Chapter Five

Falling Fast

Emma hated awkward silences more than anything. She looked to her left and watched, as he didn't notice her gaze, she couldn't ignore it any longer as they sat together on the couch in front of the television. "So your mom seems pretty cool, you know letting me stay overnight."

That statement amused him; he shrugged a shoulder and looked at Emma. "She's a lot of things but cool isn't one of them."

Emma nodded, "I can say the same about my mom."

They paused for a moment, and she turned her body to face him, "So what were you and Alex talking about earlier?"

"Nothin'." He lied in a mutter but Emma saw through it.

"It didn't look like nothing, just sayin'. It's probably none of my business."

"We had a stupid fight and broke up. And this time unlike before it seems like it's really over."

Suddenly she didn't know what to say she simply remarked, "Oh."

"And I guess it's your business because it was about you. The fight was about you."

"Why me?" She furrowed her brow completely unaware.

Jay shrugged his shoulders, "She was jealous that she didn't get to go to Wasaga probably and you did. Alex is a very jealous person."

"Well there's nothing going on between us, what's there to be jealous of?"

He wants her to see how he could feel, that Alex wasn't wrong to be jealous. She could see it that a girlfriend would freak out hanging out with two girls. Emma has no idea how Jay felt. His reasoning was simple, he saw the way she was today quiet, observant and friendly. It made him finally realize that she really isn't so bad of a girl, in fact she isn't bad at all and he might just be falling for her.

He wasn't nearly as affected as he initially thought with the break up tonight. In fact, he was barely affected when Lexxi broke up with him tonight. He should've seen it coming and he did. They were always breaking up, getting back together and doing it again by the next day. The reason why Alex and Jay had stuck it out for so long was because they had history.

At first they were off to a great start but as her family situation worsened things got bad. She was once a happy girl and sometimes, sweet. Unfortunately she let her life consume her. She never let him in all the way. When they were kids, it was different. When they were younger they were inseparable until she had to move away. They were next-door neighbors. Connie and Emily were friends before Connie started stripping and Emily became somewhat of an alcoholic. Alex lost her biological father and Emily suffered from low self-esteem and began to get involved with a myriad of guys. Jay's dad worked in the lumberyard before he got fired and Connie left him built them a tree house in the yard. They had their first kiss there the night he never thought he'd see her again. All of those memories just seem so far away. The tree house was like he and Alex's hideaway. Whenever a sketchy guy would come around Alex and Jay would meet there. Whenever his parents fought he'd find himself there with Alex shortly after. They spent a lot of time there.

Meanwhile Emma was trying to get Jay's attention, he had managed to zone out and get lost in his thoughts. She was seated cross-legged like a pretzel. "Earth to Jay?"

"Sorry, I was just thinking."

"What about?"

"About how we should move this pow wow upstairs, I got a bottle of jack that needs drinking."

"Well that's fine by me."

They both get up and travel to the bedroom. Emma didn't think twice about it. It just felt natural. "So what else were you thinking about?"

"Lots of things, like who I'm going to hang out with at school with Alex and I split up and Sean back with his parents." Jay had a mini fridge in his bedroom, he took the bottle out and poured her a glass and he a glass and then topped it off with some coca-cola. Emma takes a sip and swallows it hard, she made a face it was strong. "Too strong?"

Amused she giggled, "A little." As he poured more of the coke bottle in her cup, she couldn't help but notice he wasn't being mean to her. She couldn't help but remember what Ellie told her the earlier in the bathroom at The Dot about staying away from him.

As they drank they talked but they both started to get tired. Emma was feeling the alcohol she laid down in the bed. "So this is your typical night."

"What do you mean?"

"Darcy earlier said I was an experiment, do you always bring girls in your bedroom?"

"Just Alex," Jay told her with a furrowed brow, "What are you getting at Greenpeace?"

"Nothing I just don't know why she said that. I hear the rumors at school."

"I don't put any stock into that stuff." Jay confessed as he opened up his bedroom window to get some air as he pulled out his pack of cigarettes, placed it into his mouth, lit it and then blew the smoke out the window. He turned to Emma and asked her if she wanted one and she nodded.

"What do you put stock into?"

"Well you know, real people. I see what I see."

"Seeing isn't always believing," Emma took a puff in and blew it out the window.

"The point is I don't care about rumors. People will believe what they want to believe and I don't care what people think of me. High school is just a blip of four years that I'll forget about by the time I'm twenty. I'm calling it right now people like Paige Michalchuk peak in high school. For me?" He exhaled, "the best is yet to come."

Emma finished her cigarette and coughed before sipping her drink, "You don't have to finish your drink." To be fair she didn't want to be rude, she set it down on the dresser and sat down on the bed. "Why don't you lie down?" He said, "I'll take the couch downstairs but we can still hang out until you doze." Emma wordlessly grabbed the blankets and wrapped them tight around her, "Cold?"

"I get cold easily." She chuckled scooting over so that they were both lying side-by-side facing one another.

She couldn't help that his demeanor had changed while they were hanging out over the past few hours. She decided to bite the bullet she didn't want to be one of those girls. "Are you an honest person?"

"Brutally. Why?"

"Why me?"

He dodged the question he knew what she meant; he just wanted to get it over and done with. He wanted her to know how he feels, whether she understands or not. He could see that time was running out, her eyes were getting heavy, the hand she had propping her head up she let down and her head was completely on the pillow. I wonder what she thinks or feels about him. He lied when he said he doesn't care what people think about him because he does care deep down.

"Emma?"

"Yeah?" She yawned.

"What do you think about me?"

"What do I think about you?"

"Yeah." He nodded.

"I thought you didn't care. Why are you asking me that?"

"I want to know," He told her as he simultaneously and inaudibly thought to himself I need to know.

Emma couldn't figure out what his intentions were. She just grimaced uncomfortably, "I don't know how to answer that. If you asked me yesterday what I thought about you it wouldn't be pretty but I don't know now."

"I think we should hang out more. You're a cool girl. How about we blow off school tomorrow and hang out?"

"Jay Hogart isn't asking me to hang out.

"So what if I did?" He wondered out loud, "Emma, I'm dead serious."

"You're calling me by my name?"

"I've technically used your name like three times today but still."

"At least nothing bad happens if you say my name three times," She attempted to lighten the mood and change the subject.

"You never answered my question. So why don't you -"

"You don't want to hang out with me." She cut him off as she added, "I'm boring."

"Well I disagree today was fun."

"I'm not stupid I know what your version of hang out is."

"I never said you were and there's another reason," he paused, and he didn't know how to say this but to just blurt it out, "I know it's kind of random but I like you."

Emma had this unusual gleam in her eye he'd never seen before, "Seriously?"

He didn't hesitate, "Seriously."

They just laid there in silence looking at each other for a few moments. He slowly stroked his hand on her cheek and tucked her hair behind her ear and she didn't recoil or pull away she didn't move. In fact he felt her lean closer to him. Their foreheads touched, their eyes gazed and for a few moments it was quiet all around. He just wanted to kiss her, he observed the moment that she wouldn't be opposed and then finally he did the unthinkable he kissed her. Jay kissed Emma.