Puffgirl1952 the 2nd: twists are necessary in a fanfiction XD

JaydBlaze: thank you very much for your enthusiasm and support! I hope you'll like this chapter as well

Enjoy!

Chapter 7: New feelings

He was lying on his back on the wooden surface, arms spread on his side, hanging. A pint was in his left hand. He was staring at the ceiling. She could tell he had cried, his eyes were still a bit red and swollen. And he had drunk. A lot.

She removed her hood and stopped a few steps away from him.

"I am sorry," she said in a weak, throat-tightened voice.

Her throat and her heart were tightening so hard it pained her, but she didn't wince.

"Callan's mother," Lothar said as he continued to stare at the ceiling. "She died in childbirth. I blamed him for it, for years. I'm not going to blame you".

He finally moved and stood up against the counter, the pint still in his hand. He looked at her. She saw something new in his eyes, beside the pain and the loss. She approached him, put her hand on his neck and rested her cheek against his, embracing him.

"He was so young," he said with his voice almost breaking.

She caressed his cheek with her thumb, and stood on her tiptoes to kiss his temple lightly. She trailed down kisses on his jaw line to the corner of his lips and stopped, unsure. She acted mechanically, she didn't think about it. He grabbed her hand and put it on his chest, still holding it. Their faces were inches away. They were looking right into each other eyes.

"In my entire life, I've never felt so much pain as I do now," he said in a broken voice, nearly a whisper.

She just stayed like this, her body pressed against his, eyes lost in his. He tilted his head slightly to the side, like he was about to say something. She stayed still, a storm of emotions swirling inside of her.

Then he roughly crashed his lips on hers, his free arm sneaking around her waist and pulling her closer, his other hand on the nape of her neck. She responded instantly, letting her hands roam in his hair. The kiss ended a long moment after, leaving them panting, in need of air, but mostly in need of more. He rested his forehead against hers.

"Are you sure you want this?" he said in a low voice, holding gently the side her face.

"Yes," she answered in the same tone.

"Good".

And he kissed her again, still a bit rough and demanding, but taking more time to taste her lips. They tasted salty, and they were as soft as silk. She let him take the lead, as she had never kissed anyone before and he seemed to perfectly know what he was doing. She liked the feeling, and the sensations. His lips had a sweet taste, like berries. They were rough, strong, and even if they didn't feel soft, there was a softness in the way they moved, the way they acted… Just like him. She felt his hold tightening around her waist, leaving no space between them. He pulled apart for air again.

"Let's go back to the palace," he said.

She nodded, and didn't try to pull her hand free when he grabbed her and led the way. She was a little scared by what might happen next, thrilled because of the new feelings she was discovering, unsure because of him, he was a bit unstable right now, after all that had happened. "But he is a grown man, he knows what he wants" she thought. If he didn't want this, he wouldn't have kissed her. Soon enough they were in the palace and he didn't let go of her hand. They walked past her door but didn't stop, which surprised her.

He stopped in front of a bigger door than hers and closed it behind them. Then she understood, and a bright pink coloured her cheeks.

They were in his room. It was a soldier's room. A big bed on one side, a plain wardrobe, a table and two chairs on the other. His armour and weapons were against the wardrobe. There were no decorations around. But she didn't have much time to look around because as soon as the door was closed, Lothar pushed her against it and kissed her with even more need than before.

His hand travelled up her side and went on her neck. She felt his fingers brushing her skin as he removed her cape which fell silently onto the cold tiles. His hand went back on her waist then and undid her belt. The sound echoed in the room when it hit the floor, but both of them couldn't care less. She was lost in a sea of feelings but before gladly letting herself drown, she did an effort to keep her mind awake and started removing his sleeveless coat, not breaking the kiss in the process.

She felt his small smile against her lips when she finally pushed the coat off of his shoulders. His belt had a complicated buckle, so she pulled apart to get a better look at what she was doing. It took her a few seconds but she eventually got rid of it and let it drop to the floor.

"Come here," Lothar groaned in his low voice.

