-Whoops. I completely forgot that Mal wasn't supposed to leave the kingdom of Auradon (as opposed to the country). Don't worry. I fix that in this chapter.

Everything

(Day 79: Monday Afternoon)

When Mal sits down on the couch she hands the purple flower notebook over the coffee table to the therapist. "No small talk today, I see," she smiles.

Mal watches as she opens it, "Yeah, well, small talk really isn't my thing."

"There's a couple lower temperatures here," the brunette notes, "for last weekend."

"What can I say," Mal continues to frown, "I was sick."

"Sick?" the therapist's soft blue eyes peer through her square glasses.

"Just a little cyanide poisoning," she eyes around the room. "No biggie."

The therapist shuts the notebook and hands it back to Mal, "How did that happen?"

"Audrey," Mal tensely smiles. "You know, she just had to set up this truce dinner, and then one of her devoted servants thought he would do the honor of killing me for her safety."

She nods, "And how does that make you feel?"

"It doesn't make me like humans any more, if that's what you're asking." Mal retorts, before she looks her up and down. "What did the court think they would accomplish my hiring you anyway?"

The therapist shifts her head, "That's interesting." before she observes her for a moment. "You have a distrust for humans, and yet you can't tell the difference between humans and other humanoid animals, can you?"

"I don't need to know the difference just by sight or smell," Mal evenly responds. "Humans give themselves away just by being so self-assured, self-centered, and thinking they know everything."

"That may be," she looks at her intently, "but I think it would be beneficial for you to know that I'm not human, not really. Technically speaking, I'm a witch— which legally speaking falls under the category of human— but most people still see a difference."

Mal straightens up in interest, "So… you can like feel energies and stuff?"

"I can sense auras of people and energies of places, yes," she explains, "but I also have the rarer gift of telepathy."

"Telepathy?" Mal raises an eyebrow.

"People call it mind reading, but it's really just surface thoughts," she clarifies, "and I don't have complete control over it. It's harder to hear someone's thoughts when they're thinking in images or with feeling, and when it does occur it does just sound as though someone is talking to me." She smiles, "It actually got me into a lot of trouble in my youth."

"What kind of trouble?" Mal questions.

The therapist grins, "Another time, maybe. I think it's your turn."

"My turn for what?"

"To share." She explains, "I disclosed my heritage to you, because I feel like it will help you be more honest with me. So, now, I would like you to be more honest."

"Can't you just read my mind?" Mal frowns again.

She takes a moment, "Surface thoughts can help me know if you're lying or if there's something really bothering you— like your court-appointed therapist being human, for instance— but most things are deeper. The point of therapy is to help you through issues and to help you understand why you do or think things. If it was as simple as reading your mind, then there probably wouldn't be any issues to solve."

Mal glances down, "But we have to talk about why I don't trust humans. That's what you were told to do. I can't just talk about whatever."

"If you have problems that may be correlated or related with your lack of trust for humans, then it might be worth discussing those issues; however, since humans are the majority of the population I think it's very important that you learn to trust them or not to be afraid of them." Mal's eyes shift. "Do you think you could be afraid of them?"

Mal faces her, "I think my lack of trust isn't just for humans. It's for everyone." before she raises an eyebrow. "Is it possible to be afraid of everyone?"

"Do you think it is?"

Mal looks down, "I just… I don't see what the issue is with being careful." before she pierces her eyes up at her. "Why can't I just be allowed to be careful?"

She frowns, "There's a difference between being careful and being offensive. Now, it's natural for people to fight what they fear, but it would be unwise of you to group all humans or all people as dangerous."

"I trust my friends," Mal retorts. "That's good enough."

"And how is it you're able to trust your friends," the therapist calming continues.

"Because," Mal immediately responds, but then she falters. "They've been there for me. They've helped me through things. We helped each other." She shifts her eyes, "We kept each other alive. We're safe together, and we're strong together."

"Safe from what?" the therapist inquires.

"What?"

"You said that you're safer together, that you keep each other safe," she clarifies. "Safe from what?"

