02/08/2019

Got 2 chapters posted tonight – enjoy and let me know what you think!

So here I am with the biggest dilemma of the day – Boston cream, maple glazed, or pumpkin spice? Of course I'm talking about what Tasty Pastry doughnut I'm going to order. Who am I kidding, I want them all. My ass, on the other hand, doesn't need them all. So with a heavy sigh I get the Boston cream and savor every morsel.

In a markedly better mood because of the doughnut, I figured I better check in at the Bonds Office, especially since my failed attempt at Betty Busters is going to piss Vinnie off big time. Not that I really care about Vinnie, but I want to see if Connie has any more leads on her whereabouts.

"Hey girl," Lula said when I entered the office. "What's new? And why does your skin look so red? It can't be a sunburn on account of it's October." "Not important," I said. No way was I admitting the Jello incident to anyone. It was bad enough that Ranger saw me. How would I ever live that one down? Actually, I think Ranger probably enjoyed it. He'll probably insist I give him a live reenactment. The mere thought made my toes curl with desire. "Hmph," Lula said, annoyed that I wouldn't tell her what happened.

"Hey Connie," I said, quickly changing the subject. "Do you have another address for Betty Busters? I can't seem to get a handle on her." Poor choice of words. Both Connie and Lula were staring at me. They were putting two and two together, and it was as if I could see their minds slowly putting the puzzle together. "Oh my God," they both said in unison. "It wasn't my fault," I said. "You wrestled that FTA didn't you," Lula said, tears streaming down her face she was laughing so hard. Connie snorted and they both laughed even harder. "Get it all out," I said. "Am I the only one who didn't know she was a state champ?" "Pretty much," Lula said. "They had a parade for her and everything."

Connie passed me an address on a piece of paper. "Here, try this address," she said. "If you're lucky you will catch her before she makes you go for the best of two out of three." I rolled my eyes so hard I think I may have knocked something loose up there. "Lula, are you coming?" I asked. "Sure, let me just grab my camera and I'll be right behind you. I'm not missing this one." I'm channeling my inner Ranger and laughing on the inside.

Twenty minutes later we were parked down the street from a run-down apartment building a block away from Stark Street. "You sure you have the right address?" Lula asked. "I wouldn't think someone as famous as Betty would hang out in a place like this." "Yep," I said. "It's the one Connie gave me." While I didn't think Betty was especially dangerous, we weren't in the best part of town. In fact, we were close to the worst part of town. Gang killings and violent crimes were just everyday occurrences for the occupants of Stark.

Betty had been arrested for involuntary manslaughter and Vinnie had posted her bail. She was "entertaining" an older gentleman who apparently had a massive heart attack and died while Betty was smothering him into her enormous breasts. Guess she has other talents besides wrestling. The medical examiner said the man's heart attack was caused by lack of oxygen and too much excitement. Too bad his other brain was doing all the thinking.

"Ok," I said. "Here's what's going to happen. She's already seen my face so you are going to knock on her door while I wait by the car. Tell her that she's won an award for all of her wrestling championships and you need her to come to the car to sign for it. When she gets to the car, we'll simply encourage her to come with us to get re-bonded." "Ok, but aren't we going to unnecessary lengths? Can't we just shoot her or stun her instead and drag her ass to the car?" Lula said. "No shooting," I said. I pretty much have to remind Lula about this on a daily basis. "We'll try it your way," Lula said, "but don't say I wasn't against this from the beginning."

Lula sashayed out of the car and went to the door. She knocked. No answer. She knocked again. Still no answer. Lula knocked again, and my phone rang. It was Ranger. "My men tell me you are parked by Stark Street," Ranger said. "That's not the best part of town." "I'm fine," I said. "Lula and I are going after an FTA." "The Jello lady?" Ranger asked. "Yep," I said. "How's everything going with you?" I asked. "I just drove 10 hours straight and will probably be up half the night, but hopefully we can get this business taken care of and get home," Ranger said. "Here's hoping," I said. "Babe," Ranger said. And he disconnected.

Lula knocked again for what seemed like 5 minutes straight and the door was suddenly wrenched open and Lula was pulled inside. Crap! I ran out of the car and peeked in the front window and saw Lula sitting on top of Betty in a pool of – yep, you guessed it – strawberry Jello. "Well," I thought, "looks like Lula is now the new reigning champ." Who knew.

We got Betty into the car and got Lula toweled off. We dropped Betty off at the police station and headed back to the Bonds Office to get my capture money. "I'm done for the day," I said. "I'm going to drop you at the office and then I'm headed home." "Works for me," Lula said. "I worked up an appetite doing all that wrestling. I'm gonna get me a bucket of chicken and veg out on the couch." Lula's plan sounded pretty good to me.

After I dropped Lula off, I stopped by Pino's and picked up a meatball sub and a 6 pack of beer. I was going to eat and veg out on my couch too. I rolled into the lot of my apartment building just before dark and took the stairs to the second floor.

I put my key into the lock when something caught my eye in front of my door. An abnormally large and dead as a doornail mouse – ewww! It was belly up and looked like it had been dropped or maybe thrown because it was flat and broken. Well I can't wait to chow down on my meatball sub after seeing that! I called Dylan, our building super, and asked if he could come remove it for me. I closed my eyes and jumped over the mouse and slammed my door shut and threw the bolt. I go after big bad guys all the time, but at my core, I'm a wimpy girl. So sue me.

I was changing into my sweats when something dawned on me and the hairs on the back of my neck stood up. The prank phone call I received earlier said something about finding a mouse to get the cheese. Is it related? Weird coincidence? I knew Ranger was stressed about his mission and he sounded so exhausted on the phone earlier so I didn't want to bother him with another problem that will surely turn out to be nothing. If one more thing like this happens, I thought, I'll tell Ranger.

Boy was I unaware of just how dangerous a game we both were about to be forced to play.