Penguin HQ

(Skipper's POV)

"Okay!" I said shuffling a deck of cards, "double Norwegan slap em and grab em poker is the game." "What?" elsa said. "King's high!" I said, "and seven's wild extremely wild!" "Dobule Norwegan slap em and grab em skipper?" Private asked, "I don't think I know the rules?" "and your not going to get them," elsa muttered. "Not to worry young private," I said, "you pick them up as we go!" "Okay so…" private said taking a card. "slam!" I said, "Private's out!" "I am? What did I do wrong?" Private asked.

"agreeing to play this game with skipper," elsa whispered. "well if you don't private," I said, "I can't explain It to you… Rico!" "uh?" rico said picking a random card. "Slam!" I shouted, "and rico's out!" "Aw man!" rico said slamming his cards onto the table. "Skipper," Private said, "Your not making the rules up as we go are you?" (I totally am) "Hmmm…sour grape. Kowalski! Your up!" Kowalski was looking at his deck not moving. "Kowalski…Hello!" Kowalski lowered his cards and stared at us with wide eyes.

"I see it now!" Kowalski said, "It's simple!" Kowalski drops his cards while he said this revealing his deck. "really?" Private asked, "could you explain it to me because I'm completely flummoxed!" "I don't think Kowalski is talking about skipper's confusing game," elsa said. "It's so ridicously simple!" Kowalski said, "even private could do it! Science compels me!" "here we go again," elsa said. "yep," I said. "I must do this thing!" Kowalski shouting leaving for his lab. "even private?" Private said insulted, "even! I'm insulted!" "nay," I said, "why start now?"

"oh…" I said, "looks like I win big!" I than grab the pail of fish in the center of the table. "who's up for another round?" "Actually…" Private said grabbing a suitcase, "I have a thing I have to do!" I turned to rico who strangely also had a thing he had to do. "Um…" Rico said, "I gotta go!" Have you seen what you started Kowalski! "How about you elsa?" I asked. Elsa grabbed her suitcase, "I uh…also have something to do…" I look at my winnings. If they don't like this game why didn't they just say so?

Hours later

"I can do this!" Kowalski said, "I can do it! I can totally do it! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!" Private done with the "thing" he had to do walked up to the door and knocked, "Kowalski?" "what!" Kowalski shouted. "I was just wondering if you like a spot of tea," Private asked. "Private! I am weaving the fabric of life! Creating wonders neither man or nature could conceive!" "so no tea than?" Private asked. "no tea!" Kowalski said slamming the door in private's face. "rude!" Private said. "Oh you know how Kowalski gets when he's on one of his inventing jacks!" "Unfortantely I do," Private said.

"and won't be long before he burst out of that lab with some screwball device with a unpronounable name!" "that blows up!" Private said. "It better not," elsa said. "that's a given!" I said. And than Kowalski burst out of the lab. "I done it!" Kowalski said, "I have invented the Churrostifishinitizer!" "unpronounable…check," I said, "Now let's see about the screwball!" "are we really humoring him again?" elsa said.

we shortly found ourselves in front of the…device. "I present the churrostifishinitizer!" Kowalski said, "AKA…the glorious machine that finally realizes the dream!" "What dream?" I asked. "THE Dream Skipper." "huh?" elsa said. 'THE Dream Kowalski?" I said. "Yes! THE DREAM!' Kowalski said. "which specific dream would that be?" "I dunno," rico said. "Kowalski I want to make sure I understand what your saying!" I said," Because if I'm hearing what your saying and your saying what I think your saying than…What are you saying?" Kowalski pulled a green curro off the machine and said, "The Dream Skipper!" "The dream!" I said as Kowalski put it into my open beak. I sucked the pastery into my mouth and a wave of glorious deliciousness washed over my tastebuds. I was so delicious I floated up into the air like I was a cloud as the deliciousness carried me away.

"I'm sorry could someone explain what you two are going on about?" Private asked. "Private," Kowalski explained, "I have combined nature's two most perfect foods…The fish and The Curro…into one magical megafood. The Furro!" "Whoa!" Rico said. I finally returned to earth, "It's like everything good in the universe in convienent little stick form!" "Would you like to…" Kowalski didn't get to finish his question when Rico grabbed on of the furros. Rico threw it until his mouth and chewed quickly. Rico burps appreciately and said, "Oh wow!"

