She awoke the next morning to a glaring light. It took her a moment to realize it was the sun, coming through the window. She groaned as she turned over to see what time it was...
She regretted it. Ugh...
Everything was sore. Her head was throbbing. Her neck and arms protested whenever she attempted to stretch them above her head. Her legs were stiff when she shifted them beneath the blankets. And her...oh...Oh!
Immediately, she was wide awake as the events of the previous night came back to her...
She groaned softly and closed her eyes as she remembered, a small smile settling on her lips. Pulling the sheet up to her chin, she glanced over to the opposite side of the bed.
It was unoccupied.
What a wild, mad night!
After their frenzied...encounter on the couch, they both had stilled. Panting. His eyes locked on hers. And she had waited breathlessly for what was to come next. She knew that it wasn't over; he wasn't done with her. She could feel the evidence of that, still burrowed inside of her. And despite her own fulfillment, she ached for him. She still wanted to be swallowed up in him while their bodies moved together.
As if he could read her mind, he reached down, scooping her up close to his body, eyes still on her face. She expected him to lift her into his arms, to kiss her...When he made no move to kiss her, she lifted her arms to wrap them around his neck. Gripped his hair; attempted to pull his beautiful lips down to hers. He didn't budge. She frowned before pressing him harder, shifting her body slightly and causing a delicious friction where their bodies were still connected. She sighed and shifted again. He continued to take in her face, though when she moved the second time his eyes closed briefly.
His hand moved to her face, stroking her cheek. "And I thought I knew you so well..." He said it in a way that made her think that he wasn't speaking to her. A small grin had settled on his lips. He leaned down, his lips almost touching hers. "You amaze me, Ms. O'Hara."
She felt the beginnings of a blush but before she could think much more about it, his lips had softly touched hers again. Unlike moments before, there was no desperation. This was not a chaotic meeting of mouths. He was kissing her slowly, almost gently. His tongue teased her lips and she gladly parted them, even when he didn't claim her mouth. The deliciously slow movement of his lips made her head buzz, making her feel that she really was losing her mind. Desire pulsed through her body. "Sweet…" he murmured. He shocked her then by scooping her up into his arms, without breaking their connection, and heading towards the bedroom.
He had settled her onto the bed and possessively traced every angle of her body with confident hands. Even before his mouth touched her skin again, she was trembling with need. His lips followed the same paths as his hands had, touching her inch by inch before finally -finally!- settling between her quivering knees.
She knew that she was speaking and she didn't hear the words as they left her lips. Didn't hear them but felt them. Knew them. I need you. I've want this for so long. Don't ever stop. I-I-
She fell apart with his mouth still on her.
He had taken her again. This time exquisitely slow. Had whispered things in her ear as he glided with her; some things she couldn't recall but that had made her gasp and move with his body. But when they had again collapsed over the edge just moments apart, the three words that had escaped his lips were undeniable.
I love you. Rhett...loved her. At least, he had said that he did. A smile still decorated her face as she colored at the memory and she couldn't stifle a ridiculous sounding giggle that bubbled up in her throat. She couldn't understand her feelings concerning this revelation, so foreign was the concept. To be honest, she hadn't known that he was capable of such affection. If he did love her-What a strange and exhilarating thought that he loved her!-she was going to have so much fun holding that over his head.
Not that she would ridicule him, like a school girl. Haha, Rhett loves Scarlett! Nanananbooboo! No. But now she knew how badly he wanted her and loved her, and so she had him at last. In the past she had been forced to endure his abuse and derision, and now? Now she knew his weakness...
And the events of last night would definitely never happen again if his attitude didn't change. The idea of a repeat of the night before sent a delicious shiver down her spine. Would last night happen again? I sure as hell hope so! And that kind of worried her too. She bit her lip.
For a moment, she wished that he was still in bed next to her. She wouldn't have minded a morning romp in the slightest. But she couldn't face him just yet. Not with all the confusion in her head. She needed a moment to take all this in. She needed to know what to say when he walked back into this room. She couldn't show him that she was so...affected.
She couldn't let him know that he had altered her world the night before.
