I don't own anything but my ideas.

Amid the Myriad Mangles of the Coming Dark*

Zoro grunted, peeling open his eyes at the sound of something crashing around… around him. Somewhere. It was way too goddamn early. What the hell time was it? Swear to god if the fucking neighbors didn't shut the fuck up—

The door to his bedroom smashed in suddenly, colliding with the wall behind it and creating a crash that echoed around the open apartment. Zoro was awake in a heartbeat, and inwardly he heard someone bellow, "Fuck!" near him but he was too intent on the intruder to care. Zoro wrenched back the covers and lunged for Wado, when suddenly a stray foot caught him across the face and knocked his head back violently. His arms flew up, flailing for something to hold onto as he felt the bed vanish out from under him, and the back of his hand connected with something soft and leathery with a watery crunch.

The last thought through his sleep-ridden brain before he hit the floor was: Oh. Sanji.

"FUCK!" the blond roared, covering his nose tenderly as blood began dripping down his face. Zoro whirled for the door (no small feat with how tangled he was in the blankets he'd taken down with him) only to grind to a standstill.

Killer was standing in the doorway innocently, watching the whole thing unfold in front of him with a little shit-eating grin hidden behind a lollipop in his mouth.

"You gave me a key, remember?" he asked calmly, watching Zoro try to unhook himself from the sheets and Sanji scrabble for something to cover himself, realizing that Killer had no intention of leaving just because they were naked. "I just let myself in. When's breakfast? I've been a little woozy since yesterday."

"Get out!" Zoro yelled, heaving a pillow in his direction, but Killer just ducked casually. Goddamn NSPH reflexes.

Killer pulled the lollipop out of his mouth to gesture between the two of them, smirk growing. "This, uh, a regular thing?"

"Out!" Zoro shot forward, having finally pulled himself out of the covers. Killer let out a whoop before racing back through the door and slamming it behind him, giving himself just enough time as Zoro stopped to yank it back open to launch himself over the balcony and land gracefully in the dojo below, cackling to himself as he disappeared into the kitchen.

Zoro stood in the doorway for a moment as Sanji guffawed to himself behind him, growling to the empty hallway before he slammed the door with a satisfying smash and stalked back over to the bed.

"Little shit," he snarled, tossing the covers back onto the bed.

The cook's nose had stopped bleeding and he was touching it gingerly, snickering at Zoro's tizzy. "We're going to regret giving him that key, aren't we?"

"Already do," Zoro assured him, eyeing Sanji's nose with a weird look as the cartilage put itself back in place with another watery crunch. "…Umm, sorry." He felt compelled to say it even though he wasn't even sure if it was necessary.

Sanji waved his hand and disregarded the apology. "If you're going to have a guard dog, sometimes you might get bitten." He threw back the covers and crossed the room to the closet. "I'm going to get started on breakfast, I'm actually really thirsty too. Want anything in particular?"

Zoro's eyes found the hickeys dotting Sanji's back and chest that were quickly fading and would probably be entirely gone by lunchtime. He sighed inwardly to himself. The marks had always been… a little source of pride for him. He'd have to find something else to put on Sanji, something that wouldn't fade so easily.

"Nah, Killer can pick. Extra blood in mine."

"Oh ha ha, marimo. That gets funnier every time you say it."

-oOo-

477.

478.

"So you guys are like actually a thing now?"

479.

He'd let Sanji answer that one.

480.

Out of the corner of his eye, he could see the glower that Sanji sent him from across the kitchen and all the way into the dojo where he remained silent. The cook finally turned back to the stove and Zoro smirked slightly, curling the weights back up into his chest.

481.

"Yeah, I guess."

"Is that why you got the apartment? How long have you been sleeping together?"

"None of your business," Sanji said casually around his cigarette, sliding the finished eggs—died red for Killer and himself—out of the pan and onto a plate, which he then placed on the upper counter for Killer to eat. Killer pulled his barstool in and grabbed the fork laid out for him, digging in.

They'd only been sharing a room for three days, actually. Conis had decided to stay with Laki instead of Sanji the first night she was here, like everyone thought she would have after their tearful reunion, so that night after getting home from the arena, Sanji had shoved Zoro to the floor and fucked him like no one ever had before. Zoro hadn't been able to walk straight the next day, which hadn't happened since Saga, and Zoro couldn't have been a happier clam.

No one had been dumb enough to ask why Sanji and Conis hadn't stayed together, but Zoro knew everyone was buzzing with questions and they would soon come.

488.

"'Oes 'at mean you're gonna 'ftay for a while?"

"Don't talk with your mouth full. And yeah, I was getting used to being here. Speaking of, we were going to go out and buy a bed for your room here. Do you want to come so you can pick it out?"

Killer gave him an impish grin around a mouth full of eggs. "Why don't I just take your room? Not like you're using the bed anymore."

Sanji flushed a deep red and whipped around to finish Zoro's eggs so Killer wouldn't see, the little shit. He was enjoying this way too much.

493.

"Hey moss head, grub's done."

"Coming," Zoro grunted.

495.

A sharp rap at the door turned everyone's eyes toward the front of the apartment and Zoro groaned silently to himself as Nami pushed the door open with a wide smile.

"Hello? Anyone home?"

"Nami-swan~! What brings you—"

"FOOOOOOD!"

Luffy leapt out from behind Nami and she ducked violently, nearly dropping the bags in her hands and she took a swing as Luffy as he passed for that, screeching at him to be more careful, but he was much too intent on the food. Sanji was already opening the fridge to take out more eggs before he'd had the chance to leap onto one of the stools next to Killer. Luffy's hand shot out for Killer's plate before he was completely seated, and Killer's arm flashed like a bullet and he stabbed the fork into the countertop exactly between Luffy's fingers, halting his advances.