It takes Mal a minute to reply, "Everything. When we're together we are strong enough to withstand anything, and we are safe from everything."

"Is there any specific thing or event that comes to mind?" she softly questions.

She shrugs, "No. Not really." before she eyes down for a second. "We've never really been safe… It's, uh, hard to pinpoint stuff." Her mind flashes to Hook and a breath escapes her, "Or, at least anything… you know, relevant."

"Do you remember how you met your friends?"

"What does that matter?" Mal slightly shakes her head.

"It helps create a picture," she explains. "When did you first meet your friends?"

Mal thinks for a second, "Well, I've just about always known Jay. Our parents have been hooking up for at least ten years now… or, at least they were before my mom got all tiny and caged up." She leans back and rests a leg on her knee, "I met Evie a little after I left Uma's gang." She looks down for a moment, "I first saw her at school, back at Dragon Hall. She had been homeschooled before then… or self-taught maybe. I don't know." and then she slightly smiles. "It's just, she had this shining blue hair— it was lighter back then— and she seemed so hopeful… She never really talked, but she always seemed hopeful. And she was smart, really smart." Mal grins, "You never would've guessed that she'd never attended a school before."

The therapist notices her frown again, "What is it?"

"Um," Mal begins, before taking in a deep breath. "I just think that… that she might have been more hopeful before she met me."

"Why's that?"

Mal hesitates, "I… I think I make her miserable." and her mouth is open for a moment before she continues. "Like, either I remind her of what she can't have or…" She makes a face, "Or I'm just so unhappy that I make her unhappy." and then she looks down at her folded hands. "I ruin everything… for everyone."

"I'm sure that's not true," the therapist attempts to comfort, but Mal only sits in thought. "Has she ever said anything to indicate that to you?"

"No," she whispers. "It's just how she acts." She remembers Evie getting all excited one moment and then being let down the next, "She will give me reasons for why everything is so good and perfect, but—" Mal sadly laughs, "Of course, I have to be all complicated and everything. Nothing can ever just make me happy. Something always has to be wrong." before she lets out a long breath. "And she's so great to me, you know— they all are— and… for some reason I can never just say how much I care." She feels the back of her eyes burn, "I could never just tell someone that I love them. Not even Ben, and he says it a lot. Like, a lot, and… I can never just say it back."

"Why do you think that is?" she questions.

Mal slightly shakes her head, "Maybe because… there's just no way it could last." and then she feels the tears flow to the front of her eyes. "It's, uh, just not going to last. Something's going to go wrong like it always does. Either that or he's going to finally see how unperfect I am, the terrible baggage and flaws I have." She looks back down at her hands and twists the ring he had given her, "He's not the most happy person either. He says he needs me, that I'm his light." before she looks back up at her. "But what if I just make his life worse? What if I end up making him even more unhappy or stressed?" She uneasily breathes, "What if in the end I'm what makes his life unbearable, that from everything that's in it, I'm the thing that makes him break?"

The therapist pauses, "I want you to think about what you just said." as she scoots to the edge of her seat. "You question if you're the thing that makes him break. For that to happen, that would mean that he already has pressures in his life that have nothing to do with you." She points up her green pen, "You see, there's a common phrase used in instances that you're describing, and that phrase is 'the straw that broke the camel's back'. Now, people like to blame the straw in that analogy for breaking the camel's back, because it was the last thing on the camel's back; however, the straw was not the most stressful thing the camel had to endure. It also had to have people riding it with bags and water jugs. If in the end the camel breaks, it would not be your fault just because you also happened to be in that camel's life."

"He would still break," Mal frowns.

"And maybe," the therapist suggests, "you are the light that can help him back up." Mal stays quiet. "That doesn't make you feel any better."

"No," Mal confirms, and she almost laughs. "I'm not a light. I don't even have a light in my life. The only luck I've ever had is that kind that happens when a bad situation could've been way worse, but it's still really bad… I can't be his light. I can't be the thing that keeps him going." She huffs in disbelief, "I can barely even keep myself going."