Elsa ate one, "why did you think of this earlier! This is the best thing you ever invented!" Private took a couple cautious bites until the taste hit his tastebuds. "so delicious!" Private said, "If only I can make this moment last forever!" "by beak Privae! Their's plently more where that came from!" Kowalski said flipping a switch. A whole bunch of furros moved down the conveyer belt toward an awestruck Private, Elsa, and Rico. "Kowalski!" I said, "On occasion I may have made a smartalec remark or two about your scientific pursuits…I don't know if you ever notice." "um…I caught a few," Kowalski said. "Well I take them all back!" I said trapping the poor penguin in a tight hug, "You done good! Real good!"

Private suddenly had a concern, "wait…what's the catch? W-when does this currofi-fi-chumchumy…this thing blow up!" "Oh yeah…hey!" I said glaring at Kowalski, "what's the ETA on the big boom!" "No boom!" Kowalski said walking back to the machine, "I promise there's no catch! No downside at all!" I lifted up another furro to my mouth, "great!" "Expect for the toxic waste problem!" "Urgh!" "But I got that covered!" Kowalski said. "oh really?" elsa said. "really!" Kowalski said walking over to a technical drawing, "an elaborate network pumps the toxic waste byproducts into a convienent dispersal system!"

Lemur habitat

"Which is what exactly?" I said. "uh," Kowalski said put down the technical drawing, "That!" Kowalski pointed to the lemurs plastic volcano. A glowing blue bubble floated up out of the volcano. "makes a nice effect I think!" Kowalski said. And apparently Julian thought so too. "Finally!" Julian said sitting down on the ledge by the volcano, "The zoo is properly celebrating the…" Julian grabs Maurice and mort, "Me-osity of me with a awesome laser light bubble show!" Julian waits a few minutes but another bubble didn't appear right away.

"eh…" Julian said, "the laser light is coming!" The bubble exited the volcano right as Alice appeared who turned around. "I didn't know it did that," Alice said as the bubble floated away, "Whatever!" with that Alice walks away unaware that she just walked past us. "but isn't pumping out toxic waste…well…bad?" Private asked. "Psst," Kowalski said, "I sure any ill effects will be negligible!" "um-hmm!" Rico said. "well that's a good question Private…why don't you think of it this way!" I said shoving a Furro into Private's mouth. "they are very tummable!" Private replied. We were blissfully unaware that the bubbles were raising up, thru the Earth's atmosphere, to form a giant moon-sized bubble of toxic waste in orbit.

Days later penguin HQ

"what would you gentlemen like for breakfast?" Kowalski asked as if he didn't know the answer. "Day old halibut? Dry fish biscuits? An old shoe?" "Furro!" Rico shouted. "Furros!" Private said, "We want Furros!" "I don't see why not!" Kowalski said. Furros shot out of the glorious machine and onto our awaiting forks, sporks, and knives. This was followed by a color filled (HIPPIE-LIKE) montage of delicousness!

later that week

"One week of doing nothing but eating Furros!" I said. "I could spend my whole life eating nothing but furros," Elsa said. "I still can't get enough!" I added. Rico burped in agreement. "nice one rico!" I said.

(King Julian's POV)

Mort filled up the royal swimming pool as I watched from above. "Now!" I said, "to show off my flashy diving skills!" I turned around to get ready for my high dive. "Backflip cockal-twist." I jumped and did my diving move while a gust of snow and ice blew past and I face-planted into solid ice. "Maurice come quickly!" I said. Maurice quickly came to my aid. "Your Majesty!" Maurice said, "are you alright?" "I am not!" Julian said, "look at all this snow!" "Weird…" Mort said.

"Where did that come from?" Maurice asked. "who's caring?" I said stupidly, "snow means winter and winter means Christmas…and Christmas means…say with me…PRESENTS!" "Yah!" Mort said, "Presents!" "not for you mort," I said, "me only! So where are my presents Maurice? I hope they are good but I also hope you brought the receipts I case I decide that they are not so much." "it's not Christmas!" Maurice said, "It's July!" excuses, excuses… "In fact it's getting pretty warm," Maurice said. "Summer?" I said, "that means…" I splashed into the water and spit it onto Maurice, "It's my birthday! It's my birthday! So ha! You still owe me the presents! Nice try you greedy!"

