Need

(Day: 72-73: Monday Noon-Tuesday Afternoon)

As Ben holds Mal's hand, he twists it to see the long scar running down her wrist, "I still can't believe you did that."

"It was that or die," she nonchalantly comments, as she lets go of his hand and takes a bite out of her ham sandwich.

"It's not going to heal," he frowns.

Mal halts, her mouth wide, before she twists her head in thought. Evie questions, "Mal. You can't honestly think—"

"I know," she evenly interrupts. "It is possible."

Doug looks between the two of them, "Am I missing something?"

Evie gives Mal a look, "M thinks that she should use a potion from the spellbook."

"You've never used it before," Jay disapproves.

"You have to start somewhere," Carlos interjects, but then Jay gives him a look. "What? Scientifically speaking—"

"Look," Mal loudly interrupts, and then everyone falls silent. "I don't even know what the ingredients are. Most of those potions are hundreds of years old. I would have to look at it first to even know if it could still be made the same way."

"So, you won't do it, then?" Ben tries to reason.

"No. Of course, I am," Mal smiles, before she stands from her seat. "And I think I will start by looking it up right now."

After she begins to walk off Ben tiredly comments, "I'm going after her." before he stands from the table as well.

When Ben makes it to the edge of the cafeteria Evie frowns suspiciously, turning to look at Doug, "Does he ever eat lunch?"

Doug glances from his tray to her, mouth open; however it takes him a moment to respond, "Well, I've seen him eat before. I mean, he always fills his tray and starts to…" He looks away for a second, before he uneasily faces her again, "I think he just gets busy a lot."

"Hmm," Evie hums as she picks up the apple wedge. "How convenient."

"So, what does it say," Ben questions as he observes Mal reading the leather-bound book.

She gives him a look, "You know, you don't need to be here."

"I want to be here," he quietly insists, before he walks closer to her and they sit on the bed. He sees the long list of items, "Are those the ingredients?"

"All of the plants are listed with their Latin names," Mal irritably comments.

"Is Evie's magic mirror around?" Ben inquires, before Mal gives him a look. "You could ask it to show you the English names."

"Only a witch can use a witch's glass," Mal informs as she places a hand to her head. "We'll have to use a computer to look it up." She stands up and walks around Evie's side of the room, "There should be one here somewhere."

"Magic mirrors can be used by anyone."

Mal turns around and sees his confused expression, "It's not a magic mirror. It's a witch's glass. Only a witch can use it." before she finds the laptop and takes it over to him.

"Then why does she call it a magic mirror?" Ben frowns.

"Probably because no one knows what a witch's glass is," Mal easily answers before she gets to the search engine.

After another minute Ben questions, "What is a witch's glass?"

"God," Mal complains. "Okay. Fine." She starts to type, "We will satisfy your unmoving curiosity first." Ben glances towards the door, as feet move along the hallway, before he turns back to the screen. "Here. Some people have their own guesses." Mal begins to read, "One. It's a mirror enchanted to see what you want." She shakes her head, huffing a laugh, "They actually have your father's magic mirror listed as the reference."

"But it's not?"

"Definitely not," Mal frowns as she scrolls through the responses. "And many of these people insists there's a difference, even though they don't know what it is." She pauses, before her jaw drops, "Wow."

"What?" Ben questions.

"This person really went into it. Like, a lot." There's another pause, "They even list what the differences are between an enchanted mirror, a magic mirror, and a witch's glass."

Ben scrunches his eyebrows, "There's a difference between a magic mirror and an enchanted mirror?"

"Apparently," Mal widens her eyes before reading the long paragraph. "A witch's glass is a mirror that has a spirit trapped inside it. Spirits who can't move on often cling to shiny or reflective objects. Blah. Blah. Blah." She looks towards the bottom of the paragraph, "Because most witches have the ability to communicate with spirits in one form or another, they are the only people who can use a witch's glass. Which, apparently, gives it its name."

"So, Evie's mirror has a spirit inside it?" Ben slowly questions.

"Apparently."

"And she can communicate with it?" he concludes.

"Apparently," Mal says again, before she switches the tab. "Can you get me a notebook or something? I need to write the ingredients in English."

"Of course," Ben answers, but as he stands and sees the scattered blankets, clothes, and other things, he finds it hard to find anything else. "Where, exactly?"

"Try my bag."

Ben notices the dark purple bag, before he goes up to it and rummages through it for a notebook, "Um. I'm not sure you have one in here."

