The Breakdown

(Day 108: Tuesday Afternoon)

Ben looks around the classroom as he hears the student read, and when he notices the others turn the page he does the same. The guy's words are fast, and Ben points at a word he thinks he had heard; however, by the time he had found it his classmate could be anywhere ahead of that. He looks up again and glances down the row for any sign of where they could be. "Ben?" He swiftly turns his head toward the Sociology teacher, before the instructor asks, "Would you like to read?"

Ben's eyes shift, and it takes him a moment to answer, "No." The class erupts in laughter, and he looks around at the sudden uproar of chaotic people and overlapping sounds. He looks at Aziz, but he merely nods up toward the teacher.

By the time Ben's eyes move back to him, the professor shouts something. Whatever he had threatened must have worked, because the room has become deathly silent. He glances around and notices everyone is sitting in their seats again, before the teacher says, "Ben." and he meets his light grey eyes. "I would like you to read, please."

He looks down at the textbook, "What?"

"Just finish off the section."

Ben looks back up at the brown haired teacher and wets his lips, "I meant, where?" Aziz points to the spot in Ben's textbook, and he eyes the spot, "Right." He takes a breath before starting to read, but not a minute later a girl's voice interrupts him. He finds the blond, "Pardon?"

"Contact," she sternly repeats. "The t is part of the second syllable, not the first one." He hears Aziz's voice and looks at him responding in frustration, before he sees the girl speak again, "So, what? He can't pronounce contact?"

It's quiet for a long minute, before the teacher says, "Ben." and quickly faces him. "Please continue."

Ben starts off with the same word he had ended with, but he halts at the sound of the girl's annoyed breath. He parts his lips again before continuing, but he then stumbles upon a word that nearly covers the entire line. It starts with phy, because of course it does. "Psychosomatic," Aziz pronounces for him.

"Yes," Ben says before skipping over the word; however, it's not long before he's confronted with another impossibly long word, and he stands to rush toward the door, leaving his materials back at his table.

The teacher loudly says, "Ben." and when he turns the tears are seen in his eyes. He cautiously continues with a softer tone, "What's wrong?"

Ben feels his heart quicken, his breathing unsteady, "I can't do it." as he shakes his head. "I can't do it."

"Yes, you can," the teacher slowly takes a step forward.

He shakes his head even harder, "No. I can't." before the tears stream from his eyes. "I can't do twenty letter words right now." He breathes, "I'm sorry."

"Okay." He raises a hand in reassurance, "How about you take your seat, and we can get someone else to read?"

"It don't," he loudly rejects, before he half laughs. "The words are fast, they're long, and—" He gives up, finishing in French, and the instructor's frown deepens. Ben's words quicken, several sentences seeming to pass before he allows himself to breath.

"Hey. It's okay." He moves forward to place a hand on Ben's good shoulder, and Ben sobs. "It's going to be okay." He turns back to the class, "Start your vocab. I'll be back soon." The teacher opens the door and guides him out to the hallway, and Ben knows he's done something wrong. He follows him down the hallway, realizing he shouldn't have complained. He shouldn't have spoken French. He should have just stayed in his seat, or maybe he wasn't acting up enough. Could he have not read had he only insisted not to? He notices a group of people gawking at him, and he uses his sleeve to wipe the tears away. No. He probably would had to have sworn at him and get sent to Fairy Godmother's office, but whatever way he could have stopped it, it's too late. His face is warm, the world is a daze, and his breaths are slow. He glances down, just barely able to feel his feet. He's tired. He feels like sleeping. He stops walking, and the brown haired professor looks back, "Ben?"

Ben stares at him for a moment, before he turns to the left and slowly walks to the drinking fountain. He takes the tic-tac case from his pocket, dumping a few pills into his hand, before he puts the case back, takes the pills with his other hand, and brings them to his mouth. He presses the button for the fountain, downing the tablets with the cold water, before he stands up and sees the teacher next to him. "Where… going?"