"It's got blood in it, dope," Killer made a face at him and Luffy giggled back sheepishly, sticking out his tongue playfully as Nami joined them with an exhausted sigh. Like it was such a problem dealing with Luffy. Witch.

"You chip that counter, you die," Sanji grunted, spreading out a menagerie of ingredients across the counter. "Nami-swannnnn~! What would you like for breakfast?"

"Anything, Sanji." She took a seat on Luffy's other side. "It smells delicious in here, you can smell if all the way from the elevator."

Zoro set his weights back on the rack with a heavy clank and went to join the rest of the crew at the counter. If Luffy went through all the food, he'd be pissed.

"Your hair's getting long," he commented offhandedly, swiping at Killer's hair. It had always been in his eyes, but recently it seemed like he was growing it out like Willie Nelson. "You need a haircut."

"I like it like this," Killer gave him a quick smirk before returning to his eggs.

"You're going to start tripping over it soon."

"Dad thinks it's cool," he shrugged.

"Kid wears more fucked up things than anyone I've ever seen. Don't take fashion advice from him."

Killer snorted. "He said the same thing about you."

"What do I wear that's weird?! He wears fake fur on a daily basis!"

"That haramaki thing you wear when you fight is pretty weird—"

"IT'S USEFUL! IT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE A FASHION THING!"

Sanji set a plate of eggs down in front of them all and all of a sudden Zoro had to be alert to finish his food before Luffy did. And the breakfast war began. All they needed was—

"We heard that foooooood was being offered~!"

"Cook-bro, it smells so good!"

"I remember when I used to be the chef for the King and Queen of Denmark! The kitchens always smelled this amazing with me around!"

"Really, Usopp? That's incredible!"

And there they were. Killer pushed over so that Chopper could hop up and share his barstool, giving Usopp the last one, and Franky and Brook moved to stand around the crew. Sanji, as if he'd known that this was going to happen, handed them all eggs and then moved to finish with the ham slices he'd started. Beside him, a pile of potatoes was sitting, waiting to be peeled—maybe for hash browns—and Zoro removed himself from the insanity to place his empty plate off to the side and start peeling. The cook managed to send him a grateful look before he had to turn all of his attention to the stove so that he could fend Luffy off from the ham. All they needed was—

"Oh Jesus, no way in hell we're staying," Kid's gruff voice echoed across the room, stating his obvious displeasure.

And there they were.

"You can leave," Law answered easily, crossing the room with a couple bags of groceries in his hands and leaving Kid's almost disgusted expression at the door. "I'm hungry."

"Hey, Dad," Killer nodded and Law nodded back, setting the bags on the counter and placing his hat next to them so he could play with his mussed bangs.

"What's that?" Sanji asked, leaning over just far enough to see into them without leaving the stove unattended. Luffy reached for the ham and Sanji swiped out with his spatula without even looking, snapping him across the back of the hand and he yelped, leaping back onto his stool.

"Killer said you gave him a key. We had to go out anyways and figured we could drop some things off since most likely all he'll be doing here is eating."

"We don't mind feeding him." Sanji pushed open the bags to inspect the food inside, not displeased if his expression said anything. Law had good taste, though he couldn't cook for shit. Kid joined Law at the counter, entirely displeased with the loud atmosphere if his expression said anything. Beside them, Brook was animatedly telling a crowd of engaged onlookers about how he'd saved a damsel in distress once during a song without missing a single beat. Chopper, Usopp, and Luffy's jaws were hanging on the floor. Kid rolled his eyes, but didn't refuse the plate of food Sanji offered him.

"Also, we can bring an old mattress over or something," Law added. "We don't have an extra frame lying around, they take up too much space."

Sanji was about to answer that when Killer cut him off, shaking his head. "I'm going to sleep in Sanji's bed. He and Zoro are fucking."

Zoro blanched and Sanji choked on his cigarette, both whirling to see how much damage control they had to do, but everyone seemed to be too entrapped in Brook's story and hadn't heard him say anything. Zoro grabbed a potato off of the counter and whipped at his head. Killer just barely ducked out of the way so it bounced off Usopp's head, knocking him off of his stool with a loud squawk.

"Killer, shut up!" Zoro yelled.

"What?!" Killer straightened back up, holding up his hands to fend off whatever else came flying at his head. "They don't need to bring a bed over!"

"How exciting," Law said drawly, pulling his plate out of Sanji's frozen hands as the cook tried to calm himself and not make a scene about the amount of smoke he'd inhaled, eye watering slightly. "Saves us that time, at least."

"Good," Kid grumbled, "I hate shopping."

"Knock knock! Hello~?! Can we come in?! We've been knocking for five minutes, I don't think anyone can hear us!"

Good god even with how big enough this apartment was, it still wasn't big enough for—

Zoro ground to a halt as his eyes caught the two new figures at the door. He didn't even have to look to his side to see that the cook had frozen in the kitchen too. Standing in the doorway were Laki—waving happily to everyone with a paper bag adorned with pumpkin with wings—and Conis—who looked like she was fighting with herself not to hide behind Laki or run from the apartment. And then Laki closed the door behind them and trapped her before crossing the room and forcing her to follow.

"Conis!" Nami called happily, leaning over from her barstool to wrap her arm around Conis's neck and pull her close, offering her what was left on her plate. Sanji had resumed his cooking now, and both seemed keen to wait a moment before acknowledging each other. It was three days now since they'd seen each other at the fight. Zoro's stomach still took on that cold knot he'd been forming in situations like this. What a pain in the ass. He grabbed the kettle off the stove and poured himself a cup of hot water before going to search for the tea.

Conis looked up again after a moment of awkward silence between them and slipped away from Nami to steal around the counter, standing next to Sanji's arm while he cut up some cheese slices to go with crackers. She slid her hands into her pockets, back slouching slightly as she waited for him to see her. He did after a moment and they exchanged an uneasy couple of smiles broken up intermittently by glances at the floor or to other sides of the kitchen. Zoro, having just found the tea and witnessed this exchange, turned back to find the honey, deciding suddenly that his tea needed it if he were going to get over this stupid lump in his stomach. What a pain in the ass.