He pushed his body against hers, trapping her between the door and him, taking control of her lips and her soul again. She managed to sneak her hands between them again and started to untie the lace of his shirt. She started pulling it up, but he grabbed the fabric and pulled it over his head in one swift move. He stood in front of her for a moment.

Her eyes travelled across his torso. You could see the lines of his abs, the toned muscles of his chest and his strong arms, on both side of his body. It was almost as if strength was radiating from him. As well as charisma, and many other things. But his strength is what struck her the most at this moment.

"If you want to stop, say it now. I won't be able to stop in a few seconds," he warned her.

His voice was a bit hoarse and low, only above a whisper, but filled with want and need, clouded almost.

"I don't want to stop," she replied.

Her voice was soft, calm and clear. For the first time in her life she knew in her heart what she truly wanted. She felt like she belonged somewhere, like she mattered for someone. She felt… loved.

They shared a long look. Icy blue eyes against golden eyes. Sharing unspoken words. Sharing trust and kindness.

He removed his boots, so did she. He approached her like a predator, and slightly pecked her lips before tracing her jawline with kisses, going all the way to her neck. He firmly grabbed her behind her thighs and picked her up. She almost squealed, holding onto his neck for balance. She wrapped her legs around his hips and kissed him fully on the lips, trying to make him understand how much she wanted this, him. How much she needed him. She was sure he understood because she felt him move. She was no longer against the door. A second later, he threw her onto his bed, making her laugh. It was the first time she ever laughed. And it sounded beautiful to him.

She didn't really know what was about to happen. Well, she knew, but since she had never been with another male… He quickly climbed above her and kissed her again hungrily, holding her face in his big, calloused hands. He was lying on her, keeping his weight on his elbows so he wouldn't crush her. He suddenly pulled her against him as he rolled, and he sat up so she was sitting on his lap, straddling him in the most appealing way.

He didn't stop to kiss her as his hands travelled up and down her back, making her relax. He slowly moved from her back to her sides, then up her chest and started to remove her shirt. He threw the clothe somewhere in the room, not that they cared anyway. From her lips, he began a journey, down her chin, along her jawline, a small detour to her lobe, down her neck to her cleavage and to the top of her breasts.

His hand grabbed one as his mouth travelled to the other. She jerked her head back with a slight moan when he started playing with her breasts. She felt his devilish grin against her skin. After a while he put her back on the mattress and quickly pulled away her pants, leaving her naked on the sheets. She never felt that exposed in her life, not only physically but mentally. It was like he could see her soul and all her secrets with his piercing, yet soft, eyes. She could see his eyes travelling on all her body, filled with want.

He didn't break the eye contact as he removed his pants and let them fall freely on the ground. She pushed with her hands so she was lying in the centre of the bed, her head on the pillows. He moved so quickly, next thing she knew his body was pressed against hers and his lips were everywhere on her skin, as well as his hands. She couldn't control how her body shivered and responded to his touches and his kisses.

She didn't know what came across her mind, but she grabbed him by the shoulders and pushed him under her, earning an appreciative light moan. She was the one this time that captured his lips, and she started trailing down kisses on his warm skin, all the way to his bellybutton. She then pecked his lips lightly and waited, not knowing what to do.

"You've never done this?"

His voice was a soft whisper. It was more a statement than a question. She shook her head as her eyes shied away.

"No, look at me," he said, grabbing lightly her chin to make her look in his eyes.

She settled her golden eyes in his blue ones.

"I can't lie to you, it will probably hurt," he warned her. "Are you sure you want this?"

She closed her eyes and gave him a light kiss. He swiftly moved her so she was under him, and placed himself between her legs. He took hold of both her hands, pinned on both side of her head, and kissed her passionately as he entered her. She let out a loud cry of pain, muffled by his mouth on hers, and tears escaped her eyes. He didn't want to hurt her, but he couldn't control himself. She was driving him crazy!

The pain lasted a while, and she only felt little pleasure. Sometimes a moan would escape her lips, a louder one when he finally reached his climax. He fell next to her and pulled the sheets on them before and wrapped his arms around her body, pulling her on his large chest.

