Anything

(Day 69: Friday Morning)

After Jay knocks and hears the response he opens the door and heads into the office, "I hope it's not too early. Your hours said six to five."

"No. Of course, not," Fairy Godmother smiles, before she gestures to the chair. "Have a seat." Jay eyes between the chair and her as he cautiously sits down. "How may I help you?"

"You said that we could come to you for anything," Jay begins. "When you said that, did you really mean anything or did you actually mean like for things that won't bother you?"

"Discussing problems with students is never a bother," she reassures. "What's wrong?"

It takes a minute for Jay to ask, "What do you know about masochism?"

The headmistress tenses her smile, "Masochism?" before she uncomfortably clears her throat and straightens out her desk. "Well, uh, it's a word that's tossed around a lot. People often use it to refer to self-destructive behavior." She looks at Jay, "What it really means is someone who likes pain— enjoys, uh, receiving pain, that is— but there's actually two types of masochism. One is getting pleasure out of physical pain, while the other is getting pleasure out of emotional pain such as humiliation or failure."

Jay focuses in interest, "Wait. So, it's not just pain pain. That emotional stuff— Would that be for all masochists or just some?"

"It probably depends on the person and situations," she uneasily continues. "I'm no expert on this matter by any means, but I know everyone has their limits. For instance, I doubt anyone would enjoy breaking their leg or have their deepest secret shared with the entire world." Jay nods, and it takes a moment for Fairy Godmother to inquire, "Is there a particular reason as to why you're asking about this?"

Jay shifts his eyes, "I have this friend— a real one, not one of those fake ones— who says he likes pain."

"And that bothers you?" she guesses.

"It probably wouldn't— I mean, it's not my life or body, right— except that because we're friends and we're…" He tries to explain, "We care about each other. But because of that, he said that if I really cared then I would hurt him, and I'm just having a really hard time trying to figure out if it's something he really wants or if he just thinks that pain goes along with caring because of how his mother treated him."

"This friend of yours," the headmistress questions, "is it Carlos?"

"How am I supposed to know if that's actually what he wants, if he actually is a masochist?" Jay continues on. "I mean, what if he doesn't actually like pain like that? What if I hurt him and one day he regrets it, sees me differently. I wouldn't be able to take it back."

Fairy Godmother hesitates, "It's a tough situation, but given the information you've provided, I'm not sure if there would be a way to tell if whether this thing he's going through would be something inherent in him or just some learned behavior. At least, not until the impact his mother has on him is resolved." She pauses, "One thing is for sure, and that is whether this is biological or environmental, it is something he currently wants."

"But what if he only thinks he wants it?" Jay struggles. "What if he hates me for it?"

It takes a minute for her to speak, "Look. I have no good answers for you. You probably know the situation better than I, so how you decide to proceed will ultimately be up to you." Jay looks away for a second. "I know it's hard, but all you have to do is listen to your heart. If it doesn't feel right to do this, then don't; however, if you do, I insist that you be careful and make sure to communicate. Even the most typical and small of relationships can fall apart over miscommunication, and with something as… controversial as this, it's important there isn't any."

Jay continues to frown, "So, basically, if he says he wants it, I should just believe him?"

"But don't do anything you're not comfortable with," she adds on, before she uneasily informs, "This isn't a well-studied phenomenon, but what remains consistent is that many people who claim to be masochists will say that pain can be an intimate experience when performed with another person. Some even consider it a sexual act." Jay doesn't speak. "I recommend that before you do or decide anything that you talk this issue through with him, just so you can have an idea of what it means to him and what his expectations are." He merely nods, knowing that it probably wouldn't be an issue either way. "Is there anything else you would like to say?"

Jay looks down, "There is something." before he meets her warm brown eyes. "But I'm not sure if I should say anything."

"You don't have to worry," Fairy Godmother comments. "This is a safe space. You can speak freely here." Jay eyes away again in hesitance. "And if it's a complaint about another student, your name can remain anonymous."

Jay nearly smiles, "No. It's nothing like that." but the seriousness quickly catches up to him. "It's about Mal."

"What about Mal?" she calmly questions.

"She—" He places a hand to his forehead, before he slides his red hat off, clenching it in his hand as he lowers his arm to rest. "She has a thing with alcohol. Like, she's not supposed to have it, but she relapsed before she was sent to jail, and now that she's out— We've been trying to distract her, but…" He meets her eyes, "I'm worried that she might get into it again."