"How are you doing?" Sanji said as he offered her the board of cheese and she took a slice with a grateful and shy smile, nibbling on one of the corners. Sanji turned back to the counter to cut some more slices, hating himself for the expressions she was making. She hadn't been this shy with him for close to two and a half years now. Part of him hated the fact that they had to date at all because now he might lose his friendship with her too.

"Good." She was nodding incessantly, like the movement was the only tick that would get rid of her anxiety.

"That's good."

She nodded again.

Another moment passed between the two of them before she spoke, shuffling awkwardly between her feet. "I just… wanted to make sure you knew that there were no hard feelings between us."

Sanji's hand froze on his food so that he could turn and give her his full attention. She deserved it. He flashed her a smile and reached over to smear some olive tapenade on the top of another slice of cheese, and then garnished it with some mint leaves. He placed the mini smorgasbord in the perfect center of a cracker and handed it to her. "Of course not." His voice was radiating happiness.

Meanwhile, Zoro—having finally found the honey, even though he didn't really want it—sighed to himself and prepared to turn around. Sanji and Conis were too kind. They'd be smiling at each other and touching and offering each other whatever food they had in front of themselves. He knew them both well enough to understand that they could never really hate each other—and he'd never want them to—it was all just very new. And if he were being honest with himself, Sanji telling him the honest truth was very new too, and it made him twitch slightly when he saw them together. God knows what else the cook wasn't telling him, even though he knew that was absurd.

Absurd or not though, it distracted him enough to walk right into Laki when he turned back around.

"Oof!" she laughed, grabbing his arms to steady herself. "Sorry, I guess I assumed you heard me coming."

Zoro grinned sheepishly. "Yeah… guess I'm not so impressive out of the arena."

"I wouldn't say that," Laki stepped away from him to lift herself up onto the counter and sit facing him. She had a plate of the leftover food in her hand while she waited for Sanji to make more—none had escaped Luffy's stomach—and was nibbling on it idly. "So this is the apartment of the famed Vampire Hunter."

Zoro cringed despite himself. He'd never liked the name, even before meeting Sanji. It had always made Killer twitch.

Laki seemed to realize her mistake and quickly backtracked. "Sorry, I—I guess… I got so used to not thinking of Conis and Sanji like that, I forget that some people actually do think of them as such. …I'm sorry."

"It's fine."

"…You're place is much more… decorated than I pictured."

Zoro barked out a short laugh before he could catch himself, moving to lean against the counter next to her. "Yeah, that's the cook."

"Ah," she nodded to herself in mock surprise, surveying the kitchen. "That would explain the plethora of things that aren't knives in this kitchen."

Sanji paused in his conversation with Conis, his eye catching Zoro and Laki chatting off in the quiet corner of the kitchen. That normally wouldn't have bothered him, except that whatever Laki had just said seemed to hit the marimo's sense of humor right on the head. They were currently staring at each other silently in joking glares, waiting for the other to crack. Laki finally did and she said something else that made Zoro smirk. Then gesture towards the cabinet, offering her tea. She nodded and he set about making it. Sanji blanched.

Zoro was making someone else food?!

Laki wasn't even…! She was too…! She wasn't—well, she was gorgeous, and perfect of course—but definitely not for Zoro! He was such a hulking ape! Sexy as hell of course, and devoted, and kind, and passionate, and strong, and…

Sanji's eyes followed as Zoro passed her a steaming mug and she thanked him with a smile before continuing the conversation. He wasn't talking, like normal, the uncouth monkey, but whatever she was saying was interesting enough to keep him in the conversation at all. Hadn't Luffy said that? That he was good with Zoro because he understood him without the words? Or whatever.

Sanji huffed to himself and turned back to the pan in front of him, reaching for a plate and nodding to Conis like he'd been listening the whole time. There was nothing to worry about and he knew it. Still, it made his insides bubble uncomfortably.

-oOo-

"Let's go on a date."

"…What?"

"Technically, a respectable amount of time hasn't passed since I broke up with Conis, but I'm counting the time that I've been here as time not being together with her—"

"No, wait, what?"

Sanji gave him an exasperated look and took the cigarette out of his mouth, so he could talk more clearly. "I'm asking you out."

Zoro stood frozen in the dojo, weights half raised over his head mid-rep, staring owl-eyed at Sanji like he'd asked to move to a faraway island somewhere completely off the grid.

Sanji sighed and moved to lean against the closest support beam, tucking one of his legs casually behind the other. "Generally," his tone was of a teacher talking to someone with a severely lowered IQ. Or a brain injury. "When you like someone, it's customary to go out on dates with them. You know," he waved his hand flippantly through the air and slipped the cigarette back into his lips in one smooth motion. "Get to know the other person. Make small talk. Ask stupid icebreaker questions. Find out what their favorite color is and what pets they had as a kid and stuff about their families—"

"…But you know all that stuff—"

"Maybe see some red flags that can help you decide if you see you two together for longer than a summer fling. All that shit. Spending every night fucking until the sun comes up is nice—"

"Speaking of—" Zoro waggled his eyebrows but Sanji plowed right by, completely ignoring his interjection.

"—but you can't get to know someone only between the sheets. The other stuff is important too. Dating is fun if you do it right, and to do it right you have to go the whole nine yards with exactly what the other person would want."

Oh dear god, what had he signed himself up for?

Zoro thought to himself for a moment, taking the time to lower the weights back to a resting position. He fought off a shiver, thinking of flowers and limos and quiet music and fancy tablecloths and—ugh—having to actually pay attention to table manners—

Sanji blew out a heavy breath, shooting Zoro a look. "Are you really turning me down, marimo?"