Her stomach clenched as she dwelled on how true that was. She had been given nourishment for the first time in her existence. When a baby is born, they are hungry but they don't understand that hunger until they have satisfied it. Then...they are a slave to it. Well, her hunger had been satisfied, alright. In fact, she had been downright glutinous. And still, more so than before, she craved it.
Craved him.
As soon as the thought entered her mind, she shook it away. She didn't crave him. Her eyes widened at the thought and she couldn't catch her breath. This could be bad, in more ways than one.
Because now she considered an alternative, that hadn't crossed her mind.
What if he had gotten his fill of her last night? Then what was she to do? What was she to do with this...ache? This need to be connected to him… She frowned, feeling a pang in her chest.
But if he hadn't...if he really did love her and felt like she did...then, regardless of how much she resisted him or tried to work all of this in her favor, all of this was going to happen again. The rush of anticipation she felt at knowing this made her shudder.
Yeah, this was bad. All around bad. Bad, if he wanted her. Bad, if he didn't. Because now? Either way? She wanted him again. Many times. Multiple times. It was going to make the whole hanging it over his head thing a little more difficult.
She slowly stood from the bed, not even bothering to cover herself. She walked naked across the room, knowing that he could walk in at any second. Hoping that he would…hating that she wished that he would.
He didn't. She walked to the door and peeked her head into the living room. He wasn't there. She didn't hear anyone in the kitchen either. He had obviously stepped out.
She decided to take a shower while she waited on him to come back, wondering how she would handle seeing him again. Last night, he had taken her and she had willingly given herself to him. Today, he was going to take her again...if she let him. She smiled, imagining Rhett walking in on her showering. He would immediately want her...reach for her. But she would make him wait. She would take that complimentary soap he had claimed to need so badly and smooth it over her body and make him watch. Make him beg.
But her vision never came to fruition. After her long and luxurious bath, he still had not returned.
She dressed in her clothes from last night. As she towel-dried sections of her hair, she went in search of her purse. She needed to check her phone. Perhaps he had left her some kind of message. He had told her that he wasn't in Atlanta solely for her and she didn't know his plans for today so maybe he had to leave early this morning.
But there was no message. No missed calls. She frowned, more disappointed then she wanted to admit. Upset by the fact that it was upsetting her so much because it was becoming clear that he...had kind of done exactly what she would have expected him to do. Before last night, that is. Before he had said...certain things.
She shook those feelings away, reminding herself that she didn't know what he had to do today. His life was his own. And she really didn't care, anyway.
She tucked the phone into her pocket before grabbing her purse, her stomach in a knot. Maybe she should-
No! She was not calling him! This was ridiculous. He had things to do and she had things to do too. Way more important things then contacting him. What was she doing again today? She was meeting Ashley-
Her face fell. Oh Ashley… She sunk down into the couch as reality hit her squarely in the stomach again. Oh, what had she done? How could she betray Ashley like this? The guilt was intense but right now she had too many other emotions to deal with. Her brain wasn't big enough to process all of this at once. She closed her eyes briefly and took a deep breath before glancing at the clock. She was going to have to shelf those feelings. For now, anyway. She was going to be late. I'll think about it tomorrow.
She had little more than an hour before she was suppose to meet Ashley. She hopped off the couch and her head pounded in protest. She would find an aspirin once she got to her room. She headed towards the door and noticed that an extra key for the hotel room was still nestled in a colorful envelope on the dining table. She picked it up on her way out, with little thought as to why she did.
When she reached her room, Scarlett quickly picked out a pair of jeans and a casual blouse. She dried her hair and curled a few strands around her face. Before she started throwing her make-up on, her phone had vibrated on the sink where she had laid it next to the curling iron. Dropping her eyeliner gracelessly, she eagerly reached for the device. She had wanted to slap herself when she felt disappointment that it was only Ashley.
Meeting at your dad's?
She affirmed their plans before finishing up and heading out the door. The phone, tucked in the front pocket of her jeans.
When she arrived at her Pa's house, everyone had already left for the day. Ashley hadn't arrived yet. He had messaged her on her way there to let her know he was going to be a little late. She immediately headed towards the kitchen and grabbed a granola bar from the pantry before heading into the small den just off the kitchen and settling into the plush couch in front of the TV.
