Some years ago…
Arizona desert
(Skipper's POV)
We were disguised as a cactus and were near a shed in the middle of no where. We hopped forward four inches and then hopped back a inch. We snapped off the tops of the cactus and popped up. Kowalski gasped for air while Rico jumped out of the ground in a defensive position. Kowalski, Private, Elsa, and I jumped down from the top of the cactus while rico put the cactus back. "Rico?" I said, "Weapons check!" Rico then proceeded to check the weapons inside his belly. "Kowalski! Intelligence!" I said. "Substantially above average, but I don't like to brag," Kowalski said. "Not that intelligence!" elsa said. "Oh…the map. Right here." "Private! Snack Cakes!"
"Swiss delight. Nilla crème. And a peanut butter winkey," Private replied. "All right, Let's move in!" I said. As we moved out I pulled Private asided and said, "Private? Dibs on the Peanut butter winky." I slid the lock up and opened the door to the shed. We lined up against the wall, "Easy does it, This could well be a trap," I said. "Rico?" I said. Rico hacked up a coin and handed it to me. I flicked the coin and we watched as it rolled around before it settled in the middle of the room. A hydrolic lift quickly slammed a hidden trap door with spikes into the ceiling. "well played Skipper," Kowalski said as the trap returned to it's resting spot with a hiss. "Well, it seems Dr. Blowhole isn't a smart as he thinks he is…Ahhhh!" I shouted as the entire shed fell into the earth.
The shed landed in blowhole underground lair the side falling to the ground on impact. We were stuck between the spike on the roof of the shed. "Now that was unexpected," Elsa said. Private looked at the winky which was impaled on one of the spikes. "I don't think the peanut butter winky made it, Skipper," Private said. Blast! "Curse you Blowhole!" I shouted. Suddenly the spikes retracted and we fell to the ground. We slid forward and got into defensive positions right as the shed was lifted back up.
Dolphin sounds filled the air and we turned to face the river of water that lead to the ocean. Dr. blowhole himself swam towards us Spotlights turning on as he approached. Blowhole rose out of the water while making Darth Vader Breathing noises. "Blowhole," I replied. "Well, Pen-gu-wins!" Blowhole said, "We meet once again." "Well, well, blowhole. It's been a long time." "Well, well, well," blowhole said, "Too long." "Well, well, well, well…" "Enough!" Blowhole shouted as he exited the water on his scooter.
We all eyed him suspisously. "I suppose you are wondering why it is that I have laid a ridiculously complicated trap for you." "Actually, yes, I am," Private said putting his flipper up. We all glared at him. "Why tell when I can show? You'll appreciate this, Kowalski" Blowhole said as he pushed a button, "I have installed a lair theater system." The speakers raised out of the floor while a big screen lowered from above. "High definition with surround sound. Extremely spendy." "Why do bad guys always get the good stuff?" Kowalski said. "Hey, hey, hey. Eyes on the big screen. See?" On the screen was a picture of a lobster. "Delicious dipped in butter," I said, "what's you point?"
"Now imagine if this crustacean had an exoskeleton of…" the image changed to a blueprint image with the claw in red, "Shiny metal!" "Pen-gu-wins, I present…" Blowhole hit a button and a ridiculously deep voice said, "CHROME CLAW!" "Hmm…Did you feel that subwoofer?" "He's is just rubbing my face in it." "He has big speakers. Who cares," Elsa said. "Without you pen-gu-wins around to foil my plans, I will unleash…" "CHROME CLAW!" "…on a unsuspected world! With this mutant monster at my side, I WILL RULE LAND AND SEA!"
Blowhole then started to laugh evilly only to lose his balance and fall over. Blowhole managed to get back up and recompose himself. "Um…back up to the without you part please," Private said. "We get the gist," Elsa said. "Rico!" I shouted. Rico hacked up our entire arsenal. But before we could access out weapons cache a huge manget descended from above and sucked up all of our weapons. The Manget rose back up into the ceiling and a hatch closed cutting us off from our equipment. A bunch of lasers activated and cocked as they aimed at us. "Uh-oh," rico said.