Zoro's eyes snapped back to the cook, impossibly graceful even in his casual stance, majestic even when he was glaring at Zoro. Even months after meeting him, witnessing Sanji's… beauty never got mundane.

"…I'm not getting dressed up."

"HA! Like I could take you anywhere that fancy. I'd embarrass myself horrifically."

Zoro shot him a glare. "And I'm leaving if you start fawning over any girls."

"Yes, yes, I will be a perfect gentleman. Anything else?"

Zoro said nothing and Sanji looked back to the moss head from where his eyes had drifted to the floor, smirking to himself at Zoro's pinched expression. The fucker was cute when he did that. He'd definitely picked up the pinched lip thing from Law, which was very endearing indeed.

Sanji's eyes fell back to the floor for a moment and he drew in a thick breath from the cigarette. More and more… affectionate words were working into his vocabulary as of late with regards to the marimo. He wasn't quite sure how he felt about it. He'd found many men attractive over the years, but the adjectives he used to describe them were always more… manly. Handsome, built, strong, dark, dominant, brave, resolute… Zoro was all of the above, but words like pretty, sensual, alluring (even when the dope was being an ape), and loving were starting to pick up in frequency when Zoro crossed his mind. "Cute" was becoming a favorite of his brain.

Sanji couldn't keep the happiness out of his expression when Zoro pouted, and pretty soon he gave in, chuckling to himself as a full-blown smile split his face. Damn. "Come on, Zoro. I'm actually pretty good at planning dates. Give me some credit. Really easy and simple, no anticipation, we can do it tonight just so I can prove to you how good I am at this shit."

Zoro thought for another moment, his lips still pinched together—just like daddy—before he finally grunted and resumed his reps. "Fine."

Sanji nodded, smile still way too prominent on his face, and turned to head up the stairs. "Pick you up at three."

What was he thinking? Three hours to prepare for a date? Minus the time he needed to get himself ready… he had to start now.

Zoro watched him dash up the stairs, knowing full well that nothing about that night would be simple… but whatever. It was worth it to see smiles like that on Sanji's face as often as possible. He could deal with a couple nights of stiff clothing and uppity waiters that knew way too much about wines because it made Sanji happy.

Because it made Sanji happy. Zoro grunted, a little miffed at himself, and picked up the pace of his curls. He still wasn't used to how easily he thought that.

-oOo-

Zoro blinked as Sanji thunked two backpacks down on the countertop (that were decently heavy, if the way they shook the things on the counter said anything). The cook took the cigarette butt out of his mouth and tossed it into the sink with a small hiss, looking proudly and expectantly over in Zoro's direction.

His eyes grew slightly as he took in the swordsman's appearance. "Did you change?"

Zoro huffed, crossing his arms as he felt himself flushing slightly. "Are we going or what?"

Sanji didn't seem to quite have the correct answer, being that he hadn't gotten over the changing thing. "You… I thought you said you weren't going to dress up—"

"I'm going to take a nap," Zoro snapped and abruptly turned for the stairs.

"No!" Sanji barked, trailing off as Zoro stopped on the first step, pouting back at him. "I just…!" The word "cute" popped back into his head, but he was too flabbergasted with what Zoro was wearing to really care, or even notice.

Zoro had not only showered, and had maybe even cared how his hair dried, but also had put on a pair of black jeans that were so crisp the marimo couldn't have worn them more than once or twice, a white t-shirt that was in very similar condition, his best black boots, and a heavy, dark-green, military-style jacket. Sanji couldn't help but admire how well the gold from his three earrings went with the green of the jacket.

"…Well," Sanji managed finally, "can… can you hike in that?"

Zoro blinked. "…Hike?"

"…Yeah, you said you weren't dressing up. Also taking you to an expensive restaurant would be the worst date for your personality ever. I told you I'm good at this, why would we go somewhere like that? You'd hate it."

Zoro looked down at himself. He didn't particularly care about what he was wearing, but it was technically the only nice thing he had. The only reason he had them at all was because Nami had dragged him out a couple years back when they needed to make an appearance with Shanks in Whitebeard's territory. Ace was there training under Whitebeard and Luffy and Shanks had been dying to visit him.

Zoro sighed heavily. "Hang on," he turned for the stairs, "Nami will murder me if she finds out I ruined these."

"…Ok," Sanji replied, mostly to himself, watching Zoro thud up the stairs. The moss head… had dressed up for him. Sort of.

But he still looked damn good.

Sanji smirked to himself, unzipping his backpack once more to make sure he had everything.

-oOo-

Sanji had borrowed one of Franky's clunkers, picked up a map from a neighboring city's grocery store, plunked Zoro into the passenger seat, put the bags in the back, and then told Zoro he could sleep until they got there. Which Zoro did wholeheartedly. It was a decent start to any date in Zoro's mind.

So when the swordsman was finally jostled awake as the car jolted across the craggily roads of some back trail, the fact that it was starting to get dark kind of threw him. He blinked blearily out the window, trying to find some sort of landmark that he recognized, but nothing looked familiar. He glanced at the clock and shot Sanji a look.

"You know it gets dark at like six this time of year, right?"

Sanji gave him an incurious smirk in return, holding up his hand dramatically as if to stop Zoro at a crosswalk. "Please, marimo, I got this."

Zoro rolled his eyes and leaned back in his seat again, about to get comfortable and drift back off to sleep when Sanji slammed on the breaks suddenly and he jolted forward, hacking unceremoniously when the seatbelt caught him.

"The fuck, cook?!"

"We're here!" Sanji warbled, throwing his own door open and practically prancing out of the driver's side and around to the backseat. Zoro sighed to himself and released himself from the locked buckle that was now constricting his breathing. Once he was out of the car, Sanji tossed him one of the backpacks and Zoro threw it on and got comfortable to wait until the cook had situated himself in his own. He took the quiet moment to look up in front of the car, tracing the mountain in front of him with his eyes. It was just about four o'clock; the drive had taken about an hour. The sky would be mostly dark at around five and then pitch black at six.