Thumbing through all of the dramatic daytime TV, she finally settled on a rerun reality cooking show. The British host of the show was yelling at what looked to be several abashed chefs. She ate her granola bar slowly, checking her phone several times in between bites.
"Bloody hell...you're in denial! Wake up!" The man screamed, the subject of his frustration looking very uncomfortable. She checked her phone again.
She heard the front door open and knew that it was Ashley. She quickly tucked her phone back into her pocket as she heard him approach. He plopped down onto the sofa beside her with a satisfied sigh, taking in the show for a moment.
"I always thought he was so loud and obnoxious." He stated, crossing his legs.
Scarlett turned to him and smiled easily. "I like him."
He smiled too. "So does that mean we are doing this today?" He gestured towards the TV.
She leaned back into the couch, feeling the knot in her stomach ease for the first time that morning. This was why she loved him. She smiled. "Sounds like a great idea." She batted her eyelashes at him.
He eased back too, placing his hands behind his head. She giggled before batting at his leg and standing. He laughed too as he stood.
And her phone stayed in her pocket for a while.
They ended up choosing Mini-golf, and Scarlett was again reminded of yet another reason she loved Ashley: his eternal cheesiness. The way that he instructed her on the rules of the game and made stupid jokes when she missed the hole and when she hit it. The way he did a strange dance when he made a hole in one. It all culminated to make him the most adorable person she had ever known. Being with him felt so easy. So familiar. A warmth radiated throughout her chest as she laughed with him, watched him, talked to him about absolutely nothing but never ran out of things to say.
They stopped for a late lunch at a fast food restaurant before heading back to her Pa's house. After they settled themselves back on the couch with a deck of cards, they cut the TV back on and saw that the same show was playing from earlier. Marathon.
"So," Ashley stated, imitating the British accent of the television personality, "what is the Lady's pleasure?" He shuffled the cards.
She giggled. They started up a rousing game of Go Fish. Conversation flowed easily between them, as it usually did. Scarlett only checked her phone once.
Then Ashley became quiet. She didn't think much about it until the game was over and he began to shuffle the cards in silence. Was he ok?
"Ashley…"
"Did you ever think that our lives would turn out like this?" He stated abruptly. Still shuffling the cards.
Her heart stopped. "What do you mean?"
He stopped shuffling, still gazing down at the cards. A moment passed. "You living in New York. Me being here. Both of us being engaged." He softly grunted. "I just would have never guessed that our lives would end up like this…" He looked up at her, his eyes a breath-taking blue. "Did you?"
"No," she whispered. Her hand went to her pocket, gripping her phone.
He smiled softly, looking back at the cards. "When did you start seeing him?"
It didn't take a genius to know who he was speaking of. She was ashamed of how easily the lie left her lips. She didn't want to lie to Ashley about anything. "A few months after I arrived in New York."
He nodded. "When did you get engaged?"
She swallowed. "I...not too long ago." Her cheeks colored.
He looked at her for a moment longer before his cheeks colored as well. "I am sorry for asking so many questions. I don't mean to make it sound like an...interrogation." He must have noticed her discomfort and assumed it was because of his presumed disrespect.
She grabbed for his hand and looked at him earnestly. "No, Ashley, no...you can always ask whatever you want. There are no secrets between us." Except for the legion of lies that I have told you since I arrived here. Once again, she was filled with shame.
He scrunched his brow. "It's just…" He paused before looking her in the eye. "He just doesn't seem like your type." His face showed a bit of...aggression. "He doesn't seem good enough for you."
She couldn't breathe. Couldn't believe that he was saying these things. She couldn't find her tongue. He quickly realized what he had said and seemed to try to recover. "Gosh, I shouldn't have said that. I'm sorry but I just...I had to. Just once. I just would never have seen you with someone like him."
"Who would you have seen me with Ashley?" She whispered.
He looked down, his face showing a myriad of emotions. Mostly conflict. "I guess it is too late to wonder that now. You are engaged...I am really happy for you, Red."