"We got us a laser show, team!" I said. "He's going to have a clever oneliner isn't he," Elsa said. "who's foiled now?" Blowhole asked before the lasers fired at us. We dodged the laser blots and Private and I ended up in a safe corner. "Foiled?" I said as Kowalski, Rico, and Elsa contiuned to dodge lasers. "Private! Snack Cakes!" I shouted. "Is this really the time to…" "Private!" I shouted. Private tossed me the Nilla cream and I used it to deflect one of the laser beams. Blowhole ducked and the laser whizzed past his head. I tossed the foil wrapped cake to Rico who deflected a beam back at one of the lasers which exploded behind blowhole. "Say what?" Blowhole said.
Private jumped into the air and tossed the swiss delight, "Kowalski!" He shouted. Kowalski jumped and the grabbed the cake in midair and threw it into blowhole's…well…blowhole. Blowhole started to suffocate as he tried to take it out. "Aspirate Swiss Delight Bottlenose!" Kowalski said. Blowhole fell over back into the water while we started to high-one each other. Suddenly Blowhole rose out of the water in a glass bubble, "This is the last you'll see of Dr. Blowhole!" Blowhole shouted. "Good Run!" I said. "You think…I mean…This is the last you'll see of ANYTHING!" Blowhole then laughed evilly as he exited thru an escape hatch in the ceiling. "Oh," I said. "SELF DESTRUCT IN…"
Present Day
(Private's POV)
"Five Seconds!" I said, "That's right we had only Five Seconds! But we escaped with half a second to spare. It was a ripping adventure!" "Oh…so a dolphin super-villian," Marlene said, "I totally believe you!" "No really Marlene he's out arch-enemy! Pure Evil!" I replied, "with skin that is surprisely pleasant to the touch!" "Look I have the mission file to prove it!" I said bringing out the file and placing it on the table. Skipper appeared from nowhere, "Whoa whoa whoa whoa ha ha ha whoa ha ha!" Skipper said, "That's top secret, Private. Eyes only. My eyes! I'm not even sure about your eyes. Let alone her eyes!" "Actually, Skipper," Elsa said as she hoped onto the table with Kowalski, "These files are declassified now."
"Pinhead pencil pushers," Skipper said, "They have no idea." Skipper dropped the folder on the table and a bunch of mission file pictures fell out (because we can't read or write). "They're... They're nice," Marlene said, "Look, I know you guys do your commando thing around here, and you do it, you know…well. But, Come on. I mean. Secret Lairs? Chrome Claw? Superspy stuff? Please…"
Suddenly Julian showed up, "Did you say spy? I'm a spy! I've been sping on you this whole time." Julian snapped his fingers and Maurice pushed a chair up. Maurice than continued to push it while Julian pretended it was a car. "I could have a fancy spy car that can shoot things out of the headlights…No….fog lights. They won't expect that." "You, Ringtail?" Skipper said, "Facing the likes of Dr. Blowhole? He's pure evil, with skin that's surprisingly pleasant to the touch. You wouldn't last five minutes." "Correction he won't last five seconds," Elsa said. Suddenly the bell on the clock tower started to toil. "Oh, dear, We're open!" I said. We dispersed and returned to our habitats.
As the guest started to flow in Julian returned to his throne and said, "I still say I could be a spy guy." "somebody wrapped me in seaweed," Mort mumbled before falling in front of julian's feet. "Mort, If this is a ploy to get to the royal feet, it's very clever…but ineffective!" Mort tried to warn julian about something but he ignored him. "What is that on you, anyway?" Julian said, "You smell like the fishweed…" Mort ran off as a unseen attacker charged. "Who the hecks are you?" "Nooo!" Julian shouted as he was taken.
Penguin Habitat
(Skipper's POV)
Elsa, Rico, Kowalski, and I were smiling and waving. I noticed that private was not joining in, "Private." "Sorry, Skipper," Private said, "I'm not feeling very cute or cuddly today.' "Oh stop," Elsa said, "You're always cute and cuddly and you know it." "I'm just cheesed that Marlene doesn't believe in Dr. Blowhole," Private said. "better that she doesn't Private," I said, "Imagine if she blabbed and that mad doctor discovered our secret Zoo H.Q…" Little did we know that Blowhole's minions had just located out Secret Zoo H.Q.
Dr. Blowhole Lair, Coney Island
(Blowhole's POV)
"Dr. Blowhole!" Red one said, "Satellite targeting has a lock on the enemy…AND….they are subway convenient!" I turned around and laughed evilly, "Excellent Work Red one!" I said, "Prepare Pen-gu-win Tranmission!"