It was a big mountain.

"And I'm assuming that you can figure out that this mountain looks like a four hour hike just to get to the top?"

Sanji flashed him another goofy smirk and slammed the car door, tucking the keys into his pocket. "Don't worry." Zoro felt himself deadpan at the cook's tone. If Sanji faked being any more suave, he would slide back down the mountain like butter. "I got this."

So Zoro sighed to himself again, resigned himself to another night of sleeping in the open if they never made it back, hoped Sanji had enough sense to bring enough water for the both of them, and set off after the cook up the trail.

The mountain itself wasn't very difficult; it wasn't an easy hike, but it definitely wasn't making him sweat either. Zoro still wasn't sure if that was a good or bad thing. In the meantime, however, the sky was getting blacker and blacker, and Sanji had even resorted to pulling out a flashlight to lead them up the rest of the trail so they didn't trip and crack their heads open on something. They also weren't more than a quarter of the way up the mountain. And he was getting hungry.

"I'm not impressed with your date so far," he called, and Sanji spared him a flat look over his shoulder—just enough to make Zoro grin impishly—before he turned back to the trail. The next branch the cook pushed out of the way, he ducked suddenly so it snapped back at Zoro's head, and the swordsman ducked with a yelp. He lunged forward, swiping at Sanji's ankles and the cook leapt over his hands, dashing up the trail with a short bark of laughter. Zoro smirked. Now this he could get into.

They were tearing through the dark, Zoro leaping over rocks and fallen trees in his way to catch up. He'd be lying if he said it wasn't a strain, both Killer and Sanji were uncannily fast, but with being unable to see most things because of the darkness, it gave him an extra burst of adrenaline.

Zoro jumped up onto a rock that the cook had forgone in order to run around it, launching himself forward to get a couple steps ahead and Sanji skidded to a halt so suddenly that Zoro barely had time to readjust his fall before he crash landed on top of the cook, sending them both toppling forward. He rotated his body so Sanji wouldn't hit the ground, using the inertia to keep him moving as he gripped Sanji's backpack and flew over the cook's shoulder. Sanji yelped as he was yanked forward and came down with a grunt on Zoro's chest, something clattering like pots and pans in his backpack as they landed in a heap.

Zoro blinked at the sound, leaning around to see if the tin man had fallen out of Sanji's bag. "What the hell did you pack?" He wasn't so distracted though that he couldn't enjoy Sanji lying on top of him, and took a moment to marvel at the way Sanji's stunning blue eye was catching the moonlight and making it glow like some phosphorescent sea life. With the hazy blue light from the moon drifting around them, reflecting off of Sanji's pale hair and skin as well as his eye, he looked pretty magical. Zoro leaned up, bringing himself in closer to the cook—

"There is it!" Sanji popped up suddenly and scrambled off of Zoro's chest, ignoring him even as Zoro tugged gently at his pant leg, unconsciously trying to get him not to go. Zoro dropped his head back to the ground, rolling his eyes back in his head in annoyance before he pushed himself off of the ground to find what the cook had gotten so excited over.

"…Cook?"

Sanji was scaling a wall of rocks close to twenty feet high with the flashlight stuck between his teeth, throwing light every which way as he tried to find the easiest way up.

"Come om!" he slurred around the flashlight and Zoro stepped up to the rocks below him, finding the first place for his foot and pulling himself up onto the first ledge. He doubted they were very close to the path at this point.

Zoro continued to clamber up as Sanji disappeared over the top of the rocks, and then another clatter of metal echoed back down. Not Sanji dropping anything by accident—Zoro guessed—from the lack of expletives that followed, but it had made a hell of a racket.

Zoro pulled himself up over the top of the rock and was immediately blinded by the flashlight that Sanji had left there once he reached the top. Zoro grunted in annoyance and heaved himself up, dropping his backpack next to the cook as Sanji spread out a blanket over a mossy area to their right.

The view in front of them wasn't anything special, just a bunch of trees and what Zoro was pretty sure was a river off in the distance, but that was it. They were pretty removed from civilization at this point. It was… peaceful, he supposed.

"What is this?" he turned down to where Sanji had pulled out a rolled-up newspaper and a box of matches and set them to the side.

"This?" Sanji looked out over the view before turning back to his materials. "Nothing."

"…Nothing."

"Yeah, this isn't anything."

"…Then why are we—"

"Hang on, hang on, I'm almost done!"

Sanji's exuberance was just pouring out from his bubbly tone, so Zoro found a seat on the blanket the cook had laid out and nestled himself into a comfy position against the rocks behind him. The light from the flashlight was really bright, illuminating the whole area around them and sending all sorts of interesting shadows across the rocks. Zoro closed his eyes after a moment.

"Don't you fall asleep on me," Sanji warned and Zoro grunted something like an affirmative. The rustling continued as Sanji balled up the newspaper and found a couple of sticks, setting up for a fire. Occasionally he'd nudge Zoro with his foot to make sure he didn't fall asleep, but other than that they were quiet.

Zoro cracked an eye as the rustling came to a stop, looking up to find Sanji coming to join him, settling himself into the blanket as he lit a cigarette, the tiny spark flaring brightly against the light from the flashlight.

"Ready?" Sanji asked, so excited it was almost like he was a child, and Zoro nodded just to humor him. The hike had been nice, and he wasn't too keen on staying out here the whole night, but maybe if he got some sex out of it—

Sanji reached across him, and Zoro's first instinct was to reach up and touch him, but the cook had grabbed the flashlight and pulled back before he had the chance. Zoro dropped his hands and huffed to himself.

"Ready?" Sanji asked again, and Zoro was about to snap at him when the cook flicked the flashlight off and they were engulfed in the black.