And than a mini storm formed above me in a boom of thunder. "what that?" Maurice said. I looked up an saw the storm, "eh…what's this?" "You didn't by any chance offend the sky-spirits did you?" Maurice asked. I don't think so… "No!" I said, "What? The Sky-spirits love me! That's just factual!" I put Mort up to use as a umbella to keep me dry in my mini-storm. "Oh put me on your feet!" Mort said, "I can be your galosses…" The storm disappeared and I flung mort aside. "Somebody must have offended the Sky-spirits!" I said because it is never me, "but which somebody?" That the laser-light bubble show turned on and sent off another bubble. "Or somebodies…or some stinky fishy penguin bodies!"

Penguin HQ

(Skipper's POV)

The Furros were so delicious that Private had the lunacorns on and I didn't care. Private was listening to some nonsense…couldn't make it out too distracted by furros. "Wise are you Prince sharesalot." Suddenly Chuck charles appeared, "Live at Five," an announcer said, "Breaking News…when theirs new we break it." Thank you captain obvious! "Weather gone wild!" Chuck said, "Reports are filtering in of freak atmospheric disturbances center in the central park…

I shut the Tv off, "shh…Private…Just enjoy these furros…" That sounded important Skipper," Elsa said flippers on her hips. "WITHOUT THE MAINSTREAM's MEDIA JIBBERJABBER!" "Furro before you," I said, "I didn't know my hard heart could ever love again! And I like this!" I then shoved it into my mouth. Mort had somehow appeared next to Private much to Private's surprise. "jacuse!' Julian shouted, "Sky-spirit schemers!" "what?" Private asked. Urgh why must Julian interrupt our furro time with Sky-spirit mambo-jumbo! "well you think you can play dumb?" Julian said, "buddy we can play dumber!" "uhhh," Julian said. "I am galosses!"

"The King thinks whatever you are doing over here have royal ticked off the sky-spirits!" Maurice said. How many times do we have to tell these lemurs that there are no such thing as Sky-spirits! "I highly doubt that," Kowalski said, "giving that they don't actually exist." "ah-ha-ha!" Julian said, "then why are they showing their displeasure of you by making the weather all wack-a-do!" That confirms that Julian is wack-a-do. "I'm sure your exaggerating," Kowalski said, "but just for later so I can be smug and condescending I'll put up our servelliance system…Good Golly Miss Molly what is that!"

The Screens showed that the weather had indeed gone wack-a-do. In the elephant habitat Burt struggled against a massive gust of wind a struggle he ultimately lost. IN Gorilla habitat theire was a small blizzard. Bada was holding up to mangoes, "I'm Freezing my Mangoes over here!" and in the flamingo habitat pinky was complaining that, "oh it's too hot baby! Too hot!" Hot-flashes maybe? "Behold the wack-a-do-ness of which I was speaking earlier!" "This call for immediate action!" I said before offering some Furros, "who need refreshing? Furro? Furro? Furro?" Kowalski and Julian looked at me oddly.

"Oh yah," I said, "we should probably check out the weather thing too." A fuse was lit. "This Roman Candle," Kowalski said, "should provide you with the extra thrust needed to propel you to the upper atmosphere!" "are you sure this is safe?" Private asked. Before Kowalski could answer the firecracket send Private flying upwards. "Safe…um…Safe?" Kowalski said. "YOU DON"T KNOW IF IT'S SAFE!" Elsa shouted. "My hunch," I said, "This is Dr. Blowhole's Revenge for his previously foiled…Series of revenges." "yep," Rico said shallowing a Furro. "Private will see some Dolphin-themed Weather controlling satellite…We'll take it out…" "Ka-boom!" Rico said. "Right…Problem solved."

"Private should break cloud-cover any moment," Kowalski said. "Kowalski are you seeing this?" Private asked. All we got was static, "Not getting a clear picture," Kowalski said, "it's fuzzy." "I'm not sure," Private said, "It's definitely not a satellite." Suddenly the thrust went out, "Oh dear," Private said. He then started the long freefall back to earth. "ahhh!" Private shouted.

(end of part one)