Penguin HQ
(Skipper's POV)
"Penguins! I have found you!" "Blowhole!" I shouted. we bursted into the base…we'll deal with the people later. "where is he?" "Greeting, My flightless foes," blowhole said from our Tv. "Oh…he's only on the TV," Kowalski said. "Get off our TV!" I said. "I have been spying on you pen-gu-wins for months with state-of-the-art lookie-loo technology!" "Always gets the good stuff!" Kowalski shouted banging his head on a wall. Blowhole look perplex at Kowalski's behavior. "Yeah, he's fine. Go on," I said.
"Right…" Blowhole replied, "Anyway, I have unmasked your Achilies heel, Skipper. Your greatest vulnerability, aside from the flightlessness." "You fiend! You've cut off the peanut butter winky supply lines!" "What…no," Blowhole said, "but somebody write that down!" In the background we could hear snapping as somebody tried and failed to pick up a pencil. "I have stuck the crueiest blow of all," Blowhole said, "I assure you, Skipper, Your World will be rocked. life will be drained of meaning. For…I…have…captured…YOUR BEST FRIEND!" "Help!" Julian said as Blowhole laughed evilly.
"Ringtail?" I said. "I have been king-napped! By ninja shellfish. This is outrageous…and a little embrassing, quite frankly." "You think he's my best friend?" I said. "Skipper, don't play coy with me…" Blowhole said, "My brain's bigger than your whole body!" "Physically impossible!" Kowalski shouted. Blowhole then showed footage of that night in joey's habitat and the event that lead to the Fun day disaster. "Look at you too! Obvious BFFs!" "Kowalski! Decode!" I said. Kowalski pulled out his decoder and started to go thru possible meanings, "Buffalo Fire Fighter…no. Baby fat flinger…no…" "Give me that," Elsa said as she cranked the decoder, "Best friends forever!" "Ah!" Kowalski said.
"Your stark raving mad!" I shouted. "Rude!" Elsa said while Kowalski got sad. "Um…not you Kowalski…and elsa…Him…" "Let's not be making him madder…" Julian said. "This time I will triumph. Just try and stop me and your fuzzy little buddy sleeps with the fishes!" Blowhole laughed evilly and then the message cut out. "Technically, fish don't sleep. So much as rest. You'd think a dolphin would know that…" Kowalski said, "Unless he means…urghhhh." "Can you believe that Blowhole?" I said, "Fuzzy little buddy." "You and Julian do spend a good bit of time together," Private said. "Quality time!" Private said. "um hmmm." Rico said. "Ringtail and I are not friends, case closed," I said, "That said, let's go rescue him!"
Everyone gave me knowing looks, "What? It's the penguin's way!" "A penguin never leaves his fuzzy little buddy behind," Private said. "Private," I said, "You'll find sarcasm is more effective if you don't giggle it out like a naughty school-girl Private!" "Right, Sir," Private said. "One thing doesn't add up," Kowalski said, "If julian is missing…why hasn't anybody actually missed him?" hmmm….
Lemur Habitat
We went to the lemur habitat and gave the remaining lemurs a big surprise. "Whoa! Skipper! Why so jumpy?" Maurice said. Mort was touching Julian feet which set off alarmbells in my head. "Mort?" I said. "what?" "Why is he letting you touch his feet?" I said. "It's not because he's a fake King Julien." "you know come to think of it," Maurice said, "the king has been a little low maintenance." Maurice then turned his attention to Mort, "Mort is there something you haven't told me?" "Only that Ninja Lobsters tied me in kelp and replaced the real King Julian with this one that lets me touch his feet. Why?"
Maurice and I turned out attention to the fake Julian's head. "Is that all?" Maurice said. Suddenly the fake Julian's head started to spin around with glowing red eyes. "Glowing Red Eyes?" Elsa said. "That's almost never good," I said jumping into action flipping the royal lounge chair over sending the fake julian flying. There was a loud explosion sending a light crashing down. "My car!" a man shouted. One of the feet landed by Mort who excitely said, "Yah!" but as soon as mort touched the feet he got zapped and went unconscious. The head landed by Kowalski, "Kowalski, run a trace." Kowalski tasted his flipper which was on the head, "Picking up salty sea air, roller coaster grease, and all beef wiener…with mustard." "Coney Island," I said. "Subway convienent at least," Private said. "No they'll be expecting that," I replied.