"What do you mean?" she frowns in concern.

"Just what I said." Mal repeats, "I can barely even keep myself going. If anything, Ben is the one keeping me going." before she half laughs. "He's actually saved me from two suicide attempts so far: the first from when I tried to drown myself and the second from when… well, I don't know if I should be saying this here, right now, but the second time I was purposely just trying not to be heated." She furrows her brows in contemplation, "No. It wasn't that I was trying not to be heated." before she meets the therapists eyes. "I just didn't want to take heat from anyone after… you know, what happened." Mal thinks, "After all, if I can't even do something as simple as make my own body heat, then why am I still alive?"

"Different species have different needs," the brunette tries to reason. "Just because you need to find heat from your environment, that doesn't make you any less of a person."

"Can't drink water either," Mal notes. "You know how common water is?" She grins, "It's everywhere. It's in everything humans make to eat and drink. And I can't have it." She sees the therapist about to speak and then places both feet onto the floor, "I realize I'm probably exaggerating a little… but it's still a lot."

"It's not that," she reassures. "It's just that it's getting close to the end of the hour, and I would like to finish up the conversation about the poisoning."

Mal looks off, "I thought that was finished."

She hesitates, "You said that Audrey's servant poisoned you. Does that mean you know who it is?"

"Ben has his information," Mal nods.

"And will you be pressing charges?" she inquires. Mal shakes her head. "Why not?"

"I survived," Mal plainly states. "I just really want to move on."

She takes a moment, "You may say that, but things like this don't just go away. It's still going to impact you on a psychological level, and you really should get closure."

"As far as I'm concerned," Mal counters, "my closure happened when I going through the molting process for the second time in two months." She sees her discontent. "What am I supposed to do? Go back to court? Testify? It's my word against his, and I'm just the monster that attacked poor Princess Audrey."

"You don't think Audrey would stand up for you?" she questions.

"If Audrey were smart, which for a human she is, she would mind her own business."

"But didn't you just say the two of you had a truce?" she asks.

Mal's quiet for a moment, "I don't know what went down at Audrey's place, but I doubt it was a truce… or, at least, not entirely. A fake one, maybe."

"Sorry," the therapist cautiously comments, "but you said the truce was at Audrey's?"

"Yeah," she slowly answers.

"Which would be in her kingdom?"

Mal gives a look, "I guess."

"And wasn't one of your court conditions to stay in the kingdom of Auradon?"

Mal's mouth gapes at the realization, "Uh, I think I remember Ben saying something about Audrey okaying it with the court."

"So, if I were to tell the court about this, then they would know?"

Mal lets out a breath, "Please don't. Like I said, Audrey's smart. If I were her, I would have just said I did it and then turned her in if she did anything I didn't like… I didn't see any papers or anything. It's possible she just conned us, now that I'm thinking about it."

"I'll leave the details out of my report," she reassures.

Mal looks down at her notepad, "Is that what you're writing?"

"You don't need to worry," she gestures. "We still have confidentiality. It's just that since this was court-appointed, I need to update them on your progress."

Like my temperatures.

"Yes." She looks back up at her, "But also nonspecific details about why you might hate or fear humans and ways we might help you through that." Mal doesn't speak. "I know this must be frustrating, but it's not just about the safety of others. It's about clearing your mind of this irrational fear, assuming it is irrational, so that you can have less to worry about. Without being so scared, anxious, or possibly even paranoid, you can become a better version of yourself."

"It's not irrational," Mal denies. "Unless, of course, you don't actually think I was poisoned at all, that I just made it up to avoid talking about other things."

She's quiet for a moment, "I don't doubt anything." before her eyes peer up at the wall clock. "I hope you found this session beneficial. I'll see you next week."

Mal glances at the clock, before she stands from her seat, "See ya."

"Oh. And Mal." She turns around and sees the therapist smiling at her. "Take care of yourself." Mal doesn't say anything back, merely observing her before walking out of the room.