You Never Learn
(Day 87: Tuesday Afternoon)
When Audrey opens the door Ben sees her open grin, but after she turns her head it falls into a deep frown, "Ben?"
"Hey, uh." He clears his throat, "So, at the tax dollar event someone brought to my attention that their church offers little more than shelter for the homeless, and I was thinking with you being religious and all, that maybe you would know how to spread your church's charity to his? And, uh, you know, have a charity there, perhaps?"
"Okay," Audrey slowly says before looking him up and down. "Which one?" He hands her the paper. "It's a different denomination, but I'll see what I can do."
"Thank you."
When the conversation fails to continue but Ben doesn't leave, Audrey sasses with wide eyes, "Can I help you?"
"It's just." He wets his lips and looks around the hall, before he faces her, "I know things weren't… great with us before things ended." Audrey looks away from him. "But, I suppose, I guess I still thought that we, that we were okay."
She gives him a look, "We are okay, Ben. I've already forgiven you."
He glances down for a moment, "If things are really okay between us, then why did you confront Mal about me?"
"Because," Audrey reasons, "monster or not girls have to stick together, and as a Christian it was my job to make sure she was safe."
"I think as a Christian it's your job to do whatever your boyfriend tells you," Ben reminds her, "but okay."
She narrows her eyes at him, "You really know how to make a girl feel good about herself." before she shuts the door on him.
"Wait," he urgently says as he takes a step forward, and his eyes shut, as the door becomes inches away from his face, letting out a frustrated breath and kicking it before turning and placing a hand to his forehead. "Maudit." He notices a few stares and then frowns, before he turns around and readjusts his tie as he strides down the hall.
When the door opens he offers the drink to her, "I would like to try this again."
Audrey eyes between the coffee and him, "It's ten pm. I don't need a latte."
"It's decaf," he reassures, and he sees her hesitance. "Please."
She takes the drink, "Come on in."
He looks around for a place to sit, "Why don't girls have tables?"
"Probably for the same reason we don't have videogames," she surmises before turning around to face him. "So, what are you planning to say now?"
He lets out a breath, but before he can explain himself he notices her roommate, "This is really meant to be a private conversation."
"After you nearly knocked our door down earlier?" Audrey disbelieves.
"You're exaggerating," he can't help but interrupt.
She stares at him, "You think so?" and when he doesn't respond she eyes towards the door. "Why don't you check it out, then?" She watches him turn around to walk towards it, "You know, you say I'm exaggerating or overreacting a lot. At least this time I have proof." before she notices him examining the wrong area. "On the bottom."
Ben crouches down and then sees it, placing his hand to the nearly broken-off bottom hinge. He stands back up and turns around, wetting his lips, "I can fix that."
"I don't need you to fix it," Audrey steps towards him. "I need you to stop it." She glances down at her latte, wrapping her hands around it, "You need help."
"I'm fine," he slowly states.
"No. You aren't, Ben," she responds with narrowed eyes. "Pushing people away, insulting them and pointing out their flaws, and now this violent behavior."
"Kicking at a door is hardly violent," he quickly defends.
"I took the same classes you did," Audrey points out. "You think I don't know what violence or abuse is when I see it?"
"I kicked the door. I didn't kick it down." Ben rationalizes, "There's a difference."
"Not when it ends the same. Not when it feels the same," she asserts. "Okay? I know—"
"You don't know anything," Ben yells. "You've never been abused, you don't know what real violence is, and I bet you still wouldn't know the difference if it hit you in the face."
She takes a step back from him and points to the door, "Out."
Ben's mouth gapes in realization, "I didn't mean it like that."
"I said get out," Audrey slowly seethes.
Ben begins to say more, but at the sight of Ruby he lets the breath escape and turns to open the door. He steps out, and when Audrey comes over he whispers, "I'm sorry."
"You're always sorry," she frowns, and then he looks off. "Tell me. What, exactly, is stopping you from doing this to Mal?"
He frowns back at her, "I promised her I wouldn't."
"Like you promised me?" Audrey raises her eyebrows, before she watches him wet his lips again. "You never learn, do you?"
Ben glances down before facing her, "I suppose, I don't."
She observes him for a moment, "I really think you should get help, take anger management classes—"
"This isn't anger," he softly asserts.
"Anger. Depression. Whatever," Audrey deducts. "My point is you need help." She sees him about to deny it, "You can't possibly run a country like this."
"I've been doing perfectly fine so far, haven't I?" he retorts.
"That's only temporary," she monotones. "Your father's anger helped keep people in line while your parents were uniting the kingdoms, but can you honestly tell me that it helps now?"
It takes him a minute to confess, letting out a breath, "Audrey." and he glances down before meeting her eyes. "My father… It's different than what I'm going through."
"And what are you going through?"
He hesitates, "Things have just been hard."
"Life's hard for everyone," Audrey dismisses. "It doesn't give you the right to take away a person's self-worth."
He observes her for a moment, "I know."
She eyes the cup in her hand, "Thanks for the drink." and tries to smile. "Night, Ben."
He continues to frown, "Night, Audrey." before he watches the door slowly click shut.
- Just out of curiosity, who do you sympathize with in this chapter? If I wrote it right, then you should be able to see both sides; however, I would very much like to hear who you feel for more here. Personally, I feel more for Ben, but that might just be because I know what his life is and will be like.
Posted: 11/02/2018