The Central Park Zoo
Christmas Eve
(Skipper's POV)
The bell on top of the zoo clock tower was tolling "o come all ye faithful". The zoo patrons were leaving the the snow-covered zoo as the bell tolled. Alice closed and locked the gate after the last of the guest left for the night. Alice flipped over a sign that read "closed for Christmas" and then skipped off. I watched Alice left from my lookout post and pulled out my walkie talkie, "Gentlemen, we are a go-ho-ho!"
Everyone ran to the gate their excitement clearly visible. "I can't believe it's here!" Marlene shouted "I'm so excited!" "it's another year already?" someone else asked. "I can't wait," Elsa said. "All right, people," I said, "Time to jangle the jingles and Kriss the Kringles. We are t-minus 14 hours to Kidsmas." All the young animals from central park cheered in excitement. "Mr. Skipper penguin, is the kidsmas really here?" Eggy said (I REFUSE TO CALL HIM JJ!) "You bet your downy derriere," I said. "but not till morning," Private said. Kowalski walked up to the young animals, "So, skedaddle those eager britches on home now." "aw!" they said as they left. "No Peeking," Elsa said.
"Excuse me?" Roger said, "Hi. So Kidsmas. I'm confused. This relates to Christmas how exactly?" "Kowalski, get the reptile up to speed," I said. Kowalski pulled out a whiteboard with a calendar drawn on it. He pointed at this weekend with a stick, "Well, roger, every year the Central Park Zoo closes from Christmas Eve to the morning of December 26th" "Also Known as Boxing Day!" Private said. "We're not interested in your made-up holidays," Private said. "Kowalski…" Elsa muttered, "tell him…" "Actually Skipper," Kowalski said, "Boxing day is a European holiday that is celebrated in great Britain, Canada, Australia, and New Zealand…among others…" "Is it a holiday in America?" Skipper said. "Well…no…but…" "Explanation denied!" I said. "Aw," Private said.
"Anyway…" Kowalski said, "We take advantage of this human-free environment to throw a mondo Christmas fiesta for the animal families of Central Park. An event we like to call…" "KIDSMAS!" Rico shouted. "Kidsmas!" all the animal children shouted. "Kidsmas!" Rico shouted. "Tomorrow morning!" Elsa said. "aw," Rico said. "Aw!" all the young animals said. "You know the drill, people. So open those assignment cards," I said. Everyone opened their assigned cards which we agreed upon this morning. "And let's go make this the best Kidsmas ever!"
Unfortunately Julian had to push to the front of the ground. "Hey! Watch out," Bing shouted. "Excuse us! Royalty coming through!" Julian said. "That does not give you the right to be a jerk!" Elsa shouted. "actually yes it does silly penguin lady," Julian said. Julian than stomped up to me, "Hello? Who do I give a talking at if my job is stupid?" Julian said, "And lame?" "Lame?" Private asked, "Children love the gingerbread house…" "Yes, and they also love finding crusty things in their own noses!" Mort blew a Kazoo out of his nose, "Mine had a kazoo!" "How did you…" Kowalski said, "…never-mind."
"I am a King," Julian said, "I demand the most important of all the Kidsmas tasks!" Julian threw his assignment at my face, "Demand denied. Kidsmas is a well-oiled machine with years of tradition," I said, "Mason always dresses up as Zoo Santa…" "Ho Ho Ho…Ho ho ho ho," Mason said. "Burt makes his famous peanutnog…" "The secret ingredient is peanuts," Burt whispered. WE KNOW BURT! "And so on," I said, "We're not swapping assignments the night before the big event. End of story." "Oh really?" Julian challenged, "What happened to the freedom of changing? What happened to the rights of the peoples!" Since when do you care about the rights of the people "King" Julian. "Thought this was France!"
"America," Maurice corrected. "No, really. I seriously thought this was France. I've been looking for some decent crepes for, like, three months." Bada grabbed Julian by the head and said, "Yo, Hey. The little guy's got a point." "yeah, I'm sick of doing the same job every year," Bing said. "Yes, the pressure of the lead role is rather brutal…" Mason said. "yeah, different!" the crowd shouted. Look what you did Julian…and we were ahead of schedule too… "We're on an overnight deadline, people!' I shouted, "There's no time to…" Julian cut me off by taking the assignment card in my flippers and then everyone else's, "Yes! Let's mixy-mix the Kidsmas!" Julian said.
