trying to help him out," Steve said, I could see his cheeks flushing.

"This… something isn't adding up," I said. "Oh my God…" I felt dizzy. "I'm gonna puke."

I took a few steps back towards the club before I felt the heaves happening. I braced myself against a car and the contents of my stomach came up on the gravel.

"Dani?" I felt Steve's hand on my shoulder.

"Don't touch me!" I shouted, feeling tears finally pricking my eyes. I swatted his hand away.

"I didn't-"

"You kissed somebody else!" I shouted.

"I didn't!" he cried, horrified. "I didn't kiss him! He assumed- I didn't-"

"You kissed him back!" I cried.

"That's- it's not- it was a mistake, it's not what you think!" he pleaded.

Of course.

Too much was connecting in my mind.

He was into art. And porn grossed him out. I met him in a goddamned gay bar. He knew what drag queens were, despite being from the 1940s when the gay community was hidden and underground. He knew where all the gar bars had been in the 40s. No wonder he always wore tight t-shirts. And always dressed so cleanly and preppy. And so smart and well-read. He didn't want people thinking of me fucking him and doing dirty things… but was it really he didn't imagine himself with a woman? He was beautiful, sculpted, the perfect body, he had been in a rush to marry me in Monaco as if he had something to prove...

"You're gay."

The words were so soft they didn't even echo in the alley as they came out of my mouth.

"I'm not a gay!" Steve cried, horrified. "Dani, why would you even think that, I wasn't- I didn't do anything, this is all just a giant misunderstanding!"

"You kissed him back," I said, the tears leaking out of my eyes.

He spoke about his friend Bucky from the forties eloquently, emotionally… had he been lovers with Bucky? Oh my God… He had said he had never been with a woman before me. Did that mean… did that mean he had had been with men? Had he been trying to prove heteronormal after being in cryo so he could escape the gay stigma from the 40s and that's why he pursued me? "That was an accident!" he cried.

"I don't… Have you been lying to me?" I asked, my first sob coming out of my mouth. I wasn't sure what hurt worse: that he lied or that he was gay.

"No, I've never lied to you, Danielle!"

Nia swore he was gay when she first met him in person. My whole body heaved, and I wasn't sure if it was vomit or sobbing. I had come up with the story that he had another lover in the city before I found out he was Captain America. What if I had been right? What if there was a man… multiple men? That he made love with… or fucked… when I wasn't in town. He never fucked me. We always made love and it was never hard or frantic to placate needs. He was always telling me how to speak, he didn't want me cursing or taking my bikini top off at the beaches in Monaco. He was shaping me all this time. Was I beard? So he could pretend to be straight in public? "I'd ask you tell me the truth," I gasped between sobs. "But I don't know if I'd believe a word that came out of your mouth now."

"Honey-"

"Leave me alone," I said, and turned to go back into the bar to get out to the front entrance. Steve chased after me, and grabbed me by the shoulders, turning me around. "Danielle, listen to me. You are the only woman- person I've ever loved. Look me in the eye."

I could hardly lift my eyes, it hurt so bad.

"Steve-"

"I love you."

"I love you too, but it feels like… I feel like you never have."

"That's not true!"

"I don't know that it is! Tell me the truth, Steve! You kissed him back! You were disgusted and you didn't get defensive! Why?"

He was silent for a long time, and looked away from me. "I don't know."

"Steve, let me go," I pleaded.

And he did.

So I've been hinting at Steve's sexuality this whole time. I'll explain why I did this later at the end. I am done with this, will update soon.