Zoro's eyes adjusted to the dark, and he couldn't keep his mouth from dropping open as the sky was consumed in stars. Trillions of twinkling lights that lit up the whole valley, giving the trees and the river an unearthly glow and the rocks they were sitting on an opalescent radiance. It was so bright that he could see the light dancing off of the water from miles away, and when the trees shifted in the wind the remaining leaves caught the light like stained glass hanging in a window.

"…This…" Zoro finally managed, but he didn't seem to have words for the rest of it.

"This was my favorite place to come after breaking out of the facility."

Zoro looked over to Sanji's reflective expression, swallowing heavily at the angelic aura the cook seemed to have taken on under the stars. His eye was still glowing like a cat's, and Zoro was trapped staring at this magnificent creature in front of him.

"My old man used to take me here if things got too stressful back home. There was no one around, and I think he was trying to… recondition me, or whatever, to be ok with the darkness. …When I was in the facility, unless I was on an exam table I was basically in total darkness. This place, which is so dark at night and so not dark at all with all the stars… it really helped me."

The cook seemed to be tracing something in the sky with his eye, and idly Zoro wondered if he was looking for constellations.

…He was so beautiful.

Zoro leaned forward and closed the distance between the two of them, leaning around so that he could press his lips to Sanji's, moving gingerly against him, tracing gentle lines on his cheek and jawbone. Sanji's hands drifted up and worked their way into his hair, returning some of his enthusiasm and Zoro pushed forward, leaning Sanji back, but the cook turned away sharply and Zoro stopped. So him avoiding Zoro earlier hadn't been a coincidence.

"…Listen…" Sanji started, his voice thicker now. "I… damn it."

Zoro tried to sit back but Sanji's grip tightened on his scalp and Zoro was left hovering awkwardly in the air in front of him, waiting for the cook. "…Yeah?"

Sanji didn't answer, and Zoro shifted again, trying not to fall. "…Can I lay down?"

Sanji released him at that, and Zoro thought about moving back over to his own spot, but the sight of Sanji sitting so anxiously held him fast, and after a moment he rolled over onto his back to rest his head on Sanji's thigh. The cook didn't react for a moment, and then his long fingers found Zoro's head again and he scratched slow lines into Zoro's hair. Dear god if Zoro was a cat he'd be purring like a motorcycle.

"About… about my old man—"

"I know," Zoro murmured, turning his head slightly so it was resting up against Sanji's hip and he wouldn't have to use his muscles to keep it straight.

"…You know?"

Zoro knew from Sanij's panicked tone and his own past experience what was going through the cook's head. The frantic thoughts about what he'd done to give himself away, how many people had figured it out because of that, how much danger he was in, who would have figured it out that would be a danger to him or would have said something to someone that was a danger. He shook his head before Sanji's imagination could run totally wild with that thought process.

"I think Shanks figured it out pretty early on. He never asked me to try and find out where you were from specifically, I was just supposed to keep an eye out for anything in general, but he never really distrusted you, so that's the only reason I can come up with. More have probably figured it out since Conis came to visit."

"…Conis?"

"We grew up with her. She spent a lot of weekends out here when she was dating Ace, and then less after they broke up but we knew when she'd started dating someone else, and we knew she lived in Red-leg's territory."

Sanji's hand had stilled on Zoro's head. Zoro wasn't really sure if that was a good or a bad thing.

"Ace really clued me in when he came. You know, Red-leg, Black-leg. And it sounded like you had a lot of influence from where you're from, so you'd have to be pretty high up. Makes sense that he's your dad."

Sanji hadn't said anything, but he'd resumed his stroking of Zoro's head, so that couldn't have been a bad sign. Zoro closed his eyes and gave Sanji a moment to process that as he surveyed the stars. He could understand because of Killer how unnerving it was to have a ton of people know a lot of intimate details about you.

"…Zeff…"

That was the first time Sanji had ever said his name out loud, and Zoro could hear the incredible gratitude and pride and debt and love and admiration and thousands of other emotions saturating Sanji's voice without any difficulty. Sanji held the man in incredibly high regard.

"…I owe him everything. He saved my life, stuck with me, taught me how to trust people, how to run and fight and protect myself. He fixed my mistakes when I fucked up, called in hundreds of hundreds of favors to keep me hidden when it looked like I'd been found out… for years and years he was the only thing I had. And the only thing I wanted. I went from having no one to having him. …I couldn't have ended up in a better situation, especially with how old I was and the fact that I'd already broken out once so they were fine to kill me off."

Zoro looked up to find Sanji's glowing eye, watching the way it flicked silently back and forth, following shapes and patterns in the sky. Maybe Sanji knew some of the more obscure stories behind the constellations.

"Kids like me, and Conis, and Killer… children with the NSPH virus in the facilities die. We don't get happiness—I can't tell you how many kids I saw come and go before they even reached twelve. They killed us off before puberty because our bodies went through changes that would mess up their experiments and it was easier just to start over with another kid. You don't lose as many years that way if an experiment kills them. Kids are also more resilient and can handle more drugs and altercations to their bodies. We don't get families and parents and friends and homes… and I got Zeff. I owe that man literally everything."

"…Did Conis tell him…?"

Sanji was silent for another long moment before he reached into his bag and pulled out his cigarettes and a lighter, finally giving in to the stress. To his credit though, he hadn't stopped talking. The cook was doing so much better than he had been when he'd first gotten to their city.

"Did she tell him I'm alive?" Sanji's tone had taken a sharp and angry dip, like he felt so guilty that he didn't know what to do with it at this point. "Doubt it. Shanks hasn't said he tried to contact me. And I don't have my cellphone anymore, that would have been the only way."

"Why hasn't she said anything?" It sounded like Conis would feel more or less the same way, especially if she was being hidden and protected by Zeff. Going behind his back like this…

"Who knows. Maybe she thinks I want to do it. Maybe she thinks I won't and she's testing me. She asked me if I'd been planning to come back at all."