They didn't say anything and drifted off to sleep.

Not so long after, Lothar woke up. He felt a little cold before opening his eyes. He moved his arms and his eyes shot open when he didn't feel Karandra next to him. He sat up in the bed, his breath becoming quicker as he looked around, panicked. He sighed heavily in relief when he spotted her, standing against the window frame. He took all his time to look at her.

She was naked, bathing in the silver blue light of the stars and the moon, making her look like an angel, a surreal creature coming right out of Heaven. She was beautiful. No, she was so much more than that. She was of course not the classical beauty according to the human society codes, but he didn't care. She had a small and slim body with appealing curves, and all her features looked exquisite in his eyes. And she had an inner beauty, that inner light that made her shine brightly in the crowd.

Then he saw many white lines on her body, without an apparent pattern. He narrowed his eyes a little and realized there were many of them, over her whole body. Scars. She was covered in scars. His eyes widened. How could he not have noticed that before? How could he not see that a while ago, when she was in his arms? He felt guilty. He had been so selfish… He was so caught up in the moment, and after all that happened, he didn't even really look at her. He didn't even really take care of her during it.

He slowly sat up and rubbed his face. He liked her. And he had acted like a selfish, stupid man! Like she was just some girl for one night! She deserved better. She deserved to be treated like a princess, his princess. He blushed when he thought that and shook his head. She wasn't his. She wasn't anyone's in fact.

He grabbed the sheet with his hand and walked silently to her. He stood just behind her, so close, yet not touching her, and wrapped the sheet around her shoulders. She didn't make a single move, but he knew that she was aware of his presence.

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

"For what?" she asked, still not moving.

"I… I acted selfishly. Please, look at me".

She turned swiftly and set her eyes in his. He held both sides of her face.

"I hurt you, and I'm sorry".

"Don't be".

Her voice sounded like she was sad. He mentally cursed himself. Not knowing what to say, he leaned forward and kissed her. It was not a hungry kiss filled with need, it was a slow, passionate kiss showing the want he was feeling. But he wasn't forcing anything. And she loved it. She locked her arms around his neck as she tilted her head to the side, moving closer to him. He moved his arms and scooped her up bridal style.

"Lothar," she whispered. "What are you doing?"

"I want to do it right with you. Do you want it?" he whispered back.

She nodded. He only held her tighter and walked back to the bed. He laid her gently on her back, and lied beside her. He had one arm around her body, and gently held her head with his other hand as he kissed her sweetly. They continued like this for what seemed like hours, before he let his hands roam all over her skin, earning pleasured moans from her.

He moved above her, careful not to weigh down on her, and search her eyes for agreement. He then saw the most beautiful, the most wonderful thing in the world, in all worlds. He saw a real, genuine, happy smile spreading slowly on Karandra's face, and her eyes lighting up. He couldn't hide his own smile as he kissed her again. He held her hand as he entered her once again, careful of not hurting her this time.

A long moment after, her back arched as he tried to kiss her to cover her pleasure shouts. She fell back on the mattress, and he lied next to her with a short-breathed sigh. He frowned slightly when he felt her trembling. He embraced her and pulled her on his chest before covering both of them with a heavier blanket.

"Are you cold? Is something wrong?" he gently asked, truly worrying.

"No, I'm… I've never been better in my whole life," she whispered. "I don't know why I'm trembling, I can't help it, but I'm fine".

He held her tighter and started rubbing her back in a soothing manner. He kissed her forehead as he whispered calming things. Her body eventually settled down and she kissed his nose, making him chuckle. Then he saw her smile, her genuine, happy smile fade a little and was immediately willing to do anything in the world to have it fully back.

"What is it?" he asked her.

"Nothing. I should go back to my room, we have a long day tomorrow," she answered as she moved her legs to stood up.

He reached for her and grabbed her wrist. She quickly turned her head to look at him in the eyes.

"Stay," he only said.

It wasn't an order. It was a prayer. Her smile returned and she lied back. She stayed.