She couldn't breathe. "It's never too late."
A moment passed before he looked at her again. "Maybe…" he paused, before levelly stating, "maybe we both-" He gripped his forehead. "Everything is changing really fast, you know?"
She nodded, unable to find her voice.
"I always assumed I would do...more. Travel. See the World. Meet people. I thought I would...know myself a little better before I give myself to someone else." He caught her gaze. "You know?"
"I do, Ashley. I do!"
He stood. "And now...now I am marrying Melanie." He turned from her, pausing.
The words were out of her mouth before she could stop them. "Do you love Melanie?"
Ashley looked ahead, focused on nothing, before smiling gently. "Melanie is...a dream. My dream. The only dream I ever had." He looked down at his hands. Scarlett frowned, not knowing whether that was a yes or no. He continued. "She just...knows me. Sometimes I think she knows me better than I know me. Everything makes sense with her. Like, we can sit in a room together, in silence, and there is still a...communion. Whatever souls are made of, hers and mine are the same." He grinned and she knew that there was something in what he said that she didn't completely grasp. "But there have been times when I have wondered...is marrying Melanie the coward's way out?"
She started. "Ashley, you are not a coward!"
He turned towards her and huffed. "Oh, but I am. I really am."
"Why would marrying Melanie make you a-a coward, Ashley?" She was so confused...what was he trying to say?
He sighed as he turned to face her. "Because by marrying Melanie I would be effectively sentencing myself to a live of...familiarity and comfort. Of predictability and ease. And I...think that is what I want, but I wish I was brave enough to want more. To seek more. I wish I was brave enough to take care of myself, for a change."
"But you do take care of yourself, Ashley! Look at the things you have accomplished!"
He laughed mirthlessly. "Yes...so many things. And never without help… Never without my father or his money guiding me through life. Pushing me to do more."
She grabbed at his arm. "But it's your money too, Ashley! You have done so much-"
He cut her off. "Nothing can truly be yours, Scarlett, unless you earn it. That has become so clear to me recently…"
He slouched down onto the arm of the sofa, his head hung low. She stood, wanting to approach him. To comfort him. To...see. The truth was, she couldn't comprehend what he was saying. She had never thought of these things, and couldn't make sense of why he would. She took quick steps until she was standing before him, her hands on his shoulders, imploring. She needed to understand. No more riddles. She needed him to be forthright with her...it was the only thing that she could understand.
"What is it that you want, Ashley?"
She was so close to him now. He looked into her face and said nothing. But his eyes settled on her lips. Now that she did understand. She waited. Hoping...hoping he would reach for her. Lose control of his guarded feelings and abandon all of these thoughts that haunted him. But he didn't.
So she did.
She grabbed him, pulling him to his feet and kissed him. Kissed him as she had wanted to for so long. She parted her lips slowly, tentatively tasted him. Took his lips much like...hers had been taken...
As soon as her mind went there, the kiss changed, automatically deepening. She wanted him to feel what she had last night. She wanted him to surrender to her. And she wanted to feel those things again. She was already starved for them. She wanted to feel that with Ashley, wanted him to take her, possess her. She continued to kiss him, to press him; to turn the kiss into a pleading, hopeless, needing cry for something that only they could give each other. Right now. But the kiss remained beautifully gentle, almost innocent. And it was so hard for her not to be disappointed when just hours ago she had been awakened to something so much more fierce.
He gripped her shoulders and at that she pulled away. They parted. There was no heavy breathing. No driving need to be connected again. Just a helpless longing…she had wished for it to be so very different.
He caressed her face. "Oh, Scarlett…" He was still so close to her. Why did he feel so far away? "I wish that your fire, your passion for life, could burn me up until I am nothing." He let go of her. "It would be more than I am now."
At that she felt a flare of frustration, brought on by the confusion and disappointment of the whole day. But before she could say a word, the front door opened and she heard her Pa's boisterous voice fill the house.
With a final glance, they headed towards the foyer to greet her father. Scarlett's heart clenched. She wished so badly that she knew what Ashley was feeling, thinking...wished that she could understand him. Give him what he needed.
But she was beginning to fear that she never would.