"Jay," the headmistress frowns in concern, "are you saying Mal is an alcoholic?"

He hesitates, "Most people from the Isle don't even think it's a thing, but I saw it myself. For a few years it was like she was a completely different person." He looks away for a moment, "At the time I thought it was just because of the friends she had, but once she left Uma's gang it became clear what the real problem was." and then he shakes his head. "And it was just so hard for her to quit. What if she starts up and can't do it again?"

"You really care about her," Fairy Godmother notices.

Jay slightly nods, "She's the most important person in my life. I can't—" He breathes, "I don't know what I would do if I had to see her like that again. Before, it was like she couldn't care less about me. Or anyone or anything, really."

"It must have been difficult," she sympathizes.

"It was," he admits. "And now… What are we supposed to do now? I mean, I feel like we've tried everything, and she's still just so tense and angry and all of this other stuff that's been going on really hasn't been helping."

"I could speak with her if you'd like?" the headmistress suggests.

Jay shakes his head, "She can't know that I told you. Not right now." before he momentarily shuts his eyes. "I just really don't know what to do."

It takes a minute for Fairy Godmother to respond, "There are groups for people who suffer from alcoholism. Maybe you could try convincing her to attend one."

"A group?" Jay questions.

"Yes." She informs, "It would be a group of people talking about their struggles with alcohol abuse and the ways that others have overcome it, the kind of life they've earned after escaping their addiction."

"That's it?" Jay questions. "Talking?"

"It's more than that," she explains. "Most of these groups have a twelve step program to help guide them to a better way of life, and after the person has been sober for a period of time they are rewarded with a token they can keep on a keychain to remind them of the progress they've made and what it took to get there."

"What do you mean by a twelve step program?"

Fairy Godmother smiles, "Well, I don't know all of the details, but mostly it's about finding something to believe in— most of the time it's God and they will quote scripture that encourages recovery— and then after they learn to forgive themselves they move on to earning the forgiveness of their loved ones for any wrongdoings they may have done during their addiction."

"I'm pretty sure Mal doesn't believe in God," Jay comments.

"Even so," she softly responds, "a place where she can talk about her struggles and relate to others could be very beneficial. And it's anonymous, so she wouldn't have to worry about anyone else finding out about it."

Jay gives the headmistress a look, "She's dating the king. How anonymous can it be?"

It takes a moment for her to respond, "If you don't think she will attend the meetings, then the only other advice I can offer is to continue offering your love and support. It's important that she knows she has people who care about her and that she isn't alone."

After she stops speaking Jay comments, "Well, uh, thank you." before he stands.

"Hold on," Fairy Godmother informs, before she starts rummaging through the cabinet. "I'm sure I've got it here somewhere." She grins, "Ah. Here it is." before she hands the pamphlet to Jay. There's information and listed websites on here that may help you.

Jay unsurely looks from it to her, "Thanks."

She nods, "Oh, and you should know, the groups aren't just for those struggling with addiction. There are ones for friends and families of those who struggle too." He gives her a look. "Just giving out relevant information. What you do with it is up to you."

"Thanks," Jay says again, and after a moment of silence he continues, "Have a nice day."

"You too," the Fairy Godmother cheekily smiles. "I will see you in class."

"Right," Jay remembers. "Do I have to go? I mean, I know Mal has to, but—"

"Clearly, being taught how to be good wasn't entirely what you all needed." She nods, "I think it would be best if you all attended this class."

Jay nods, "Okay." before he attempts to smile. "See ya later, Mrs. G."

"If you insist on calling me that, Ms. G would be technically correct." She lets him know, "My husband and I are divorced."

Jay makes an uneasy expression, "Cool. See ya later, then, Ms. G." before he turns around and heads out of the room.

- Any teachers in the audience by any chance? I'm curious, what would you have done if a student came to you with topics like these?... It's probably different than if it's a boarding school, but the point remains. If someone said that they were worried about a friend who was "experimenting" with masochism or had an alcohol issue (let's throw in abusive/neglectful parents while we're at it) what would the proper response be per situation? Do you agree with those guidelines? Would you follow them? Or if you would follow them despite disagreeing, then what would you have personally wanted to do instead had your hands not been tied, so to speak?