"Get the drawing pad and pencil box, then." Ben sees the items, takes them out, and then zips the bag up before walking back over to hand the materials to her.

"This is great, isn't it?" Evie grins. "I mean, if this works, then you could get rid of all of your scars." She gasps, "I could get rid of my scars. They've just been so annoying lately, you don't even know."

"Don't worry," Mal frowns as she applies the cream to her wrists. "I'll let you know if it works at all."

Evie frowns, "What? You don't think it will?" Mal doesn't speak. "Your mother had four stars next to it."

"It probably wasn't even my mother," Mal comments, "but that's besides the point."

"Then why are you so down?" Evie insists. "If this works, then all of your scars are gone— literally. You won't have to be reminded of everything that's happened. You won't have to see what you—" Her expression falters, "Ah, you know, what's happened."

Mal looks at her, "That's the thing: in order to heal all of my cuts, they can't be fresh."

"Why does that matter?" she frowns.

"Because," Mal answers, "apparently it burns a lot and can actually interfere with the healing process when applied directly into the wound."

"No." Evie explains, "I mean, why does it matter? It shouldn't matter if they're fresh, unless…" She sees Mal look away, and it's quiet for a moment. "You're still doing it." Evie eyes the ground, "I thought…" before her and Mal face each other again. "I would have thought that you'd have stopped after all that time you spent in… custody."

"Alone in jail with nothing but my thoughts and memories," Mal sadly exasperates. "Of course I was still doing it."

"But you didn't even have nails," Evie disbelieves.

"Yes, well," Mal glances down, "apparently I'm just that creative." Evie stares at her, so she explains, "I still had my toenails." She eyes the ground and raises her eyebrows, "They didn't think of that." before she meets Evie's eyes again. "I tore one off and used it… It was actually decently sharp, you know, for a toenail." She doesn't respond, and Mal looks away again. "I actually thought that with the thickness of it and all that, that it wouldn't be sharp at all… but it was. And I used it."

"You were that desperate to cut yourself," Evie tears up.

"I was that desperate to get rid of the thoughts," Mal corrects, and when Evie doesn't speak she takes a step forward and lifts her arm, gesturing a hand to the side of her head. "Everything that I've ever heard or seen just repeats over and over again." She hysterically laughs with a pained grin, "And it doesn't matter if it only happened once or how small it was." She grits her teeth, "I remember it all."

Evie takes a step forward, "Mal."

She shakily breathes, "I remember when I was really little and Mom was gone, and I was running around the castle looking for her. And I stepped on a nail." She gulps, "Later on I was told that she had been at Jaffar's and that I shouldn't have been so afraid of being alone." Mal laughs, "Because, it's my fault, right? That I didn't sleep through the night? When I didn't steal the meat from the butcher and she nearly had me kill him for it?" She takes a step forward, "And how you were gone. How you were always just gone and I could never find you, and I couldn't even hypnotize your mother to let me see you because I was just that weak?" A few tears fall to her cheek, "You suffered because of me. I know you did."

Evie takes a few more steps forward, shaking her head, "No, Mal."

Mal glows her eyes at her, "Don't lie to me!" but Evie continues forward.

"M." She glances down for a second, "Whatever happened, it wasn't your fault."

"Yes, it was," Mal insists. "It was all my fault— everything."

"No. It wasn't," Evie quietly comments, before she takes a final step forward and wraps her arms around Mal. "It wasn't your fault." She sobs. "Okay. You didn't even know what was going on. I never told you anything."

"But I never even bothered to ask," Mal whispers.

"Because we're told not to," Evie immediately responds. "Okay. We're told it's our fault, that we should be ashamed, and that we should never mention it again." She holds Mal tighter, "Okay? But that doesn't make it true. What your mother did… it wasn't your fault. And what my mother's done to me…" She lightly laughs, "That's not your fault either. Okay? You tried your best. You did all you could. That's what matters."

Mal's breathing steadies, "You still smell like strawberries."

Evie giggles, "Yeah, well, I still have that body wash, so—" before she feels Mal kiss her neck and place her hand under the shirt onto her lower back. "What are you doing?"

She undoes the zipper at the leather top of Evie's shirt, "It's been so long since I've had you like this."

Evie partially lifts up her arms, shutting her eyes, "Mal." and she rolls them in irritation as Mal takes the opportunity to lift the shirt off of her. "We should be talking."

"Why?" Mal smiles. "Talking is so boring." She takes a few steps back as she pulls off her green, flowing tank top to reveal the black, flowery lace underneath. "Don't you want me?"