"…You don't want to?"

"…No. I want to. Some days I miss him so fucking much it takes everything I have in me not to boost a car and just drive home. But rationally I know that would cause a whole lot more shit than it would solve, and it's pretty damn likely I'd never make it there anyways."

"Why?"

"…I've probably been found out already."

Zoro's breath caught in his throat, and Sanji must have noticed because the pace of his caressing had picked up, which would have been more soothing if Sanji hadn't just fucking said that the people that were trying to take him back to the facility probably knew—

"They found me in Zeff's territory and got me out without anyone seeing. I didn't even see them. They lured me away and jammed a sedative in my back before I could even turn to look at them. And in all honesty I still can't shake the feeling that I'm being followed. The only reason they haven't made a move yet is probably because I'm around so many of Shanks' strongest fighters."

"…So all we have to do is not let you out of our sight?"

Sanji snorted, letting out another deep breath of smoke that glowed eerily in the starry sky. "Sure. Until they get bored of waiting, then they start on other tactics. Or they just wait until we mess up."

"Wouldn't Zeff be more help in protecting you? You know, just having that extra set of eyes or hands or whatever?"

Sanji closed his mouth slowly, turning to look away before he shook his head.

Zoro wanted to reach up and touch him, or hug him, or kiss him, or something docile that would calm the cook, but he knew nothing would at this point. This topic was just difficult. "…You can't contact him at all?"

"…I probably can, I'm just so fucking paranoid. What if they actually haven't found me here and he wants to come visit? That'll start talk about why Shanks and him are suddenly so buddy-buddy. People might put together that I disappeared not too long ago while under the care of Shanks' fighters and Conis came here not too long before Zeff did, and she very rarely visits. They might start looking around, come up with where Zeff came from originally and how close it was to my facility and how he disappeared exactly the same time I did and after already having been seen breaking me out and housing me the first time I broke out and—"

Sanji cut off sharply, leaning his head into his free hand. "…It's stupid. Zeff and I are already as deep as we can be in the danger zone. If people were going to put together who I am and who he is and where we came from they would have done so years ago. And actually clearly already did, if my recent kidnapping says anything. …The only thing keeping him safe is how easily they made off with me and the fact that they haven't decided that he himself is a direct threat to the government. If they ever decide to send in someone to take him down though…"

"Red-leg has a lot of friends in the underground. I know from Shanks that his… search and rescue program or whatever has helped a lot of people from a lot of territories."

Sanji chuckled to himself. "Search and rescue… It's more like a witness protection program."

"Yeah, same thing. My point is that so many people owe him so much… the government would have to be stupid to try and take him down without planning on taking down the whole underground. They're not strong enough to do that. They also really don't have the evidence to do anything legally."

Sanji nodded, rubbing Zoro's head with more fervor now and making Zoro meld into his leg like a wad of clay.

"…Also, whenever you get cold we can light that fire, and your backpack has burgers and onigiri and a couple other things we can cook."

"…I lied. This is a good date."

"I told you. I'm good at what I do. Moss head. Also…"

Zoro blinked up as Sanji reached over him and into the backpack Zoro had been carrying, rooting around inside with one hand awkwardly as he mashed Zoro's head into his leg with his chest.

Zoro reached up and tapped him after a moment, nose starting to feel significantly crushed. "'Ey, I don't heal as fast as you do."

"I can't…" Sanji grunted, trying to lean farther and pull away from him at the same time and just ended up squishing his face more. "Ah!"

He sat back suddenly and Zoro reached up to finger his nose tenderly when something large and heavy and soft was dropped on his face. He pulled it back to stare stupidly at the extra blanket.

"What's this for?" They were already laying on one.

Sanji was quiet for another moment and then curled his spine down and leaned in to press his lips against Zoro's.

"Extra padding," he hissed into Zoro's ear when he pulled back, sliding his thigh out from under Zoro's head to roll over on top of the swordsman. Zoro grinned and shifted his legs, letting Sanji settle in between them with a pleasant roll of his body that ground them together. He grunted heavily at the contact and reached up, pulling Sanji down into a kiss.

Sanji sighed contently into his mouth, talented hands moving to run up and down every contour of Zoro's body and explore all the lines his muscles made in his skin. Sanji found the two ribs on his side that always made him shiver and ran a hand firmly across them. Zoro jolted, rolling into the touch and pushing up for better access to Sanji's lips.

Sanji pulled back and grabbed the blanket from where it had been discarded off to the side, flipping it open once Zoro had rolled off of the one already there. Zoro waited while the cook spread it evenly, tucking corners under big rocks so it wouldn't move, and then took the cook's cheeks in his hands once Sanji had turned back to him, kissing him slowly.

Sanji grabbed his shoulders and shimmied over to the blanket, pulling on Zoro's back and trying to get him to lie down on top of him, but Zoro kept pushing back against the cook's confused resistance until Sanji's back was up against the rocks behind them, and then clambered up so his legs were on either side of the cook's hips. Sanji grinned, finally catching on, and grabbed Zoro's hips with uncanny speed, grinding him down the second he thrust up so hard that little black spots burst behind Zoro's eyes.

Zoro groaned hugely, not bothering to care how loud he was with how far off they were into the mountains. And being this high up, they'd hear people coming for miles. And so he was left to moan and fall over onto one of Sanji's shoulders, bracing himself against the rocks behind him with his hands, though he wasn't really sure when he'd grabbed them.

"'S kinda cold," Sanji murmured, not stopping once with his movements. Zoro was inclined to agree. Not that he much fucking cared, especially when the cook worked open his zipper and grabbed him, jerking roughly.

"Don't care," he groaned and tried to roll his hips, only for the cook to grab him in a hold so harsh he really couldn't move, and thrust up hard again. Oh dear god.

"Your ass is going to freeze."