"Fairy Godmother." He eyes over him, "Are you okay?"

"Okay," Ben repeats, but when the teacher doesn't move he walks around him.

The professor walks beside him, "I don't know how much you can understand me right now, but we are here for you, you know."

It takes a second for Ben to tiredly say, "I know."

"And whatever problems you face, you should feel free to tell the administration about it," he lets him know; however, this time Ben fails to respond, and when they stop outside the office he raises a finger, "One minute." Ben's eyes follow as his hand flattens and then lowers. "Wait here."

Ben turns toward the wall, noticing the two chairs, and after a long stare at the wood and green, vine cushion he sits down. The blue lockers ahead of him are dented, and the light from above seems to poke down in spikes. They become longer as his eyes close and back to their default position as his eyes open, and he yawns once at the bright light before shutting his eyelids, however, the light can still be seen through them, and when the light shifts he opens them again. Fairy Godmother solemnly smiles at him, "How are you?"

He takes a deep breath, relieved to hear the French, "I…" but his eyes shift as he realizes the circumstances. "I swear, my English isn't that bad," he widens his eyes, before he wets his lips, "It's just the classes."

"Why don't you come in, and we can talk about that?"

Ben glances between the two of them, before he stands from his seat and she makes a pathway for him to enter the office. Halfway to the chair, he looks back and watches their serious expressions, before the headmistress smiles, the sociology teacher nods, and he leaves. Ben sees her turn back to the office, and he quickly looks away and continues to the chair. He moves his thumb in a circle over his forefinger, before he watches her sit behind the desk. "Look. When I said it was the classes," Ben glances down, "I didn't mean—"

"I won't make you quit them," she interrupts.

He cautiously leans forward, "You won't?" and she shakes her head. Ben's eyes turn down for a second, "Then why am I here?"

"You're here, because you had a breakdown."

"So, this is about disrupting class," Ben concludes as he looks toward the door.

"No." Fairy Godmother contradicts, "This is very much about you." and he meets her dark brown eyes. "You're here so that we may discuss what happened." He doesn't speak, staring down at the wooden desk, trying to recall any major detail that had happened. "Mr. Herz said you were trying to read for the class but that you gave up, and when he stopped you from leaving you ended up venting in French. Could you tell me what you told him?"

Ben looks up again, "I don't really remember." before he moves the bangs from his eyes. "I have a hard time remembering things that happen when I get upset."

"Do you know why?"

He lifts his shoulder, "Maybe because it makes the fever higher." before he eyes off. "Maybe not."

"People tend to think differently when they feel different ways," Fairy Godmother informs. "It would not be unreasonable to say that because you seem calm now that you would not understand how you were thinking when you were upset." He doesn't speak. "Could you tell me what stressor could have triggered this breakdown of yours?"

Ben wets his lips, "I'm fine, really. I just haven't slept."

"Do you miss out on sleep a lot?" she inquires.

It takes him a moment, "I suppose."

"Then, as concerning as that is, it's not very new." He looks away from her. "Ben. I would like you to be honest with me." She waits for him to face her. "Have you been having trouble with English?"

"I'm king," he quietly states.

"But that does not make you immune to problems," the headmistress finishes. "You're still just a person. You're as mortal and subject to strife as the rest of us."

He takes a deep breath before admitting, "I may have been having a little trouble."

Fairy Godmother nods, "For how long?"

He looks away from her, "Since I fell." and he can feel the tears threaten his eyes again as he faces her. "I got a concussion. It should be gone by now."

She frowns, "Some concussions can last months."

"No," Ben's eyes widen, and he scoots to the edge of his seat. "This can't take months."

"Maybe I'm wrong," she tries to comfort him. "Most concussions are gone by the third week, but, unfortunately, however long it takes for you to heal is not up to us." He leans back in his chair and stares up at the ceiling. "I know this must be hard for you, but it is still only temporary. You will get better."