Bing grabbed a garbage can and emptied the garbage onto me, "Hey!" I shouted. Bada shook up the can full of cards before roger took one. "Hey, music! That's perfect for me!" "All right! I'm on decorations!" Marlene said. "No way…me too…look," Rico said. Phil also got decorations. "Best committee ever," Marlene said. meanwhile Mason got a decoration assignment, "Smashing! I'm on decorations." "No way," Kowalski said, "Me, too. Look!" "Best committee ever!" Burt said.
Julian couldn't be happy with any of them, "No. Lame. Blah. Double blah…Yes! Yes! I will find the Christmas-y tree! Truly there's no job more important than…" "SANTA!" Private shouted. "what?" I said, "Who's playing Santa?" "You are, Skipper. It's the last one left." And then Private said the one thing Julian did not want to hear, "You didn't even pick and you got the most important job of all! How lucky is that?" "Most…Important?" Julian said. Don't worry you can play Zoo Grinch. "Me? Play the Big Red himself?" I said. "And Elsa and I are your jolly little elfs!" Private said.
"I'm a little figgy pudding… I'm a…" I slapped him and said, "Negative! This is holiday anarchy!" "We go down this road, there won't even be a Kidsmas!" Unfortunately for me the children of central park peeked in just in time to hear "won't even be a Kidsmas…" "No Kidsmas?" eggy said. Elsa facepalmed, "Nice going skipper…" "Hey! You weren't supposed to hear that," I said, "I'm just…" They looked at me sadly. "You know what anarchy is, don't you kids?" I asked. I received more sad stares, "We've only got one night, and…" more sad faces was all it took to remind me that Kidsmas is about the kids. I got a Santa hat from Private and put it on while saying, "chins up, soldiers. I've got it covered!" "Yah!" "Hey, all right!" Roger said. "Can you tell I'm excited?" bada said.
"Yeah," Marlene said as the decoration committee walked away, "we should go total rock 'n roll this year. Like sled jumps and flashpots. And Ski punk snowmen who are like, What's up?" She was clearly talking Rico's language as he said, "Yaaaah!' Meanwhile the "decoration" committee had other ideas, "We should go complete Charles Dickens this year," Mason said. "Top hats, monocles, unimpeachable etiquette…" "Kids love etiquette!" Rock n' roll Charle Dickens? What could go possible go wrong with that?" "See?" a young possum said, "Nothing to worry about. It's Kidsmas! Santa magic will take care of everything." "Santa magic?" I asked. "Oh no," Elsa said.
(Roger's POV)
"Gentlemen. It is a thrill to be on the music committee with you guys! So let's warm up a little bit, shall we?" I said. I hit some not on a little piano and sang, "La! La! La! La! La! La!" suddenly a bunch of discordant noise came out of their mouths and reached my ears. Oh this is going to be a long night…
(Skipper's POV)
Zoo Office
A loud annoying noise reached the office, "Private! 86 that caterwaul!" Private obliged by closing a window. "Well Roger has his work cut out for him," Elsa whispered. "Curse you, Internet!" I shouted. "what now," Elsa said. "Twenty-eight thousand cat videos, zero useful information." "that's because your on YouTube," Elsa said as the cat video played. Private clearly thought this was funny as he laughed and said, "We wish you a meow-y Christmas." I don't trust those lazy free-loaders that have their owners at their peck and call. I much prefer dogs as they are not secretly planning to take over the world one human at a time. I glared at him. "I'm sorry, Skipper, but it's just one party," Private said, "do you really need real Santa magic…"
"If Mr. Tub of Jolly has some sparkly, mystic secret, I need to find it, ASAP!" "wouldn't it be easier to ask Santa himself?" Elsa said. "yeah!" Private said, "he'd know." I glared at Private and Elsa and mentally kicked myself for not thinking of It myself. "Don't get up," Elsa said, 'we'll do it for you." "Good thinking, Elsa and Private," I said stopping them both, "Let's slide!" We exited the zoo via our secret exit and slide past the Christmas tree lot Julian was shopping at.
(Julians' POV)
We were looking thru the Christmas tree forest that popped up in central park a few weeks ago. Maurice started listing off different trees, "So I'm thinking the Eastern White Pine," he said. I was unimpressed and sighed. "Or maybe you're more of a Douglas-fir guy. That's cool." I sighed again and was not impressed by the other options, "Norway Spruce?" "Must I…HUH…even louder for you, Maurice?" I said, "It is not the flavor of the tree that is the problem! It is the not-importance of it!"