"Sanjiiiii."

"Alright, alright," Sanji chuckled, reaching into the bag next to him for the lube. Zoro didn't heal quite as easily as him, AKA, didn't adjust as quickly to being fucked. And the cook was impatient. Zoro had been wicked sore the last time and Sanji had immediately picked up some lube the next time he was out.

Said cook was also grinning stupidly to himself in a prideful sort of manner, and Zoro gritted his teeth, not so much in favor of being the only one here that was acting like a whore. He pushed forward again, jerking his way our of Sanji's distracted hold, and Sanji's breath hiccupped as Zoro's naked manhood ground against his pants. Zoro's pride vanished as he did this and he closed his eyes, pushing forward again experimentally.

Sanji paused, slowly taking the bottle out from where he'd found it, and turned back to meet Zoro's eyes. Zoro swallowed and shifted forward, solidifying his grip on the rocks to hoist himself up a little more onto his knees and less on Sanji's legs. Once he had the mobility he wanted he leaned forward, pressing his lips to Sanji's forehead and running his cock slowly across Sanji's lower belly. The cook had gone quiet, eye glued to the junction between their bodies as Zoro slid himself up and down Sanji's stomach in micro-thrusts, breathing quietly and deeply to himself.

Zoro kissed Sanji's hairline and sparked a tiny movement from the cook, who seemed at first like he was debating not breaking this small fairy circle, and then changed his mind and reached up slowly to wrap his hand around Zoro's manhood. Zoro grunted and picked up his pace, thrusting into Sanji's hand.

Sanji let out a low growl and leaned forward, grip still tight on Zoro's cock, to wrap his other arm around Zoro's back and pull him in close. Zoro leaned his head back, gasping into the cold, night air as his muscles tightened and the cold and hot sensation swept through his body that had nothing to do with the temperature around them.

"…Goddamn…" Sanji breathed into his neck and Zoro groaned loudly, pace picking up again and he shifted his hands from the rocks to Sanji's back for more leverage, curling in around the cook.

"Fuck…" Zoro hissed, and Sanji let go of him suddenly to shove him back where he landed with a grunt, pants suddenly gone from his body in a harsh yank and Sanji was between his legs, grinding so hard it was almost painful. Zoro grabbed onto the cook's shoulders and held on for dear life, mind reeling as his nerves were overloaded.

Zoro felt Sanji's core muscles tighten and the cook used the leverage of his knees against the ground to lift himself off of Zoro's front, fumbling with both hands to get his pants off as fast as possible. Sanji caught Zoro's eye, the swordsman watching him contently, admiring the glow in Sanji's eye from the stars and the slight sheen on his skin from sweat despite the chill in the air around them, and paused. His pants were already down around his knees, and when he leaned forward slowly to meet Zoro's lips, his manhood came to rest comfortably between Zoro's legs and Zoro sighed, although it might have been a hiccup, or a spasm. Whatever.

Sanji's arms found a place next to Zoro's head as the cook situated himself above Zoro and leaned forward, mimicking Zoro's micro-thrusts from earlier, drawing himself up and down Zoro's body. Zoro hiccupped again and shifted, subtly rocking himself—maybe undulate would be a good word—trying to entice Sanji forward. One of Sanji's arms left the side of his head and reached down between them, positioning himself as he slid forward and pushed into Zoro with a grunt.

Zoro's head dropped back against the ground and he held his back still as he adjusted, Sanji continuing his micro-thrusts and breathing heavily into his neck, both arms now back alongside his head. It would only be so long before Sanji gripped his shoulders and used him for leverage to fuck his brains out, but this was nice too. Although, the extra heat wouldn't be—oh.

Sanji twisted his hips suddenly, swirling around inside Zoro, and Zoro let out a sound so foreign that Sanji halted abruptly and lifted his head with his one glowing eye to find Zoro's face.

"…Did that hurt—"

"God no."

He hadn't intended to say it so forcefully, and almost immediately the flush in his cheeks began, but it did the trick. Sanji grinned devilishly to himself and shifted, repeating his motion suddenly.

Oh yeah.

Zoro's blunt nails found the skin on Sanji's back and anchored himself there as the cook picked up speed, twisting and rotating with those incredibly powerful hips, dragging him along like undertow pulling him into the waves. Sanji's arms locked behind his back and around his shoulder blades, sucking him further and further into the depths, and Zoro felt the telltale cold, numbness rising up from his toes, through his limbs, painfully slowly until it smashed into his groin like a volcano with painfully cold heat and Zoro groaned into Sanji's shoulder, feeling the hot splatter mixing with their meshed bodies. The feeling made Sanji's back spasm unevenly and the cook grunted, lurching into Zoro one last time before he stilled, his lips finding Zoro's neck harshly.

Zoro laid back, breathing heavily, looking up at the stars and about to detangle himself from Sanji's body when the cook's tongue snaked out over his skin, followed almost immediately by the scrape of razor-sharp fangs dancing across the tender and pathetically thin barrier between Sanji's venom and his jugular vein.

Zoro froze, unable to help himself, grip still lax on Sanji's back, ankles still wrapped around the cook's hips as Sanji played—amused himself by tracing patterns up and down his tendons with both his fangs and his tongue. Zoro's brain was jumping uncomfortably between working frantically to find a way out of this situation, figure out what had happened, and come down off of his orgasm all at the same time. It wasn't working so well.

And then all at once Sanji pulled back and hot lips met with his own. Just lips. Gentle skin, with no fangs. Zoro let himself close his eyes and sink into the kiss as Sanji moved slowly against him.

What was that? He wasn't even sure if the question was necessary to say outloud.

"You hungry?" Sanji murmured around his mouth, dipping back in between every word for another kiss, and Zoro nodded, the cook moving to peel their sweaty bodies apart and find some sort of clothes for them in the chilly night air.

-oOo-

-Augie March