Tears enter the corners of his eyes, and he wipes them away with his fingers, "Nothing gets better. It's just the same crap over and over again."

"What do you mean?"

He shakes his head, "Nothing." before he straightens up. "So, is there a reason for all this, or can I leave now?"

"You said this has been happening for a couple weeks," she continues on. "I wonder, how did you make it this long without anyone noticing?"

Ben gulps, "My friends."

"Your friends?" she inquires.

He nods, "Yeah. Evie was helping me with English class, and Aziz was helping me with Into to Sociology… It would have worked if I wasn't told to read."

"What about your other classes?" she concerns. "And your assignments?"

Ben laughs, "Chad. I was getting help from Chad."

"As in Chad Charming?" she disbelieves.

He smiles, "Yeah. I didn't think he would be much help either, but…" Ben shifts in his seat, "He helped me before, so we thought we'd give it a try now, I guess."

"What do you mean, he helped you before?"

"Well." Ben wets his lips, "You know, just back in elementary school." before he grins. "Talk about someone who's actually bilingual. I bet he wouldn't forget an entire language if he got a concussion."

"Wait." The headmistress pauses, eyes wide, as though she must be seeing things, "Are you telling me that Chad was helping you with English in primary school?"

Ben frowns, "Yes?"

"But you must have been five at the time," she notes. "What? Did your parents not teach you English before you entered kindergarten?"

Ben gets an unsettling feeling, as though he's in trouble, before he unsurely reminds her, "I told you before. I learn English at school. We don't speak it at home."

She lets out a stressed breath, "This is unbelievable. Your mother of all people, a true supporter of education, failing to educate her own child."

"Hey," he loudly defends. "It's not like she didn't teach me to speak at all. She taught me to speak. It was just French."

"But French isn't the national language, is it?" Fairy Godmother counters, and then Ben silences. "Your mother had the knowledge and means to teach you the national language, and yet she didn't. Why?"

Ben slightly shakes his head, "She must have been busy."

"Parents make time for their children," she argues. "A child is not something you take care of when convenient." The headmistress takes a calming breath, "For example, my ex-husband divorced me, because apparently I'm a workaholic; however, I still make every bit of effort to spend time with my daughter and teach her to the best of my ability. Your mother, whether queen or not, should have been able to do the same."

It takes a minute for Ben to say, "She didn't do anything wrong. I'm fine."

"So, you don't believe that had you learned English at a younger age that you would have an easier time with it now?" He doesn't speak. "Ben. I don't think you're grasping how serious this really is. English is the national language, which means that when your parents neglected to teach you it they also neglected to give you the tools to seek help should you need it."

"But I do know it," he denies.

"Only because the school taught it to you," she reinforces.

"And they would have known that," he desperately responds.

"Ben." She offers a sad expression, "I don't think that makes things any better." before she hesitates to continue. "Controlling who someone can and cannot talk to is a form of emotional abuse, and if your parents knew they were doing it that only makes matters worse."

Ben shakes his head hard, "No. My mother loves me. Whatever happened, it wasn't to hurt me. She was doing what was best."

"Best for who?" the headmistress inquires.

"What?" he asks in confusion.

"Keeping you from learning wouldn't help you," Fairy Godmother points out, "so who does it help?" He sighs, unable to think of anything. "I'm going to have to call her and get to the bottom of this."

"What?" Ben panics. "No."

"Is there a reason why I shouldn't?" she seriously questions.

Ben's quiet for a long minute, "I…" before he looks down. "Please." He meets her eyes again, "I don't want her to get in trouble."

"Ben," she quietly answers, "unless this call threatens someone's safety, it's important that I know my students are safe." She inquires, "Do you have any reason to suspect that calling your mother could get someone hurt?"

He parts his lips before speaking, "No."

"Okay, then." The headmistress continues, "I will call your mother, give her the opportunity to explain her actions, and until then we will take care of you."

Ben stares at her for a moment, "I'm safe."