Evie tears her eyes away from the bra, "We were talking. You were upset, and we were talking." but then Mal closes in on her again. "I wanted to help you."

"Then help me," Mal seductively whispers, and Evie can feel the warm breath caress her skin as she takes a few steps back and finds herself falling back onto the bed. Mal moves on top of her, her legs spread apart over hers, as Evie uses her arms to prompt herself up. Mal kisses her slowly, and when their lips part Mal's remains only an inch away, "Now. Wouldn't you much rather be doing this?"

Evie can feel Mal's lips just barely pass hers with each word, "I, uh." She lets out a breath, "I guess we can talk later."

Mal kisses her again, "There's my princess." before she makes her way to Evie's neck and Evie rests her arms, letting herself fall onto the soft mound of shambled bedding.

When Ben opens the door Evie smiles in frustration, "Hey. So, you remember back in court when you and Mal were talking about that whole age thing, and she made you completely forget about your concerns, and I acted like only a guy could be so dumbfounded?"

Ben shifts his eyes, "I may."

Evie walks in between the space of him and the doorframe, before she twists around and uncomfortably rubs her arm, "Yeah, well, I'd just like to apologize for that."

Ben shuts the door, "What happened?"

"Well, I—" Evie halts at the sight of the plastered hole, "Nice wall."

Ben glances over his shoulder and recognizes the mismatched brightness of the paint, before he sighs and turns back to Evie, "I'm working on it."

"Okay." She continues on, "Well, anyway, Mal and I were going over something, ah, important." Evie shakes her head, "She got all upset, and I was trying to help her, and…"

"And?" Ben prompts.

"And." Evie uneasily laughs, "She really didn't want to talk." Ben gives her a tired, annoyed look. "She seduced me."

"Right." He takes a deep breath, "I think I need a drink." before he goes and takes a couple sodas from the fridge. "Want one?" She doesn't speak. "Of course, not," Ben accepts. "It's not pure enough." He takes out a bottle and tosses it towards her, "Here. Have a water."

"Thanks," Evie unsurely responds, and when he sits down at the table so does she. "Anyway, I just thought I should apologize for saying that only a guy could completely forget himself around a pretty girl, when clearly you didn't have a weak mind or will: she just has a very strong personality."

It takes a minute for Ben to comment, "You didn't say anything."

"No," Evie counters, "but clearly I was thinking it, so I just thought I should let you know that I was… well, no longer thinking it."

"Right," Ben says again.

She watches him put the first can aside and open up the second, "Are you okay?" but he doesn't answer. "It's just that… you seem tired? Like, more than usual."

"Yeah. It's nothing," he bypasses. "It's just been a long week." He takes another drink of the Diet Coke, "Break any rules?" He looks up, "You know, aside from her doing it to avoid her emotions and not for heat?"

Evie looks down at the orangey table for a second, quiet for a moment, "No. I don't think so anyway." Ben waits, just staring at her with a frown. "We were shirtless, if that counts."

"Skin to skin contact," Ben recalls, before he sternly eyes her, "Keep your pants on."

"Of course," Evie uneasily breathes. She opens up her water, "So. Ah."

"I know there's not a lot of ways to say no to Mal," Ben firmly comments, "but it is possible." Her frown deepens, all signs of the uncomfortable laughter erased from it. "The next time she gets upset, don't take advantage of her."

"Advantage of her?" Evie comments in confusion.

Ben leans forward, "When people are in a high emotional state they aren't themselves. They say and do things they normally wouldn't. Mal didn't want to talk about this important, emotional thing you two were discussing, so she made herself forget that pain through sexual activity." He takes another drink, "It's a sadly common thing, really." before he gives Evie another look. "And something that should be avoided if at all possible."

Evie glances around the room, "Where's Doug?"

"The library," Ben quickly answers, before he finishes off the soda, crushes the can, and throws it into the paper bag. "Something about needing a quiet place to work."

She hears Ben scoff, before he goes over to the fridge and pulls out some more cans, restocking it as he does so. Evie slightly shakes her head, watching as he sits down and opens another one, "That's your third in like five minutes."

"Okay. I doubt it's only been five minutes," Ben denies, but he sets the can down and uncomfortably gazes, as Evie pulls each can to her side of the table. "What are you doing?" She quickly snatches the last can from him, and she stands from her seat as he stretches his arm out for it. "Come on. That's mine." Ben grins, "Really. Hand it here. This isn't funny."

"Are you sure?" Evie smiles back, because it seems kind of funny.