"I thought tree-choosing was the most important-est job," Mort stupidly asked. Keep up mort! "yeah it was!" I said, "Until the frowny flat-head penguin got a better one. Now we must find the amazing-est tree in the history of Kidsmas!" "You really think we can find a tree like that?" Maurice asked. "Hey, this is New York City, baby! The capital of France! If you can't find it here, you cannot be finding it anywhere!" "I will find the amazing tree, King Julian!" Mort said. Mort ran off only to be kicked into a nearby tree by an unassuming human. "is this one amazing?" Mort asked. It's not going to be the first tree we find Mort!
(Skipper's POV)
I surveyed the sidewalks until I found Santa, "Jolly old Saint Nick in sight," I said, "Now show me your secrets, magic man!" "I don't understand Skipper!" Private said. "Yes. Why the bell ringing, and a tip jar? That just seems crass" "Charity?" Elsa said, "there are salvation army bell ringers." "That's Chicago," I said. "No," Private said, "I mean I don't understand why there are two of them." "What?" I said confirming that there was in fact two of them, "Sweet Secret Service! He's got a body double! That must be some primo magic he's protecting." "Look, they're leaving!" Private said. "Blast! No time to ID which one is the phony," I said, "Private, pin a tail on the Santa Bravo…Elsa and I will be on the Alpha Claus." We went our separate ways and chased after our respective santas.
Meanwhile…
(Julian's POV)
Mort threw himself at a window that had a tree behind it. "Nevermind, Mort," I said, "Your face tried, but the glass just wanted it more." "I'm tapped out, your Majesty," Maurice said, "We've seen real trees, fake trees…" "Toiletries!" Mort said. "…and you keep turning up your nose at all of them." The answer is simply Maurice, "Because none is amazing enough to beat the Santa penguin! I need a tree that sits up, smacks you upon the face and says Christmas!"
"This one says it in 17 languages," Maurice said. "Merry Christmas!" the mini tree said, "
Feliz Navidad!" I picked up the tree, pushed a button, and it said, "Mele Kalikimaka me ka hauʻoli makahiki hou." I gasped as I saw IT. "I found it!" Mort said standing in front of the ugliest tree I've seen all night. It looked like the tree from that Christmas special…Charlie brown…or something. when is the great pumpkin supposed to give me gifts! Who is more sincere then me? Maybe I should tell Christmas Steve on him… "The Amazing tree! I know it is small and ugly," Mort said, "But if somebody was nice to it and loved it, it could grow up to be a beautiful swan. And that is the true meaning of Chinese New Year!" "Christmas," Maurice corrected. "What's a Christmas?" He asked.
"That tree is perfect," I said before kicking the small tree away, "Now move the puny ug tree so I can get a good look at it." And then giant spectacular super-tree was revealed in front of a group of people. "Uh…" Maurice said. "Choppity-chop with the chopping!" I shouted holding up two plastic knives…I mean giant heavy axes. (No it's was really just plastic knives).
(Skipper's POV)
The Santa private was tracking with into a building. As the Santa got off the elevator at the top floor private was scaling the building with candy canes. Right as he reached the top window one of the canes broke leaving Private hanging for dear life from one cane. Private's flipper slipped off but he managed to catch himself by biting down on the candy cane. He managed to get a grip and flipped himself into the building. He than stopped to savor the candy cane for a moment. "Oh…Minty," Private said as he took it out of his beak. Private than saw his Santa walk into a room. Private went right up to the door right as Elsa and I kicked the vent cover down and jumped down from the vents.
"Private?" Elsa said lifting the cover off private. "I thought I put you on Santa Surveillance duty," I said ready to schedule a court Marshall. "I was, Skipper," Private replied, "He went in there." "Impossible! Our Santa went in there," Elsa said. "why even have a body double if you're just gonna hang out in the same room?" I said. "About that…isn't it a bit fishy," Private said, "that Santa's just strolling about on Christmas Eve? With no reindeer? Or sleigh? And he's using an elevator?" Yes where are those scheming no good…NORTH POLERS? "Both fakes?" I said , "How are those two phony Papa Noels tied into this mysterious disappearance?" "Wait, Santa disappeared?" Private asked. "You haven't seen him," Elsa said, "Have you?" "Well, no, but…" Private said, "You don't think…" "No, I act. With maximum force!" I said.
I kicked the door down and Elsa, Private, and I jumped into the room, "Initiate takedown protocol Foxtrot, Private," I said, "You get the first one. I'll handle…" Our eyes went wide with surprise as we found ourselves in a room filled with fake santas. "Oh sugar plums!"
(end of part one)