Penguin HQ
(Kowalski's POV)
The Five of us donned our Jet Packs and lined up on top of our habitat. "Commence Butt wiggling now," Skipper said, "Wiggle butt!" We began butt wiggling to build up pressure in the carbonated soda bottles on our backs. "Carbonation agitation reaching critical level and…" Our Jet Packs fired and I said, "Lift off!" We then got blasted into the air and began our flight to Coney Island.
Dr. Blowhole's Lair
(Blowhole's POV)
I laughed evilly as Red One feed me fish. Suddenly my evil laughing was interrupted by my prisoner laughing. What why is is out of his cage? "Question: Why are we laughing?" I turned to my minions, "Question: How did the prisoner escape?" Suddenly the lemur jumped onto my head. "The Prisoner escaped?" He said, "Is he dangerous?" "No," I said, "And apparently he isn't very bright." "Oh, I know the type." He said as he jumped down onto my control panel, "So, Let's talk." The Lemur was now on my face blocking my vision as the scooter sped forward.
"I can't see!" I said. "Then I will be your eyes. Turn left. Turn right. Then do a loopy move." "Get off me!" I shouted. The lemur did get off me moment before the scooter crashed. "Ah-ha! See? We make an excellent team." "What?" I said. "I am willing to overlook your fishiness," He said. "A dolphin is not a fish! I am all mammal, I assure you." "If you say so…" the lemur replied, "Fishyface." How dumb is this guy? "No, Really. Why do you think I have this hole in my head?" "Oh," the lemur replied, "Yeah, I was trying not to stare at that." "To breath!" I shouted, "Oxygen! Mammal!" "Then you and I are much alike." "Oh please," I said, "Lobsters!"
The lobsters came to help me back on my scooter but… "Ow! You're pking me!" I said. "Can't help it, doc," One of the lobsters said while snapping their claws. I knew I should have hired those octopi! "Yo-hoo!" the lemur said, "My hands are all soft. And look at that, what is this? Thumbs! Two of them! They make my hands handy for picking things up." "Does he have to rub it in?" one of the lobsters said. I crossed my flippers, "Fine," I said. The lemur pushed me up a little bit but then stopped. "Oh," He said, "Your skin is surprisingly pleasant to the touch. "Always make time to moisturize," I replied. The lemur pushed me up some more as the lobster brought the scooter up to me.
Once I got back up on the scooter the lemur said. "So, I have a proposal for you," He said, "Not the marriage kind of proposal. A different kind." "Hold that thought!" I said before turning to red one to get another fish. But another fish didn't come. Red one looking to his bucket and to his horror found it empty. "I'm on top of it, Doc," Red one said. You better be or your going into that big pot of boiling water in the back…
Coney island
(Skipper's POV)
We flew over the city as we approached coney island. We flew over the amusement park until we reached the Aquatheater. We ditched our packs and landed amoung the bleachers. "Oh," Private said, "The Splash Zone. Good seats." We then jumped away and bellyslid towards the back of the Aquatheater. Meanwhile down below a lobster opened the hatch for fish. One fish slid down the ramp and into the bucket. "Come on! Come on!" He shouted, "Boss man needs a treat!" The five of us sped down the hatch knocking the lobster aside, "Help!" he shouted as we knocked him out. Elsa, Private, Kowalski, and I got into defensive positions as Rico decided to have a snack.
We found ourselves above a walkway where two lobsters were patrolling. I gestured at Rico who nodded to indicate that he understood my hand signals. Rico jumped down right as the lobsters turned away from each other. He grabbed them by the tails and smashed them into each other knocking both lobsters out. "Nice work. Let's find Ringtail." Private looked across the base and saw him, "There he is!" Private shouted. We jumped down from the walkway and belly-slid over to the other side of the base. Right as we reach Julian he fell down a trap door and then reappeared on a red scooter. "Hello, Slap-happy penguins!" Julian said.
"He doesn't look very captured does he?" Elsa said. "Not even a little." Suddenly a metal panel raised up from the ground and we got locked in metal restraints. Blowhole rolled up from the darkness and said, "That would be a horrible way to treat my partner…" "In crime!" Julian said. The pair then laughed evilly.
(end of part one)