Ben stands up and tries to take the can back from her, but then she pulls it even farther from him. "Come on," he commands, before he grits his teeth, "Give it back. I need it."

"Why?" Evie frowns in question.

"Because, I want it."

She scrunches her eyebrows, "Oh. You want it." before she eyes up in thought. "So, you don't need it, then?"

"Look." Ben smiles in agitation, "I've just been really stressed lately, and the taste of that calms me down." He glares at her. "So, give it back before I go over there and tear it from you."

Evie observes him, before she collectively reassures, "Don't worry. You'll get it back," She moves her eyes down, "But I want you to sit first." Ben shifts his eyes between the can and her. "Come on. Don't you trust me?" He lets out a defeated breath and sits, before Evie sits back down as well. "Now. Tell me what's wrong and I will give this back to you."

He glances at the can and then wets his lips, "I told you. I'm just stressed."

"About what?" Evie prompts.

"You know." Ben lifts a shoulder, "Just things."

Evie lifts up the can, "Do you want this or not?"

He looks away for a moment, "I have a council meeting tomorrow." before he turns back to her and stretches out an arm. "Give it back."

She looks from his hand to him, "Why is it stressful?"

Ben lets his arm drop, dragging it back towards him over the cool, smooth surface, before he slightly shakes his head, "Because… Because of my father." He feels his heart quicken as his breaths become short and shallow. "He disapproves of what I'm about to do."

"And that's bad?" Evie assumes.

"I— I, ah—" He gulps, turning his eye down from Evie, and he recognizes it, "I want the soda." He looks back up at her, "I want the soda."

Evie observes his fidgety behavior, before she lifts the can up to hand it to him; however, when he goes to grab it she pulls back, "Let's be clear about something." She looks into his widened, hazel eyes. "You don't want the soda. You need it." She sees him about to deny it, "And I know you need it, because when you were standing you were so focused on the one in my hand that you didn't even think to take one from the table." Ben shifts his eyes towards the unopened cans, mouth slightly agape at the realization, before he sees Evie hand the soda to him again. She watches as he stares at it, "Go on. Take it." He darts his eyes between the can and her, before he carefully snatches it and takes a drink. Evie notices him take a deep, relaxing breath, "So, what else can you tell me?"

"Nothing," Ben answers, before he takes another drink; however, he shakes the can, as he finds it empty. Evie partially smiles, before Ben leans forward and points, "Hand me the lime."

When she picks up the can her smile completes, "This can?"

"Yes," Ben irritably comments. "That can."

"Tell me more first."

Ben sighs and leans back in his chair, "There's really nothing else to tell." but then he taps his fingers on the table. "He won't even be there."

"So, you could lie to him," Evie suggests.

Ben shakes his head, "Next week I have to inform the entire kingdom what I'm spending their tax dollars on at some event." before he pounds the table and then holds his hand in pain. "Merde." He releases a long breath, "Why does everything have to be so hard. It's like—" He lifts his hands up, "There's no way to do anything without consequence."

"Consequence?" Evie questions, and when she notices Ben rub his forehead in stress she slides the soda over to him.

He takes it, "You know, just when he thinks I'm not doing the right thing." before he opens it and takes a drink. He takes another one, reveling in the lime taste, before he looks back at Evie, "It's just so hard, you know? It's like I can never do anything right."

She watches him take another drink, "What happens when you don't do the right thing?"

Ben's mouth gapes, startled, "What?"

"You said before," Evie reminds him, glancing down, and there's a pause as she observes his frozen, almost paranoid state. "Your father. What does he do when he thinks you're not doing the right thing?"

Ben opens his mouth to speak; however, no words come out, and he opts to shrug a shoulder and take a drink instead, "I don't know. He's the spur of the moment type of person." At the sight of Evie he takes another drink, and then he clears his throat, "You know, like… I've never been grounded before." His mouth opens at the realization, "I've never been grounded before." and he raises his eyebrows before finishing off the can. He sets it aside, "There should be a cherry one."

Evie finds it and hands it to him, "So, what did he do instead?"

Ben makes a face, buying time before he opens the can and takes the first sip. He rests his elbow on the table as he raises his arm, "Nothing. You know, just…"

"Just?" Evie prompts. She watches him take another drink and hesitates, "Ben—"

"It just…" He eyes the soda as the tears moisten his eyes, "It depends on how he's feeling." He takes a drink of the Diet Coke and relaxes some, "Sometimes it's completely fine, he'll just point out every little flaw in my argument and ask me how I plan to solve problems that take place too far into the future and have too many variables to account for to actually solve." He quiets, "But others… Other times…" He shakes his head and takes another drink.