"That's not what I meant." She rearranges the papers on her desk, "What I meant is, I am going to get you an interpreter to help you with your classes."

"An interpreter?"

"Yes," she states. "Someone who can translate for you, and I'm going to recommend that when possible the instructors offer you lecture notes and assignments beforehand so that you may review them with the interpreter outside of the classroom."

"Outside of the classroom?" Ben questions.

"French is a verbal language. I would like you spend the class time outside of the classroom so that both you and the other students may concentrate more effectively."

Ben slightly nods, "Okay."

She smiles, "Is there anything else I can do for you or that you would like to discuss?"

His eyes shift, "I don't want you to call her."

"Ben." She slowly explains, "The information you just gave me warrants investigation. At the least, I do need to get her side of the story."

"But I'm fine," Ben insists. "You know I'm fine. It's just temporary, remember?"

"Ben," she says again. "I would very much like to believe you're fine." She hesitates, "But I really don't think that's the case."

"I am," he widens his eyes. "I'm fine. This—" He wets his lips, "It's nothing."

It takes the headmistress a moment to comment, "The fact that you say this is nothing only proves that you've been through worse."

"No. It doesn't," Ben denies. "People go through bad things all the time. That's just a fact. People get hurt. It happens."

"Just because something happens," Fairy Godmother counters, "doesn't mean it should." He huffs in annoyance, his eyes shifting away. "Ben. You're a smart kid. You've taken every class on this. Surely, you can tell me if you've been mistreated."

He glares at her, "There's nothing to tell."

"Well, then," Fairy Godmother surpasses, "you may return to class."

"No." He leans forward, "You're not calling her."

"I'm afraid I have to."

"I said no," Ben roars, and he slaps his hand to his mouth as his eyes widen in horror. He holds it there tightly, and he can hear his own heart pound through the silence.

"Ben," the headmistress begins with caution. "Are you okay?"

He shakes his head and lets the hand drop from his mouth, before he whispers, "Nothing's okay." He offers her a pleading look, "I don't want to get my family into trouble."

"Ben," she addresses again. "You have to know that whatever your family has done, it's not your fault. You didn't do anything wrong."

"Yes, I did," he hisses. "I've been talking about family matters outside of the family, and now our reputation is going to get even worse. We're going to break apart."

"What makes you think that?"

"Because, it's what the people do." He gulps, "Once word gets out that I was only taught French they're going to think my parents have something to hide, they're going to dig to find our secrets, and then they're going to separate and kill us."

Fairy Godmother's mouth gapes, "Hold on. What secret could possibly be so bad?"

"Don't you get it?" he begins to cry. "I'm the secret. Everything about me is a secret." He unsteadily breathes, "They think my father is a man, a human, but I'm proof he's not. And there is no way that those people and their religions are going to let a demon be their king. No. They're going to kill me and my family, like they tried to kill my parents before."

"Okay. First thing." She lifts a hand, "A lot has changed since your parents took over the land. No one is killing anyone." She looks over him, "Did your parents tell you this?" but he doesn't speak. "Ben. No one is going to kill you. You should feel free to speak openly."

"If it's not true, then why are they afraid?"

"Because they had to live through it?" she suggests. "Or, maybe, they're not afraid at all." She pauses, "Maybe it's like the concept of Hell, and they just want you to be afraid so that you will behave."

Ben looks off in thought before meeting her eyes, "Can I still leave?"

She frowns with a nod, "Yes. You may leave."

-DeathCrawler Welcome back. Nice to see you again.

-Danifan3000 Yeah. I saw that movie too; however, I would argue that Toothless acted a little more like a dog than a cat, but that's just because I vividly remember the scene where he was dragging the stick in the sand. And, yeah, Mal is pretty cat-like, but as funny as the concept of her purring is, I don't think it will get that far... The beast was mainly a lion wolf creature, so Ben has an excuse to roar. Mal, not so much.

-Posted: 11/30/2018