"What?" Evie softly asks, and when he looks up at her she can see the tears shimmering in his eyes.

He half laughs, "You know, I can just hear him now." and then he nods before gulping. "All about how what I'm doing can't work, that I will destroy the country that he built from nothing." Ben takes a couple gulps of his drink, just enough to keep the tears from falling, before he swirls the can in his hand, "How I'm too young, naive, and ambitious to be king. He has more experience. He knows better than I do." Ben looks up at Evie, and his voice cracks, "Am I a bad king?" He sees her open her mouth, "Be honest."

"Ben," she begins. "I've never actually seen you… well, work. I only just got here. I can't tell you what kind of king you are."

"It doesn't matter that you just got here," he counters, words staccato as he does so. "I become king after you arrived."

She hears the can shake, and when she looks down she can see him scraping it back-and-forth over the table. Evie stretches out her arm, lapping her fingers over his to keep the can from shaking; however, the moment Ben becomes still his breaths shake and the tears fall. She quietly asks, "Is this your first council meeting?"

"First budget meeting," he manages, before he takes two large breaths.

Evie pauses, "Then I can't tell you what kind of king you are." and then he eyes up at her. "Because, how you handle this meeting and budget will determine the kind of king you will be."

He slightly shakes his head, "I don't think I can do this."

"Yes, you can," she reassures.

He shakes his head harder, "No. I can't." before he looks up at her with pleading eyes, urging her to understand the reasons even he doesn't know. "I can't disobey him. I can't."

Evie feels the can shake more, and she places her other hand over his to keep it steady, "Look." She widens her dark brown eyes at Ben, "He may be your father, but you're the king. And you have a right to do what you think is best for your people."

Ben notices his eyes dart back-and-forth, before he shuts them hard and places his hand to his forehead, "I want to do what's best for them." He opens his eyes, "But it's hard." and they shift to the side as he slightly laughs, "Really, really hard."

Evie lets go of the soda can, eyeing the scratched paint of the table before she observes him in hesitance, "I guess the question is…" He looks at her. "What is the cost of helping your people, and is it worth it?"

It takes a minute for Ben to comment, "So many people are suffering." and he lets out a soft breath. "I know I can't help everyone at once, but…" It's quiet for a moment, before he accepts, "I suppose the first thing I'm going to have to learn as king is to put the needs of my citizens above my own."

Evie partially smiles with raised eyebrows, as warm tears intrude her eyes, "That's very honorable of you." She sees his look, and it's quiet before she comments, "I know it's hard, but you have people you can come to if you need to." He doesn't respond. "Hey." She waits for him to look back up at her, "I'm here to talk to if you need me. Okay?"

Ben makes a noise, shutting his eyes for a second, "Thank you, but—" and then he recalls what he had said to the waitress. "It won't be necessary."

"Yeah," Evie shifts her eyes down, then up. "I never thought so either."

- I imagine that people who didn't have a passionate band teacher or other background in music wouldn't know what staccato means. I tried finding a different word for it, but I failed. I thought stacated was a word and that it would have fit better, but I looked it up and the word doesn't seem to exist. Any suggestions on a word I could have used other than staccato?... I'm probably just picky, but even saying his words were chopped didn't seem to do justice. It has to be short, on point, with pauses in between. You know, like how someone would talk if they were super stressed. Also, question, which is better in your opinion: in between or in-between. Apparently inbetween isn't a word. Also, I'm fairly sure that I've had to have mixed up compliments with complements quite a few times in this story, because I just caught it today... Kind of hating English right now. If any of you aren't American and therefore were probably required to learn several languages, can you tell me if other languages have this issue where a ton of words will look alike or there will be twenty (slight exaggeration) different words that make the same sound? I'm just frustradedly curious... and I'm also sure by this point that frustratedly isn't a word, so I don't know why I keep using it.

- That's it for now. Upcoming chapters will be: Jay and Carlos featuring Chad, a couple for the dinner at Audrey's, and then another about Carlos. Or at least that's what I've got planned. If I add as much as I did with these last two chapters, then that description may no longer qualify; however, since I have internet and can research things I'm pretty sure I can just write in chronological order and not jump around like I did this last week. What did you guys think of the last five chapters, by the way? Was it better to jump around or did it just make it more confusing than usual? Let me know. While you're at it you can tell me your favorite and least favorite parts, if you so wish. Have a nice day/night. I hope you enjoyed.